\
T IIE T R IB U N E . T U R N E R . O R E G O N
Butter'Brings
Higher Prices
NERVOUSNESS
Halpdull. I m M «llh TM*
H O W T O LIVE
LONGER
I Nwrlh In III« frani liscili u f N ip p li
A r « , NnrVuiM Ill'll*««»In ti ftn l N fT V u ip
liritAl>ill|> . A**...!«» All (IV«r liM S' m M
Bv JOHN C L A R E N C E F U N K
A T A l l IlM I ( j H l l i M V I
( l i M f w i i 9 I I * 1C Hfti’ iple
l l o i l l « U ra l OU liM iu ie l
Row«* j j ^
M
4 ».
KOENIG' S NERVINE
Smooth Troo Dangerous
When Lightning Rages
H iiumi II i harked I reca served ■■ fatal
riHwla for thouauiida of bird« near HI
Churl««, Mo., whvn they were churgt-d
Willi electricity during n «(orili ln«l
August, l>r. Wllllmn II. Wilson, orlili li
ologlst, «III («II (h « l)nlt«il Htut«* lie
parimeli! of Agriculture In • report
which hr 1« preparimi. Moro (him
A,ODO (lead bird« wert r«(Mir(«d to have
been found on ■ farm « «bori distance
from M(. Churl««, nini mor« limn l.UH
on uue(her fnini, following III« «torni
" I Inn« never h«urd of « ru»« of thin
kind liefur*," lioclor Wllnon «uhi, “ unii
It muy not huppon aguln In a tliouauini
year», but I believe (hut ll la north rv
porting to foderai rxtierf«. In my opln
Ion only hlrda ronallng on aiiiootli
burked (rv«u w «r* killed wheii un
uuuul atmospheric condition« charged
Ilia tre«« with electrlrlly. I believe
that lid» kind o f ire« 1« a conducted
o f electrlrlly during a «torni because
water rannol he absorbed, uiuklng tin
tree attractive to tlie rloetrlrul charge
The charge waa not al rung enough 1 «
kill any but the auinlleat bird», how
aver, since no large ouea were found
to have been vidima."
Ruas Itali Itine, I want. Inalat, don't
accept substitute«. Grocers sell m a »
to coast.— Adv.
In Too Groat Hurry to
Forge Marital Chains
The pale, nervous looking man was
applying for a J >b.
**l think I shall be able to ault all
your requirements. sir," he said.
The manager aliook hla bead.
“ I'm afraid I cannot lake you,” he
replied. "You ace. I'm wunllng a sin
gle man."
A look o f horror appeared on the
other's face.
“ It but, good gracious,” ha atnm
me red, “ when I came here yesterday
I waa told you were looking for a
married man I”
“ I’m aorry," «aid the manager. “ It
intuit have lieen a mistake.”
The applicant stepped forward and
clutched him by the arm.
“ Look here,” he gasped. “ It's all
very well for you to talk Ilka Mini-
but what nin I to dot You see. I
went straight out and got married!*'
T e le 's r a r k e l le a lr e Q e lr k t r
l l r l lr .e e
sad heal« burning. Itching »ml torturiti«
•kin diseases. It Inelanttr «top« the pela
of bum. Heel« without •• «r». »v «od «ur.
A eg your druaat«t. nr send
to Thn J.
W. Cole Co., Hoc«ford. III., for a pack
age.—Ad vert lee men t.
Not Menual Laborer«
O f the aw Imliorlte inettiliera nf the
Ilritlsh house of common« few Imve
come from the hard laboring rlnase»
they represent tin the contrnry. tl
ties, wealth and profeeelott« are well
repreeetiletl In the mnka of the 1st
I K ir member« of purlin inrnt. Among
them are two humneta, n baronet's
wife who la also a marquis' dnugh
ter, two king's counsellor's, one bank
er, three professors, one clergy man
two solicitors, four retired army of
fleer«, nine lecturer«, fourteen teach
era, one chemist, ten barristers, one
landowner, one Hulvallon army com
mlaaloner and two cartoonists.
P ro s p e r ity
M a s t B e Sh ared
lA't him who expects one class of
society to pro«|>er In the highest de
gree, while the other la In distress, try
whether one side nf Ids face can smile
while the other la pinched.—Thomas
Fuller.
E le c tric «) S ton a Contar
The Chllhowee rldge. In Ihe Orent
Rmnky mountalna of eastern Tenne»
aee. li knnwn aa otte of tlia worsl lo-
c h i Iona In
thè country for fraqueut
and furlous llghlnlng storni».— Provi
dette« Journal.
Dirottai af rubli, Mosti« gdusoMaa,
Sui* a r.<.«.rt**«u
************************ >
U n w is « W is d o m
COMIC yeara ago In a anniII prulrl»
^ town, tulle* from nowliera. Un
radio waa l'sed u giva medicai advlce
In ih » alt-duca of a physlelaii. Timo,
a tifa waa saved.
Indred. ime haa tu go axtremely far
■ way to timi cotn|ilel» lanini Imi now
ndaya. Nevertheleaa. Ihcre ara mauy
foollah tMHipla wlio II l crii 11 y Isolai*
theniceliea wllh Ihelr |>er«onal coti-
celt. For Instancs, a few weeks «g<
a suerexsful huslncaa man aelf dhig
noacd ami (lien ndf Iruated a pliyalcal
conditimi. (Ila funerei look placa Ih*
ol ber day. For all predicai pur ih me»
Ibis anwla» ” wlae” geni Iemali waa
•veli mora laoluted than waa tlia pu
tieni mi III« weelrrn plalna And Mila.
• vrn Ihoiigh hi» lown (H»»»e»»ed fori)
phyaldana and Iwo hospital» I
ll reully la amazlng how many aelf
optulmiuled Individuala wlll. wllh ut
ter cmnplarency. eaaay lo delertnln»
what la alllng lliem and Ihen repalr lo
tha drug alora for a well knnwn rem-
rdy wlilch Ihey Imaglne Itti llielr case
In thla way Ihey oflen Ireal aymptmn»
and lum canaea over to a doctor aftar
Mia trouhla hai liecoma chronlc and
beyotid repalr.
Il la dllltcull to undcratnnd why peo
pia. otherwlae Intelllgetit, wlll con
elude that Ihey are rnpnld» of doctor-
log Ihemaelves wlien Ihey know Ihat
It la only after long yeara of training
and sludy Ihsl |ieraona are llcensed
by thè alala to do work nf Ibis klnd
for them.
Of couraa, It la excellrnl paychology
lo bava a good opinion of mia's ablllty
al all tlmea. (lui generai ahlllty
or any ape-ri tic ahlllty. acarcely Joatl
Dea any perami In concltida (hai wllh
out partlcular educatlon he la capa hi«
of Ireellng dlaeuae.
Don'l display unwlae wisdom wher>
you are III by treailng youreelf. Thal'i
thè phyalclan'a huslueaa.
H A P P E N IN G S E V E R Y W H E R E A N D P E R S O N S
• , , OF N O TE A S SEEN B Y T H E C A M E R A * * *
ru n
COSTLY A F P B O V A L
Toys for U . S. Children From Those of Mexico
C laaaiag Up
young woman attorney wag about
co argue her first case. On that morn
ing she washed her hands live or all
times. Her mother said:
“ Don't be nervous, Marie."
“ I'm not nervous, mother, but these
Judi a have so much to «ay about
coming into court with clean bunds,”
HARD TO FIND
Under Secretary of Kdueatton nf Mexico Jtolaee Saenx showing Ambassador Dwight W. Morrow the present»
made hy the children of Mexico to tie sent to the children of the United State«. The various enriog and toy» were
made for the most part by young Mexicans, who showed great skill In the work.
A ir V iew of Basel, Hom e of International Bank
Willie— Daddy, will you buy me an
X-ray machine?
Father— What In the a-orid do you
want with an X-ray machine?
Willie— To find “ X” In my algebra I
Noa-ESciaacy
“W ell start ■ brand-new govaramentr
T l* th* plan that lurk«
I d «vorr tin » ot dlocontcnu—
And rat It never works
I
<A
IS IS
From th# Back Soot
“ I wish yon would quit driving from
the back seat,” exclaimed Mr. Cbng
gins.
“ All right,” sighed tbe patient »rife
‘ But after that remark, don't expect
me to smile sweetly and give ijm
pa thy when a traffic cop gets you."—
Washington Star.
Soma Escaped
Mr. Jsbbs (In a graveyard)—All
these people buried here bad their
troubles la life, Jane.
Mrs. Jabba—Oh. not all of them—
all of them weren't married, John.
W H A T SHE LOOKED FOR
Thla la the city of Basel, Switzerland, ns seen from an airplane. I (use I has been »elected aa the alte of the Bank
lor International Settlements which la being established under the Young reparations plan.
Winners in 4-H Club Competition
Ü N EY
OP
Williams— “ She Doasta that she's
aot the kind of woman who's always
looking for the latest wrinkle lo
clothes." Thompson—'Tru e enough—
she spend« all her time looking for
the latest wrinkle In her face."
Overwhelming Greatnese
True greatness bid« lb* smaller fry
Be satis fled to win
A corner where they cab “stand by“
And humbly “listen In.“
Daddy’s Tour
Theodore It. I.oreni o f Hitchcock, Blaine county, Okla., and Lola Bailey of
Eugene, I-nne county. Ore., who were declared the outstanding boy and girl
members and leader* o f the 4-H dub* for the year 11120. The cluhs have a
membership of 7S0.0l%. The trophies were awarded at th* club congress In
Chicago by Horse* Mosoa of Massachusetts, the donor.
David Baird, Jr., o f Camden, N. J,
who was appointed by Governor Lar
son of New Jersey to be United States
senator to succeed Walter E. Edge,
who resigned to be ambassador to
France. Mr. Baird it a wealthy lum
ber dealer and the sor of a former
senator. He will hold the office until
the general election which Is to be
held In November, 1930.
Willie— My rno'ber goes to Europe
every summer.
Mary— Where does your daddy gol
Willie— To the post office and the
bank!
M | « l* I I A * n M *
ifc t w »fS i'.T »ia .a
iiiiiMKtion «u h Park-r'* llslr |i*i.»m.
■ir soft and MiilTr- » « rents hr moll nr » I drus,
ist» Ulsoos Chsuural Work*. I sttbuguo. N. I .
,’ fV
Jj "
.1
Balsam of Myrrh
Gengrapnera of Europe are greedy
Interested in tbe reports of two Gee-
man explorers that they have discov
ered In the wilderness of Paraguay g
connecting link between the mighty
Amazon and the rivers which wind M
the Rio de La Plata. Geographer*
long had believed that there wag a
canal or link between tbe two great
rivers o f South America, but thla la
the first definite proof advanced. Tbe
discovery reveals that one tremendous
system of rivers extends from the
mouth o f tbe Amazon, at the equator,
to Buenos Aires, thousands o f miles
below on tbe east coast. A short dis
tance south of the headwaters o f the
Amazon begin tbe rivers which flow
straight aonth to Buenos Alrea. Tbe
new discovery will add 50.0 O miles
of Inland navigation afforded by the
Amazon nnd Ita tributaries.
Russ Ball Blue goes farther, makes
clothes whiter than liquid Blue. Largs
package at Grocers.—Adv.
Nonresident
Little Mary had mysteriously picked
tip an amazing vocabulary of swear
words and slang. Mother had pleaded,
scolded and reasoned. The ultimatum
was leaving borne. “ Why, Mary, dad
dy and mother Just can’t have a little
girl here who says such naughty
words. We'U have to torn you out
If you «wear again.”
But again It came. Her hst and
coat were banded her. Resolutely she
walked out and sat on the curb with
her thoughts. Along came a neigh
bor.
“ Good morning, Mary. Is your fa
ther at home?”
“ How In the h—1 do I know. I
don't live there any more!" she said.
— Indianapolis News.
Garfield T ea
Was Your
Grandmother’s Remedy
/5 ^^V
For every stomach
and Intestinal UL
Thla good old-fash-
X i
/¿J
loned herb home
remedy for consti-
patlon. stomach ills
and other derange-
meats o f the sys
tem »o prevalent these days Is In even
greater favor as a family medicine
than In your grandmother’s day.
ASTHMA
af De. J. H. GeBd-« Ora
round. Its pl— o . t smoko
OrtoWstsd to a n h r De. Child. srsrWSw to ( (■■« ■
•r denta twm. S**d fo* ro o t VHM1 r*sk*m *«
a«**raO»s* J.H-OuOdOn.Dwa H . le n t , n
Dr.Guild’sSISVSSSS
S tardy
WEDDED 78 YEARS
Repairing Broken Atlantic Cables
“I recommend a vegetable dlel foi
a few weeks."
“ BuL doc, 1 like meat Nothin*
strong about vegetables.”
“Try garlic."
Face and Reveres
Mrs Plalnmug— Is my gown cut too
low in the back? I can Just feel that
those men behind us are Just starlu«
at me.
Her Husband— Aw, turn around and
■how 'em your face and tbcy'U quit
staring.
G ra n d and G loriou s
Raceptioa
Day
“ Mr. Presldenb I am honored Ir
meeting you.”
“Thank you. sir.”
“ I have no advice to offer you.“
"W on’t you stay for lunch?"
Urban Aga
It la nearly 2.(KM> years since in t
ban settlement was founded on ilo
territory which today Is covered by
Vienna.
The simili Itoman military
camp Vindobona developed Inin Ihe
modern metropolis with her enormous
municipal area ol 2T-VH8 square kli
onielera, second only to London.
“ Pop, what's ■ monolog?”
“ A monolog Is a conversation be
tween husband and wife.”
"1 thought that waa a dialog.*
“ No, a dialog la where two persons
■re speaking.”
When ahe begins having kinds ot
food ane knows he ri(*>» not like II I* a
fair sign the honeymoon la waning.—
Lorn In Journal.
Hanford’s
N o C kanc« to Relax
Next to flmlln' a wadded paper
dollar In Mie I oh |Mu-ket ol an ole pah
o' trouser», I doubt If there's a grand
er feelln In the world Minn hitvlr' »
Une. well-established son.— Ah« Mnrth
In Farm nnd Fireside
Sura Sign
TORFSTON SHAMPOO-I(Irai HW «s* m
For External Use Only
Mr. Bowser—I’m sorry, but It’a Im
possible for me to give you three
weeks' vacation at the present time.
Bookkeeper—Then,
perhaps, you
could give me a little advance pay so
that I can send my wife away. I must
have some rest
M oaelog
Ä ^ IA N D T A R
A Household Remedy
Nation’s Airports
There are 834 airports In the United
States, with an additional l.OFCT la
process o f construction. While soma
of these are only landing fields, them
are others which are equipped wltl
runways, flood lights, hangars, hoteli
and weather bureaus.
Ochers of Importance
aa Coloring Material
TO-NIGHT
A horns
remedy of I
tested and
fried ln>
grrdlenta, '
GETS EDGE’S SEAT
S o l « . N o w o e * p # ( U u lo u .i
Nature now nnd then has a way ot
producing something In the natural
stale which la highly useful In n work
1 Beadasky, billons, eeastlpaUdf ,
never conleinplaled In the normal
1 Tsks M M ATUas-s I M U T -
activities of nnture.
F tonight. This mild, safs, v*g*to-
Take the case of faints— the vari
F bla r.msdy will bars you foaling
ous ochers. which are used so widely
! line by morning. Yon'II enjoy
In producing colors varying from yel
1 fra*, thorough how*l nrtion wlth-
F not tha nlightnat alga of griping
low to -eddlah brown.
These nat
I « » dlMomfort.
ural mineral pighieim arc mined In
Safe. m
ild. Sural, iM a . H r -
several atalea, notably Georgia. Iowa
al dragai IS. only > »*
and Vermont. They are composed ol
im
U K s A M tLUOM . TAMM
dnya which hnve no n colored hy Ihe
presence ol Iron. In the form of
hydrated ferric oxide.
TOMORROW ALRIGHT
Not only are the other* used In
AflRNTH. RcUntlfle
quickly h*al« palnta. hut also In linoleums and oil
Rrwma, Ringworm, T»tl*r. ftrhlnf
•lo. FKER m AMIM.B. «r «.*n«l »1 for I II« cloths. as well as a coloring for ce
lam. K n ii:x * «‘ I’KNI. i . yn
________ ment, stucco nnd mortar.
The preparation of ocher* la simple,
Fnith *onot<>Hitm la a liny plae*.
J i *« ub *
I'owst lion la h*r». iMd «tamped •nv«|o|>« Involving purely mechanical processes
for |»ravrr «ml T Dlvln« h^Blln« raqulta-
mentA Mnbei Hmlth. Rt t. Ht»llla(«r. Calif. of wnahlng, drying, pulverising and
packing.
The washing la Intended
K\ I b « I I H l v f f o r l l r h l n * o r P r o l m d l n f
piles without hnlfe, «and for fro* trlsl pneh- primarily to rid Ihe ocher o'. sand,
irc , ptescrlptIon 901-A; be convinced, O mmm
■mail atones and other Impurities It
llruff r#u IW.I 41 IS, Pnrtlna»«l. Orr«»N.
also servos, aa well, better In miv
the ocher.
Dairymen everywhere
are making bigger prof*
lta from tbetr butter,
n o w a d a y s . They’re
keeping their product
that Golden June Color,
which brlnga top price*
the year ’round, by us
ing “ Dandelion Butter
Color.” It take« Just
half a teaspoonful to
the gallon of crentn. It's
the roost permeating butter color and
therefore the most economical. It col
ors uniformly and never streakA It’«
purely vegetable, wholesome and
tasteless, and doesn’t color buttermilk.
It meets all State and National Food
Laws. Large bottles nre 35f at all drug
and grocery »tore«. Write for FHEH
HAMIT.K to W ell« and Richardson
Co^ Inc., Burlington, Vermont
Find Link Connecting
South Americwn Rivtri
Let Well Enough Alone
T 18 not a predominating trait Is
human nuture lo be entirely sails
lied with ones looks. K»en the band
M i m e people are somellnie« likely tc
Imagine secretly lliai they would ha
far happier It they could look ilka
some one else.
Consequently numerous foolish peo
ple, particularly aging women, are
drawn to Ihe so called “ plastic sur
gery."
This type of work, so wonderfully
developed In Ihe laise hospllsls during
Ihe World war. he» Ita proper place
lo medical prat-fir«. There ran he no
question abmit that. Today, one Itnda
many brilliant examples nf bull! up
facet which had been ruined hy tils
ease or accident. Indeed, near mlr
arl«e hnve thu* I men la-rfortm-d. How
over, that ll one thing. While face
lifting and fnl removing, for beauty's
•ake. Is quite another mailer.
Just a few weeks ago a young worn
an derided Mini she would like to buy
S different shaped nos«. A plastic
‘ doctor.*’ who waa not a physician at
all. much less a surgeon, promised for
a tidy sunt, lo make her very pretty.
She Is now hn|ielca»ly disfigured
In
her sorrow she la suing ihe “ archl
teet of faces'' for hlg damages. Avail
able records Indirule that literally
thousands of disfigurements have re
suited by resorting lo such practices.
After all. real beauty fluda Its foun
dation In glowing health One can
therefore tie hla own beauty apei-tullst
by developing vim. vigor and vitality
Moreover, proper living hnhlis begun
In ynufh and prralsied throughout life
can defer the onslaughts nf old age.
In any event, as a beauty agent, tha
knife of Ihe self at.vied plastic surgeon
Is usually Ineffective and aoineilmes
dangerous. Slay awny from IL Lei
well enough alone
I*. 8.— Men who are foolish enough
to resort to lids kind of renovating
alsn-fake notice
Ha had gons Into tha library to pat
the thing up to her father and she
was anxiously waiting on tbs from
porch.
“ Well.” aald tha suitor when ha r*.
turned, “ ha asked me bow I was Died
and I told him I had 13,000 In tha
bank.*
“ And what did he aay to that!“
“ He borrowed IL"
a
■L DIZZY?
IALE3
Big g o t C roamoriot Say F o t
Conto W orth o l “ Dandolion
Buttor C olor” I t B o t
In vo tm on t.
A M A. D.
I M * Nu* W e ll« » I
III.
Isstf¿Se»
,,
W it
W orld Events Pictured
Defined
N et Separated From Money
Mr. and Mrs. A. O. Blacknmr ot
Columbus. Ga., who celebrated theli
seventy-eighth wedding anniversary
Several Atlantic cables were broken by the recent earthquake off the
In Columbus, recently. They are nine
New England nnd Newfoundland const. These men aboard the cable ship
ty nine and ninety-eight years old rw
Cyrus Field are engrgod la Uw difficult Look ot bringing up the broken ends
1 spectlvely.
and splicing tlietih
Allan—I auppoaa you kDow Alice
married money.
Ada—O. yea!
They're separated
now, aren’t they?
“ N o; Just she and her husband art
separated.”
effective f ____
Pleasant, sooth-
in g and h ea slin
lin g
g. . E
I x x c c e lla n t f o r
children—«
•QUICK opiates. Successfully
for 65 years. » X
RELIEF used
and 60c sizes.
W N. U., PORTLAND* NO. 50-1*2*.