THE TRIBUNE. TURNER, OREGON
This Is Going to Be a Sizable Gas Tank
“ I Never m>rry
when they’re in the W h ip p et
D ID N ’ T A D V E R T IS E IT
This low-priced car has every modem feature
for driving safety and dependable performance
"Isn't It queer that Methuselah
lived to bo nine hundred «lily nine
years old. and many oilier men lived
to be very aged In Itlhl» time», with
out ■ woman living to be that old?"
"It l«n’t a bit queer. It merely
shows i hal women were the aa me then
as now. Wbat woman would ever con
fess to belag a thousand years oldT*
T b e e Ha Raa
Tha wedding cerauiuny was over at
last I "I’ liew. that was an experi
ence," said the bridegroom. “ Didn't
I look Ilk* a fool at lb* a lu r rail?"
"N o,” said the best man, "but^ any
one could see that you were not your
self."
H ad Little F aitb ie Him
Mora than on» liiimlrt-d workman lowering Ih» hug» lx*»a o f ■ 10,000,000 cubic-foot gn» tank for the Pacific Goe
A Electric company Into i>o»ltl«ii In Hnn Frendaco. Th» tank will be 228 feet high and 270 feet In diameter. It
will ha of the teleacoplc type, having live collapslbla sections.
. • - - - u -, ~ -
Navy’s A ir Fighters Ready for Maneuvers
Th* 8oo— Well, dad. I’m going after
a Job. Going to try to sell myself to
the First National bank.
The 8!re— Mebb» you'll do It, all
right, but the chances are you'll only
give yourself away.
HEARD
OF
WASHINGTON
W H IPPET 6 SEDAN
Small Down Payment
ADVANCED, modern engineering through- Balance in 12 eacy monthly payment»
SEE Y O U R N E ARE ST
l \ . out the entire chassis of the new Superior
DEALER
Whippet is responsible for smoothness and relia
ix k d i
bility of performance, consummate ease of han
/» > .
04 m ,
dling, and maximum driving safety.
saner,
Whippet’s big four-wheel brakes are of the posi
V V V
tive, mechanical type— acting quickly and surely.
Both the Whippet Four and Whippet Six have
considerably greater braking area than any of their W H IPPET 4 SEDAN
Small Down Payment
competitors. Other important Whippet advan Balance
in 12 eajy monthly payment!
tages include extra long wheelbase, oversize balloon
SEE Y O U R N E ARE ST
tires, full force-feed lubrication, silent timing chain,
D E A LE R
“ Finger-Tip Control,” higher compression engine,
invar-strut pistons, and, in the Six, a heavy seven-
bearing crankshaft.
Lhu
Crack, Cam fa, Da Lana Sedan,
Reedaer. A ll m U j,-O v erla n d fr itm
Telede,
mad 1 faapcaataai m i*
11 fi ^
fmet te tksnga w nkant
"8ay, you don’t know a thing about
history. Did you ever bear of Wash
IngtonT"
"Sure 1 have— It's the Capital o f the
United State*.”
U m imcludti Ceaek, Can fa, Dm Loon Sedan,
Readner, »-fa m n g er Readner, Celleguee
Readner, Tearing, Commercial Cm,an
WILLYS - OVERLAND, Inc.
Easy F alliag O at
ller* are 10 trim craft tielonging to Fighting Squadron 2 o f the Aircraft battl» fleet
went beach of the Naval Air atatlon at Sun Diego fur maneuver*.
When It’s Warm in the Capital City
They were lined op on the
th a ham m ock know s no discipline
Of lova and tbua in sp ire, our doubt;
F o r th o u g h an aid to falling In,
It still m ay causa a falling out.
A N sigk b or o f tha F issa
LAST SURVIVORS
The Immigration
no friends and no
land? I see you.
The Prospective
lence, not Finnish.
Ofllcer—No money,
Job and expect to
finish.
d tlse n —No, excel
Lettish.
The Jab* That Failed
She— 1 told your latest Joke to
mother last night and she pretty near
laughed herself to death.
He (Impatiently)— Well, why didn't
the?
WEALTHY INDEED
Two pretty glrla from one o f Uncle Sam'a big office* at Washington atole
away from their work to go wndlng In the cool watera o f the Potomac, where
they were caught In the act by a vigilant cameraman.
New Secretaries o f the Senate
Thomas O. Edgar o f Washington,
who became the sol* survivor of the
gallant bust which marched across the
Hlo Grande In 184«, when his last
comrade died at the age o f one hun
dred and one In Missouri. Mr. Ed
gar Is nlnety-elgbt. He served In the
navy during the Mexican war but
does not remember the name o f his
ship and discourages efforts to make
a hero o f him.
RULES VATICAN CITY
“ Is your friend wealthy?”
“ Wealthy? Why. man. he has three
daughters at boarding school and
doesn’t have to give It the least
thought"
Lias O a t o f ll
T ha laay m an w ho lies abed
T rlaa to tnsplra som e doubt of I t
Ha w on’t adm it tha tru th Instead
Ha g a ts up and Ilea out of I t
H »tp W anted
Mistress—Do we want anything
from tha town?
Maid—Yes, madam, tha china will
not last over Sunday
Possibly S o
Instructor— Your son does not seem
Interested during class hours.
He
wears a sleepy expression continually.
Father—Ah. bnt Isn't It possible
that It'a the talent slumbering with
in?
__________________
N ot la tba S a n a Class
The Credit Man—I dont doubt that
you have a thrifty, helpful wife, but
It’a money that talks.
The Delinquent Customer— Money
talks, boh? I'll back my wife against
a million dollars.
Her W ishes
Commentdatore Beraflnl, flrst gover
nor of the city o f ti e Vatican that Is
practically a small self-governing na
tion created by treaty between Mus
sottnt, representing the king o f Italy
and Cardinal Gasparrl, representing
Pope Plus XI.
Carl A. I.oeffler, left, and Edwin A. Halsey, right, who have been elected
gecretnrlea o f the majority and minority o f the senate. These offices were
created by the new legislative personnel act and their duties will consist o f
assisting the party leader* In the general supervision o f legislation.
Us* f o r E yebrow s
Eyebrows serve to prevent peraplra
tlon from falling Into the eyes.
T h » Pastor S s y n
O F INTEREST T O E V E R Y B O D Y
A retti n il la one o f the most rapidly
novlng o f the "fixed" atnrs.
There are about 48,000,000 aerea of
irable landa undeveloped In North
ilnnehuria.
Moat of the ashestoa used In the
rorld Is being shipped front mines of
>n stern Quebec.
An onyx qunrry has been opened
ienr Custer, 8. I). It Is believed tobe
hç largest deposit on the coutlncuL
An eagle returns to Its nest year
after year.
It would take 213 states the size of
Rhode Island to make one state as
large ns Texas.
Young men o f France are called
to the colors at twenty-one now In
stead o f twenty.
So ninny Horllners ride to work on
bicycles that the police arc hard pul
to solve the bike trnfllc problem.
Some people, like locomotives, pull
whole trains: others, like automobiles,
propel themselves alone; while still
others ere mere cars, which have to
he hauled.—John Andrew Holmes.
Know H er?
There Is n certain type o f woman
to whom It Is always quite safe to
keep on saying, "Dear dear. Isn’t that
terrible I” regardless o f whether you
hear anything she eays.—Detroit
News.
She—I wish that we two nlone could
live always on some lonely Island In a
great ocean.
He— Darling, haven't yon a wish
that could he fulfilled more easily?
She—Oh. yes I I’m Just dying for
a strawberry Ice cream soda.
Surprise
Customer— I want to pay cash for
this car.
Salesman—Yes, sir. But It's so un
usual that I’ m afraid you'll have to
give us a reference or two.
H alpieg Him O at
The Boss—I’ m Just going to help
you heat a part of this unjust and
burdensome Income tax.
The Salesman—Thanka. chief. How
do we do It?
Th* Boss— We redne* your salary
29 per cen t
TO LE D O , OHIO
Desert Area Believed
N ew W om an Raally New
The “ new woman," who is neither
to Hold Mineral Riches
yonng nor old, neither a girl nor a
The
San
Rafael Swell, a wild waste
married woman, neither a bad nor a
spinster. Is something new under the o f buttes, mesas and deep steep-elded
canyons, heretofore considered o f little
sun.—Woman's Home Companion.
vaine save as a rather poor grade of
Ruse Ball Blue delights the house pasture land for a few herds of sheep,
wife. Makes clothes whiter than snow. may be about to step forward to claim
Its share In the progress o f the world.
At your Grocer’s.— Adv.
This section o f the desert area of
Utah has been visited by experts of
W a rn in g F rom Upstairs
Voice From Upstairs.— Wbat time Is the Geological survey, and nearly two-
thirds o f Its area has been carefully
It. Barbara?
Barbara— I don’t know—Jim's watch Investigated. There seems to be prom
ise that a valuable find o f helium,
Isn't going.
Voice— Oh. and how about Jim?— that boon to lighter-than-alr craft, has
been made and there are hopes that
Vancouver Province.
deposits o f petroleum will also be
developed.
Distance o f tba Sun
The Swell yielded a fair quantity
A new method of determining the
distance of the sun suggested at the o f radium and uranium daring the
Dominion observatory. Ottawa, de World war. The rocks contained In
pends on three accurately known the Swell embrace representatives o f
measurements; the velocity of flight, til the geological periods from the
the wave lengths o f spectrum lines, Permian to the Upper Cretaceous.
and the shape o f the earth's orb it
Dally observations o f the spectrum o f Easy to Sever Marital
the sun’s center with a constant com
Knot in Soviet Russia
parison spectrum have been made for
years and preliminary measurements
The matter c f marriage and di
Indicate promising results.
vorce are very simply disposed o f
by the Soviet laws. All legal for
malities are practically dispensed
with and. tiring o f matrimony, eith
er party to the arrangement has sim
ply to leave the other and advertise
the fact, which may be done at a
cost o f about $1.50.
The christening o f children has
gone to the discard as an Institu
tion
along
with
other
religious
rites. A Communist father desiring
to show his party loyalty and to dedi
cate his offspring to the Communist
cause will carry his infant to his o f
flce. shop or factory and there in the
presence of his comrades declare his
predilection In the matter o f a name
“ Mai or Oktyabr," perhaps. In com
memoration of revolutionary dates or
that o f some revered party leader.
“ Ninel,” the reverse o f “ Lenin,” Is a
DR. CA LD W E LL’S
favorite for the girls.
T H R E E RULES
U nusual M ineral D eposit
Dr. Caldwell watched the results of
constipation for 47 years, and believed
that no matter how careful people are
of their health, diet and exercise, con
stipation will occur from time to time.
Of next importance, then, is how to treat
it when it cornea Dr. Chlilwell always
was in favor of getting as close to nature
u possible, hence his remedy for consti
pation is a mild vegetable compound. It
can not harm the most delicate system
and it not habit forming.
The Doctor never did approve of dras
tic physics and purges. He did not believe
they were good few human beings to put
into their system. Uee Syrup Pepsin for
yourself and members of the family in
constipation, biliousness, sour and ci ampv
stomach, bad breath, no appetite, head
aches, and to break up fevers and colds.
Get a bottle today, at any drugstore and
shaerve these three rules of health: Keep
the head cool, the feet warm, th* bowels
■»pen. For a free trial bottle, just writ»
‘Syrup Pepain,” Dept. BB, Monticello,
Iltnois.
For Barbed Wire Cuts
Hanford’s Balsam of Myrrh
b a c k fo rS n tb o ttk lfM li
P ard onable M istake
Irving Berlin said at a reception at
the Ritz tn New York:
"Melody Is coming back. Jazs la
stUl popular, yes, but we have melo
dic Jazz now, whereas In the past—"
Mr. Berlin laughed and went o n !
“ A young man and a girl were
feasting on lobster and champagne at
a sapper club.
“ "Oh, what heavenly Jazz!’ said tbq
glrL ‘Let's dance.’
“ T h at wasn't Jazz,’ said the young
man. *MaJor Lush upset his table.” *
For Foot Com fort
N D quick relief o f hot. tired,
*• aching, smarting feet shake
Allen’ s Foot*B*ae, the antiseptic
healing powder, into your shoes. It
takes the friction from the shoes
and makes walking or dancing a
delight. Sold everywhere.
A
‘"‘Allen’s
Foot=
Ease
IV
**£V£fi
DAY**
.
For Fraa Trim! pack mg* and a]
i FootaEasa Walking Doll, Add rasa»
lAlM n'a Foot • Earn, La R oy, N *•
From Youth to Age
There are three trying periods in a
woman’s life: when the girl matures
to womanhood, when a woman
gives birth to her first child, when a
woman reaches middle age. A t
these times Lydia E . Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound helps to re
store normal health and vigor.
LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S
VI GL T A B I F C 0 M P 0 L M l
1
I k Ul \ . PINKH VM Ml D- CO. L Y W M Css
Who, then. Is free? The wise man
who can govern himself.—Horace.
In D aily Use
over all the trorlel
THOUSANDS o f women have come
to regard Cuticura a* the true natural
aid to a lovely skin and attractive hands
and hair. Regular daily use of Cuticura
Soap, assisted by Cuticura Ointment
when required, purifies and beautifies
the skin, cleanses the scalp and keeps
the hair live and glossy.
Evan Tails His W ife
Parson Tenthly—In order to be
happy In married life, there must be
no hose, my dear brother.
Deacon Duttons—Yea, that’s wha»
1 keep telling my wife, parson.
During the World war a prospector
searching an old tunnel near Libby,
Mont., noticed flakes o f a coarse mica-
like mineral that writhed and swelled
enormously when touched by the
flame o f hla candle. The flaky min
eral proved to be verntlcullte, which
further examination showed to be
present In great quantities. Vermi
culite Is applied to a group o f min
erals that expand and give off water
upon heating. The name arises from
the fact that some members o f the
group open Into long, wormllke
threads. The heated and expanded
material Is very light, exhibits a
golden or silvery luster, and appears
to have very low heat conductivity.
These properties suggest possible Im
portant usee, says Geological Survey.
H ow Fast L ife Changes
An airplane honeymoon recalls the
time that has elapsed since the lad a »
sured his “ Daisy," "Ton’ll look sweet
upon the «eat o f a bicycle built for
two." A tandem bicycle wa* rather
prosaic. Sky transportation has In
tensified romance.—Washington Star.
Soap 25c. Ointment 2Sc and 50c. Talcum 25c.
Sample each free.
AJJrtu: "Cuticura,” Dept. B6. Malden. Maaa.
F
C u t ic u r a R h a r t s f S t i c k SAe.
1
FLORESTON SH A M F O O -Id ea l er ose »
connection with father's llslr B» aera If ekrato»
hair sott sn.l Snffr. sn eents by mail of at tra f
elata. Hiecoi Chemical Works, Fstchogus, a . T.