THE TRIBUNE TURNER, OREGON
t
“Everyman” Performed on Porch o f a Cathedral
FAMILY DOCTOR
LEARNED THIS ABOUT
CONSTIPATION
NEARBY AND
YONDER
+
W if h
Humor
CHECKM ATE
Dr. Caldwell loved people. Ilia
year« o f practice convinced him
many were ruining their health hy
Carrie»« »election o f laxative«. He
determined to write a harmle»« pre­
scription which would art at (lie
cause o f constipation, aiul correct it.
Today, the prescription he wrote
in liW$ is llic world » m ot popular
laxative I He prescribed a mixture
o f herbs and other pure ingredients
now known as Dr. Caldwell's Syrup
Pepsin, in thousand» o f cases where
bad breath, coated tongue, gas,
headaches, biliousness and lack o f
appetite or energy showed the
bowels o f men, women and children
were sluggish. It proved successful
in even the most obstinate cases;
old folks liked it for it never gripes;
children liked it* pleasant taste.
All drugstores today have Dr.
Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin in bottles.
The stately old aristocrat wsa ap­
proached somewhat cocklly by a rich
and vulgar young man, wuo an­
nounced :
"I aay, sir, I am thinking of marry­
ing one of yonr girls Hava I your
permission 7".
“ Tea, Indeed," was the reply.
“ Which one Intefeeta yon7 The maid
or tba cook F'—Boston Transcript.
,
Maaa Brut»
“ It la terrible the number o f mur­
ders there are," exclaimed
Mrs.
j Grouch.
"Yeah I" growled her husband, "but
with the number of backseat drivers
there are It la nothing short o f re­
mark abl» that tbers are not mors."
For the first tlins In th» history o f England, music and drama were presented In a cathedral on th» occasion
of th» Canterbury Cathedral festival. I’laya took place outside th« west door end In the chapter house, concerts
were held In the neve, serenades In the cloisters, end chamber music In the new chapter house. The photograph
•hows the folk dancers dancing befors "Death" during the performance o f the drama “ Everyman" outside the great
west door.
TH E R E P T ILE
By T. T. M A X E Y
«H 1 ■ H 1 f ■f—fr ■fr-f -
Tks W ellsnd Ship Canal
ELLAND canal bus afforded a
A W paaaageway
between Lake* Brie
and Ontario for woll nlgb a hundred
years.
Tha original Welland was drat
tailed to l*2U. It waa 2 7 * ro'lea long.
22 feet wide, 8 feet dee; and eon
talned 40 lock«, each 110 feet Iona
It waa enlarged, rebuilt and again
placed In aervtce to 1848 The pres­
ent canal, whlcb represent» another
X J E V E R wait to see if a headach«
atep-up In slza, was opened In 1882.
“ ’ will “ wear o ff." W hy »offer
The one now building probably will
when there’* Bayer A ip irin f T h «
be ready for service some time d i r
million* o f men and women who
log lino, baa been built to dimen­
use it in increasing quantities everv
sions wbtcb It to tboogbt will b# suf­
year prove that it docs relieve such
ficiently large to meet the Increased
pain. The medical profession pro­
size of cargo veaaels plying the Great
nounces it without effect on tha
l-akts for many years to coma. It will
heart, so use it as often as it can
be 29 miles long. 80 feet wide. 29 feet
spare you any pain. Every druggist
deep aod ha vs 7 locks each 800 feet
always has genuine Bayer Aspirin
long and su feet deep wltb a lift of
for the prompt relief o f a headache.
4fl>/fc feet wbtcb will lift or lower paw­
colds, neuralgia, lumbago, etc. Fa­
ing vessels tba
feet which rep
miliarize yourself with the proven
resents the’ difference In level be­
directions in every package.
tween (be two lakes. Some 4.1*0 ves­
sels pass through the present canal
annually.
Some conception of the magnitude
o f the work of constructing the new
sblp canal can be gained from the
fact that some fiouo.uoo wagon-loads
of rock aod fO.000.000 wagon-loads of
eartb bad to be excavated, while
enough concrete waa used to build a
oolld wall 20 feet high, 8 feet thick
U m Hanford’»
and 100 miles long.
The time required to paaa a loaded
ÍRFB RPR kul hjfi i»d tí refund votif
vessel through the completed canal
tor IS« lin t S«ttl« II set aan«4
will approximate 8 boura, ae against
19 to 18'houra with the present canal.
5 « » E »d o f T «e t«» Fly
The cost of the completed Job will
As th* result of experiments being
approach Jioo.ooo.ouo.
• • •
conducted In the tsetse belt o f Natal,
the South African government Is bops-
The Los Angeles Aqueduct
fnl that an effective means of combat­
HE L os Angeles aqueduct to "as
ing the ravages of tbe deadly tsetse
long ts England to «rid«. It goes
fly has been at last discovered.
A
under mountains, through t42 runnels
special poison In powdered form baa
and crosses a desert as large as 'be
been sprayed over donkey« Tbe tsetse
state of Massachusetts’ If was bullr
fly, when It alights on the animal,
to Insure rhe largest city on oar west­
absorb« the poison through its feet
ern coast with a sufficient and ever­
and d ie «
Reports so far received
lasting supply of pure water, cost »24,- show that the experiments bavs been
900,000, took five years to build—as successful, giving hope that ou* o f
many as flvs thousand men worked ths worst plagues with which tbe
on It at a time. Is balled as a spec­ farmer o f South Africa has to con­
tacular feat of engineering and meas­ tend to doomed.
ures op to the Job.
High op In the Sierra mountains
C eavU G ag th » Jek
there waa fresh water galora, but
M r « Jello—Doctor, to tbers no hop«
that was 290 mile« away and th* San
for my bnsband?
Fernando ralley toy between. Rut
Doctor Klllnm— No, I don’t think
the need outweighed the handicap
your husband will recover, bat to
and to work they went. Tha Owens
make snr* 111 call In another phyal»
river was Upped SDd 290 miles of
open and covered canals and massive
steel condulU constructed; SI gtant
Davis Relic Pv »a»v»d
storage reservoirs created along the
A letter written In longhand by
way—the largest. Halwee. capable of
handling 20.000.OW.Ot» gallons an­ Jefferson Davit, President of tbe Con­
nually. made available to this City of federacy, to one of tbe valued pos­
the Saints a dally water supply of ies* long o f the little museum of Bethel
college, near Russellville, Ky.
The
approximately 22fl.1U0.0U0 gallons.
The constant movement of such a letter, dated May 19, 1872, expreeae«
great quantity of water presented a Davis' thanks to ths Neotrophlan so­
too-goodto-be-true
opportunity
for ciety for an honorary membership
the development of large quantities conferred upon him.
A s p ir in
a js^ssfjssjsssr
Training for Airplane “Crash” Rescue Work
To Avoid Infection
Balsam of Myrrh
Gladys— “ The reptile I JKw dare he
speak of me that w ay!"
Maggl«—
"Why call biro such a name?" Gladys
—"He's a lounge Hurd, that'« why.“
Thea H » Passed On
H « passed lb * cop tans a n y 'fu s s.
H « passed a load o f bay.
B « triad to pa«s a « w e r v lr e bus,
Aod than b , passed aw ay.
No U t»
"P * says ther» will b» a coal elrort-
agu by IMO.'* "What*« Ih» ua» of
looking for troubl» that far ahsadT"
The baseball umplr* who rendar» ■
decision against III» homo team know»
what It mean» to b» fricadles«
A school for training personnel I d alrplan» "crash" rescue work baa been opened at the naval air station at
Washington. Particular emphasis Is laid on rescue» wher» the plane fall* Into the water, subjecting It» occupants to
I ha additional haunt of drowning. The photograph »hows a crew simulating the rescue of the occupants of ■
plane which baa "cracked up" and to submerged except for the tell.
T O T R Y G RID G AM E
German Cruiser Visits San Diego
I f wo will scientifically find out
mor» about Ilf» on Itila earth, we may
l»arn mor» of Ih» Ufo beyond.
Caatfoa«
"You’ll notice that I’ve written th«
address on both sides o f the label for
this package."
“ Yes; any special reason. madamT"
asked the post office clerk.
“ Well, I thought It would be
in case the label comes off.“
AaGcipaGag tka H »r »a ft»r
Mr. Knagg—But, my dear, yon know
rd go through Are for you.
His W ife—I suppose yon will go
through Ore when your time comes
and you'll say It was for me because
It would be like you to blame a poor
widow for i t
STEPPED ON TH E CAS
WOMAN SICK
THREE HEAPS
¿zn
of cheap electric power, through tha
construction of a string of generating
plants located at strategic points. The
combined water and power system to
one of the largest municipally owned
planu of the kind In the world.
• • •
Helped By Lydia E. Pinkham’s
Vegetable Compound
•a* sick for
LltUo
three years after my lu t baby cun*.
throe
' " ~ 1 I could hardly walk
und could not «ut
The King o f Convention Halls
United States having devet-
T UB
oped
a nation of gatherings
Æ T
»hon Id because 1
"-R ^ B
wa.» «n ncrtoti». I
I V
took «even bolt lo»
» t ''
* i of tho Vegetable
-kÇ* Compound *nd
^ R f
i,* m
lliw
JB B
Into
umk I
that nunitmr of bot-
tir» of Lydia a
H
Plnkham's H a n »-
J H H | | 11 V n « ' « I h
fr
"Yea, he knocked hto wife down
and pnt his foot on her mouth and
she had him arrested.“
“ Under what charge?"
"Stepping on the gat.“
and
■ 9 P v j R 5 b S I 1 am f,H' !in,c i “ » 1
B H m
K l fino. 1 ha T « a U rg»
n«
family and do tho work for a ll Tour
Compound mad» vat a wall woman,
and I baro a happy homo now. I al-
•way» try to k u p a bottle of th» Vare­
•aruyu
ta bl« Compound In tho boue* and I tell
table
everyone about It for 1 know It will
ti»lp them. "— M u. H. A. A dams . R. F.
Arkaoaaa.
ZX 6. Bos t l, Little Rock, Arkansas.
Army o f Muster«
Pity tti» roor, wild game of this
country I tinned on last year'» figures,
an army alnioat three time» tlie slxe
o f the A. B. V. In the World war to 1
about to move on the rnhblta and deer,
ducks, partridge» »ml other game
fowle and nnlmala Hunting llcenae»
for the 1028 season were Issued to
6.480,000 people, who paid In exceaa
of »9,000,000 for the privileges of hunt­
ing. New Turk etate led with 878.730
licenses and Pennsylvania was second
with 817.720.
Playiag Along
The German cruiser Eindcn shown In the harbor of Sun Diego, Calif.,
where It stopped on Its training cruise nround the world. The vessel carries
more than four hundred officers and men and ha* a speed of 2» knots.
Twins Appointed to West Point
George Simpson, world's fastest
sprinter, has become a member of
the Ohio State university football
squad. Simpson, a backfleld man, to
not without gridiron experience«
C O M PLA IN S OF CU BA
O S T O # IA
FO R Q
FOR
qu
U i IC
ck
K,
H A R M LE S S COMI
COMPORT
Children
Ov fork
jur,n«nf-ir
.¿ttnea
?
No Need for Moro
Shyman—Tell me. Wltile, have yon
any other slaters?
Willie—Huh, you don't need any
others. She's made up her mind to
marry you.
Stage Bu«in««s
“Then that Is your farewell tour?"
"A ll depends. If It goes well I may
sign up next season for a welcome
back."
Shattered Adage
It must bave been the village Idiot
Who Invented the adage, "Don’t Jude«
other« by yourself." Oneself to th»
only person on earth by whom one
ran poseí My Judge other».— America«
Magatine.
It to a noble and a great thing to
cover the Memlshea and escuae the
fallfnga of a friend.—Booth.
A man attem pts audacious tricks.
Proceedin g w ltb a cunning «m il»,
H « th in k « h«'a p layin g p olitico—
And p layin g havoc all tba whlla.
Sauco for tbo Gooso
Porter— Mlsa, yo' train Is coming.
Pedantic Passenger—My good man,
why do you say “ your train” when
you know that the train belongs to
the company?
Porter— Dunno, miss. Why do yo’
say "inah man” when yo' knows Ah
belongs to mah wife?— Pathfinder.
Natural Fountain
Seepage water from Irrigation en
(era a targe pear tree at Hraea Val­
ley, Calif., and laattee under preesur»
four feet up the trunk. The trunk
forks at that height and a crack In the
fork form* the vent for ■ tree foun­
tain that 1» attracting much notlc* i
T e Finish Ike Jek
III» W ife'» Mother—I nearly died
laughing at that story you told.
Mr. Pester—That sol Listen; I*m
goln' to tell yon • few more«
T
Raymond M. and Leroy M. Anderson, twin sons of Mrs. Laura ,\l. Ander
son of Womelsdorf. Pa., who wers appointed hy President Hoover for
entrance Into Went Point In 1030. The fnther of the boys, Martin M. Anderson,
was killed during the Marne offensive.
SHORT ITEMS TO REMEMBER
In Ttoltvla all the useful minerals
belong originally to the state.
Canada's area comprises one third
of the land surface of the British em­
pire.
Bunk und Jewelry store* are Install­
ing secret tear gas systems to foil
burglars.
The marble quarries at Carrara
were first worked hy the Romans
nh-nn trt 11. 1*.
The moon's sctnal color to brown,
astronomers believe.
Potatoes were Introduced Into New
Kngland from Ireland.
Coal has been f o w l 800 miles north
of the Arctic circle.
The French perfumery Industry to
valued at ETtoT.ttoiO.twto * year.
United State* naval vessels were the
flrst rhlp* to he equipped with electric
lie* ts
Joseph K. Barlow, an American
cttlxen, who haa Just been released
from a Cuban prison where he was
Incarcerated because of a dispute
arising from the alleged seizure of
his property on the Island by the
Cuban government, has laid his rass
befors officials o f tbs Stats depart­
ment.
Traasgr»s«»r*s Penalty
Who awsrvea from Innocenc«, who
makes divorce of that serena compan­
ion, a good name, recovers not his
lo«s; but walks with sham«, with
doubt, with fear, and haply wltb rw
mors«.—Wordsworth.
Styl» C r»at»d ky D ick »»»
Tlis I*olly Vnrden drees, with Its
bodies and bouffante skirts made ot
flowered rhlnts, was In fashion »hont
ISTI»
1» w o* named from
• n in 1
-
a rh s rg e
iin in a '*« Ilu d a s"
Don’ t B » Silly
“ Did you know your bnsband well
before you married him?" asked the
caller.
“ Yon don't suppose I would have
been crazy enough to have married
him If 1 had. do you?" snapped Mrs.
Grouch.
Brisk Trad»
Friend (to druggist)—Well, bow’s
business today? Pushing, I suppose?
Druggist—Yes. I’ ve sold 78 cent«
worth of poatage «tamp« and three
postals.
P s a y aad Clrcwaistaac«
The panhandler approached tbe
brush business man.
“ Sir, my wife It starving."
“ Y e « y e « Mine too. Has been for
six month« Hasn't loat an ounce. AU
nonsense, this dieting."
Not From M i«»»»r i
"There’s good In everything," the
bore was saying.
"Well, I don’t want to he around
when yon are trying to find It In an
ancient ecs." snapped his victim, n»
l|*« l»rnk»* ii \ y ; iv
and might be said to be suffering from
coDventloaitla. a convention hall tor
the proper boosing of possible maid-
tad m which may descend npon It co
discuss or display this, that or the
other, became almost a necessity for
any self-respecting large city. Con­
vention balls went up "nearby and
yonder" and boas La of having the larg­
est or the finest were heard. Finally,
Atlantic City "took the ball by tbo
horns," so to speak, and settled the
question, for a time at least, by build­
ing the most mastodonlc ball on
earth.
This giant structure covers seven
acres, seats 41.000 persona In the
main auditorium alona— there ars a
host of smuller meeting rooms with
capacities ranging from 190 persons
up, cost the tidy sum of J15.000.tsi0
and to located directly across the
street from the Atlantic ocean, ft
holds what la claimed to be the larg­
est stage tn the world, one of the
largest pipe organa over built, a skat­
ing rink, swimming pool, ballroom
capable of accommodating 5,000 per­
sons and what not.
A 13-story building. 900 feet long
and 200 feet wide could be boused In
the main auditorium; railroad trains
can be operated to tbe entrance; auto­
mobiles can be driven right Into It;
the atr In the Interior can be changed
»very seven minutes, washed and
cooled tn summer and heated In win­
ter; 200.000 tons of sand were moved
to make way for tt and 12,000 tons
o f steel, 42.0U0 cubic yards of con­
crete. 65.000 barrels of cement, 29.01*»
tons of sand, 53,000 tons of stone and
10.000.000 brick went Into Its con­
struction.
(jg ill» Wmttra Htmtptvm vslo».»
Making Ike Grade
“ And I thought my son. Hank, was
doing eo well, too." said the dl*ap
pointed parent of the youth who failed
to graduate. "The teacher told roe
only recently that If Hank had only
a little more sense he would be a
moron."— Pathfinder Magazine.
Islands W.I1 Wooded
The area of the six Islands of ths
Samoan Archipelago belonging to the
Uulted States Is 00.000 acre« says the
American Tree association. The fo r
est area It perhaps 70 per cent of this
or 42,500 acre«
Virtu» lm p »r«tiv»
But what Is liberty without wte
doin. and without virtue? It I* the
grpt'lc*! o f all possible ev ils; for It
1« ftlh
v I pm
h » m I
m:ii|!nM
‘i
\\|?h«*»it
Old Sentinel Pas*»«
On old .oak tree, called "Madam«
de Sevtgne" to honor of tbe French
writer, has been cut down at Forges-
lea-Eaux. Franc« She mentioned tbs
tree in letters written 240 years ago I
Hav* Confidanc» la Anrartca
Dr. Julius Klein, assistant secretary
o f commerce, saya that citizens o f
other countries hold more than »7,000,-
000,000 worth of Investments in th«
United State«
Millions now use Ruse Ball B ln «
Makes clothes snowy w h it« Get th«
genuine.—Adv.
«
Safety M ot »
After a while a man atop« hoping
that people will pay what they ow «
him and concentrates on praying for
strength not to lend them any mor%
—Ohio 8tate Journal.
Sometkiag E l.»
M
“ Do yon honestly believe cigar ashes
■re good for the rugs?” “ Y e « but I
can't get my wife to believe It."
A S ou r
Stom ach
In the tame time It takes a dose o f
soda to bring a little temporary relief
o f gas and sour stomach, Phillip«
Milk o f Magnesia has acidity complete­
ly checked, and tbe digestive organ«
all tranqultlzed. One« yon have tried
this form of relief yon will cease to
worry abont your diet and experience
■ new freedom In eating.
This pleasant preparation to Just aa
good fo r children, t o « Use It when­
ever coated tongiM or fetid breath
signals need of ■ sweetener. Phyal-
clans will tell yon that every spoon­
ful o f Phillips Milk o f Magnesia neu­
tralise* many times Its volume In acid.
Get tbe gennlne, the name Phillip* 1«
Important Imitations do not act tho
same I
P hillips
r
M i i k .
c ? M r£ n s s !a