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KINK Eugene Weekly’s Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le • Connect with local singles Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Questions? info@wink-kink.com Jayme or Jennifer 541-484-0519 WANNA GET NAUGHTY?! Discreet, with lots of dirty fun and exploring ;-). I am open to trying anything, I feel without sex the world wouldnt be fun at all. need2please, 25 FUNNY, NERDY, PIERCED HORNY AND BORED moved to the city solo. Bored. Need a man for playtime. I’ve a lot of stamina and like fun. I’m in excellent shape and want some- one to play playtime. Mtnfun, 38 BEAUTIFUL GODDESS MAMA SEXROOKIE looking for a VERY SUBMISSIVE beautiful goddess to be my “almost slave” to rub me all over and play with me, lick me/touch me, make me feel good all over! mamaBLU, 37, g 24 y/o looking for discreet sexual encounters. Prefer women who can tolerate a first-timer at sex. Liars, thieves, and tyrants need not concern themselves with me. Renvalt, 24, g A FOR EFFORT? Back after hiatus. Friends say I’m pretty. Not first time but not every day. Not ordinary. I want men who like blonde, curvy mid aged women for sex games. tin- kerbell, 44 BODACIOUSBI LOOKING FOR SQUIRTER I’m looking for a lady to have a little fun with, no strings attached. I like a curvy womanly lady with a sense of adventure, positive attitude and confidence. beeLuscious, 26 Looking for a woman who can Squirt, good girls or bad girls, just Squirting girls. neonfrog, 47 CUM ON, LADIES! Just looking for Hannahottie, 21 fun! Hiya! My name is Robert, I’m 22, 6’3”, 190 lbs(working on losing a few more pounds). I’m new to Oregon. I want to try light bond- age. Thedude, 22, g NEED DIRECTION? I will train you properly without hurting you. Handsome, profes- sional. Specialize in younger trainees who need to be tied to my bed,brought to the max. Must love licking,sucking too. 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I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of fashions, I developed a HUGE crush on Tegan and Sara when I was nearly 20. I like the idea of being with women, but I have never had a major crush on anyone since. So I’m really confused over what my sexual orientation actually is. I know many hetero-identifying people experience same-sex crushes, but can someone’s whole sexual orientation just change overnight? My confusion is compound- ed by the fact that I’ve never even held someone’s hand, been kissed, or done anything else. I really want to experience such things, have an awesome relationship, and generally just stop feeling like a complete loser. Any help appreciated! Awfully Nervous Over Newness “When I was young, I dated boys,” said Tegan Quin, one half of the popular indie duo that prompted you to question your sexuality. “I never thought about love or being ‘in love.’ And I never thought about sexuality. I was lucky to have a group of friends much more interested in each other than dating. And so I was fairly untroubled about my status. Until I kissed a girl. Then I knew who I really was. I was gay.” Oh, hey, I hope you don’t mind that I shared your letter with Tegan and Sara, ANON. I fi gured you might appreciate getting some advice directly from your potentially life-altering crush. Like you, ANON, Tegan used to assume she was straight. “I’d gone most of my teens crushing on guys like Jared Leto, thinking that must make me straight,” says Tegan. “Even though secretly I was dreaming of make-outs with Claire Danes. I thought my crush on Jared Leto vetoed my secret girl crush on Claire Danes. Maybe that was society weighing down on me. Perhaps it was peer pressure keeping me inside the lines of heterosexuality. Or, likely, I just liked them both.” Based on your letter, ANON, Tegan suspects that you might like both. “Sexuality is not hard lines,” says Tegan. “It’s not black and white. Not for all of us, anyway. Some people know their whole lives who they are. Some people don’t. My advice: Go and kiss a girl, go and hold a boy’s hand. Don’t worry about who you are until you fi nd out what you like. Maybe you’ll like both — and yay if that’s the way it turns out, because that means you have twice as many people to fall in love with.” And while Tegan doesn’t think a person’s sexuality can change overnight, she believes — she knows from personal experience — that a person’s awareness of their sexuality can change overnight. “You can have an awakening,” says Tegan. “Like I did when I fi rst kissed a girl. A whole new world can absolutely be waiting for you if you end up feeling up to exploring it. Good luck!” Tegan and Sara’s newest album is Get Along, and they’re about to embark on a tour of North America. For info, tour dates, music, merch, and more, go to www.teganandsara.com. I’m a twentysomething professional snowboarder. I have a problem that I don’t really have anybody to talk to about. When I jerk it, I have to put a fi nger in my asshole to fi nish. Plain and simple, that’s the only way I can come. I’ve tried to learn to come without the fi nger, but I can never reach climax. I can’t even come in a girl’s pussy without sneaking a fi nger in my back door. I go to great lengths to hide it — push her head in a pillow, etc. — because I don’t want them to think I’m gay. (I have no problem with other people being gay, just FYI. It’s just that you do not want snowboard groupies thinking you’re gay. Girls talk, and then you never get laid again and all of your bros fi nd out you’re sticking things up your butt.) This letter is actually time sensitive. I’m pretty distraught that last night one of my regular chicks saw me do it! To- day she won’t return my texts. I want to convince her I was scratching an itch or something. I’m worried it might already be out there that I’m “gay.” How do I learn to come without prostate stimulation? Butt-Using Manly Man Entirely Distressed I get a dozen letters a week from girls whose boyfriends “can’t come.” These girls tell me that their boyfriends get hard and stay hard and seem to enjoy fucking them — and fucking ’em and fucking ’em — but no matter how long their boyfriends fuck ’em, their boyfriends never climax. Invariably, these girls ask me if their boyfriends are gay. Because otherwise they would come during straight sex, right? Your letter made me wonder how many of these girls are dating guys like you, BUMMED. That is, guys who need a poke in the prostate in order to come but either haven’t fi gured that out yet or know it but don’t wanna risk it in front of their girlfriends because their girlfriends might think they were gay if they did that. But their girlfriends think they’re gay anyway — because they’re not poking and not coming. So it looks like you’re damned if you do, BUMMED, and damned if you don’t. Stick a fi nger in your butt and come, and your girlfriend — excuse me, your groupiefriend — might think you’re “gay.” Don’t stick a fi nger in your butt and don’t come, and your groupiefriend might think you’re “gay.” A few practical suggestions: Get a butt plug. It’s a butt toy that your sphincter muscles hold in place — picture a small lava lamp that fi ts in your ass — and once you get it in, BUMMED, it won’t slip out. Provided your groupiefriends aren’t touching your asshole or looking directly at it, they won’t even know it’s there. And a butt plug might help you break the strong mental association you’ve made between fi nger-in-hole and climaxing. A few dozen look-ma-no- fi nger-in-hole orgasms, courtesy of a butt plug, might help you transition to look-ma-nothing- in-my-hole orgasms. Get a girlfriend. I’m not a noted proponent of monogamous coupling — go ahead and google me — so please don’t dismiss this as standard-issue advice-professional moralizing. But you might benefi t from opening up to one person, someone you can trust with your secret — that will require an investment of time and emotional energy, however. But the payoff could be huge. Imagine having sex with someone you didn’t have to hide from, BUMMED, someone who you didn’t have to worry about judging you because she understood. Get over yourself. You’re a heterosexual guy who needs to be on the receiving end of a little heterosexual anal play during heterosexual sex in order to get off heterosexually. There are lots of straight guys like you out there. Your sexuality isn’t the problem; your need for prostate stimulation isn’t the problem. The problem is your shame and your desire to hide this aspect of your sexuality from your groupies and your bros. You may not be gay, BUMMED, but you do need to come out. DEAR READERS: David Rakoff died last week. He was a writer, a contributor to This Ameri- can Life, and an all-around spectacular human being. His books — Half Empty, Don’t Get Too Comfortable, and Fraud — are terrifi c. If you haven’t read David’s books, please read them now. My heart goes out to David’s family and to his countless friends. To get an idea of how many lives David touched, spend some time at www.rorevans.tumblr.com. Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 541-762-1503 WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM EUGENE WEEKLY AUGUST 16, 2012 31
