THE TRIBUNE TURNER, OREGON t “Everyman” Performed on Porch o f a Cathedral FAMILY DOCTOR LEARNED THIS ABOUT CONSTIPATION NEARBY AND YONDER + W if h Humor CHECKM ATE Dr. Caldwell loved people. Ilia year« o f practice convinced him many were ruining their health hy Carrie»« »election o f laxative«. He determined to write a harmle»« pre scription which would art at (lie cause o f constipation, aiul correct it. Today, the prescription he wrote in liW$ is llic world » m ot popular laxative I He prescribed a mixture o f herbs and other pure ingredients now known as Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin, in thousand» o f cases where bad breath, coated tongue, gas, headaches, biliousness and lack o f appetite or energy showed the bowels o f men, women and children were sluggish. It proved successful in even the most obstinate cases; old folks liked it for it never gripes; children liked it* pleasant taste. All drugstores today have Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin in bottles. The stately old aristocrat wsa ap proached somewhat cocklly by a rich and vulgar young man, wuo an nounced : "I aay, sir, I am thinking of marry ing one of yonr girls Hava I your permission 7". “ Tea, Indeed," was the reply. “ Which one Intefeeta yon7 The maid or tba cook F'—Boston Transcript. , Maaa Brut» “ It la terrible the number o f mur ders there are," exclaimed Mrs. j Grouch. "Yeah I" growled her husband, "but with the number of backseat drivers there are It la nothing short o f re mark abl» that tbers are not mors." For the first tlins In th» history o f England, music and drama were presented In a cathedral on th» occasion of th» Canterbury Cathedral festival. I’laya took place outside th« west door end In the chapter house, concerts were held In the neve, serenades In the cloisters, end chamber music In the new chapter house. The photograph •hows the folk dancers dancing befors "Death" during the performance o f the drama “ Everyman" outside the great west door. TH E R E P T ILE By T. T. M A X E Y «H 1 ■ H 1 f ■f—fr ■fr-f - Tks W ellsnd Ship Canal ELLAND canal bus afforded a A W paaaageway between Lake* Brie and Ontario for woll nlgb a hundred years. Tha original Welland was drat tailed to l*2U. It waa 2 7 * ro'lea long. 22 feet wide, 8 feet dee; and eon talned 40 lock«, each 110 feet Iona It waa enlarged, rebuilt and again placed In aervtce to 1848 The pres ent canal, whlcb represent» another X J E V E R wait to see if a headach« atep-up In slza, was opened In 1882. “ ’ will “ wear o ff." W hy »offer The one now building probably will when there’* Bayer A ip irin f T h « be ready for service some time d i r million* o f men and women who log lino, baa been built to dimen use it in increasing quantities everv sions wbtcb It to tboogbt will b# suf year prove that it docs relieve such ficiently large to meet the Increased pain. The medical profession pro size of cargo veaaels plying the Great nounces it without effect on tha l-akts for many years to coma. It will heart, so use it as often as it can be 29 miles long. 80 feet wide. 29 feet spare you any pain. Every druggist deep aod ha vs 7 locks each 800 feet always has genuine Bayer Aspirin long and su feet deep wltb a lift of for the prompt relief o f a headache. 4fl>/fc feet wbtcb will lift or lower paw colds, neuralgia, lumbago, etc. Fa ing vessels tba feet which rep miliarize yourself with the proven resents the’ difference In level be directions in every package. tween (be two lakes. Some 4.1*0 ves sels pass through the present canal annually. Some conception of the magnitude o f the work of constructing the new sblp canal can be gained from the fact that some fiouo.uoo wagon-loads of rock aod fO.000.000 wagon-loads of eartb bad to be excavated, while enough concrete waa used to build a oolld wall 20 feet high, 8 feet thick U m Hanford’» and 100 miles long. The time required to paaa a loaded ÍRFB RPR kul hjfi i»d tí refund votif vessel through the completed canal tor IS« lin t S«ttl« II set aan«4 will approximate 8 boura, ae against 19 to 18'houra with the present canal. 5 « » E »d o f T «e t«» Fly The cost of the completed Job will As th* result of experiments being approach Jioo.ooo.ouo. • • • conducted In the tsetse belt o f Natal, the South African government Is bops- The Los Angeles Aqueduct fnl that an effective means of combat HE L os Angeles aqueduct to "as ing the ravages of tbe deadly tsetse long ts England to «rid«. It goes fly has been at last discovered. A under mountains, through t42 runnels special poison In powdered form baa and crosses a desert as large as 'be been sprayed over donkey« Tbe tsetse state of Massachusetts’ If was bullr fly, when It alights on the animal, to Insure rhe largest city on oar west absorb« the poison through its feet ern coast with a sufficient and ever and d ie « Reports so far received lasting supply of pure water, cost »24,- show that the experiments bavs been 900,000, took five years to build—as successful, giving hope that ou* o f many as flvs thousand men worked ths worst plagues with which tbe on It at a time. Is balled as a spec farmer o f South Africa has to con tacular feat of engineering and meas tend to doomed. ures op to the Job. High op In the Sierra mountains C eavU G ag th » Jek there waa fresh water galora, but M r « Jello—Doctor, to tbers no hop« that was 290 mile« away and th* San for my bnsband? Fernando ralley toy between. Rut Doctor Klllnm— No, I don’t think the need outweighed the handicap your husband will recover, bat to and to work they went. Tha Owens make snr* 111 call In another phyal» river was Upped SDd 290 miles of open and covered canals and massive steel condulU constructed; SI gtant Davis Relic Pv »a»v»d storage reservoirs created along the A letter written In longhand by way—the largest. Halwee. capable of handling 20.000.OW.Ot» gallons an Jefferson Davit, President of tbe Con nually. made available to this City of federacy, to one of tbe valued pos the Saints a dally water supply of ies* long o f the little museum of Bethel college, near Russellville, Ky. The approximately 22fl.1U0.0U0 gallons. The constant movement of such a letter, dated May 19, 1872, expreeae« great quantity of water presented a Davis' thanks to ths Neotrophlan so too-goodto-be-true opportunity for ciety for an honorary membership the development of large quantities conferred upon him. A s p ir in a js^ssfjssjsssr Training for Airplane “Crash” Rescue Work To Avoid Infection Balsam of Myrrh Gladys— “ The reptile I JKw dare he speak of me that w ay!" Maggl«— "Why call biro such a name?" Gladys —"He's a lounge Hurd, that'« why.“ Thea H » Passed On H « passed lb * cop tans a n y 'fu s s. H « passed a load o f bay. B « triad to pa«s a « w e r v lr e bus, Aod than b , passed aw ay. No U t» "P * says ther» will b» a coal elrort- agu by IMO.'* "What*« Ih» ua» of looking for troubl» that far ahsadT" The baseball umplr* who rendar» ■ decision against III» homo team know» what It mean» to b» fricadles« A school for training personnel I d alrplan» "crash" rescue work baa been opened at the naval air station at Washington. Particular emphasis Is laid on rescue» wher» the plane fall* Into the water, subjecting It» occupants to I ha additional haunt of drowning. The photograph »hows a crew simulating the rescue of the occupants of ■ plane which baa "cracked up" and to submerged except for the tell. T O T R Y G RID G AM E German Cruiser Visits San Diego I f wo will scientifically find out mor» about Ilf» on Itila earth, we may l»arn mor» of Ih» Ufo beyond. Caatfoa« "You’ll notice that I’ve written th« address on both sides o f the label for this package." “ Yes; any special reason. madamT" asked the post office clerk. “ Well, I thought It would be in case the label comes off.“ AaGcipaGag tka H »r »a ft»r Mr. Knagg—But, my dear, yon know rd go through Are for you. His W ife—I suppose yon will go through Ore when your time comes and you'll say It was for me because It would be like you to blame a poor widow for i t STEPPED ON TH E CAS WOMAN SICK THREE HEAPS ¿zn of cheap electric power, through tha construction of a string of generating plants located at strategic points. The combined water and power system to one of the largest municipally owned planu of the kind In the world. • • • Helped By Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound •a* sick for LltUo three years after my lu t baby cun*. throe ' " ~ 1 I could hardly walk und could not «ut The King o f Convention Halls United States having devet- T UB oped a nation of gatherings Æ T »hon Id because 1 "-R ^ B wa.» «n ncrtoti». I I V took «even bolt lo» » t '' * i of tho Vegetable -kÇ* Compound *nd ^ R f i,* m lliw JB B Into umk I that nunitmr of bot- tir» of Lydia a H Plnkham's H a n »- J H H | | 11 V n « ' « I h fr "Yea, he knocked hto wife down and pnt his foot on her mouth and she had him arrested.“ “ Under what charge?" "Stepping on the gat.“ and ■ 9 P v j R 5 b S I 1 am f,H' !in,c i “ » 1 B H m K l fino. 1 ha T « a U rg» n« family and do tho work for a ll Tour Compound mad» vat a wall woman, and I baro a happy homo now. I al- •way» try to k u p a bottle of th» Vare •aruyu ta bl« Compound In tho boue* and I tell table everyone about It for 1 know It will ti»lp them. "— M u. H. A. A dams . R. F. Arkaoaaa. ZX 6. Bos t l, Little Rock, Arkansas. Army o f Muster« Pity tti» roor, wild game of this country I tinned on last year'» figures, an army alnioat three time» tlie slxe o f the A. B. V. In the World war to 1 about to move on the rnhblta and deer, ducks, partridge» »ml other game fowle and nnlmala Hunting llcenae» for the 1028 season were Issued to 6.480,000 people, who paid In exceaa of »9,000,000 for the privileges of hunt ing. New Turk etate led with 878.730 licenses and Pennsylvania was second with 817.720. Playiag Along The German cruiser Eindcn shown In the harbor of Sun Diego, Calif., where It stopped on Its training cruise nround the world. The vessel carries more than four hundred officers and men and ha* a speed of 2» knots. Twins Appointed to West Point George Simpson, world's fastest sprinter, has become a member of the Ohio State university football squad. Simpson, a backfleld man, to not without gridiron experience« C O M PLA IN S OF CU BA O S T O # IA FO R Q FOR qu U i IC ck K, H A R M LE S S COMI COMPORT Children Ov fork jur,n«nf-ir .¿ttnea ? No Need for Moro Shyman—Tell me. Wltile, have yon any other slaters? Willie—Huh, you don't need any others. She's made up her mind to marry you. Stage Bu«in««s “Then that Is your farewell tour?" "A ll depends. If It goes well I may sign up next season for a welcome back." Shattered Adage It must bave been the village Idiot Who Invented the adage, "Don’t Jude« other« by yourself." Oneself to th» only person on earth by whom one ran poseí My Judge other».— America« Magatine. It to a noble and a great thing to cover the Memlshea and escuae the fallfnga of a friend.—Booth. A man attem pts audacious tricks. Proceedin g w ltb a cunning «m il», H « th in k « h«'a p layin g p olitico— And p layin g havoc all tba whlla. Sauco for tbo Gooso Porter— Mlsa, yo' train Is coming. Pedantic Passenger—My good man, why do you say “ your train” when you know that the train belongs to the company? Porter— Dunno, miss. Why do yo’ say "inah man” when yo' knows Ah belongs to mah wife?— Pathfinder. Natural Fountain Seepage water from Irrigation en (era a targe pear tree at Hraea Val ley, Calif., and laattee under preesur» four feet up the trunk. The trunk forks at that height and a crack In the fork form* the vent for ■ tree foun tain that 1» attracting much notlc* i T e Finish Ike Jek III» W ife'» Mother—I nearly died laughing at that story you told. Mr. Pester—That sol Listen; I*m goln' to tell yon • few more« T Raymond M. and Leroy M. Anderson, twin sons of Mrs. Laura ,\l. Ander son of Womelsdorf. Pa., who wers appointed hy President Hoover for entrance Into Went Point In 1030. The fnther of the boys, Martin M. Anderson, was killed during the Marne offensive. SHORT ITEMS TO REMEMBER In Ttoltvla all the useful minerals belong originally to the state. Canada's area comprises one third of the land surface of the British em pire. Bunk und Jewelry store* are Install ing secret tear gas systems to foil burglars. The marble quarries at Carrara were first worked hy the Romans nh-nn trt 11. 1*. The moon's sctnal color to brown, astronomers believe. Potatoes were Introduced Into New Kngland from Ireland. Coal has been f o w l 800 miles north of the Arctic circle. The French perfumery Industry to valued at ETtoT.ttoiO.twto * year. United State* naval vessels were the flrst rhlp* to he equipped with electric lie* ts Joseph K. Barlow, an American cttlxen, who haa Just been released from a Cuban prison where he was Incarcerated because of a dispute arising from the alleged seizure of his property on the Island by the Cuban government, has laid his rass befors officials o f tbs Stats depart ment. Traasgr»s«»r*s Penalty Who awsrvea from Innocenc«, who makes divorce of that serena compan ion, a good name, recovers not his lo«s; but walks with sham«, with doubt, with fear, and haply wltb rw mors«.—Wordsworth. Styl» C r»at»d ky D ick »»» Tlis I*olly Vnrden drees, with Its bodies and bouffante skirts made ot flowered rhlnts, was In fashion »hont ISTI» 1» w o* named from • n in 1 - a rh s rg e iin in a '*« Ilu d a s" Don’ t B » Silly “ Did you know your bnsband well before you married him?" asked the caller. “ Yon don't suppose I would have been crazy enough to have married him If 1 had. do you?" snapped Mrs. Grouch. Brisk Trad» Friend (to druggist)—Well, bow’s business today? Pushing, I suppose? Druggist—Yes. I’ ve sold 78 cent« worth of poatage «tamp« and three postals. P s a y aad Clrcwaistaac« The panhandler approached tbe brush business man. “ Sir, my wife It starving." “ Y e « y e « Mine too. Has been for six month« Hasn't loat an ounce. AU nonsense, this dieting." Not From M i«»»»r i "There’s good In everything," the bore was saying. "Well, I don’t want to he around when yon are trying to find It In an ancient ecs." snapped his victim, n» l|*« l»rnk»* ii \ y ; iv and might be said to be suffering from coDventloaitla. a convention hall tor the proper boosing of possible maid- tad m which may descend npon It co discuss or display this, that or the other, became almost a necessity for any self-respecting large city. Con vention balls went up "nearby and yonder" and boas La of having the larg est or the finest were heard. Finally, Atlantic City "took the ball by tbo horns," so to speak, and settled the question, for a time at least, by build ing the most mastodonlc ball on earth. This giant structure covers seven acres, seats 41.000 persona In the main auditorium alona— there ars a host of smuller meeting rooms with capacities ranging from 190 persons up, cost the tidy sum of J15.000.tsi0 and to located directly across the street from the Atlantic ocean, ft holds what la claimed to be the larg est stage tn the world, one of the largest pipe organa over built, a skat ing rink, swimming pool, ballroom capable of accommodating 5,000 per sons and what not. A 13-story building. 900 feet long and 200 feet wide could be boused In the main auditorium; railroad trains can be operated to tbe entrance; auto mobiles can be driven right Into It; the atr In the Interior can be changed »very seven minutes, washed and cooled tn summer and heated In win ter; 200.000 tons of sand were moved to make way for tt and 12,000 tons o f steel, 42.0U0 cubic yards of con crete. 65.000 barrels of cement, 29.01*» tons of sand, 53,000 tons of stone and 10.000.000 brick went Into Its con struction. (jg ill» Wmttra Htmtptvm vslo».» Making Ike Grade “ And I thought my son. Hank, was doing eo well, too." said the dl*ap pointed parent of the youth who failed to graduate. "The teacher told roe only recently that If Hank had only a little more sense he would be a moron."— Pathfinder Magazine. Islands W.I1 Wooded The area of the six Islands of ths Samoan Archipelago belonging to the Uulted States Is 00.000 acre« says the American Tree association. The fo r est area It perhaps 70 per cent of this or 42,500 acre« Virtu» lm p »r«tiv» But what Is liberty without wte doin. and without virtue? It I* the grpt'lc*! o f all possible ev ils; for It 1« ftlh v I pm h » m I m:ii|!nM ‘i \\|?h«*»it Old Sentinel Pas*»« On old .oak tree, called "Madam« de Sevtgne" to honor of tbe French writer, has been cut down at Forges- lea-Eaux. Franc« She mentioned tbs tree in letters written 240 years ago I Hav* Confidanc» la Anrartca Dr. Julius Klein, assistant secretary o f commerce, saya that citizens o f other countries hold more than »7,000,- 000,000 worth of Investments in th« United State« Millions now use Ruse Ball B ln « Makes clothes snowy w h it« Get th« genuine.—Adv. « Safety M ot » After a while a man atop« hoping that people will pay what they ow « him and concentrates on praying for strength not to lend them any mor% —Ohio 8tate Journal. Sometkiag E l.» M “ Do yon honestly believe cigar ashes ■re good for the rugs?” “ Y e « but I can't get my wife to believe It." A S ou r Stom ach In the tame time It takes a dose o f soda to bring a little temporary relief o f gas and sour stomach, Phillip« Milk o f Magnesia has acidity complete ly checked, and tbe digestive organ« all tranqultlzed. One« yon have tried this form of relief yon will cease to worry abont your diet and experience ■ new freedom In eating. This pleasant preparation to Just aa good fo r children, t o « Use It when ever coated tongiM or fetid breath signals need of ■ sweetener. Phyal- clans will tell yon that every spoon ful o f Phillips Milk o f Magnesia neu tralise* many times Its volume In acid. Get tbe gennlne, the name Phillip* 1« Important Imitations do not act tho same I P hillips r M i i k . c ? M r£ n s s !a