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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 2013)
B LOVE N OW FR EE! E U G E N E W E E K LY ’ S L O C A L D AT I N G S I T E MEMB W I N K- K I N K . C O M E R S H IP SAVAGE S W O R D S O F W I S D O M BY DA N S AVAG E I am a 28-year-old gay man living in a major East Coast city. I recently connected with a guy on a vanilla dating website, and we are quickly developing a real interest in each other. After talking online for a bit, we exchanged numbers. Our fi rst conversation was through text messages for the better part of six hours. The next night, we talked over the phone for an hour or two. And the third consecutive night was our fi rst date. In that fi rst text conversation, he stated that he is into “everything from mild to wild.” The comment came without solicitation from me, during a con- versation that he initiated about sexual preferences (e.g., top or bottom, dom or sub). This was a major turn-on for me, increasing my interest in him. I’ve had limited experience with BDSM, but I am looking to try more, so I was thrilled to receive this message. I am very familiar with one kink: diapers. It’s a huge part of my sexual identity, and I ideally want it to be part of a sex life with my partner. Normally I would wait until months into a new relationship to bring up the topic, but since he opened the door, should I talk about it now? Should I drop hints to see how he responds? Since this has the potential to be more than just a hookup, what’s the best way to proceed? Nervously Anticipating Padded Pants In Erotic Situations WOMEN SEEK ING MEN MECHANIC FOR FANTASIES NEED MOUTH SOAPED WETHOTREADYTOGO just moved to Eugene and want to find a woman to fulfill my sexual desires , also fulfill there’s in return. Daniel1989, 24, g I’m an older married man who needs some- one to clean my dirty mouth. I’d like to meet another guy to take a soapy shower togeth- er and punish me with soap. soapy2, 74 I’m ready to try some fun.I do it all.I want you to show me everything you know.I love cock but i’m also down with some nice pussy in my face. hotsexybitch92, 21 HOT BI SLUT Hot young blonde lookin for fun in all shapes, sizes, sexes, etc.. Love drugs and sex. Hmu for pure fun! NikkiW1111, 22, g MEN SEEK ING WOMEN VERY INTENSE SCORPIO I just need A Girl thats wants to have some long intense sex. I want to go all night and then some more. ScOrPiOblueyes, 29 IWANNAKINKYSUTTOFUCK NEW TOY Bad boy who loves to fuck women also have buddy who i tag team women with looking for a girl or girls who are dtf only. iwannafuck23, 23, g I’d like to have a good time with you or with a group/copule. JarGoose, 21 MARRIED SEEKING DISCRETION FUN AND GAMES I’m not sure what to say. I’m looking for some fun that could turn into more fun ;). TheEugenian64, 20, g MEN SEEK ING ? I am educated, passionate, reasonably intelligent, well-read. My absolute greatest pleasure is bringing my lover to the heights of pleasure-and keeping her there! I like good, intelligent conversation, oral, fencing. Homabird, 53 EVANGELICAL DARK KNIGHT Evangelical Hedonist seeks converts and those devoted to a life of infernal pleasures of the flesh. We are all on our own path, so the only unfaithfulness is to oneself. Satansson666, 57 MISC NEW INTELLIGENT ACCOMMODATING I’m not part of this lifestyle, would like to meet a SINGLE lady for intelligent conversa- tion over dinner in a semi public place, and would like to fulfill your fantasy. AGentleman, 40, g SEX DRUGS REVOLUTION Looking for friendly encounters with dis- creet sex, at least for now. I enjoy conversa- tion with my coffee and often drugs with my sex.lets fuck while the system collaps- es around us. Dr_X, 23 MEN SEEK ING MEN WANT SOME FUN! I am a straight male but want to suck off a guy and swallow his cum. I hope this will be returned. Never have done this before. Wanna be first? firsttimeguy, 41, g Enjoy Commercial Free Television www.ctv29.org/schedules Seven o’clock in the morning, And the rays from the sun wakes me, I’m stretchin’ and yawnin’, In a bed that don’t belong to me , And a voice yells, “Good morning, darlin”, from the bathroom, Then she comes out and kisses me, And to my surprise, she ain’t you, Now I’ve got this dumb look on my face, Like, what have I done? How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morn- ing sun? Must of lost the track of time, Oh, what was on my mind? From the club, went to her home, Didn’t plan to stay that long. Frances waxing specialist 541-510-5773 there’s nothing I can’t wax barebodywaxingstudio.com SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NUDE HOURS DAILY NOON TO 2:15 AM NO COVER DANCER AUDITIONS CALL 541-517-7196 MON/WED $15 TABLE DANCES NO COVER 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 541-762-1503 KAMA SUTRA SALE 25% OFF EDUCATION BOOKS & DVD’S 25% OFF GAMES 25% OFF 25% OFF BACHELORETTE PARTY SUPPLIES Adult Shop 290 River Rd | 86784 Franklin Blvd | 720 Garfield www.e-adultshop.com - 541.636.3203 I’ve long advised kinksters who are dating vanillas — or presumed vanillas (PVs), I should say, as it’s not uncommon for a presumed-to-be-vanilla partner to reveal kinks of their own after a partner discloses their kinks — to wait until the PV has gotten to know them before disclosing. (Ironically, of course, every kinkster is a PV until the moment of disclosure.) Since so many true vanillas have a knee-jerk, negative reaction to kinks, it’s only fair that kinksters have a chance to let a new partner get to know them before opening up. That way, a vanilla can weigh any prejudices they might have about kinky people (they’re dangerous and depraved, not BF or GF material) against what they’ve come to know (and like) about the kinkster they’ve been dating. Sometimes it works out (the vanilla comes to enjoy the kink because it gives someone they care about pleasure, the vanilla grows to enjoy the kink themselves, the vanilla gives the kinkster a pass to enjoy their kink with others), and sometimes it doesn’t work out (the kink is a deal-breaking libido-killer and the kinkster winds up dumped). But your case is different, NAPPIES, as the gentleman you’re courting has already disclosed his kinks. According to my treasured and frequently consulted copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette, the proper response to a disclosure of kinks by a suitor is the prompt disclosure of one’s own kinks. Now, very few people who say they’re into “everything” are actually into every single thing. A Google search for “toaster fetish” pulls up 260,000 results. They’re not all pages created by sexual fetish- ists — some are pages created by kitchen-appliance afi cionados — but some are sites created by actual toaster pervs. And just as your new boyfriend probably wasn’t thinking “even toasters!” when he said “everything,” NAPPIES, he probably wasn’t thinking “even diapers!” Because while diapers are a huge turn-on for you and other diaper fetishists, they’re not something that leaps to mind when even a kinky person says “from mild to wild.” And this presents you with a problem. As Emily Post put it: “A sexual fetish for an item of attire so strongly associated with childhood (indeed, with the nursery itself!) will give pause to even the most depraved of suitors.” As such, NAPPIES, you may be within your rights to drop hints about your diaper fetish instead of fl at-out disclosing it. Ask him if he really meant everything and see what he says. If he says, “Yes, everything,” then spill — or leak — your kink. But if he hedges his bets, NAPPIES, let him get to know you a bit better, and explore some of his kinks, before disclosing your own. Here’s the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version: I’m a sexually inactive (by my own choice) het- erosexual female in my late 40s who up until recently used to be much heavier and in rapidly declining health. Since my type 2 diabetes diagnosis, I have achieved substantial weight loss, a much-improved diet, and a little Clairol Nice ’n’ Easy. I now look and feel infi nitely better than I ever did in my late 20s. People in my apartment building have been doing double takes, and recently I even got carded at my favorite restaurant dining out with a female neighbor friend half my age! While I admit the newly acquired positive attention is fun (especially getting carded! Who? Me?!? Ha-ha!), I’m happy staying single and am not interested in developing any LTRs with the opposite sex. The weird thing is, the majority of guys doing any fl irting with me seem to be much younger than I am. A wise, older female friend of mine once commented that men “don’t know what to make” of someone like me. Okay, I think. So am I too narcissistic? I can’t seem to relate or really keep conversations going. Plenty of younger men in their 20s and 30s are nice looking, but I’ll be 50 next summer! I’m Not A Cougar Though I’m Very Energized “The fi rst thing I’d like to say to INACTIVE is congratulations on tackling her type 2 diabetes with such determination and getting such fabulous results!” says Cindy Gallop, a former high-fl ying ad- vertising executive who is now the founder and driving force behind MakeLoveNotPorn.com, a web- site and movement designed to blow up pornography. Gallop is a fan of younger men, INACTIVE, and younger men are fans of Gallop. “Of course she’s getting so much fl irtatious attention from younger guys!” says Gallop. “There are many young men out there interested in and attracted to older women — but society considers that relationship model less socially acceptable than the older-man/younger-woman version, which is why she’s so surprised. Well, the good news is she can stay single, not embark on any LTRs with the opposite sex, and still have a lot of fun with younger men, without worrying about keeping conversa- tions going — because the fun doesn’t need to involve much talking.” If “sexually inactive by choice” was a choice you made back in your heavier, unhealthier days due to a lack of confi dence, Gallop says that this is the perfect time for you to get back in the game — and younger men are the perfect playmates. “INACTIVE is in her sexual prime, and she should go for it!” says Gallop. “The age issue is purely a societal judgment and is irrelevant. Younger man (lots of stamina, very short recovery period) + older woman (confi dence, experience, knows what she wants) is a fantastic combination. And I speak as someone who knows.” A couple of pro tips from Gallop for older women who are dating younger men: “Number one: Apply the same fi lter to her dates that I do — regardless of how casual the relationship, he needs to be a very nice person. Number two: If she hasn’t been sexually active for a while, check out MakeLoveNot- Porn.com. She should be aware of what she may encounter in younger men that’s been learned from porn, and how to talk about what she prefers in that context openly, honestly, and lightheartedly.” On this week’s Savage Lovecast: How to be a professional but friendly unicorn. Find it at savagel- ovecast.com. CONNECT WITH EUGENE WEEKLY facebook.com/eugeneweekly • twitter.com/eugeneweekly FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST MY WEEKLY PODCAST EVERY TUESDAY AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE eugeneweekly.com • A ugust 1, 2013 39
