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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (July 13, 2017)
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY R O B B R E Z S N Y ARIES (March 21-April 19): It’s not your birthday, but I feel like you need to get presents. The astrological omens agree with me. In fact, they suggest you should show people this horoscope to motivate them to do the right thing and shower you with practical blessings. And why exactly do you need these rewards? Here’s one reason: Now is a pivotal moment in the development of your own ability to give the unique gifts you have to give. If you receive tangible demonstrations that your contributions are appreciated, you’ll be better able to rise to the next level of your generosity. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Other astrologers and fortune-tellers may enjoy scaring the hell out of you, but not me. My job is to keep you apprised of the ways that life aims to help you, educate you and lead you out of your suffering. The truth is, Taurus, that if you look hard enough, there are always seemingly legitimate reasons to be afraid of pretty much everything. But that’s a stupid way to live, especially since there are also always legitimate reasons to be excited about pretty much everything. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to work on re- training yourself to make the latter approach your default tendency. I have rarely seen a better phase than now to replace chronic anxiety with shrewd hope. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At least for the short-range future, benign neglect can be an effective game plan for you. In other words, Gemini, allow inaction to do the job that can’t be accomplished through strenuous action. Stay put. Be patient and cagey and observant. Seek strength in silence and restraint. Let problems heal through the passage of time. Give yourself permission to watch and wait, to reserve judgment and withhold criticism. Why do I suggest this approach? Here’s a secret: Forces that are currently working in the dark and behind the scenes will generate the best possible outcome. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. “All life is an experiment.” I’d love to see you make that your operative strategy in the coming weeks, Cancerian. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, now is a favorable time to overthrow your habits, rebel against your certainties and cruise through a series of freewheeling escapades that will change your mind in a hundred different ways. Do you love life enough to ask more questions than you’ve ever asked before? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Thank you for contacting the Center for Epicurean Education. If you need advice on how to help your imagination lose its inhibitions, please press 1. If you’d like guidance on how to run wild in the woods or in the streets without losing your friends or your job, press 2. If you want to learn more about spiritual sex or sensual wisdom, press 3. If you’d like assistance in initiating a rowdy yet focused search for fresh inspi- ration, press 4. For information about dancing lessons or flying lessons or dancing-while-flying lessons, press 5. For advice on how to stop making so much sense, press 6. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The cereus cactus grows in the deserts of the southwestern U.S. Most of the time it’s scraggly and brittle-looking. But one night of the year, in June or July, it blooms with a fragrant, trumpet-shaped flower. By dawn the creamy white petals close and start to wither. During that brief celebration, the plant’s main pollinator, the sphinx moth, has to discover the marvelous event and come to gather the cactus flower’s pollen. I suspect this scenario has metaphorical resemblances to a task you could benefit from carrying out in the days ahead. Be alert for a sudden, spectacular and rare eruption of beauty that you can feed from and propagate. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If I had more room here, I would offer an inspirational Powerpoint presentation designed just for you. In the beginning, I would seize your attention with an evocative image that my marketing department had determined would give you a visceral thrill. (Like maybe a photoshopped image of you wearing a crown and holding a scepter.) In the next part, I would describe various wonderful and beautiful things about you. Then I’d tactfully describe an aspect of your life that’s underdeveloped and could use some work. I’d say, “I’d love for you to be more strategic in promoting your good ideas. I’d love for you to have a well-crafted master plan that will attract the contacts and resources necessary to lift your dream to the next level.” I Saw You I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M D AT I N G S E R V I C E S ***SUMMER FLING?!*** A nice time and sensuality is just a call away. Travelers most welcome! Sorry, no blocked calls. Tia 541-870-6127. HAPPY HOUR I complimented you this evening. I know you’re probably not interested, but what’s a gal got to lose. I think you are absolutely gorgeous! I know this is a huge long shot, but you are worth it! TRANSPARENT I S AW YOU CONGRATS S&K AND A BIG WELCOME TO BABY M. I love you guys! When you look into another’s eyes and get lost in a pool of their grief...... you become transformed... transposed....without speech. Hands out...engendering reach with love, not hate PET SHOUT OUTS! SUBMIT A PHOTO AND UP TO 30 WORDS BY FRIDAY, JULY 21ST TO ADS@EUGENEWEEKLY.COM OR CALL 541-484-0519 ONLY $10 P E T S I S S U E : J U LY 2 7, 2 0 1 7 SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In late 1811 and early 1812, parts of the mighty Mississippi River flowed backwards several times. Earthquakes were the cause. Now, more than two centuries later, you Sagittarians have a chance — maybe even a mandate — to accomplish a more modest rendition of what nature did way back then. Do you dare to shift the course of a great, flowing, vital force? I think you should at least consider it. In my opinion, that great, flowing, vital force could benefit from an adjustment that you have the wisdom and luck to understand and accomplish. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’re entering into the Uncanny Zone, Capricorn. During your brief journey through this alternate reality, the wind and the dew will be your teachers. Animals will provide special favors. You may experience true fantasies, like being able to sense people’s thoughts and hear the sound of leaves converting sunlight into nourishment. It’s possible you’ll feel the moon tugging at the waters of your body and glimpse visions of the best possible future. Will any of this be of practical use? Yes! More than you can imagine. And not in ways you can imagine yet. Horace, I think we both know I’d be lost without you. <3 WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs fi nd their forever homes SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I advise you against snorting cocaine, MDMA, heroin, or bath salts. But if you do, don’t lay out your lines of powder on a kitchen table or a baby’s diaper-changing counter in a public restroom. Places like those are not exactly sparkly clean and you could end up propelling contaminants close to your brain. Please observe similar care with any other activity that involves altering your consciousness or changing the way you see the world. Do it in a nurturing location that ensures healthy results. P.S. The coming weeks will be a great time to expand your mind if you do it in all-natural ways such as through conversations with interest- ing people, travel to places that excite your awe and encounters with provocative teachings. WE: OUTSIDE ALBERTSONS, SANTA CLARA/RIVER RD YOU: Handsome, White Haired; to die for Blue Eyed man, gave me a fifty (50 cent coin.) ME: Think you made mistake giving me a valuable coin. I find you in store & give it back. US: If you would let an old girl buy you a coffee sometime, I have a hunch that intelligent, smile laden conversations would surely follow. Hello! My name is Cliff ord; I am excited to let y’all know that S.A.R.A. is having a Parking Lot Sale this Sat. July 15thfrom 10am-5pm at S.A.R.A.’s Treasures at 871 River Rd, Eugene. This large, outdoor fundraiser features a HUGE selection of donated items at LOW prices. This event is held rain or shine, all proceeds support S.A.R.A.'s life-saving mission to rescue, assist, & advocate for shelter animals! Hope to see you all there! 871 River Road • 607-8892 • Open Everyday 10-6 www.sarastreasures.org You won’t catch us sleeping all day because we have A LOT of puppy energy to entertain you. In fact, we are your typical 8 week old puppies who like to bounce almost everywhere we go. Don’t be fooled by our pint-sized packaging as we all have BIG hearts and BIGGER personalities. We love big dogs, little dogs, kids, cats...We get along with all of them and tend to think we are more than our almost 2 lbs., but will run for cover if we sense we are in over our heads. www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This is one of those rare grace periods when you can slip into a smooth groove without worrying that it will degenerate into a repetitive rut. You’ll feel natural and comfortable as you attend to your duties, not blank or numb. You’ll be entertained and educated by exacting details, not bored by them. I conclude, therefore, that this will be an excellent time to lay the gritty foundation for expansive and productive adventures later this year. If you’ve been hoping to get an advantage over your competitors and diminish the negative influences of people who don’t empathize with you, now is the time. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “There is a direct correlation between playfulness and intelligence, since the most intelligent animals engage in the greatest amount of playful activities.” So reports the National Geographic. “The reason is simple: Intelligence is the capacity for learning, and to play is to learn.” I suggest you make these thoughts the centerpiece of your life in the coming weeks. You’re in a phase when you have an enhanced capac- ity to master new tricks. That’s fortunate, because you’re also in a phase when it’s especially crucial for you to learn new tricks. The best way to ensure it all unfolds with maximum grace is to play as much as possible. HOMEWORK: Do you let your imagination indulge in fantasies that are wasteful, damaging or dumb? Stop it! Testify at Freewillastrology.com. PET OF THE WEEK! Everybody deserves a good home 541-689-1503 www.green-hill.org 88530 Green Hill Rd Serving your community since the 1940’s Where you are family. 1432 Orchard Street Eugene, OR 97403 (541) 342-1178 EugeneAnimalHospital.net GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. 34 July 13, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com Marion is a sweet young lady. She can be a bit shy at fi rst, but once she gets to know you Marion can be quite talkative. She enjoys lap time and absolutely loves to play with toys, especially fuzzy mice toys and jingly balls. Marion was homeless for some time before a kind person noticed she had kittens and brought her and her kittens to Greenhill. Now, her kittens are weaned, Marion is ready for adoption. She is looking for a quiet home where she can get some play time and those all-important cuddles. Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm • Closed Wednesday & Thursday
