T H F TRIBUNE, TURNER, OREGON
W hoW ants to be Bald?
World Events Pictured
HAPPENINGS EVERYW HERE AND PERSONS
• • • OF NOTE AS SEEN BY THE CAMERA • • •
Movie Studio Fire in Which Ten Perished
and
I f CEOBCE D O M E V. Pk- D , LL. 0 .
Rum
» ............................................................. . n
How and Why Bodies Fosailixe
F O R E 3 IC H T
lla waa Halting tha newlyweda at
their home.
Everything was Hoe.
but—
"W hy did you take an apartment
with aucb a tloy kitchenette. Tom. old
boy T"
"W ell, you’re the Orel mao I'va told.
ao keep It quiet it's so small I can't
gst In there to help my wife when
aba's doing the dishes."
Early T a llies
"D o you think a aurceaaful polltl
clan must spend many years In get
ting an education f
"All depends," said Senator Sor
(hum. "on what kind of politics he gets
Into. I know of underworld workers
who appear to have learned more In
(all than they learned to srbooL"—
Washington Star.
A REINCARNATION SURE
Tw» persona were burned lo death and others badly Injured In a Ora that destroyed a movie studio In New
Turk. Thla pit ture of the conflagration was sent by telephoto.
Franklin Memorial Museum in Philadelphia
Friend (referring to new-th-rn lathe)
"Just think, Tom. there's your son
having his drat day of crying." Dad—
can hardly think It la Jim—sounds
to ma Ilka he's bad a lot of practlos
before."
A a ts r c tic
A d v a n ta g e
fonder. In tar Antarctic scan.
Tha ehlp* rapose amid a fr e e s #
And make us envy Icy storm.
While weather prophe aay 'fa ir nnd
warm."
Opinion* Differ
Wlfey
(reading paper)—It’»
a
shame! Simply revolting I Down In
the South Sea Islands a man pays
$20 for a wife I
Hubby Yea. that’s a lot of money,
but If she Is pleasant and good look
ing and a willing worker she might
be worth It.
T he Gaeat T ow els
Architect's aketrh o f the Ilenjnmln Franklin Memorlnt ami Frnnklln Inatltute museum now under construction on
the I'arkway, I’ hllsdelphla. The ultimate coat o f the project Is put at 120,000,000.
Electric Cutter for Coast Guard
HOOVER MEDAL
Hubby— Well, darling, 1 ran that
errand for you today. I bought the
towels and took them to a seamstress
to have the question marks sewed o n
Surprised Wife— What on earth did
you think l asked you to buy*
Hubby— You told me to buy a dozen
guess towels, o f course.—Chicago
Dally News.
MEAN INDEED
"You aay Jack's father Is miser
ably mean!"
“ Yea, he'a ao mean he wouldn't ever
give Jack a liberal education."
First photograph o f the Presidential
medal commemorating the administra
tion o f Herbert Hoover, which haa
Just been cast by tha United Stataa
mint at Philadelphia. The tnednla are
now avallatila for parchas# by the
public.
NEW SENATOR
W h o Has the A n sw e r?
I ask a simple question,
Thla only truth I wish:
Are gli ftshermen liars.
Or do va'.T Hars Geht
Butins»* First
The Officer— When you seen them
dames start Mtin' an' n.dr pullin' why
didn’t you stop ’em an’ not wait till
they near rnurd »red each othert
The Movie Opecutor— Stop 'em I
Why, man, there was a hundred feel
o f him In the camera.
Merely Advisory
Mr. Neversweat —I -an't get out and
noatle up a Job. The doctor’s forbid
den me to work.
Ills Wife— Ferglt Iti The doc s lo t
the business sgeot of your union.
Chaacee Bright
"Ilm I So you wish to marry my
daughter. May I ask. how are your
future ptoepects? Dan you provide
for herF’
“ Yes. absolutely.
I have a very
rich uncle, slxty-tlve years old. who
has lately taken up aviation."
The Itasca, ftrat o f four electric cutters for the coast guard, taking the
filt e r at Oakland, Calif., where It waa built.
Fingernails Painted Red and White
«
J
A
NI.KHH well protected, or In raln-
leaa Pern or F.gypt, or In dry
eavaa. or the cold storage o f Aretlr
lea, or In oil, wax. or amber, tha hotly
soon yields to tha bacteria o f decay
or to the teeth o f wolves and hyenas
For bona or other tissue to be replaced
by mineral whereby It pelrlflee or
"fossilises," many conditions muat he
right. The wiser the animal, tha lean
likelihood o f Its being caught In qalek-
aands or engulfed by tha gravel and
silt o f floods. Primitive mao waa as
I
llttls enamored aa wa are o f being
burled alive.
!
Fossil remains o f the famous Cro-
Magnon man have been found In
Wales, and especially In Franca Puosl
bly earth never saw finer built hun '.r
beings. Ilia brain was 13 per rent
larger than o u rs , his stature taller than
any living race by ta o Inches He was
clean-limbed, lithe, and swift.
He
had a good chin, thick and strong
Jaws. Ills head waa long, bis face
broad. Ila burled his dead. He was an
artist and an artisan. He lived about
23,000 years ago. Did be become an
ordinary European, or did It« dlsap
pear? No one knows.
Reyond Cro-Magnon, our forebears
rather run to brutish taste. Grimaldi
man waa o f the Negroid ty|>e. Neun
derthal man had a huge head, chipped
flint, and burled bis dead. He Is set
down at 30,000 R. C. and left no
known heirs. He la the first known
cave-man.
The Jaw o f Heidelberg man fits a
gorilla, but the teeth are ours. He is
poaslbly 400.000 years old. Plltdown
man is poaslbly a hundred thousand
years Ider. Some think he was an
ape. Some say he waa the flrst Eng
llsbman. We have reached a point in
time where no one knows who’s who.
The champion fossil la Pithecan
thropus ereetus (ape-man erect), dis
covered by Du boll In Java In 1801. He
la certainly a half million years old ;
some say a million. He is more pithe
coid than any known human being,
more anthropoid than any known a|>e.
He waa as erect and almost aa tall
aa the average Europ»rn.
He had
definite!; left the “ well-ventilated ar
boreal tenements." He was a low
browed moron—and may be represent
ed In the living flesh. Rnt whether be
was o f the direct line that led to man,
or only o f a line that ended with
himself. Is not yet definitely known.
It Is enormously significant that, after
a debate lasting more than a quarter
o f a century, the biologists o f the
world cannot decide whether Pithe
canthropus ereetus belongs to the flrst
or the second o f the earth's First
Families. That makes him a pretty
good link that is no longer missing.
U
The Right pla ce
Rill— Do you notice 'hat lady ovei
there?
What a friendly expreaalon
she wears on her face
Hal— Yea. hut -her* else could anr
possibly have It?
To Import monkeys for their sex
glands Is ghastly business, perhaps
the lowest that haa engaged the cupid
ity and lust o f man. but to shoot down
simians aa we do mad dogs or boys In
uniform Is s crime. The four Anthro
poid apes are our next-of-kin-llving,
they should be respected as cousins
and not exterminated aa venuin or
Indiana.
Man was never a gorilla, a chimpan-
see, an orang, or a gibbon. No biol
ogist ever made such a claim Wheth
er these a pee could have deAgoped
Into human beings Is a different story.
They have the makings— all the parts.
If we knew how heredity works and
could control variation, we might
breed from an ape a being that could
dig a ditch, play the piano, talk Eng
lish, and sing the “ Messiah.” We can
teach them to smoke cigarettes, chew-
tobacco, drink beer, wear clothes, and
eat with a knife and fork. We do not
yet know tha limit o f their capacity
to learn human ways.
Why do xoologlsts put these four
apes so close behind us that we ran
feel their breath and they ran catch
our diseases? Because they are An
thropoid. Nothing has yet surpassed
them I d the race to become human.
Their anategny, embryology, histology,
morphology, paleontology, physiology,
and psychology entitle them to second
place In the Ancient and Honorable
Order o f Firsts.
They vary In their msn-llkeness: no
one Is In all ways closest to man. The
orang looks like an Irishman; the
gorilla la built H*n Jack Dempsey;
the chimpanzee Is the meet angelic;
the delicate gibbon has a lady-like
aknll nnd an upright carriage. The first
three—the Great Apes—are the ex
tremes o f variation from n generalised
ancestor. T
glhbon varies least, and
to that extent is nearest the tree man
climbed down when he decided to
stand up and talk.
Except In teeth, the young female
gorilla la tha most human. Her fa
ther Is a brute In size nnd appear
ance. Only five feet high, he may
weigh over 400 pounds; mostly neck,
cheat, and anna. If his legs were of
human proportions, he would stand
over seven feet high.
The chimpanzee, like the gorilla,
lives In Jungle Africa. Like the goril
la. he has a shuffle along gait, swing
ing his body between his long m u ch
Ilka arms. He haa the gorilla's pro|mr-
tlona, but never the great bulk of
chest. And so Is more at home In the
trace, where he builds his nest, ss
does tha orang. The chimpanzee's
skull Is not unlike the one ape-man
erect tried on when turning Into man
—and gave up because It had too
much Jaw for the teeth required and
«ot enough brain boz for Ideas.
Not many, and when you are
setting that way and loo«ins
hair, which ends in haldm
you want a good remedy that
will stop falling hair, dandruff
and grow hail
hau on the bald I head
BARE-T0-HA1R is what you
want
r*» Sat* at A ll
'W . H. F orst, M igr.
iS .
V«seals May Be Oldar
Than St. Patrick’ s Tima
Boottdalo. Poi
Camara Flalskas Pietava
Invented by a blind man, a earner«
which takes pictures and makes print«
at practically tha same time, haa ap
peared In I-on don. It has two lenaao,
one being lha ordinary earners "eye,"
and the other admitting only ultravio
let rays. Films and paper are Insert
ed together, and wtienaver tha shutter
Is opened a secret "gas’’ Is released
from a small cylinder to develop, fig
and print the exposures. When tha
spool la removed the photographs are
unwound at the tame time.
An Interesting archeological discov
ery waa made by man Hearing ao old
ditch at Mornlngton. county Louth,
Ireland, a village at tha mouth of tha
Boyne.
Mornlngton Is connected by tradition
with Ht. Patrick, who In 432, after un
successful efforts to effect a landing
in other parts o f Ireland, entered tha
Boyne there and ran bis vessel Into
what was then known as the harbor at
Colpa, now called Colp.
In a ditch Into which within living
Accidentally an Arkansas lady cured
memory the Boyne used to flow. form
(Its In a valuable dog with Russ Ball
ing a natural harbor, workmen un
Blue. Many others now ose U. New
earthed the timbers ot several oaken
er falls, she says.—Adv.
veesela lying at an angle to the stream
and apparently o f Treat age.
The
M echanical Victim
length o f the vessels cannot be ascer
Raid to play with an uncanny hu
tained until after further ezcaratlona.
man touch, a mechanical violin haa
The feet that sandy soil will pre
been Invented by two engineers In
serve ouk for thousands o f years opens
France.
It haa a number o f keys
up the poeslhlllty that the vessels may
which press lha strings like the left
be even older than 8L Patrick's time.
hand of a player, and a revolving bow
Steps have been taken to protect them
which penults different degrees of
until they have been seen by an arch
pressure. The violin Is driven by two
•ologlcai expert.
motors. One take* the place o f th*
player’s arm and the ether Impart*
Smper Talk
the swift movements of the w rist
Peggy Udell, the Follies girl who
la going to eider a convent, criticized
the movies at a night clufi.
“ The movies." she said, "are enough
to send any girl Into a convent All
this super talk 1 Every film Is a super-
film nowadays. A man said to me the
other night:
" 'I don't see any difference at all
between a film and a super-film.’
“ "The more fool yon, then,' said L
'At a super-film the prices are dou
b a l l Mandos C*
ble.’ "
D#«t- M
IMS Ma. W«S* Sc.
Smbstamce sad Shadow
b o l l i N*Trfa* ¡9
It waa a saying o f Demetrius Pha-
lerus, that “ Man having often aban
K O E N I G ’S N E R V I N E
doned what was visible for the sake
o f what was uncertain, have not got
what they expected, and have lost
what they bad—being unfortunate by
an enigmatical sort o f calamity."—
Athenaeus (circa A. D. 200.). “The
Deipnoaophists."
FLO HESTON SH A M P O O —M«ml to» m s to
connection *u k Parkert Hoir Balsam. Sfskntha
hair eoft and fluff» SI cent* by mail or at <tn*-
mat*. iliacos Chamico! Works, PMckogoa, 5 . T.
D r. Barmardo H o m o Busy
Called “ the largest family In the
World," the Doctor Barnardo's homes,
a charitable organlzaton In Great Brit
ain for children and young people, now
has more than 8.000 In the homes
throughout the empire. An average of
five are being admitted dally, and 18,-
003 cases were handled last year.
He’ d Bo a Zero
“What is your objection to having a
husband and wife on the same Jury?"
asked the Judge.
“ It's Just the same as having a Jury
o f only eleven members, your honor,"
replied the lawyer for the defense.
Forkiddoa Frail
Dame Plalnsmitb— Don't you think
H horrid o f the selectmen to forbid •
man to kiss hit wife on Sunday?
Dame Fish— It’s all right. Now |
that it's against the law the men will
slip us many a contraband kiss.
Service sad Success
“ Nine-tenths o f my success," says
Albert Kahn, skyscraper builder. In
the American Magazine, “ has come
because I listened to what people said
they wanted and gave It to them."
la tha hone*,
or cut quickly
scars. At all good
* 0 c s a d I k . or J. W. Cola Co..
IlL—Advertisement.
HANFORD’S
Balsam of Myrrh
A H ea lin g A n tisep tic
S a v e $ 1 p er H a
" ffU I K U S " by
X «.
1930
be made anytime you direct. W him Leg
horn* and *11 Heavy Breed*; also W . L
pullets, yearling hens, day-old turkeys —
all o t edebraed Q . H . quality. 2 0 yean*
reputation lor lair drrnlmg
I J a y TmXdJ
Basanas* in S a if P ity
Self pity la a most degrading habit.
There U no sense in staging a funeral
over a failure. Life'« greatest lesson
Is learned when wc honestly acknowl
edge' our faults aa we make them.
Then we will blame ourselves and
give our pity to others.—Grit.
We like a grouchy man If he’a wit
ty ; but that, he baa to be.
A d d e d In ter# »*
“ Van Sponger claims to have a
great following.”
“ Well, 1 think he must have— he
owes everybody." — New Bedford
Standard.
THAT
S a g a r f o r C andy
A pinch o f cornstarch or flour mixed
Into the sugar when making candy
will usually prevent curdling. The
a d d In the brown sugar Is responsible
tor the curdling.
HALE’S HONEY
C ities’ M aay B ridges
In tta course of seven miles through
the city o f Paris the Seine Is crossed
by thirty-two bridge«. In London there
are twenty bridges across the Thames.
H as M aay M eanings
While It may not have the most
Varied meanings, the word "set" ranks
among words with many meanings
and uses.
F ar AU tha W orld
"Sportsmanship,” says Charlie Pad-
dock. In the American Magazine,
"knowa no nationality. It la to ba
found wherever men play together."
Many find Rnsa Ball Blue good tonic
tor chickens. Large package at Gre
carsi—Adv.
A politician la a man who has ac
quired the art o f earning a living
without earning It
Sorrow la knowledge.—Byron.
W. N. U , PORTLAND, NO. S2-1M*.
(A b r O w n « A. D or*** )
Patrick J. Sullivan, the Republican
national committeeman from Wyom
ing, who was appointed by Gov. Frank
C Emerson to succeed the late Fran
d s R. Warren. Rnlllvan will serve un
til a successor la chosen at a special
election.
The lutest fnd among aninrt women In New fo r k la to hnve their Unger
dnlla painted dHrk red nnd white. The striking effect Is seen In this Photo
•rapt).
«
Porcelain Chimes Success
The porcelain chimes made In the
city o f Meissen, Saxony, nnd placed
In the belfry o f *ha civic church, are
snld to hnve a tone ns full nnd round
aa that o f mctnl bclla nnd In some
ways even more pleasing.—Providence
Journal
Dad W e s t A long
"This la going lo be a quiet party .“
"1 thought we had a snappy chap
erone.”
“T oo snappy. When she called on
dad to see If I could attend, be de
cided to go. too."
Usaal Engine Knack
Driver of Old Car (after roadside
halt)—You don’t notice that knock In
the engine so much now. do yon?
Friend—Na How did you tlx It?
Driver—Oh, I lust loosened one ot
the mudguards.
Inm an*» O c u a Umars
There are steamers on the Atlnntlr
engaged In a heavy tourist traffic
which are so large that If placed on
end and stood up they would rise
more than 200 feet higher than the
Woolwortb skyscraper In New York
city.
V e g e ta b le Milk
In 8outh America there are some
trees known as “ cow trees," which,
when pierced, jield a rich, milky, nu
tritious Juice In such abundance ns to
render It an Important article o f food
Within tha
Reach o f AU
C l BAK. healthy skin and soft, lustrous
hair are Tour best sssets. They are so easy
to lose through neglect, yet so easy to re
tain if you will only use Cuticura Prep
arations every day. The Soap cleanses,
the Oiurment heils snd the Talcum im
ports a pleasing fragrance.
Soap 21c. Ointment 21c. snd 10c Talcom 2 k .
Sample each free.
AJUm: -Coticura. Depc «7. Molaea. Mae*.