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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 30, 2014)
I Saw You FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY R O B B R E Z N Y I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M ARIES (March 21-April 19): On my 15th birthday, I finally figured out that eating dairy products was the cause of my chronic respiratory problems. From that day forward, I avoided foods made from cow’s milk. My health improved. I kept up this regimen for years. But a month ago, I decided to see if my long-standing taboo still made sense. Just for the fun of it, I gave myself permission to gorge on a tub of organic vanilla yogurt. To my shock, there was no hell to pay. I was free of snot. In the last few weeks, I have feasted regularly on all the creamy goodies I’ve been missing. I bring this up, Aries, because I suspect an equally momentous shift is possible for you. Some taboo you have honored for a long time, some rule you have obeyed as if it were an axiom, is ripe to be broken. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who won a Nobel Prize in Economics, says that consulting experts may be useless. In his study of Wall Street traders, he found their advice was no better than information obtained by a chimpanzee flipping a coin. Meanwhile, psychologist Philip Tetlock did a 20-year study with similar results. He found that predictions made by political and financial professionals are inferior to wild guesses. So does this mean you should never trust any experts? No. But it’s important to approach them with extra skepticism right now. The time has come for you to upgrade your trust in your own intuition. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’m a big fan of logic and reason, and I urge you to be, too. Using your rational mind to understand your experience is a very good thing. The less stock you put in superstitious head trips and fear-based beliefs, the smarter you will be. Having said that, I recommend that you also make playful use of your creative imagination. Relish the comically magical elements of your mysterious fate. Pay attention to your dreams, and indulge in the pleasure of wild fantasies, and see yourself as a mythic hero in life’s divine drama. Moral of the story: Both the rational and the fantastical approaches are essential to your health. (P.S. But the fantastical needs extra exercise in the coming weeks.) CANCER (June 21-July 22): Sorry, Cancerian, you won’t be able to transform lead into gold anytime soon. You won’t suddenly acquire the wizardly power to heal the sick minds of racists and homophobes and misogynists. Nor will you be able to cast an effective love spell on a sexy someone who has always resisted your charms. That’s the bad news. The good news is this: If you focus on performing less spectacular magic, you could accom- plish minor miracles. For example, you might diminish an adversary’s ability to disturb you. You could welcome into your life a source of love you have ignored or underestimated. And you may be able to discover a secret you hid from yourself a long time ago. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Cosmopolitan magazine is famous for offering tips on how to spice up one’s sex life. Here’s an example: “Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations, like peanut butter and honey or whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and mix up yummy treats all over your lover’s body.” That sounds crazy to me, and not in a good way. In any case, I recommend that you don’t follow advice like that, especially in the coming days. It’s true that on some occasions, silliness and messiness have a role to play in building intimacy. But they aren’t advisable right now. For best results, be smooth and polished and dashing and deft. Togetherness will thrive on elegant experiments and graceful risks. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You are not as broken as you may think you are. Your wounds aren’t as debilitating as you have imagined. And life will prove it to you this week. Or rather, let me put it this way: Life will attempt to prove it to you — and not just in some mild, half-hearted way, either. The evidence it offers will be robust and unimpeachable. But here’s my question, Virgo: Will you be so attached to your pain that you refuse to even see, let alone explore, the dramatic proof you are offered? I hope not! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Kenneth Rexroth wrote a poem called “A Sword in a Cloud of Light.” I want to borrow that image. According to my astrological analysis and poetic intuition, you will generate the exact power you need in the coming weeks by imprinting your imagination with a vision of a sword in a cloud of light. I don’t want to get too intellectual about the reasons why, but I will say this: The cloud of light represents your noble purpose or your sacred aspiration. The sword is a metaphor to symbolize the new ferocity you will invoke as you imple- ment the next step of your noble purpose or sacred aspiration. I S AW YOU AND SO IF.. You were her, despite our story’s furor and blur.. t’would truly be your dear-frightening step in turn...to risk more and further-con- trastingly discern..culpability for past and allowance for enlightened future...Love.. simple Love When: Thursday, January 31, 2013. Where: So purely alive in dreams,..it wakes me. You: Woman. Me: Man. #903234 ALL FOR REASON not for nothing..if ye are she sought for..you would know how hard I fought for...HER.. cajoled,invited,demanded,pried,pulled, and prayed for...to what end yet?..I took the heartfelt wager...I bet all..for a lovely fall. When: Thursday, January 31, 2013. Where: unsafe window opening...at your invita- tion... You: Woman. Me: Man. #903233 STORIES SIMPLE SORROW... blindgirl...& exhale..a message sent through time gets lost along the way..my life is anything but simple..just sad.. When: Monday, January 27, 2014. Where: WINKs chance to see sadness & joy.... You: Woman. Me: Man. #903232 OREGON WINE LAB CLUELESS (AGAIN) I saw you working at the Oregon Wine Lab. SILVER FOX! 40’s?? Your voice makes me weak in the knees. When: Saturday, January 25, 2014. Where: Oregon Wine LAB. You: Man. Me: Woman. #903230 You wrote a song? Would love to hear it. The fog is lifting, maybeÖ at least i’ve removed the foot from MY mouth. You? Enjoying your poetry - more, please. When: Wednesday, January 22, 2014. Where: when I opened my eyes. You: Man. Me: Woman. #903225 NOT FOR NAUGHT? PATIENCE - yes, but these rhymes, clues and riddles confuse and confound, when Ö seems it could be simpler. love the intrigue, but miss you. we can handle this, remem- ber... When: Thursday, January 31, 2013. Where: still in my dreamsÖ why?. You: Man. Me: Woman. #903229 A WAKING HEART blindgirl...&UL..the spell of hypnotizm I cast can only be broken with a touch & soft words spoken in real time... When: Saturday, January 25, 2014. Where: traces of a trance written in WINK.... You: Woman. Me: Man. #903228 IF..YOU LOVE ME... 41 BUS Show It..Prove It..Say It..Do It... Hey Mr....i love..Brownstone..and Guns and Roses.. wake- up on the count of 3.. 1,2,3! When: Friday, January 24, 2014. Where: Dryer, Comics, Music, Mothballs, & Woodrats;). You: Man. Me: Woman. #903227 First day we exchanged some glances (I have a curly mohawk). Then you bumped me on your way off the bus and your apolo- gies were adorable. Next time introduc- tions? When: Thursday, January 16, 2014. Where: 41 bus. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #903231 ..used to give me heartburn now I just miss the spice..and the cowboys that come with it... When: Friday, January 24, 2014. Where: variety..the spice of life..that gives it FLAVOR. You: Man. Me: Woman. #903226 TEX MEX SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every autumn, the bird species known as Clark’s nutcracker prepares for its winter food needs by burying 30,000 pine nuts in 5,000 places over a 15-square-mile area. The amazing thing is that it remembers where almost all of them are. Your memory isn’t as prodigious as that, but it’s far better than you realize. And I hope you will use it to the hilt in the coming days. Your upcoming decisions will be highly effective if you draw on the wisdom gained from past events — especially those events that foreshadowed the transition you will soon be going through. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Can you imagine what it would be like to live without any hiding and pretending? How would you feel if you could relax into total honesty? What if you were free to say exactly what you mean, unburdened by the fear that telling the truth might lead to awkward complications? Such a pure and exalted condition is impossible for anyone to accomplish, of course. But you have a shot at accomplishing the next best thing in the coming week. For best results, don’t try to be perfectly candid and utterly uninhibited. Aim for 75 percent. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It’s a favorable time to gather up resources and amass bounty and solicit help and collect lots of inside information. I won’t call you greedy if you focus on getting exactly what you need in or- der to feel comfortable and strong. In fact, I think it’s fine if you store up far more than what you can immediately use -- because right now is also a favorable time to prepare for future adventures when you will want to call on extraordinary levels of resources, bounty, help, and inside information. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Extravagant wigs became fashionable for a while in 18th century England. They could soar as high as 4 feet above a woman’s head. Collections of fruit might be arrayed in the mass of hair, along with small replicas of gardens, taxidermically stuffed birds, and model ships. I would love to see you wear something like that in the coming week. But if this seems too extreme, here’s a second-best option: Make your face and head and hair as sexy as possible. Use your alluring gaze and confident bearing to attract more of the attention and resources you need. You have a poetic license to be shinier and more charismatic than usual. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One of your anti-role models in the coming weeks is the character that Piscean diva Rihanna portrays when she sings in Eminem’s tune “Love the Way You Lie.” Study the following lyrics, mouthed by Rihanna, and make sure that in every way you can imagine, on psychological, spiritual, and inter- personal levels, you embody the exact opposite of the attitude they express: “You’re just gonna stand there and watch me burn / But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts / You’re just gonna stand there and hear me cry / But that’s all right, because I love the way you lie.” To reiterate, Pisces, avoid all situations that would tempt you to feel and act like that. HOMEWORK: Do a homemade ritual in which you vow to attract more blessings into your life. Report results at FreeWillAstrology.com. GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 [or] 1-900-950-7700 HOROSCOPES. 30 January 30, 2014 • eugeneweekly.com HOW WE DO Falling for you is so much fun, there I said it! From noon years to cuddle fights, you have me wanting more. Heres a cheers from we to us! Kisses. When: Wednesday, January 22, 2014. Where: under the Om. You: Woman. Me: Man. #903224 SONG TO WAKE-ME blindgirl....when I walked you home many years ago...we thought of a way to awaken me...a dryer ran...a boombox played brown- stone for us... When: Wednesday, January 22, 2014. Where: this is all I have WINK..... You: Woman. Me: Man. #903223 MONKEY ONESIE WINCO! Red_Monkey_Onesie_Girl_at_Winco! Why you gotta be so_cute!! and look at me flirtatious- ly!!? I was w/people and maybe you were with your-mom.. Maybe we can have anoth- er-chance? Send me a-message, and lets- see-if-we-get-along!:D When: Monday, January 13, 2014. Where: Winco Eugene. You: Woman. Me: Man. #903222 SPANISH PRACTICE You are a charmer with the lethal combina- tion of stylish layering, an easy laugh and you look good when you mount your bike. Keep doing what you do. Where: wandering goat. You: woman. Me: man. When: Tuesday Jan. 21 LAZAR’S BAZAR 541-747-BLUE(2583) BLUE CARS, BLUE SKIES 20% OFF PIPES & FLAGS WITH THIS COUPON 57 W. BROADWAY 541-687-0139 HUNKY DORY PIPE & TOBACCO Eugene’s Largest Selection Since 1972 541-345-1853 Mon-Sat 10am-8pm • Sun 12pm-6pm IT’ S F RE E TO PL AC E AN I SAW YOU! I Saw You AN D ITS AS E ASY AS SE N DI NG AN E MAI L . E MAI L : ISAW YOU@EUGE N E WE E KLY.COM
