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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 10, 2017)
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY R O B B R E Z S N Y ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hope you’re making wise use of the surging fertility that has been coursing through you. Maybe you’ve been reinventing a long-term relationship that needed creative tinkering. Perhaps you have been hammering together an innovative business deal or generating new material for your artistic practice. It’s possible you have discovered how to express feelings and ideas that have been half-mute or inaccessible for a long time. If for some weird reason you are not yet having experiences like these, get to work! There’s still time to tap into the fecundity. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano defines “idiot memory” as the kind of remem- brances that keep us attached to our old self-images and trapped by them. “Lively memory,” on the other hand, is a feisty approach to our old stories. It impels us to graduate from who we used to be. “We are the sum of our efforts to change who we are,” writes Galeano. “Identity is no museum piece sitting stock-still in a display case.” Here’s another clue to your current assignment, Taurus, from psychotherapist Dick Olney: “The goal of a good therapist is to help someone wake up from the dream that they are their self-image.” GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Sometimes, Gemini, loving you is a sacred honor for me — equivalent to getting a poem on my birthday from the Dalai Lama. On other occasions, loving you is more like trying to lap up a delicious milkshake that has spilled on the sidewalk or slow-dancing with a giant robot teddy bear that accidentally knocks me down when it suffers a glitch. I don’t take it personally when I encounter the more challenging sides of you, since you are always an interesting place to visit. But could you maybe show more mercy to the people in your life who are not just visitors? Remind your dear allies of the obvious secret — that you’re composed of several different selves, each of whom craves different thrills. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Liz, my girlfriend when I was young, went to extreme lengths to cultivate her phys- ical attractiveness. “Beauty must suffer,” her mother had told her while growing up and Liz heeded that advice. To make her long blonde hair as wavy as possible, for example, she wrapped strands of it around six empty metal cans before bed, applied a noxious spray and then slept all night with a stinky, clanking mass of metal affixed to her head. While you may not do anything so literal, Cancerian, you do sometimes act as if suffering helps keep you strong and attractive — as if feeling hurt is a viable way to energize your quest for what you want. But if you’d like to transform that approach, the coming weeks will be a good time. Step One: Have a long, compassion- ate talk with your inner saboteur. I Saw You I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M I S AW YOU RE: BICYCLING BEAUTY YOU LIGHT MY SOUL ON FIRE I WAS LONGBOARDING THROUGH THE WHITEAKER We R All Bicycling Beauties. What does this beauty and bike look like? Perhaps leave your info with the weekly office and we’ll see what happens.... Glad we ran away to Eugene together. You’re my best friend and even my worst days are better because your around. LYMI to the moon and back! (~Clark and Grand) when I saw you: a cute brunette wearing blue jeans and a tight white t-shirt with big pink letters. Me: blond- ish dude with a red tanktop, glasses, and earbuds, doing double takes at you as I skated by. If you want to kick it, the EW has my email WHERE’S TJ?! DONATIONS FOR WHITE BIRD Tall, glasses, mid-age, one leg, smart ass. Last in Cot Grv, frm Philly. We miss Crisp White w Gpa on High St, Cribbage & Marble Game. Still smell dead people, thanx! Whiskey River in Teq Clubhouse playing Tops & getting tats. Tubing n oysters in Sun River. Miss your Wet Wool Blanket & pup Zane. YAHTZEE! Love, Buckethead Still being accepted at the EW Office. Hygiene Products Needed! Tarps and Sleeping bags too. Thank you to those who have given! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Each of us comes to know the truth in our own way, says astrologer Antero Alli. “For some it is wild and unfettered,” he writes. “For others it is like a cozy domesticated cat, while others find truth through their senses alone.” Whatever your usual style of knowing the truth might be, Leo, I suspect you’ll benefit from trying out a different method in the next two weeks. Here are some possibilities: trusting your most positive feelings; tuning in to the clues and cues your body provides; performing ceremonies in which you request the help of ancestral spirits; slipping into an altered state by laughing nonstop for five minutes. WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs fi nd their forever homes VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Would you scoff if I said that you’ll soon be blessed with supernatural assistance? Would you smirk and roll your eyes if I advised you to find clues to your next big move by analyzing your irratio- nal fantasies? Would you tell me to stop spouting nonsense if I hinted that a guardian angel is conspiring to blast a tunnel through the mountain you created out of a molehill? It’s OK if you ignore my predictions, Virgo. They’ll come true even if you’re a staunch realist who doesn’t believe in woo-woo, juju or mojo. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is the Season of Enlightenment for you. That doesn’t necessarily mean you will achieve an ultimate state of divine grace. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll be freestyling in satori, samadhi or nirvana. But one thing is certain: Life will conspire to bring you the excited joy that comes with deep insight into the nature of reality. If you decide to take advantage of the opportunity, please keep in mind these thoughts from designer Elissa Giles: “Enlightenment is not an asexual, dispassionate, head-in-the-clouds, nails-in-the- palms disappearance from the game of life. It’s a volcanic, kick-ass, erotic commitment to love in action, coupled with hard-headed practical grist.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Some zoos sell the urine of lions and tigers to gardeners who sprinkle it in their gardens. Apparently the stuff scares off wandering house cats that might be tempted to relieve themselves in vegetable patches. I nominate this scenario to be a provocative metaphor for you in the coming weeks. Might you tap into the power of your inner wild animal so as to protect your inner crops? Could you build up your warrior energy so as to prevent run-ins with pesky irritants? Can you call on helpful spirits to ensure that what’s growing in your life will continue to thrive? Hello! My name is Sweet Potato; I am excited to let you all know that S.A.R.A. is having a Parking Lot Sale this Sat. August 12th from 10am-5pm at S.A.R.A.’s Treasures at 871 River Rd, Eugene. This large, outdoor fundraiser features a HUGE selection of donated items at awesome, LOW prices. This event is held rain or shine, all proceeds support S.A.R.A.'s life- saving mission to rescue, assist, & advocate for shelter animals! Hope to see you all there! 871 River Road • 607-8892 • Open Everyday 10-6 www.sarastreasures.org Evie is a 3 year old chihuahua mix, weighing in at around 7 lbs, and full of cuteness! She’s a girl that knows what she wants and it’s ONLY you. She prefers being close to her person most of her days, and would not like being left alone if it meant she couldn’t keep you company. (Evie just needs to know you’re not leaving her and you WILL BE BACK.) Evie would prefer to be the only dog in your home, be around older children that respect doggie boundaries, and be the recipient of all the lap time and head pats you’d like to give her. She is accustomed to going outside to potty, is a great leash walker, and understands “no” when she’s attempting something she shouldn’t. Evie longs for a family or person who will understand her needs, and will allow her the time to adjust in her new home. Her shy demeanor only lasts a day or two, while she builds her trust in her human, and then she will open up to show you just how sweet and loving she is. www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The fates have conspired to make it right and proper for you to be influ- enced by Sagittarian author Mark Twain. There are five specific bits of his wisdom that will serve as benevolent tweaks to your attitude. I hope you will also aspire to express some of his expansive snappiness. Now here’s Twain: 1. “You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” 2. “Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.” 3. “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” 4. “When in doubt, tell the truth.” 5. “Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “My grandfather used to tell me that if you stir muddy water it will only get darker,” wrote I. G. Edmonds in his book Trickster Tales. “But if you let the muddy water stand still, the mud will settle and the water will become clearer,” he concluded. I hope this message reaches you in time, Capricorn. I hope you will then resist any temptation you might have to agitate, churn, spill wine into, wash your face in, drink or splash around in the muddy water. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1985, Maurizio Cattelan quit his gig at a mortuary in Padua, Italy and resolved to make a living as an artist. He started creating furniture and ultimately evolved into a sculptor who specialized in satirical work. In 1999 he produced a piece depicting the Pope being struck by a meteorite, which sold for $886,000 in 2001. If there were ever going to be a time when you could launch your personal version of his sto- ry, Aquarius, it would be in the next ten months. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should go barreling ahead with such a radical act of faith, however. Following your bliss rarely leads to instant success. It may take years. (16 in Cattelan’s case.) Are you willing to accept that? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Tally up your physical aches, psychic bruises and chronic worries. Take inventory of your troubling memories, half-repressed disappointments and existential nausea. Do it, Pisces! Be strong. If you bravely examine and deeply feel the difficult feelings, then the cures for those feelings will magically begin streaming in your direction. You’ll see what you need to do to escape at least some of your suffering. So name your griefs and losses, my dear. Remember your near-misses and total fiascos. As your reward, you’ll be soothed and relieved and forgiven. A Great Healing will come. HOMEWORK: When they say “Be yourself,” which self do they mean? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com. GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. 34 A ugust 10, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com PET OF THE WEEK! Everybody deserves a good home 541-689-1503 www.green-hill.org 88530 Green Hill Rd Serving your community since the 1940’s This is Phoebe, she’s a six month old fi erce little frenchie. We have been working to get her fractured leg all healed up so she can get back to her regular puppy shenanigans! 1432 Orchard St. • Eugene, OR (541) 342-1178 read us online at Delta is a sweet and aff ectionate girl and a bit of a goof. She enjoys going for walks and sniffi ng around her environment even though her long legs make her seem a little clumsy. Delta has a hard time with cats and other dogs but does well with kids as young as 10. She is looking for a home where she can get daily exercise and some good yard playing time. After that, she is happy to fi t as much of her awkward frame in your lap as she can for a nap. Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm • Closed Wednesday & Thursday eugeneweekly.com
