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jpp iqjr vgriqpriqpL ayi jl jil jyt. ji. Jiyc y jyt . jyi y ,y jgt. y. jgi. jyuyi y jyugji Jjji JJF jgfLJjijyigra
3
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We undersell reonlar Stores.
I 4
IN LIGHTER VEIN
Binks "Very few women have any
knowledge of parlimentary law."
Jinks "You should hear my wife.
She has been speaker of the house for
the last twelve years' Ex.
"But," protested the Plain People,
"you are 'robbing us."
"Suppose I am," responded the Trust
impatiently; "if you stop me it will bring
on sC panic, and then where will you be?"
Puck.
"When you delivered your speech,"
said the stenographer, "why did you
omit that reference to straining at a gnat
and swallowing a camel?"
"Huh!" rejoined the prudent orator,
"there has already been quite enough of
this nature-faking discussed." Ex'.
The true test of greatness is the ability
to wear the sarne size hat continuously.
Puck.
"That," said the agile dentist, as he
sidestepped the leap of the infuriated
patient whose dental cavity he had just
probed with startling results, "is what I
call a jumping toothache." Baltimore
American.
Jack: How long can a goose stand on
one leg? Valois: Try it and see. Ex.
Said the shoe to. the stocking, I'll wear
a hole in you. Said the stocking to the
shoe, I'll be darned if you do. 'Ex.
An Irishman once, in speaking of the
American politicians, said: "If these men
were landed on an uninhabited island,
it wouldn't be a half an hour 'till they'd
have their hands in the pockets of the
naked savages."
Mr. McKinley says a cyclone is some
thing that starts from nowhere, has no
particular place to go, but it is in an
awful hurry to get there. Ex.
Mr. Johns "Say, Tut, what instru
ment of war does the Earth resemble?"
Mr. Daily "A revolver, of course."
"But why did you leave your last
place?" the lady asked of the would-be
cook.
"To tell the truth mum, I just couldn't
stand the way the master an' the missus
used to quarrel, mum."
"Dear me! Do you mean to say that
they actually used to quarrel?"
"Yis, mum, all the time. When it
wasn't me an' him, it was me an' her."
--Everybody's.