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KINK Eugene Weekly’s Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le • Connect with local singles Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Questions? info@wink-kink.com Jayme or Jennifer 541-484-0519 GOOD VANILLA GIRLIE Back after hiatus. Friends say I’m pretty. Not first time but not every day. Not ordinary. I want men who like femininity and women who give and get relaxed pleasure. tinkerbell, 43 INDUSTRIOUS, ARTIST, CYNIC. Just looking for someone who wants to hook up now and again. Really enjoy my space, not look- ing for a relationship. Message me if you’re interested. Jabberwock, 26, g IN THE SHADOWS WET AND WILD CURIOUS WET PUSSY Fun and Fucking.... No strings..... loves to play and looking for intense pleasure. Pics upon request! Hereforyou, 42 I need of a woman’s touch, dying to know what it feels like when a beautiful female licks my pussy & ass, suck my tits and finger me. Pinkcurious, 33 MAD IRISH WOMAN Contradictory, argumentative, opinionated, regularly intense. You man enough to handle it? toohot, 43, g CURIOUS CRAVES EXPLORATIION BE MY SLAVE Im pretty into domination and have always wanted to find the lucky girl to be my slave for a night... or maybe more. 6”dick and and 1.8” width. 123ran- dom, 18 KNOCKED UP Young, pregnant 20 year old looking for her first female encounter. Hot and heavy encounter. babymakinprin- cess, 20, g I am looking for some fun after a self-inflicted period of abstinence..I’ve always been bi- curious, and would like to explore this. But I am also up for a good stuffing. mistresslis- salickylou, 29, g SEXPOT Hello. emino12, 28 HORNY YOUNG READY im 18 6’o” weigh 240 got hair down to my shoulders im lookin for a woman to have some fun with and teach me the ropes. so.when i.get.a girlfriend.ill be. bomb.in.bed. TAT420, 18, g A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN THICK,LUSCIOUS BROWNIE Im shy at first with a little confi- dence hidden in me. Im tryin to get myself out there and brake my walls.. well message me if ya wanna know more. Brown_ eyes, 19, ☎, g Looking to expand my horizons and calm my stormy seas. MPK, 46 PENNIES FOR PUSHING People call me Sissy. (; I like a little of everything, multi-col- ored, teeth sharp as a puppy and I’m a bit freaky. Come get it. sissy, 23, g I’m a easy going guy just moved out here.Looking for to spand time with someone from the area and show me some of the things to do. thegutch, 41 HORNY lets hookup. erwin, 42, g PORNSTAR IN TRAINING just trying to get in touch with my inner pornstar and provide the women of the earth just that one night that is a story for “the g THE MYSTERY GUY... Well this mystery guy has what it takes to make the girls happy at all times. Looking for any ladies who will want to take a chance in life. Epyon, 25 DOM./MISTRESS NEED. Mature,goodlooking male seeks youngish unconventional dom. Serve a mistress,your slave for p l e a s u r e . N e e d dominating,caned,harnessed on a lead.CBT very important.Do as you wish,not many limits-serious 19 Types Dogs, Sausages & Vegan Sausage Eat Cozmic Think Local FUN LOVING NERD Hey i’m a 26 year old guy in Eugene who loves to drink and do a “little” 420, party naked and have sex! no one over 40 please. Shambam_bamina, 26, 9th & Garfield FREE PITCHER ORGANIC SODA! OPEN: 5am-6pm M-F & 5am-2pm Sat Hot Dogs Served Any Time! Home Made Soups M - F With any Large Signature Pizza While supplies last U ONE per person Not valid with other offers U Dine-in only v m (541) 344-0067 XXXXXXXX 199 West 8th, Eugene U 541-338-9333 www.cozmicpizza.com (check out the shows!) Frances waxing specialist 541-510-5773 there’s nothing I can’t wax barebodywaxingstudio.com g i r l f r i e n d s ” . Streekerstreeter21, 21, imaginative kinks.Plus dinner. purpleballs, 66 WINK-KINK.COM g SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NUDE HOURS DAILY DANCER AUDITIONS NOON TO 2:15 AM CALL 541-517-7196 NO COVER MON/WED $15 TABLE DANCES NO COVER 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 541-762-1503 20% OFF ALL FUN FACTORY TOYS Savage Love WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage I have an awesome relationship with an awesome guy. He loves me and takes care of me. I’m GGG and he’s vanilla. I only draw the line at poop, animals, and children. But he’s never asked me for anything other than vanilla sex. Which is why I don’t know what to do. I went downstairs late the other night, and he was sitting on the couch masturbating while stroking the cat, which was sitting on his chest. The cat was sitting ON him, Dan, WHILE he was yanking himself. I don’t know if he saw me. I went right back upstairs and went to bed. In the morning, he acted like nothing happened. Now I don’t know what to do. Confront him? Get him help? Get rid of the cat? Can’t Analyze This Pets want to be petted, and some pets are pushy about getting their pet on. Bearing that in mind, CAT, I want you to pick the two likeliest scenarios out of these four options: A. Your boyfriend is attracted to your cat. B. Your awesome boyfriend—unlike so many other boyfriends—is capable of doing two things at once. C. Your boyfriend fantasizes about fucking the Almond Roca out of your cat’s ass. D. Your awesome boyfriend needed to rub one out and he was considerate enough to slip out of bed and go downstairs—so as not to wake you (he’s awesome like that)—and there he was, lying back on the couch, concentrating on the task at hand, when the cat jumped up on his chest. Now, you were there, CAT, and I wasn’t, which means you’re in a much better position to judge. But I think B and D are the likeliest scenarios: Your boyfriend was having a wank when the cat jumped on him, for a few moments he divided his attentions between stroking the cat and stroking himself—those moments you were unlucky enough to witness—and at some point he pushed the cat off his chest and turned back to the task at hand. But, again, you were there, CAT, I wasn’t. So did it look like your boyfriend was masturbat- ing about the cat, with the cat, or at the cat? Or did it look like your boyfriend was masturbat- ing in the immediate vicinity of the cat? These are questions that only you can answer. And here’s a question that only your boyfriend can answer, CAT, and I think you should put it to him: “I came down the other night and you were beating off with the cat sitting on your chest—what was that about?” And here’s the answer you’re likely to get: “I was jerking it and the cat jumped up on me and I petted her for a minute mid-wank—but I didn’t want to lose my hard-on and have to start all over, so the part of my brain that regulates higher boner function instructed my right hand to go into erection-maintenance mode. But I wasn’t perving on the cat, honey, I swear.” Your awesome boyfriend will say that even if he was perving on the cat, CAT. But if he has the decency and good sense to lie to you about it, you should have the decency and good sense to pretend to believe him. I’m a 25-year-old straight male who’s into big-dick porn. I’m not into the dicks per se, Dan. It’s the domination and dirty-talk aspects of big-dick porn that turn me on, i.e., hearing a woman say things like “That’s huge!” “Stop!” “You’re too big for me!” I’m not too bad off down there, but I want more. Signifi cantly more. Do you have any recommendations on enlargement techniques? Pumps, pills, whatever? I have a partner who is sub and very GGG. I would really like to be able to play these fantasies out, but I know nothing of the feasibility. An Enlarging Problem There’s nothing you can do to make your dick bigger. Pills only waste your money, pumps only bruise your dick. (Yes, a pump can make your dick look a little bigger, temporarily, but your temporarily bigger dick will also be a whole lot softer, AEP, and what’s the use of that?) Your only options for safely exploring your big-dick fantasies are strap-ons (“Not Just for Dykes Anymore”) and “cock extenders,” i.e., hollow dildos that a guy can wear on his dick. You’ll fi nd a nice selection of cock extenders here: http://tinyurl.com/cockextend. Finally, AEP, I trust that you stop when your girlfriend—or any woman—says, “Stop!” unless you and your partner have pre-agreed to a safe word that (1) isn’t “stop” but means “stop” and (2) allows her scream, “Stop!” to her heart’s content. I agree with almost everything you say, Dan, but I have one complaint: You have made sev- eral comments over the years bashing meth users! I know, I know—meth has a bad reputation. But people used to say that smoking pot caused insanity! Don’t believe the hype! Being a meth addict is not good, but occasional use never hurt anyone. I only do it maybe fi ve times a year, and unlike what you see in anti-meth ads, I’m not crazy, I don’t have holes in my skin, and I’m not a junkie. Instead, I’m a straight-A female student from a wealthy suburban family. You know when I really like to get some meth? Around fi nals, so that I have lots of extra time to study. Stop bashing meth, Dan! Occasional Meth User Your pot analogy is a big fail, OMU: Different drugs have different risks, to say nothing of different chemical compositions and psychotropic effects. That anti-drug crusaders overstated the dangers of marijuana to advance their anti-hippie, pro-incarceration, or blatantly racist political agendas does not prove that meth is safe. Meth, unlike pot, is highly addictive. While there’s no such thing as a fatal dose of pot, there is such a thing as a fatal dose of meth. And while abusing pot—and pot can be abused—makes a person lethargic and lardy, abusing meth makes a person crazy and dead. But hey, why should you take my word about meth, college girl? What do I know about meth? It’s not like I’ve ever used meth, right? “Most meth addicts started out feeling like meth was the perfect fi x to a ‘problem’ like needing extra time to study,” says gay porn star Trenton Ducati. “I started out using meth ‘occasionally,’ too. Pretty much all meth users start out that way. And it’s not novel to think your life is in control, and that you’ve got it all together—everybody who gets addicted to meth thinks that.” Trenton says that people who use meth—even occasionally—are the worst judges of whether they have a meth problem. “Meth wound up taking me places that I’m sure OMU doesn’t want to go,” says Trenton. “There is just no way to use meth safely. Even if she is not willing to listen to those who’ve come before her—and it sounds like she’s not—she could at least refrain from promoting a drug that has ruined so many lives.” (Gay-porn fans—particularly fans of behind-the-scenes pics of porn shoots—can follow Trenton Ducati on Twitter: @TrentonDucati.) And maybe you didn’t learn the word “sophistry” when you were cramming for the SATs, OMU, but you might want to look it up. It’s never too late to expand the ol’ vocabulary—or to put down the meth pipe. CONFIDENTIAL TO LGBT KIDS WITH CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PARENTS: Matthew Vines is your new best friend. Watch his video about what the Bible does and doesn’t say about be- ing gay and send the link to your mother and father: http://tinyurl.com/matthewvines. Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net • @fakedansavage on Twitter WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM EUGENE WEEKLY APRIL 5, 2012 35
