The Stayton mail. (Stayton, Marion County, Or.) 1895-current, February 20, 1913, Page PAGE FOUR, Image 10

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    PAGE FOUR
Fooling the Phagocytes Hidden Lake
W ar and Rumors o f War Within the Human Body are Daily
Incidents—How we Deceive our Beet Friends
Is Big Boon
Discovery of Water Underground
in Washington County Great
Benefit to Whole District
E ABE prone to deceive our these fellows too dead to skin in two
friends and the Phagocytes or three more battles, and it might be
are no exception. The Pha worth while to go below mnd see what’s
HE discovery of what appear*
gocytes are our best and doing. We can come back any time
most intimate lriends sud vet we take aud polish o f f (his gang.hero. ”
to lie au immense underground
no thought for their pereuuial willing
So, o ff rush the Phagocytes, still
lake, uuderlyiug the eutire een
ness to fight for its our battles and s[»oiling for a fight, happy-gu lucky
tral portion o f Grant County,
every chance wc get to fool them wo little warriors. They reach the hot re
accept with unfailiug enthusiasm. Tho giou and they gird up their loins, hitch Wash., is responsible for the present
Phagocytes are the police o f the body, their breeches, spit on their hands—or activity in the Moses Lake diatrict,
always ready to club sonic offending do whatever a Phagocyte does when he regarding which mention was uiude iu
bacillus over the head aud run him into prepares for the lists. Then they start these columns last week. Land that
the lockup. The Phagocytes are the to wade in.
Imagine their blank
was once considered practically worth
standing army o f the body, only they amazement when they find that there
do not stand still long at a time, so is nothing into which they ran wade, lesa, because of the lack o f water, is
busy are they in putting down insur­ no foe to fight, no drunk nnd disor­ uow living reclaimed by the use of
rections on the part of germs thought derly bacilli to run in, no anarchistic pumping plauls, which furnish an eco­
thoroughly naturalized or in repelling demonstration to disperse. Nothiug to nomical means of aupplying water for
invasions on the [»art of alien microbes. do at all and a fine rhance to fight irrigation troiu a source which events
Let something go wrong and the Pha­ passed up. So, the Phagocytes staud to be inexhaustible. The result la that
gocytes are there in a jiffv , foot, horso arouad with their hands in their [took- barren wastes o f volcanic ash ana
and dragoons, putting up a fight that ets for a while and send out scouting sagebrush are giviug way to thriving
makes the heroic memory of the Tro­ expeditions. Still, they find nothing orchards, and alfalfa and gardeu
jans pale into cowardly insignificance. and they start back to the battlefield fields o f prolific production. The soil
Every day the Phagocytes have their they’ve left so recently, only to find is remarkably fertile and produces
rounds to make aud their fights to all the enemy dead and littering the heavily when the acience of irrigation
fight, brief, haml to band and eye-to- field. So, we reckon, the Phagocytes it applied.
The underground lake which has been
eye »ncounters with hostile bacilli, and swallow* their disappoint»nent some
somt times there are general alarms aud how, cord up the deceased and start out the means o f this remarkable change
fierce, long conflicts with a determined on a humdrum existence of peace. is located in an ancient course o f the
The Columbia has
enemy. That's when we start in fool­ That, friends, is what we call fooling Columbia River.
performed some strange feats in her
the Phagocytes.
ing the Phagocytes.
There is something human about this day, and this is one of the strangest of
Let us say that we have a cold in
the head. A lot of hostile bacilli am business o f making false alarms for them all. The lake ia several miles
encamped in the sensitive membranes the Phagocytes to answer. A good in exteut and crops out in various
up there, having the unlawful time of many of us spend part o f our time places throughout Grant County. These
their lives, rioting joyously in the mis­ fighting for folks who don't appreciate visible portions o f this immense body of
ery they are dealing to us. But, they the sacrifices we make or the love w.< water are known as Moses I-ake, Brook
have forgotten in their unholy mirth bring to them. We are all o f ns, if 1-ake, Bound Lake, Blaek Rock Lakes
the army of the Phagocytes. These in­ our hearts are clean, o f the spirit o f and Willow Lakes, and they form the
trepid organisms need no formal call Don Quixote, after all is said and done. outer rim of an area about 40 miles
to battle, no definite declaration of We are like the Phagocytes, useful usu­ long and 20 miles wide.
One settler who lives in the inter­
war, no official proclamation before ally and sometimes foolish aud in the
they cross the border into the territory way. When we are in the way—well, vening country carried his water in
o f the enemy. Upstairs they rush, all then there is some sort of a mustard ap­ barrels for three years, hauling them a
plication to call us to other scenes. distance of 16 miles. He never thought
hands to breakfast!
Soon, there is a fight in progress. There are many human Phagocytes and o f digging a well because the countrv
looked so much like a desert that he
No, not “ soon.” but immediately. The every day the«« are being fooled.
never dreamed o f finding such a thing
bacilli o f the cold, base despoilers that
as water beneath the surface. But one
they are. grapple with the Phagocytes.
■lay he was induced to dig a well, and
Why shouldn't they! Even a rat will
lie struck an abundant supply o f water
fight, once h e’s cornered. The little
at 40 feet. This caused a furore. One
devils o f the cold must fight or be de­
stroyed. So. there is a battle that is a
The use o f modern methods for lay­ settler after another begin sinking a
battle and the arena— which we are_ ing out frontier lines in the colon­ wpll, and every time that this was
done water was encountered. The re­
rings and resounds and has trouble
ies is well brought out in the work sult is that today the entire country
a plenty with consonants and vowels.
Then, when the ravages o f war become which is being done in the Congo is dotted with wells, and many pump­
too much to bear, we start in to fool region. Aceording to a recent treaty, ing plants have been installed, irrigat­
ing from 10 to 4,000 acres each.
the Phagocytes.
France ceded a certain amount of ter­
Discovery o f water caused a rush,
Yon see. we know that the Phago­ ritory in Africa to Germany in ex­
and practically all available land has
cytes are in the blood and blood is change for concessions in Morocco,
been taken np under the homestead of
what we do not want up there in the
desert act. Much of this laud ia now
so
that
this
led
to
expeditions
on
war district. Rather, we would starve
being ¡»laced on the market by com
out the enemy. We prefer to wage a the part of both countries in order to
panics that have become heavily in
Fabian campaign, to make cunctatory fix the boundary lines. Captain Peri-
terested in the district, and the eoun
war. But the Phagocytes— first-class quut states that wireless telegraphy
try is being rapidly developed. Wen
fighting men, they—cannot understand
will be used for the first time on a atchee capitalists have invested $4,000,-
military delay of any sort. They en­
000 in the Moses Lake country and are
jo y Light-Brigade charges, forlorn large scale so as to determine lati­
now improving their land by sett ng it
hopes, dashing maneuvers, bnt the prin tudes exactly. Wireless stations now
out to commercial orchards. The or­
eiples o f scientific warfare are to them exist in the French possessions, also
chards that have already been devel­
a closed book. No, there's no use in in Cameroon and Belgian Congo, and
oped In the Moses Lake district yield
reasoning with the Phagocytes. There
all these are to be utilized by the as heavily as those o f Wenatchee, it
they are, in deadly embrace with the
They will carry im­ ia said, and the fruit produced is
bacilli o f the cold, knee-deep in gore expeditions.
shipped through the Wenatchee Fruit
and impregnated with the lust of proved kites for mounting the an­
Growers Association.
slaughter. They wouldn’t come down tennae wires, also the necessary wire­
One company, Ilallett Bros., main­
and quit any more than a bulldog will less posti.
For taking the latitude taining offices at 106 Pike St., Seattle,
let go as long—aye. and longer—as he
has recently published a handsome
can know and feel anything. The Pha­ they use prism astrolabes which give
These measure­ booklet descriptive o f the district, and
gocytes are enlisted for the war; they very close results.
the Great Northern Railrond is also
intend \n fight it out on this line if it ments will be combined with plans
drawn up on the spot by the alibade, sending out considerable information
takes all summer.
regarding it.
So, we, for whom the Phagocytes are this latter being used especially for
the
important
points.
Once
in
pos­
doing yoeman service, fool them. We
put on our other end a mustard plas session o f the data, they will draw
ter. We put the counter-irritant on up a map o f the frontier region oiwas
the calves of our legs and we put our large a scale as possible. Other sci­
feet in mustard water, sizzling hot. entific work will be done at the same
time, which is likely to be valuable,
Ouch!
IRAM M AXIM , the man who
This false alarm is soon received by scch as hydrography, orography, ques­
invented an instrument that
makes the discharge of fire­
the Phagocytes, engaged in unrelent­ tions of population, botanical and eth­
ing, savage, quarterless war 'way np nological research, terrestrial magne­
arms practically inamlible, has
there above the equator.
One can tism *and the like.
announced that he has a machine with
imagine the little soldiers taking coun­
which be expects to make cities noise­
sel among themselves:
less. “ The device will shed silence as
“ Yes, we have a very fine scrap on
a lamp sheds light,” he is quoted as
our hands here right now and i t ’s get­
having said. It is stated that tho
ting better all the time, but there must
Maxim silencer can be placed between
be something fierce coming o ff down
the source o f noise and the persons a f­
toward the south. At that, w e ’ll have
fected by it and absorb all racket.
People who like to sleep late of morn­
ings may buy one of Maxim’s inven­
tions and put it in their windows, thus
F o r S a le o r T r a d e
$1.50 an acre per month buys
defying the milk man and the early
o n T e r m s t o S u it
10-acre farm, that will make
street cars.
One o f the most profitable, full bearing
•
•
•
you independent for life.
apple orchards in the Hood River district.
Owner not practical farmer; anxious to dis-
Hollow Horn Bear o f South Dakota,
Located in Motet Lake Valley,
poae: price reasonable; terms to suit; sale or
an Indian chief, wants to present
east of famoua Wenatchee
trade. Property includes 6 acres 17-year-old
trees; 8 acres 8-yearoki trees: 16 acres 7-year-
Woodrow Wilson with a peace pipe on
diatrict.
old trees; 6 acres pasture; 20-inch water right.
the day o f bis inauguration, as a fea­
6 room house, barn, apple house, span of
For
illuitrated
booklet,
addresa
mules: one 3-year-old mare; one Jersey cow;
ture of that ceremonial occasion. If
100 chickens; wagron, hack, bu^gy. gasoline
the president-elect will allow Hollow
sprayer and inumerable farm implements.
Also 21 shares of stock in Hood River Apple
Horn Bear to present the pipe, a dele­
Growers Union.
gation of chieftains will journey to
Write immediately for terms and particu­
D ep t. M
1 0 6 P i k e S t.
lars. This fs absolutely a snap and a money­
Washington and will invest tho giving
making proposition.
with tribal ceremony.
S
E
A
T
T
L
E
, W ASH.
h a r r y M c A l l i s t e r
W
T
speakers should know the Bible, He
•ays that men win» s|»cak with telltug
force are those "w h o are able to give
illustrations from Holy Writ, who are
familiar with the stories of Holy Writ
and who can tell them to their audi
cures. ’ 1
a s s
a strike. The eutire towu ia interested
Indeinml Is on strike against lha fed
eral government. Fit;* several years
the Inhabitants have men petitioning
for a road through t ie mountains to
the nearest Swiss towns, so that It
would not be uecessaty, as at present,
to cross the frontier Into Italy for pro
vlaions,
A campaign of passive re
sietanee was inaugurated to emphasis«
the grievances of tho village. «The
towu officials have resigned aud there
is none to enforce the laws or to rot
lert taxes. No one will become a can
didate for offiee.
,
« s s
concealed, la also a felony. The carry-
lug o f any firearm, such aa a shotgun
or a rifle, in any publlg place by any
person not a citizen of tho Uaited
States ia also made a felony.
• • •
To “ Rube” Marquard, famous pitcher
fur Now York's team lu tbs National
League, none a most humiliating ex-
periouco in Spokane tho uther day.
Marquard, who ia traveling about the
eouutry doing a vnudeville turn, es­
sayed to catch a baseball thrown from
the Old National Bank building. A
great crowd watched him and laughed
as hn missed two balls, Marquard,
made peevish, offered f50 to anybody
In the throng who could do the trick.
Hie offer was accepted by W. K. Crow­
foot, a photographer, who caught the
first ball thrown.
Marquard mads
good his promise and disappeared, fo l­
lowed by the bools of the crowd.
« « «
In Chicago threq policemen attempted
to break up a ball to which they bad
beeu denied admittance. The officers,
with half a dozen citizens whom they
enlisted iu their cause, were ejected
from tho hall with much diiuiage, after
a not in which shots were fired by tho
blucconta.
The officers lost their
stars, also.
The legislature of Nevada baa put
s s s
the Kenu divorce market out of bust
The assembly of
Here's a fine rase of freak legisla ness, practically.
tiou and it isn't from Oklahoma, either: law makers has [»atsed aa amendment
A bill has been introduced in the Mis to the divorce laws making one year’s
soiiri legislature prohibiting women residence iu the state eompiilsorjr upon
weariug »tresses that button up tho |>erBous wishing to obtain divorces, in
bach, unless the buttous be as largo as stead o f six months, the law's p esent
It is now considered certain that
silver dollars. The bill provides a fine requirement. Business men of Reno
Oregon will not have a “ Blue Sunday”
of from $1 to #3. with a fine for per­ objected to the amendment and main
law. A bill proposing to close on the
tamed a lobby to work against it.
sistent offenders.
seventh day all amusements, such as
«
«
«
• • •
theaters and baseball |>arks, has been
Patrolman Iloleouib, of San Diego, killed by the state legislature.
Tho congregation of a church on
•
•
Long Island is engaged in a war of may lose an arm, aa the result of be
words concerning the pronunciation of ing hitteu by a girl. He arresteil her on
John A. Hogg, of Vancouver, Wash.,
“ Jerusalem.”
A young lady soloist, a charge of disorderly conduct and she braced himself with a poker, which
singing “ The Holy C ity,” made it bit his hand. He paid no attention to he rested against a rook stove, while
“ Jer-u-see lum. ”
Rev. Charles E. the wound, which has become infected. he turned on an elertrie light. Hie
Gregg was shocked at this. Htraight-
• • s
bend was severely burned by the elec-
way, he wrote a letter to tho singer,
California may have one of the most trie current. He was held a prisoner
upbraiding her for her pronunciation.
severe “ gun carrying” laws in the a moment, but broke the connection
Ho declared that the syllable “ sa”
country, if the bill introduced by As­ by throwing hie whole weight onto
should be pronounced “ s«r” or “ sar.”
semblyman Ambrose of Los Angeles lie the light fixture.
The congregation took up the question. comes a law. He would mako tho car­
• • •
Dictioraries helped little and i t ’s bo
rying o f a concreted pistol a felouy, as
Massachusetts socialists defend the
ing fought out yet.
well as the carrying of a black jack, red flag, their party's emblem, by
billy or a pair o f brass knuckles. Tho saying that It li the “ flag of hu­
In Switzerland a village has gone on carrying of any other sort of weapon, manity and the flag of |>eaee.M
Surveying the Congo
Looking It Over
H
c r ìi ROUGH THE MAILO
VOl-fi 0 C a
W e want you and each member o f your
8 .
a
■a
3
f n r n i l v to drink a cup o f the Beat Coffee ever root ted
since the Arabians discovered this King o f
food beverages
The most expensive modern roeate'a operated by skilled coffee experts are preparing in
Portland a coffee that should be on your table.
The goodness, the rich aroma of the best berries. Is kept in the roasted grain. By a process
that has been perfected recently, it is possible to serve in the cup the stimulating coffee essence
that Nature planned for the benefit of man.
The coffee berry is ground, but still retains the strength that makes it the cheering,
stimulating cup that quickstepa a man toward his daily duties in the morning and brings
comfort to his after-dinner rest.
W e know that you are anxious to know the name o f this Coffee
Write your name on the coupon in the corner, and mail it right now hr form you forgot it.
Fill in the number of persons in your family, and by raturn mail we will send you, postpaid,
without any expense to younolf, a cup of coffoo for oach and every one o f you.
Of course we will also send you the name of the coffee.
If you want to ticUo your potato and maho your otomach
happy, fill out the coupon at once and send to
Land
Opportunity
HALLETT BROS.
Chanter .f C m m t u BU,
*
P.rtkaJ, OrtfM
#
C
Straight Results, Coffee D ept
CENTLEMEN:
Inter-State Publishing Co.
Failing Building
Kindly mail me
FREE of CHARGE
and post-paid a cup of
Coder for a family o f.
persons
Name
%
PORTIAND, OREGON
Address
*
President Taft believes that public
The Bread and Butter Question: Thick and Thin D on yt Win a M eal
S a y
tw in
, o l d
• SWotVT , I've CrOT
!
A SCHEM E t h a t
't 'h - L L A N D U S
A S Q U A R E MEAL
well
Go
By
E /ANSON
D own
TO S o t SMITHS
F00P FACTO RY
1 awd
s e t him
F o u r D o
lla r s
! THAT w e CAN
EAT s i x t e e n
P o u n d o f
S irlo in
9* e * * i,
stea K
om
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