Eugene weekly., June 21, 2018, Page 26, Image 26

FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E Z S N Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to my analysis of the astrological omens you have cosmic permission to
enjoy extra helpings of waffles, crepes, pancakes and blintzes. Eating additional pastries and doughnuts is also
encouraged. Why? Because it’s high time for you to acquire more ballast. You need more gravitas and greater
stability. You can’t afford to be top-heavy; you must be hard to knock over. If you would prefer not to accomplish
this noble goal by adding girth to your butt and gut, find an alternate way. Maybe you could put weights on your
shoes and think very deep thoughts.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re slipping into the wild heart of the season of discovery. Your curiosity is
mounting. Your listening skills are growing more robust. Your willingness to be taught and influenced and
transformed is at a peak. And what smarter way to take advantage of this fertile moment than to decide what
you most want to learn about during the next three years? For inspiration, identify a subject you’d love to study,
a skill you’d eagerly stretch yourself to master, or an invigorating truth that would boost your brilliance if you
thoroughly embodied it.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Playwright and novelist Samuel Beckett won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1969.
Four of his works were essential in earning that award: the play Waiting for Godot, and the novels Molloy, Malone
Dies and The Unnamable. Beckett wrote all of them in a two-year span during the late 1940s. During that time,
he was virtually indigent. He and his companion Suzanne survived on the paltry wage she made as a dress-
maker. We might draw the conclusion from his life story that it is at least possible for a person to accomplish
great things despite having little money. I propose that we make Beckett your role model for the coming weeks,
Gemini. May he inspire you to believe in your power to become the person you want to be no matter what your
financial situation may be.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I suggest you ignore the temptation to shop around for new heroes and champi-
ons. It would only distract you from your main assignment in the coming weeks, which is to be more of a hero
and champion yourself. Here are some tips to guide you as you slip beyond your overly modest self-image and
explore the liberations that may be possible when you give yourself more credit. Tip No. 1: Finish outgrowing
the old heroes and champions who’ve served you well. Tip No. 2: Forgive and forget the disappointing heroes
and hypocritical champions who betrayed their own ideals. Tip No. 3: Exorcise your unwarranted admiration for
mere celebrities who might have snookered you into thinking they’re heroes or champions.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “A waterfall would be more impressive if it flowed the other way,” said Irish writer Oscar
Wilde. Normally, I would dismiss an idea like this, even though it’s funny and I like funny ideas. Normally, I
would regard such a negative assessment of the waterfall’s true nature, even in jest, to be unproductive and
enfeebling. But none of my usual perspectives are in effect as I evaluate the possibility that Wilde’s declaration
might be a provocative metaphor for your use in the coming weeks. For a limited time only, it might be wise to
meditate on a waterfall that flows the other way.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Stage magicians may seem to make a wine glass hover in mid-air, or transform salt
into diamonds, or make doves materialize and fly out of their hands. It’s all fake, of course – tricks performed by
skilled illusionists. But here’s a twist on the old story: I suspect that for a few weeks, you will have the power to
generate effects that may, to the uninitiated, have a resemblance to magic tricks. Except that your magic will be
real, not fake. And you will have worked very hard to accomplish what looks easy and natural. And the marvels
you generate will, unlike the illusionists’, be authentic and useful.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The coming weeks will be a favorable time to accentuate and brandish the qualities
that best exemplify your Libran nature. In other words, be extreme in your moderation. Be pushy in your at-
tempts to harmonize. Be bold and brazen as you make supple use of your famous balancing act. I’ll offer you a
further piece of advice, as well. My first astrology teacher believed that when Librans operate at peak strength,
their symbol of power is the iron fist in the velvet glove: power expressed gracefully, firmness rendered gently. I
urge you to explore the nuances of that metaphor.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If I were your mom, I’d nudge you out the door and say, “Go play outside for a
while!” If I were your commanding officer, I’d award you a shiny medal for your valorous undercover work and
then order you to take a frisky sabbatical. If I were your psychotherapist, I would urge you to act as if your past
has no further power to weigh you down or hold you back, and then I would send you out on a vision quest to
discover your best possible future. In other words, my dear Scorpio, I hope you will flee your usual haunts. Get
out of the loop and into the open spaces that will refresh your eyes and heart.
Send Us Your Best Pet Photos!
Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again —
Eugene Weekly annual Pet Photo Contest
is happening once more.
After careful consideration, we, too,
have eliminated the bikini contest
from this year’s competition. Instead,
your photos of Fido, Fluffy and
Grumpy will all be judged solely on
personality and talent.
- Most unusual pet
- Best pet action photo
- Sweetest pet
Email your entries by
5 pm Friday, July 6, to
offi ce@eugeneweekly.com
Put your pet’s name and the category you
want to enter in the subject line. If you want to
add some details about your pet or how you got
the photo, put that in the body of the email.
Enter as many photos as you wish, but only
one per email.
We’ll publish the winners in the
July 26 Pets Issue.
IT’S NOT GOODBYE!
Your relationship with Planned
Parenthood does not have to end
at graduation or with a new job.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sex education classes at some high schools employ a dramatic exercise
to illustrate the possible consequences of engaging in heterosexual lovemaking without using birth control.
Everywhere they go for two weeks, students must carry around a 10-pound bag of flour. It’s a way for them to
get a visceral approximation of caring for an infant. I recommend that you find or create an equivalent test or
trial for yourself in the coming days. As you consider entering into a deeper collaboration or making a stronger
commitment, you’ll be wise to undertake a dress rehearsal.
Planned Parenthood
is your lifetime
health partner.
Care.
No matter what.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Members of the Dull Men’s Club celebrate the ordinary. “Glitz and glam aren’t
worth the bother,” they declare. “Slow motion gets you there faster,” they pontificate. Showing no irony, they
brag that they are “born to be mild.” I wouldn’t normally recommend becoming part of a movement like theirs,
but the next two weeks will be one of those rare times when aligning yourself with their principles might be
healthy and smart. If you’re willing to explore the virtues of simple, plain living, make the Swedish term lagom
your word of power. According to the Dull Men’s Club, it means “enough, sufficient, adequate, balanced, suitable,
appropriate.”
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the Georgian language, shemomechama is a word that literally means “I ate
the whole thing.” It refers to what happens when you’re already full, but find the food in front of you so delicious
that you can’t stop eating. I’m concerned you might soon be tempted to embark on metaphorical versions of
shemomechama. That’s why I’m giving you a warning to monitor any tendencies you might have to get too
much of a good thing. Pleasurable and productive activities will serve you better if you stop yourself before you
go too far.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Please do not send me a lock of your hair or a special piece of your jewelry or a
hundred dollar bill. I will gladly cast a love spell in your behalf without draining you of your hard-earned cash.
The only condition I place on my free gift is that you agree to have me cast the love spell on you and you alone.
After all, your love for yourself is what needs most work. And your love for yourself is the primary magic that
fuels your success in connecting with other people. (Besides, it’s bad karma to use a love spell to interfere with
another person’s will.) So if you accept my conditions, Pisces, demonstrate that you’re ready to receive my
telepathic love spell by sending me your telepathic authorization.
HOMEWORK Make a guess about where you’ll be and what you’ll be doing ten years from today. Testify at
Freewillastrology.com.
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
26
June 21, 2018 • eugeneweekly.com
Make your appointment today!
ppsworegon.org | 541-344-9411
PET OF THE WEEK!
WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE
541-689-1503
www.green-hill.org
88530 Green Hill Rd
Bonded Pair: Lewis
& Clark: Lewis, is a
handsome and curious
boy. He’s a little shy at
first and takes some
time to warm up to you,
but once he does he’d
love to be wherever you
are and snuggle into a
blanket next to you. He
loves to explore and he
will gladly play with any other dog that is willing to play with
him. He’s doing great with going potty outside and is working
on crate training. Clark, is a gorgeous boy who is extremely
shy. He takes while to warm up to you and would do well
with someone patient. He can get overwhelmed with a lot of
commotion and prefers a quiet environment with a safe space
to hang out if things get too crazy. He does well with mellow
dogs, but gets a little stressed around high energy dogs. Once
he’s gotten comfortable with you, he’d love to cuddle next to
you while you binge watch your favorite Netflix show. He’s
working on going potty outside and crate training.Both Lewis &
Clark are untested with cats and children.
Everybody deserves a good home
Meet Spyro! Spyro is one
of the favorite kitties of
volunteers and staff. He is a
10-yr-old sweetheart who
is very easy to hang out
with. He was abandoned
in a trailer park in late
March, but must have had a
loving home at some point,
because he has very good
manners! He is patiently
waiting for that special
someone to go home with!
This chill, sweet kitty loves his head rubbed and chin scratched. He
likes being brushed and talked to, and is a quiet observer of his
surroundings. He is very gentle and relaxed and gets along fine with
the cats at the shelter. For more information about Spyro talk to one
of our Cattery staff or visit him at Greenhill Humane Society.
Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm • Closed Wednesday & Thursday
Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs find their forever homes
www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue