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Should I go ahead and divorce my fantastic wife of 23 years now because gay marriage is going to
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WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I headed north last week to do Savage Love Live — a rapid-fi re, slightly tipsy Q&A session — at the
University of Alaska Anchorage. It was my third visit to UAA and it was a blast. All of the questions in this
week’s column were submitted to me by UAA students and staffers.
PUSSOLOGIST
EXTRAORDINAIRE
PIERCED DICK
Someone to bite my cock, abuse
my cock, milk me, tie up my balls.
Luv26669u, 63
Savage Love
HUGECOCK YOUNGGIRL-
FRIEND NEEDSGIRLFRIEND
Want to try something new.girl-
friend wants to get a girlfriend
for our play.don’t do assume,its
kind of cross and my concerned
us way too big. Illustrate send
pictures. chat2u123, 43
UNEXPIRENCED 18YR MAN
recently turned 18 not vary inex-
perienced in sex have to go slow
with me. i am willing to try just
about anything. can not host. i
don’t like piercings. lostboy,
18, g
You might as well do it now, TFW, if only to beat the rush. Just in the last couple of weeks, the 9th Cir-
cuit ruled that California’s Prop 8 is unconstitutional, the governor of Washington State signed marriage
equality into law, and marriage equality campaigns made huge strides in Maryland and Maine. Pretty
soon, all the lawyers who specialize in “traditional divorce” are going to be booked solid as traditional
marriages buckle under the strain of all of this equality nonsense. Wait too long to get divorced, TFW, and
you may not be able to get divorced at all. Find a lawyer now!
I am with a girl who is a female ejaculator. It’s pretty cool, but the quantity of ejaculate is way too much.
Am I getting peed on here? — Tidal Wave
You’re not getting peed on. (Science says: female ejaculate ≠ urine.) But don’t take my word for it, TW:
Ask your girlfriend to piss on you sometime, and see if you can’t tell the difference.
My friend is a lesbian but recently started dating a gay man. They seem really happy. What does that
make them? They were both really active in the LGBT community before getting together. — Confused
Straight Ally
You see that “B” in LGBT, CSA? It stands for “bisexual,” and it’s there for a reason. Your friend may
have been B all along, or perhaps she’s just B for this one particular guy, and he’s B for her, but there’s re-
ally nothing to be confused about, and your friends can and should remain active in the LGBT community.
I WANT COCK!
i want cock, but like female
encounters also. hippipunli-
mus, 41
I know about your “price of admission” theory. What else do you have to offer by way of advice for a
healthy, lasting relationship? — Annoyed With Him
Frances
waxing specialist
541-510-5773
Selective, self-induced short- and long-term memory loss.
You have to learn to shrug off minor and sometimes not-so-minor annoyances — maybe even a be-
trayal or two over the decades — because an ability to forgive and truly forget is necessary for the survival
of any long-term relationship. If you’re having a hard time getting there, AWH, speak to your doctor about
medical marijuana.
I’m a lesbian, and my friend who is a bi male keeps asking me to peg him. How should I deal with this? —
Not Into Boys
If it doesn’t bother you, NIB, laugh it off. If it does bother you, slap him down.
there’s nothing I can’t wax
barebodywaxingstudio.com
How do you tell a more-than-a-friend that his hygiene is an issue? — The New Girlfriend
“Hey, big boy, you stink. Jump in the shower — there’s a blowjob in it for you.”
Advice for beginning buttsexers? We’re having trouble getting started. — Hole New World
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I can’t brag to my friends, but I need to brag publicly and anonymously: I had a threesome for the fi rst
time, and it was AWESOME. Highly recommended! — Fun Unicorn Completes Kinksters
Another perceived-to-be-monogamous couple that actually isn’t monogamous! Welcome to the
monogamish club, FUCK!
My husband wants to be spanked. This is beyond my comfort zone. What can I do to get over this ap-
prehension? Practice on the dogs and cats? — Can’t Go There
A woman who spanks her dogs and cats goes to actual jail, CGT, but a woman who spanks her husband
goes to GGG heaven. But if you simply can’t get over your apprehension, outsource those spankings to
your friendly local professional dominant.
My best guy friend had sex with me. Does that mean he loves me? — Holding Out Hope
TRY FOR
Free
Don’t be ridiculous, HOH. People have sex with people they don’t love all the time. It isn’t proof that
your guy friend doesn’t love you, of course, but it’s not proof that he does.
I recently broke off a relationship after my female partner demanded that I get a circumcision. I told her
I would get one if she did. She told me I was a sexist asshole. I don’t see where she gets off asking me to
mutilate myself if she won’t. Am I wrong? — Uncut About Anchorage
541.431.1828
You weren’t wrong to refuse to cut yourself for her, UAA, but you were wrong to equate “female
circumcision” with male circumcision. A woman who’s been “circumcised” — a woman who has been
subjected to genital mutilation — has had her clit cut off. The male equivalent would be the removal of the
head of the cock, not the foreskin.
Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 18+
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SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES!
With all the stress of jobs, relationships, kids, etc., what’s your advice for romance and great sex when
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You have heard that an ordinance to protect LGBT people from being evicted or fi red will be up for
a vote in Anchorage soon. Well, I am a bi woman in a het relationship who works in an offi ce where the
environment is akin to the Fellowship of the Bros. Recently, I attended a pride event where a coworker saw
me act in a very non-hetero way. I’m afraid this person will out me and I will be harassed at best and fi red
at worst. What can I do? — Unsafe At Work
Not much, sadly. LGBT people are not protected under the City of Anchorage’s antidiscrimination stat-
utes. There have been three attempts to add protections for LGBT people to the law; all three failed after
“Christian” activists protested, lied, demagogued, bullied mayors, and lied some more.
One Anchorage — a coalition of progressive organizations — gathered enough signatures to put a equal
rights initiative on the ballot in Anchorage. The vote is April 3, and passing Proposition 5 will make it il-
legal to discriminate against LGBT people in housing, public accommodation, employment, and credit.
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My advice is to give up on great sex. Not forever, JAJ, but for now. Make time for some good-not-great,
low-stakes, low-pressure, undemanding mutual masturbation sessions. Lie down together and get off
while dirty talking about the truly great marathon sex sessions you’re gonna have once your stress levels
drop. Then do it!
ALL FUN
FACTORY TOYS
HEY, LGBT SUPPORTERS: We scored some big victories in the last two weeks. But as we race toward
marriage equality in California, Washington State, Maryland, and New Jersey (don’t be such a fucking
coward, Christie!), we should remember that there are LGBT people living in cities, counties, and states
without any civil rights protections for queers. I hate to guilt folks into making political donations two
weeks in a row — last week, Planned Parenthood, this week, One Anchorage — but One Anchorage could
use our help. The haters are planning a big advertising campaign to block equality for LGBT people in
Anchorage. One Anchorage needs to get on the air and counter the hate and lies. Donate here: www.
oneanchorage.com.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
@fakedansavage on Twitter
EUGENE WEEKLY FEBRUARY 16, 2012 27