Eugene weekly., November 23, 2016, Image 49

i gift guide i
metaphorical coal
Santa’s list isn’t the only one that includes someone
who deserves coal. You really hate the idea of parting with
cold, hard cash to bestow them with any kind of holiday
cheer, and like hell you’re breaking out the glue gun to
craft for their cold, shrunken hearts.
In the spirit of the generosity of Mike Pence, make a
donation in their name. Think — and we mean really think
— of the snarkiest thing you could give money to. Planned
Parenthood is a great place to start, but the Eugene Mission
(eugenemission.org), Greenhill Humane Society (green-hill.
org) and Mount Pisgah Arboretum (mountpisgaharboretum.
com) are worthy of your generous gift. Perhaps the Eugene
Symphony (eugenesymphony.org) for the world’s most
hardcore headbanger. Even if the idea of giving a gift to
them makes your skin crawl, you know that a deserving
nonprofit will have a slightly better 2017 because of your
gift.
Or ship that annoying person a glitter bomb. Pick up
glitter and fill your Christmas cards. Punishment to the
guilty rendered.
Happy holidays, and enjoy that the end of 2016 is
almost here.
May 2017 be better.
IZAKAYA
C
MEIJI
COMPANY
WHISKEY BAR
OLD-SCHOOL COCKTAILS
JAPANESE COMFORT FOOD
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131 E. 5th Ave. • 687-2805
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RAMEN SHOP
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AFTER 11PM
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Eugene Weekly’s GIFT GUIDE 2016 13