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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (June 15, 2017)
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY R O B B R E Z S N Y ARIES (March 21-April 19): You have to admit that salt looks like sugar and sugar resembles salt. This isn’t usu- ally a major problem, though. Mistakenly sprinkling sugar on your food when you thought you were adding salt won’t hurt you, nor will putting salt in your coffee when you assumed you were using sugar. But errors like these are inconvenient, and they can wreck a meal. You may want to apply this lesson as a metaphor in the coming days, Aries. Be alert for things that outwardly seem to be alike but actually have different tastes and effects. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s a possible plan for the next ten days: Program your smart phone to sound an alarm once every hour during the entire time you’re awake. Each time the bell or buzzer goes off, you will vividly remember your life’s main purpose. You will ask yourself whether or not the activity you’re engaged in at that specific moment is somehow serving your life’s main purpose. If it is, literally pat yourself on the back and say to yourself, “Good job!” If it’s not, say the following words: “I am resolved to get into closer alignment with my soul’s code — the blueprint of my destiny.” GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Actress Marisa Berenson offers a line of anti-aging products that contain an elixir made from the seeds of a desert fruit known as prickly pear. The manufacturing process isn’t easy. To produce a quart of the potion requires 2,000 pounds of seeds. I see you as having a metaphorically similar challenge in the coming weeks, Gemini. To create a small amount of the precious stuff you want, I’m guessing you’ll have to gather a ton of raw materials. And there may be a desert-like phenomena to deal with, as well. I Saw You I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M D AT I N G S E R V I C E S ***SPRING FLING?!*** CANCER (June 21-July 22): There are three kinds of habits: good, bad and neutral. Neutral habits are neither good nor bad but use up psychic energy that might be better directed into cultivating good habits. Here are some examples: a good habit is when you’re disciplined about eating healthy food; a bad habit is watching violent TV shows before going to bed, thereby disturbing your sleep; a neutral habit might be doing Sudoku puzzles. My challenge to you, Cancerian, is to dissolve one bad habit and one neutral habit by replacing them with two new good habits. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, cosmic forces will be on your side as you make this effort. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Dear Dr. Astrology: Good fortune has been visiting me a lot lately. Many cool opportuni- ties have come my way. Life is consistently interesting. I’ve also made two unwise moves that fortunately didn’t bring bad results. Things often work out better for me than I imagined they would! I’m grateful every day, but I feel like I should somehow show even more appreciation. Any ideas? -Lucky Leo.” Dear Lucky: The smartest response to the abundance you have enjoyed is to boost your generosity. Give out blessings. Dispense praise. Help people access their potentials. Intensify your efforts to share your wealth. A nice time and sensuality is just a call away. Travelers most welcome! Sorry, no blocked calls. Tia 541-870-6127. DOLLAR STORE GIRL SAW YOU AT SAT MARKET 6/10 I saw you waving! Family comes first. Don’t be so tough on yourself. I would have done the same. The camel has toes/ Copilot, show me the way. Is your sink in sync? You had blonde hair and loose jeans on. I have a black beard. We talked about the best farm for berries. Same time next week? I will buy you a coffee or tea. I S AW YOU DONATIONS FOR WHITE BIRD D- Still being accepted at the EW Office. Hygiene products needed. Thank you to those who have given! I know that you’ve moved on, but I can’t stop thinking about our time back East. Please write. TO THE MAN IN THE RED PICKUP, from the woman in the blue jeep ... Hiya. a photo sharing space VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Years ago, a fan of my work named Paul emailed to ask me if I wanted to get together @ adrianmcld with him and his friend when I visited New York. “Maybe you know her?” he wrote. “She’s the artist Cindy Sherman.” Back then I had never heard of Cindy. But since Paul was smart and funny, I agreed to meet. The three of us convened in an elegant tea room for a boisterous conversation. A week later, when I was back home and mentioned the event to a colleague, her eyes got big and she shrieked, “You had tea with THE Cindy Sherman.” She then educated me on how successful and influential Cindy’s photography has been. I predict you will soon have a comparable experience, Virgo: inadvertent contact with an intriguing presence. Hopefully, because I’ve given you a heads up, you’ll recognize what’s happening as it occurs and take full advantage. March for Truth, Eugene 6/3/17 LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’ll never get access to the treasure that’s buried out under the cherry tree next to the ruined barn if you stay in your command center and keep staring at the map instead of venturing out to the barn. Likewise, a symbol of truth may be helpful in experiencing deeper meaning, but it’s not the same as communing with the raw truth and may even become a distraction from it. Let’s consider one further variation on the theme: The pictures in your mind’s eye may or may not have any connection with the world outside your brain. It’s especially important that you monitor their accuracy in the coming days. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to go gallivanting so heedlessly into the laby- rinth. Or maybe it was. Who knows? It’s still too early to assess the value of your experiences in that maddening but fascinating tangle. You may not yet be fully able to distinguish the smoke and mirrors from the useful reve- lations. Which of the riddles you’ve gathered will ultimately bring frustration and which will lead you to wisdom? Here’s one thing I do know for sure: If you want to exit the labyrinth, an opportunity will soon appear. Use the hashtag #ewexposure for a chance to be featured in EW. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Over the years I’ve read numerous news reports about people who have en- gaged in intimate relations with clunky inanimate objects. One had sex with a bicycle. Another seduced a side- walk and a third tried to make sweet love to a picnic table. I hope you won’t join their ranks in the coming weeks. Your longing is likely to be extra intense, innovative and even exotic, but I trust you will confine its expression to unions with adult human beings who know what they’re getting into and who have consented to play. Here’s an old English word you might want to add to your vocabulary: “blissom.” It means “to bleat with sexual desire.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your life in the coming days should be low on lightweight diversions and high in top-quality content. Does that sound like fun? I hope so. I’d love to see you enjoy the hell out of yourself as you cut the fluff and focus on the pith . . . as you efficiently get to the hype-free heart of every matter and refuse to tolerate waffling or stalling. So strip away the glossy excesses, my dear Capricorn. Skip a few steps if that doesn’t cause any envy. Expose the pretty lies, but then just work around them; don’t get bogged down in indulging in negative emotions about them. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Inventor, architect and author Buckminster Fuller lived to the age of 87. For 63 of those years, he kept a detailed scrapbook diary that documented every day of his life. It included his reflec- tions, correspondence, drawings, newspaper clippings, grocery bills and much other evidence of his unique story. I would love to see you express yourself with that much disciplined ferocity during the next two weeks. According to my astrological analysis, you’re in a phase when you have maximum power to create your life with vigorous ingenuity and to show everyone exactly who you are. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You have a cosmic license to enjoy almost too much sensual pleasure. In addition, you should feel free to do more of what you love to do than you normally allow yourself. Be unapologetic about surrounding yourself with flatterers and worshipers. Be sumptuously lazy. Ask others to pick up the slack for you. Got all that? It’s just the first part of your oracle. Here’s the rest: You have a cosmic license to explore the kind of spiritual growth that’s possible when you feel happy and fulfilled. As you go through each day, expect life to bring you exactly what you need to uplift you. Assume that the best service you can offer your fellow humans is to be relaxed and content. 3970 W. 1st Ave 541-844-1777 www.green-hill.org Opie and Rupert are a bonded pair of shy yet sweet cats. They were found as a couple of feral kittens and taken in by a Good Samaritan for several years. When the Good Samaritan feel on hard times, Opie and Rupert were surrendered to First Avenue Shelter and placed in foster care. They are both quite bashful and it takes them some time to warm up to new people. Once they get to know you, they are aff ectionate and cuddly. Opie and Rupert are looking for a quiet home where they can get some time and space to adjust, after that, lap sitting and sun beam naps are a must. You or a family member may qualify for the Oregon Health Plan (OHP) A family of four earning up to $2,829 a month may qualify for adult coverage. For FREE OHP application assistance, call 541-543-5484 Tue -Fri, 10am-6pm and Sat 10am-5:30pm HOMEWORK: Do a homemade ritual in which you vow to attract more blessings into your life. Report results at FreeWillAstrology.com. If you want to stop drinking Alcoholics Anonymous can help GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. 30 June 15, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com EVI by phone 24 hours: 541-342-4113 www. eviaa.org | www.aa.org
