FREE WILL
B
N OW
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E ZN Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the course of her world travels, writer Jane Brunette has seen many wonderful
things — as well as a lot of trash. The most beautiful litter, she says, is in Bali. She loves the “woven palm leaf of-
ferings, colorful cloth left from a ceremony, and fl owers that dry into exquisite wrinkles of color.” Even the shiny
candy wrappers strewn by the side of the road are fun to behold. Your assignment, Aries, is to adopt a perceptual
fi lter akin to Brunette’s. Is there any stuff other people regard as worthless or outworn that you might fi nd useful,
interesting, or even charming? I’m speaking metaphorically as well as literally.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Old Testament tells the story of a man named Methuselah, who supposedly
didn’t die until he was 969 years old. Some Kabbalistic commentators suggest that he didn’t literally walk the
earth for almost ten centuries. Rather, he was extra skilled at the arts of living. His experiences were profoundly
rich. He packed 969 years’ worth of meaningful adventures into a normal life span. I prefer that interpretation,
and I’d like to invoke it as I assess your future. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Taurus, you
will have Methuselah’s talent in the coming weeks.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the coming weeks, I’m expecting your life to verge on being epic and majestic.
There’s a better than even chance that you will do something heroic. You might fi nally activate a sleeping poten-
tial or tune in to your future power spot or learn what you’ve never been able to grasp before. And if you capitalize
gracefully on the kaleidoscopic kismet that’s fl owing your way, I bet you will make a discovery that will fuel you
for the rest of your long life. In mythical terms, you will create a new Grail or tame a troublesome dragon — or
both.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jackalopes resemble jackrabbits, except that they have antlers like deer and tails
like pheasants. They love whiskey, only have sex during storms, and can mimic most sounds, even the human
voice. The milk of the female has curative properties. Strictly speaking, however, the jackalope doesn’t actually
exist. It’s a legendary beast, like the mermaid and unicorn. And yet Wyoming lawmakers have decided to honor
it. Early this year they began the process of making it the state’s offi cial mythical creature. I bring this to your
attention, Cancerian, because now would be an excellent time to select your own offi cial mythical creature. The
evocative presence of this fantastic fantasy would inspire your imagination to work more freely and playfully,
which is just what you need. What’ll it be? Dragon? Sphinx? Phoenix? Here’s a list: tinyurl.com/MythicCritters
FR EE!
MEMB
E R S H IP
I S AW YOU
ELVIS
YOU ARE SO. FLY!!!! Lakers be KILLIN’ IT
When: Monday, February 18, 2013. Where:
Horsehead. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#902745
RED BEARDED FISHERMAN
Flathead, channel, blue cat...throwing
sticks and wagging tails. Flowers, corn and
sweet peas. Storms and worms. Jack and
Jim. Time to come home, your ladies miss
you. When: Wednesday, June 17, 2009.
Where: with the crabs. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #902744
GREEN SUZUKI
If ME-redcar Recently out of the hospital &
am on oxygen awaiting a Heart/Lung trans-
plant YOU-red-blonde hair Rear-ended me
then turned and drove away “Do you know
what KARMA is?” When: Wednesday,
February 13, 2013. Where: 3rd &
Washington. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#902742
CUSSING MOM
Cussing at your daughter @ LTD downtown.
“Don’t you ever f’ing use that word. Do you
f’ing hear me?” you hissed.(not edited)I
regret not standing up for your little girl.
When: Friday, February 15, 2013. Where:
Downtown Eugene. You: Woman. Me: Man.
#902741
HEY!!!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The temptation to hide what you’re feeling could be strong right now. You may wonder
if you should protect yourself and others from the unruly truth. But according to my analysis, you will be most
brilliant and effective if you’re cheerfully honest. That’s the strategy most likely to provide genuine healing, too
-- even if its initial effects are unsettling. Please remember that it won’t be enough merely to communicate the
easy secrets with polite courage. You will have to tap into the deepest sources you know and unveil the whole
story with buoyantly bold elegance.
Who’s making out NOW?! You have no idea
how many inconvenient lady-boners you
give me. You are totally awesome dipped in
a whole gallon of sexy and sprinkled with
rad. When: Friday, February 15, 2013.
Where: In my pants. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#902740
BABY LOVE
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The word “chain” may refer to something that confi nes or restricts. But it can also
mean a series of people who are linked together because of their common interests and their desire to create
strength through unity. I believe that one of those two defi nitions will play an important role in your life during
the coming weeks, Virgo. If you proceed with the intention to emphasize the second meaning, you will minimize
and maybe even eliminate the fi rst.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): People in Sweden used to drive their cars on the left-hand side of the road. But a grow-
ing body of research revealed it would be better if everyone drove on the right-hand side. So on Sept. 3, 1967,
the law changed. Everyone switched over. All non-essential traffi c was halted for hours to accommodate the
necessary adjustments. What were the results? Lots of motorists grumbled about having to alter their routine
behavior, but the transition was smooth. In fact, the accident rate went down. I think you’d benefi t from doing a
comparable ritual sometime soon, Libra. Which of your traditions or habits could use a fundamental revision?
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When a woman is pregnant, her womb stretches dramatically, getting bigger to
accommodate the growing fetus. I suspect you’ll undergo a metaphorically similar process in the coming weeks.
A new creation will be gestating, and you’ll have to expand as it ripens. How? Here’s one way: You’ll have to get
smarter and more sensitive in order to give it the care it needs. Here’s another way: You’ll have to increase your
capacity for love. Don’t worry: You won’t have to do it all at once. “Little by little” is your watchword.
E U G E N E W E E K LY ’ S
L O C A L D AT I N G S I T E
S
Thank you for everything you have done for
me. your sweet embrace melts my heart.
forever your Daisy Bell When: Saturday,
April 24, 2010. Where: 331 monroe. You:
Man. Me: Woman. #902739
HOT AND COLD
At the thrift store on a Wednesday. shower
hooks not the only cuteness. Thanks for the
smile and wave :) When: Wednesday,
February 13, 2013. Where: saint vincent
de paul. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902738
W I N K- K I N K . C O M
DEAREST PETER...
PINKY
I’ve missed you every day since your return
to Neverland... my balcony window remains
open... oh to soothe your tender soul... W.
When: Monday, February 11, 2013. Where:
my window. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#902737
Creep closer to my campfire. Sing songs
with me. Cover your ears while I tune my
guitar. Whisper in my ear, racy words with-
out laughing. My heart aches without you.
When: Saturday, February 9, 2013. Where:
Mesa Verde with FS Ranger. You: Woman.
Me: Man. #902730
PINKY & POOTER
Found your adventures -and the intercon-
nectedness I experience with you both-
more intriguing than the morning paper,
and as entertaining as my imagination
allows! Thanks for sharing! Never a dull
moment. When: Saturday, February 9,
2013. Where: Lost In Love.. You: Man. Me:
Man. #902736
GARED
Hope you are feeling better and hope to see
you again soon! You know where to find me
Fridays 11:30am-2:00pm @ LCC. Come say
hello. :) When: Monday, January 14, 2013.
Where: LCC. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#902735
BY THE KEYSTONE
Miss Clee-O says: Joe: Your new venture is a
great success! Your next invention will be
too.. Always keep a civil tongue and good
things will come to you! When: Wednesday,
January 2, 2013. Where: On 5th. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #902734
80’S NIGHT UMBRELLA
Dude, I offered $10 to climb up there and
get it. If you have it, I have your $10. Claim
your prize. The owner hates me unless I get
it. When: Thursday, February 7, 2013.
Where: downtown. You: Man. Me: Man.
#902729
CARMEN AT ANDERSON’S
You gave me a marvelous haircut (and
gabbed well) at Anderson’s. Then you quit
the joint. I want you to cut my hair again.
Seriously. When: Thursday, September 20,
2012. Where: Anderson’s Barbershop. You:
Woman. Me: Man. #902727
POET RACHEL
Your stunning performance at the Tsunami
slam in Oct. 2012 deserves an encore. You
deserve to win; Eugene deserves your wit.
Hear my entreaty: please come back. When:
Saturday, October 13, 2012. Where:
Tsunami Books. You: Woman. Me: Man.
#902726
HALLELUJAH
YOU, DHS OFFICE
Love sparkles fiercely As before, now, and
ever covalent bonding Happy Valentine’s
Day J-dog Love P-funk When: Monday,
February 11, 2013. Where: Everywhere.
You: Woman. Me: Man. #902733
You work for DHS on Chad Drive. You asked
me my nation. I said, “Choctaw,” you said,
“Beautiful.” I don’t think you understand
how that brightened my day. THANK YOU.
When: Wednesday, February 6, 2013.
Where: Front desk of the office. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #902725
KUNTRI BOI 88
I love u sooo much cinnamon bear!!! Im
nothingwithout u... Ur mdy everything.. my
world my happiness my lover.... ( maybe
future husband... Idk).But I do know we’re
perfect together When: Tuesday,
September 18, 2012. Where: LTD. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #902732
NICE... YET FLIRTATIOUS
Thank-you for your “flub”. It was very kind &
flattering. I like the rain too, in good time. I
feel like a curious monkey in your compa-
ny. Coffee? Tea? Rainy-walk? When:
Wednesday, February 6, 2013. Where: 76
Gas Station on Blair Blvd. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #902731
NY GYROS 11TH
POOTER
I saw your sense of adventure as your most
redeeming quality. Still do. We always did
feel the same we just saw it from a different
point of view. Pinky When: Thursday,
September 17, 2009. Where: On the NU
Trail. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902724
OUR PERFECT WORLD
Our perfect world constantly rotates into a
better place; better smiles, laughter, friend-
ship, trust, spontaneity, love and happi-
ness, can’t wait for what is to come. Happy
Thursday!!! When: Monday, February 4,
2013. Where: Waking up next to me. You:
Woman. Me: Man. #902722
I LOVE YOU. BEST FRICKIN’ GYROS ON THE
PLANET! And super handsome to boot.
When: Tuesday, February 5, 2013. Where:
Rumble in the Bronx - ooh the hunger. You:
Man. Me: Woman. #902723
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you fl oss your teeth while you’re meditating? Do you text-message and
shave or put on make-up as you drive? Do you simultaneously eat a meal, pay your bills, watch TV and exercise?
If so, you are probably trying to move too fast and do too much. Even in normal times, that’s no good. But in the
coming week, it should be taboo. You need to slowwww wayyyy dowwwn, Sagittarius. You’ve got … to compel
yourself … to do … one thing … at a time. I say this not just because your mental and physical and spiritual health
depend on it. Certain crucial realizations about your future are on the verge of popping into your awareness —
but they will only pop if you are immersed in a calm and unhurried state.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): To make your part of the world a better place, stress-loving workaholics may
need to collaborate with slow-moving underachievers. Serious business might be best negotiated in places like
bowling alleys or parking lots. You should defi nitely consider seeking out curious synergies and unexpected
alliances. It’s an odd grace period, Capricorn. Don’t assume you already know how to captivate the imaginations
of people whose infl uence you want in your life. Be willing to think thoughts and feel feelings you have rarely if
ever entertained.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Gawker.com came up with colorful ways to describe actress Zooey Deschanel. In
a weird coincidence, their pithy phrases for her seem to fi t the moods and experiences you will soon be having.
I guess you could say you’re scheduled to have a Zooey Deschanel-according-to-Gawker.com kind of week.
Here are some of the themes: 1. Novelty ukulele tune. 2. Overemphatic stage wink. 3. Sentient glitter cloud.
4. Over-iced Funfetti cupcake. 5. Melted-bead craft project. 6. Living Pinterest board. 7. Animated Hipstamatic
photograph. 8. Bambi’s rabbit friend. 9. Satchel of fairy dust. 10. Hipster labradoodle.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You may have heard the thundering exhortation, “Know thyself!” Its origin is
ancient. More than 2,400 years ago, it was inscribed at the front of the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Greece. As im-
portant as it is to obey this command, there is an equally crucial corollary: “Be thyself!” Don’t you agree? Is there
any experience more painful than not being who you really are? Could there be any behavior more damaging to
your long-term happiness than trying to be someone other than who you really are? If there is even the slightest
gap, Pisces, now is an excellent time to start closing it. Cosmic forces will be aligned in your favor if you push
hard to further identify the nature of your authentic self, and then take aggressive steps to foster its full bloom.
HOMEWORK: Is it possible there’s something you really need but you don’t know what it is? Can you guess
what it might be? http://Freewillastrology.com
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 18778734888 [] 19009507700
34
February 21, 2013 • eugeneweekly.com
follow us on twitter:
twitter.com/eugeneweekly