Eugene weekly., August 10, 2017, Page 10, Image 10

ILLUSTRATION FOR EUGENE WEEKLY BY HILDE ATALANTA
Liking both can render you silent
S
o what’s it like to be bisexual? Henry Os-
borne, 22, says it can be confusing. “It’s
weird to be attracted to both, and people
don’t believe you a lot of the time,” he says.
“People will give you kind of a look if you
say you’re bi. Especially people in queer
circles — they don’t really believe you.”
Bisexual people, despite having a stable
sexual orientation of their own, are often
assumed to be “going through a phase”
instead of being permanently bi. Some may
assume they’re only halfway out of the closet, while others
will say they “went through a phase in college” if they end
up with a member of the opposite sex.
Bi people are therefore more likely to be treated with sus-
picion in LGBT communities, and face increased isolation
because of it. As a bisexual myself, I’ve experienced some
of these issues — I’m still not sure my parents believe me
about my identity since I came out in college.
Osborne says that others misunderstand his sexuality,
expecting that he can “turn it on and off.” He says that when
he came out to his parents as bi, they didn’t understand. “I
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A ugust 10, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com
BY KELLY KENOYER
was like ‘Mom, I’m not gay, I’m bi,’ and she was like, ‘Oh,
but you’re gay right now.’”
“When I was in a relationship, everyone thought I was
just gay,” Osborne adds. “I didn’t correct them because I’d
get looks and whispers, so I just let them believe I was
gay.”
According to a 2011 report by the San Francisco Human
Rights Commission, Bisexual Invisibility, “Other people’s
assumptions often render bisexuals invisible. Two women
holding hands are read as ‘lesbian,’ two men as ‘gay,’ and
a man and a woman as ‘straight.’ In reality, any of these
people might be bi — perhaps all of them.”
Bisexuals are rendered invisible — their identity
subsumed by their relationship. Osborne says he often
heard derogatory comments about bisexuals when he was
part of a queer community during his last relationship.
“They told me bi people don’t exist,” he says.
Bisexual women can face similar issues. Tatiana
Enriquez is a 33-year-old student from Guayaquil, Ecuador
currently enrolled at Lane Community College. She says
she was outed as a lesbian when she still lived in Ecuador,
despite actually being bi. “It was awful,” she says.
Homosexuality is really taboo in Ecuador, she adds.
“Being a tomboy doesn’t mean you are a lesbian, it’s just
part of me.”
Though Enriquez prefers serious relationships, she
says many people assume she’s promiscuous because of
her identity. “Sometimes people think that because I’m
bisexual I like all the girls and all the men. It’s not like
that.” Most here in the U.S. assume she’s straight until told
otherwise. “I am a person who loves people, regardless of
gender,” she adds.
Hannah Steinkopf-Frank is a recent University of
Oregon graduate who identifies as bisexual or queer. “I
think it’s in the nature of being bisexual that you have a
tendency to be left out,” she says.
“When you’re with a man you can feel like a fake
member of LGBTQ. You feel like you’re an intruder
because you’re fulfilling a part of your identity that fits in
with hetero-normativity,” she says.
I can relate to that. Though I’m bisexual, I agonize over
checking the LGBTQ box on census forms, scholarships
and job applications — since bi people can usually pass
for straight, the bi identity can feel like taking resources