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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (March 16, 2017)
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY R O B B R E Z S N Y ARIES (March 21-April 19): The more unselfish and compassionate you are in the coming weeks, the more likely it is you will get exactly what you need. Here are four ways that can be true: 1. If you’re kind to people, they will want to be kind to you in return. 2. Taking good care of others will bolster their ability to take good care of you. 3. If you’re less obsessed with I-me-mine, you will magically dissolve psychic blocks that have prevented cer- tain folks from giving you all they are inclined to give you. 4. Attending to others’ healing will teach you valuable lessons in how to heal yourself — and how to get the healing you yearn for from others. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I hope you will consider buying yourself some early birthday presents. The celebration is weeks away, but you need some prodding, instigative energy now. It’s crucial that you bring a dose of the starting-fresh spirit into the ripening projects you’re working on. Your mood might get overly cautious and serious unless you infuse it with the spunk of an excited beginner. Of course only you know what gifts would provide you with the best impetus, but here are suggestions to stimulate your imagination: a young cactus; a jack-in-the-box; a rock with the word “sprout” written on it; a decorated marble egg; a fox mask; a Photoshopped image of you flying through the air like a superhero. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Many Geminis verbalize profusely and acrobatically. They enjoy turning their thoughts into speech and love to keep social situations lively with the power of their agile tongues. Aquarians and Sagittarians may rival your tribe for the title of The Zodiac’s Best Bullshitters, but I think you’re in the top spot. Having heaped that praise on you, however, I must note that your words don’t always have as much influence as they have entertainment value. You sometimes impress people more than you impact them. But here’s the good news: In the coming weeks, that could change. I suspect your fluency will carry a lot of clout. Your communication skills could sway the course of local history. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your world is more spacious than it has been in a long time. Congrats! I love the way you have been pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and into the wilder frontier. For your next trick, here’s my suggestion: Anticipate the parts of you that may be inclined to close down again when you don’t feel as brave and free as you do now. Then gently clamp open those very parts. If you calm your fears before they break out, maybe they won’t break out at all. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I like rowdy, extravagant longing as much as anyone. I enjoy being possessed by a heedless greed for too much of everything that feels rapturous: delectable food, mysterious sex, engrossing in- formation, liberating intoxication and surprising conversations that keep me guessing and improvising for hours. But I am also a devotee of simple, sweet longing . . . pure, watchful, patient longing . . . open-hearted longing that brims with innocence and curiosity and is driven as much by the urge to bless as to be blessed. That’s the kind I recommend you explore and experiment with in the coming days. I Saw You I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M D AT I N G S E R V I C E S DONATIONS FOR WHITE BIRD S THE INVISIBLE ***it’s reFUNd time.*** Still being accepted at the EW Office. Thank you to those who have given! Don’t know what that was that blazed through downtown at 12th Wed Eve. However the No Swagger award you should receive. “Patron” act your age oh yeah Bravo for the Hot Wheels Unison Treat. Say I can teach my Grandson that one. Peace LOL Ugly Gal HAHA Right Not! Spoil yourself, have some FUN, think out- side the box. Indulge yourself with a gentle touch, sensuality, slow hand. Attentive. Foot Fetish? Travelers most welcome. Professional men only. No blocked calls. Tia 541-870-6127. On pearl walking north, 3/10 Friday 1:30 ish pm All lit up smiling. You look beautiful as ever. Remember! Love HOMESICK SHE EYES ME LIKE A PISCES I S AW YOU Life’s no picnic here without you. The ants took over the blanket and tainted the spread. OUT OF CONTROL There is an eternal summer in the grateful heart. Signed, Aries. CHARRED WITCH Formerly accused gold digger, whore, ani- mal corpse abuser, liar, bad actor, societal leech, a.k.a. “the half that makes you whole”? Uncomfortable? Really? GECKO GIrL, I SAW YOU J 6:21 Cheers for the wake up call. That mirror of integrity was a painfully delicious cookie. S 6:20 VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know that forbidden fruit you’ve had your eyes on? Maybe it isn’t so forbidden any more. It could even be evolving toward a state where it will be both freely available and downright healthy for you to pluck. But there’s also a possibility that it’s simply a little less risky than it was before. And it may never become a fully viable option. So here’s my advice: Don’t grab and bite into that forbidden fruit yet. Keep monitor- ing the situation. Be especially attentive to the following questions: Do you crave the forbidden fruit because it would help you flee a dilemma you haven’t mustered the courage to escape from? Or because it would truly be good for you to partake of the forbidden fruit? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I expect you will get more than your usual share of both sweetness and tartness in the coming days. Sometimes one or the other will be the predominant mode, but on occasion they will converge to deliver a complex brew of WOW!-meets-WTF! Imagine chunks of sour apples in your vanilla fudge ripple ice cream. Given this state of affairs, there’s no good reason for you to be blandly kind or boringly polite. Use a saucy attitude to convey your thoughtfulness. Be as provocative as you are tender. Don’t just be nice — be impishly and subversively nice. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I want to gather your darkness in my hands, to cup it like water and drink.” So says Jane Hirshfield in her poem “To Drink.” I bet she was addressing a Scorpio. Does any other sign of the zodiac possess a sweet darkness that’s as delicious and gratifying as yours? Yes, it’s true that you also harbor an unappetizing pocket of darkness, just like everyone else. But that sweet kind — the ambrosial, enigmatic, exhilarating stuff — is not only safe to imbibe, but can also be downright healing. In the coming days, I hope you’ll share it generously with worthy recipients. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Saturn has been in your sign steadily since September 2015 and will con- tinue to be there until December 2017. Some traditional astrologers might say you are in a phase of downsizing and self-restraint. They’d encourage you to be extra strict and serious and dutiful. To them, the ringed planet is an exacting task-master. There are some grains of truth in this perspective, but I like to emphasize a different tack. I say that if you cooperate with the rigors of Saturn, you’ll be inspired to become more focused and decisive and disciplined as you shed any flighty or reckless tendencies you might have. Yes, Saturn can be adversarial if you ignore its commands to be faithful to your best dreams. But if you respond gamely, it will be your staunch ally. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Born in the African nation of Burkina Faso, Malidoma Somé is a teacher who writes books and offers workshops to Westerners interested in the spiritual traditions of his tribe. In his native Dagaare language, his first name means “he who befriends the stranger/enemy.” I propose that we make you an honorary “Malidoma” for the next three weeks. It will be a favorable time to forge connections, broker truces and initiate collaborations with influences you have previous considered foreign or alien. WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs fi nd their forever homes Tofu is a beautiful, aff ectionate 12 year old tux gal. This talkative girl is looking for a family to love and spoil her for the rest of her days. She is very loyal and came into our rescue program after her guardian passed away which was very hard on her. Tofu recently had a full dental cleaning and senior blood work (which looked great) so she is in tip-top shape to go home! Please stop by S.A.R.A.'s Treasures at 871 River Road in Eugene any day between 10am and 6pm to meet Tofu and all of her rescued adoptable friends. 871 River Road • 607-8892 • Open Everyday 10-6 www.sarastreasures.org OREGON HORSE RESCUE OregonHorseRescue.com 541-520-0371 GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. 30 March 16, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue 3970 W. 1st Ave 541-844-1777 www.green-hill.org Lady is a 19-year-old Arabian mare. She is very sweet, and also one of our most spirited residents. She most defi nitely does not show her age. She was started under saddle by a trainer with no buck or other problems. She is green, but very willing to learn and please. Adoption fee $350. OregonHorseRescueAndRehab@gmail.com Tue -Fri, 10am-6pm and Sat 10am-5:30pm calm and bright, but eventually cracks will appear. Here’s the corollary to that rule: EVERY partner is imperfect. Regardless of how cool, kind, attractive, or smart they may seem in the early stages, they will eventually unveil their unique flaws and troubles. Does this mean that all togetherness is doomed? That it’s forever impossible to create satisfying unions? The answer is HELL, NO! — especially if you keep the following principles in mind: Choose a partner whose problems are: 1. interesting; 2. tolerable; 3. useful in prodding you to grow; 4. all of the above. HOMEWORK: What are the main dreams you want to accomplish by 2025? Testify at Freewillastrology.com. Marley is a 5 year old female Beagle mix that was used as a puppy farm for many years, dumped at a shelter, and put on the euthanasia list after all her puppies had been adopted. We saved her, literally in the knick of time, brought her to safety, and promised we would fi nd her the perfect family to live out the rest of her life with; and she has alot of life left to live!! She is an absolute gem! Marley loves everyone, men, women, and children of all ages. She is an experienced momma and loves other dogs. She enjoys playing, tossing and chewing on toys, a comfy dog bed, and going on walks. Marley has a beagles nose and will follow a scent she catches wind of; so a secure yard or staying in her harness on a leash is a must! She prefers to not be locked in a kennel and will tell you so if you do. Marley is very smart and knows how to use her feet to stand up on you but usually listens when you tell her down. Overall she is sweet, gentle, quiet, and very easy for anyone to fall in love with! Email WigglyTailsDogRescue@yahoo.com. Annie is a calm and loving lady. She enjoys spending time exploring her environment and likes playing with cat toys. Annie can be a bit nervous around other cats, but seems to do well with calmer dogs. She can be a bit shy around new people as well, but once she gets to know you, she is happy to sit in your lap for some aff ection. Annie is looking for a nice, low-key home where she can get the peace and quiet she has been searching for. If you are looking for a furry, laid-back roommate, Annie is the one for you. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): EVERY relationship has problems. No exceptions. In the beginning, all may be PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Would you like some free healing that’s in alignment with cosmic rhythms? Try this experiment. Imagine that you’re planning to write your autobiography. Create an outline that has six chap- ters. Each of the first three chapters will be about a past experience that helped make you who you are. In each of the last three chapters, you will describe a desirable event that you want to create in the future. I also encour- age you to come up with a boisterous title for your tale. Don’t settle for My Life So Far or The Story of My Journey. Make it idiosyncratic and colorful, perhaps even outlandish, like Piscean author Dave Eggers’ A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. EW EXPOSURE WILL RETURN NEXT WEEK!
