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KINK Eugene Weekly’s Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le • Connect with local singles Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Questions? info@wink-kink.com Jayme or Jennifer 541-484-0519 NO SHAME N’THAT Georgian Gem gotta find his bell of the ball. Don’t ask for much, just big boobs, athletic, tan skin, blonde hair, and nails to scratch my back before we rail. SouthernCharm, 19 NEED TRAINING SEXFIEND, ORGANIZED, ROMANTIC, CUM ON, LADIES! Im moving to eugene from iowa and im looking for a strong handsome sexy man to show me around and be my “friend”. hotbuck, 41, g Just looking for Hannahottie, 21 SMOOTH AS DESERT fun! I’m bored and want to try new things. Middle eastern, good looking, very fit, and ready to crash and burn! izzy, 28 COUGARS/MILFS Im just a normal guy looking for a milf or a cougar. I’ve never really been into kinky sex, but I guess it just depends on the person. d&d free. DuckzFan11, 27, g LOVE YOUNGER MEN I am a sexy curvy redhead! I am seeking a hot, fit, frat type, younger guy for casual meetings and possibly more! HotCougar, 29, g THAT’S MZBITCH Dominant woman interested in submissive man, woman or cou- ple for discrete play. I adore pain sluts but abhor brats. Be real, be truthful, or be on your way. MzBitch, 46 Eat Cozmic Think Local FREE PITCHER ORGANIC SODA! With any Large Signature Pizza While supplies last U ONE per person Not valid with other offers U Dine-in only I am 5’2” and well built. I haven’t had a lot of experience with sex. Would like to find someone to show me what else there is. POOK3YB3AR, 27 LETTING LOOSE Looking for an open minded dis- crete clean open minded female for a no strings encounter, any age looking to helping me fulfill some of my kinky sexual fanta- sies and desires. wantingfun, 37, g NEEDS AND TOYS! 18 AND OPEN 18 year old college student look- ing for any age females to have fun with. robbiethree, 18 Liveing life on a do not want to miss out on different open mind- ed life stiles. ramarabbit, 53 SUMIT TO ME write to me why I should tie you up and use you for my pleasure slave. yourmine02, 36, g NOW OFFERING VEGGIE BURGERS 19 Types Dogs, Sausages & Vegan Sausage 9th & Garfi eld OPEN: 5am-6pm M-F & 5am-2pm Sat Hot Dogs Served Any Time! Home Made Soups M - F v m (541) 344-0067 XXXXXXXX 199 West 8th, Eugene U 541-338-9333 www.cozmicpizza.com (check out the shows!) GO AHEAD, PEEK WINK-KINK.COM SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NOON TO 2:15 AM NO COVER WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage Is it normal for my man to be so attracted to boobs that even though mine are beautiful and perfect, my boyfriend still wants to look at every other woman with a set of big boobs that he can? Aren’t mine enough? Boyfriend Ogles Other Breasts You sound like a new reader, BOOB, so before we get to the advice, I wanna welcome you to the Savage Love family. With that out of the way … Nope, yours aren’t enough. Yep, it’s normal for a straight man to look at women’s boobs — boobs on the woman he’s with, boobs on women he’s not with, boobs on women who don’t technically exist and can’t be gotten with, e.g., Veronica Lodge, Lara Croft, Nicki Minaj. Did you think checking out boobs was a symptom of leukemia or something? And while your set may be perfect in every pos- sible way — which would make you the Mary Poppins of boobs — your man is still gonna check out other women’s sets. But your man shouldn’t be a dick about it. While it’s perfectly normal for a partnered straight guy to check out other women — just as it’s perfectly normal for a partnered straight woman to check out other men (see you at Magic Mike this weekend, ladies) — your man should be discreet. He can train himself to look without looking like he’s looking; he can learn to check out other women without ogling them. It’s not about hiding the fact that he’s looking, it’s about caring enough to take your feelings into consideration, BOOB, to say nothing of the feelings of the other women he’s checking out. And if he can look without being an inconsiderate dick about it, BOOB, you should let him look without being an insecure bitch about it — don’t blow up or melt down if you catch him taking a quick, subtle look at another woman’s boobs. Because if he’s considerate enough to be discreet, BOOB, you can be considerate enough to turn a blind eye. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 15. I’m 20 now. In all the time we’ve been together, I’ve never had an orgasm. For a long time, I wanted to get a vibrator, but my boyfriend hated that idea and never wanted me to get one because he says he already feels like crap that he can’t get me off. Recently, I thought, “What the hell — I want to see what happens!” So I bought one on my own. The very fi rst time I used it, I got off in two minutes. Now I feel stupid for not buying one sooner. My question is … How do I tell him? Should I tell him? He always wanted to be the fi rst person to give me an orgasm, and as far as he knows, I still haven’t had one. Couldn’t Wait Forever Tell your boyfriend you bought a vibrator, CWF. If the boyfriend has a sad about your pur- chase — and your ability to climax (congrats!) — tell him that some women require the kind of intense, focused stimulation that only a vibrator can provide in order to get off, and, as it turns out, you’re one of those women. And he can still be the fi rst person to give you an orgasm: He can give you one with a vibrator in his hand. And if he acts like an insecure bitch about it, CWF, if he blows up or melts down, well … New vibrator, newly orgasmic — maybe it’s time for a new boyfriend, too? I am a woman who has been with my male partner for one year. We live together and get along well. Our relationship is “monogamish,” and we’re both totally GGG. The thing is, our sex has dwindled rapidly. I have a high sex drive and would prefer to be having sex more often. It really sucks being turned down all the time. When I bring it up, he gets mad and says I’m making him feel bad. But honestly, all I’m doing is letting him know that I’m hot for him. I am not trying to make him feel bad or put pressure on him. I now ignore my sexual urges unless he initiates something. But I feel hurt when he tells me how much he masturbates. He mastur- bates when I’m at work and when I’m asleep. He is always masturbating. As much as I enjoy self-pleasuring and know it’s good for a person to do, it seems he would rather masturbate than have sex with me. What’s a gal to do? Sadly Pensive And Neglected Kinkster A gal is to DTMFA, SPANK. Couples counselors and sex-advice professionals have a term for people who rebuff their partner’s sexual advances and then go out of their way to inform their partners that they’re masturbating while their partners are at work, asleep beside them, etc.: We call people like that assholes. Because someone who wounds his sex partner through active neglect, salts those wounds by making it clear that he’s jerking it in her absence, and then makes his partner feel like she’s the bad guy isn’t guilty of thoughtless cruelty. He’s guilty of intentional, mali- cious cruelty. Can’t you see what your boyfriend has already done to you? He’s trained you to “ignore [your] own sexual urges” — he’s trained you not to initiate, not to make any demands on him at all — and now you’re only sexual when he wants you to be sexual. It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend wants a girlfriend, SPANK, it sounds like he wants a Fleshlight that pays half the rent. DTMFA. <H=>+, NUDE HOURS DAILY Savage Love DANCER AUDITIONS CALL 541-517-7196 MON/WED $15 TABLE DANCES NO COVER 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 541-762-1503 Earthly Body Sale 25% OFF SELECT ITEMS 10% OFF MAX 4 MEN PRODUCTS CONFIDENTIAL TO PEOPLE WHO WEAR T-SHIRTS: Aydian Dowling was one of the three LGBT youths whose stories were featured in the It Gets Better special on MTV and LOGO earlier this year. Like many young trans men, Aydian needs “top surgery” — chest surgery that will bring his body into line with his gender identity — and this expensive surgery isn’t covered by health insurance plans. “Health insurance in the USA doesn’t cover transgender surgeries at all,” he says. “They’re covered in the UK, Canada, and Australia. The waiting lists are long, but at least it’s covered.” Aydian has a job — he’s a baker — but he doesn’t have health insurance through his workplace. Which means Aydian not only has to pay for his top surgery out of his own pocket, he also has to pay for all the preliminary blood work and tests, and any postoperative care that he might need. “A lot of trans people ask for donations on sites like ChipIn.com to help cover the costs of their surgeries,” says Aydian. “But raising the $6,000 that top surgery costs through dona- tions alone is pretty hard. And I wanted to give something back to people who donated.” To give something back, Aydian designed a line of T-shirts. His T-shirts — which are high quality, trans-themed, and really fuckin’ cool — cost Aydian $10 to produce, and he’s selling them for $20. Between the money Aydian and his wife, Jenilee, were given as wedding gifts and the money he’s raised selling his T-shirts, Aydian is just $300 from his $6,000 goal. Aydian had originally planned to stop selling his T-shirts once he hit his goal. But the shirts have been such a hit, Aydian has decided to keep selling them to help pay for other trans men’s top surgeries. You can check out Aydian’s shirts at www.point5cctshirtcompany.com. The T-shirts are trans-themed — T-Rex! — but anyone can buy and wear them. Check ’em out! Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM EUGENE WEEKLY JUNE 21, 2012 31
