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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (July 28, 2011)
SWEET SAMMY DOG BELLA I’ve always loved you. But when he left, suddenly it was just you and me. You got me through it. You and your sloppy, wet, black nose...sniffing and snort- ing. Working it’s way through my warm covers and sheets on too many morn- ings. Your dark pair of bright and shiny, expectant border collie eyes staring into mine. Your tail wagging so hard, the wagging traveled up your body and made your head waggle back and forth as it rested on my mattress. I’m in a much better place now because of you. Thank you dearest Bella. You are our guardian, our warning system, the one who always loves us unconditional- ly. Let no man, especially the big guys, mess with your women. You will rip their throats out, or at least their pants. On the other hand, no one can resist your smiling face and loving personality. We love you. PET PERSONALS "OH BENSEN" JACKIE SHREVE you're so much like your father. Love you Benny! SAVE ME ROSIE Tanya’s been waiting so long for a purrfect home, most shelters would have put her to sleep by now. She’s gorgeous and long- ing to love you. Thanks for keeping us smiling and safe. ANGELO LEARY GARCIA TUB OF LOVE Johnny is a striking Maine Coon mix with piercing eyes. He has a thyroid issue that requires inexpensive daily medication. He is VERY loving and would do best in a quiet home envi- ronment. FROM FLASH RHODA AND ZELLA part of the EW office mongrel horde, give two paws up to all the rescues in town like Luv-a- Bull, LCAS and Save the Pets that help the pitties of Lane County get spayed, neutered and rehomed! to Jim the Farrier: Feel better soon! TAYLOR-MINOR PACK Mulder, Maui, Mako, Rylee and Willoughby. We love you guys so very much. Life would not be the same with- out you. We can't wait to move to our new home where you guys will have the most unbelievable yard ever. We thank you for keeping us moving everyday and making sure we feel loved from the talks, the kisses, and the never ending hugs. We miss you so much Scully and hope you are playing and having a great time in doggy heaven. Love mommy and mama. WESTMORELAND ANIMAL HOSPITAL Thank you for fixing Cookie up and taking such good care of her. TO NIGHT, EMPRESS OF CHEESE You've been the only constant in my life for 14 years. I love you to pieces - even when you meow for cheese in the middle of the night. You're the best kitty ever. DEAREST ISHMAEL Even though you passed on 12/2/10, I still miss you dearly everyday!!! I was so blessed to have had you for 12 years!! I miss your playful spirit and our daily walks, and your soulful brown eyes!! I hope your busy chasing squirrels and hanging out with the other friendly dogs, and running through open meadows as you did on the earth plane!!! Til we meet again, know I love you!! Namaste, Mom DEACON ROO The best snuggler in the world! Thanks for all the kisses and being the best Deacon dog ever. You make me smile every- day and I love you!! Love, your Momma... xo DEAR QUEEN CHARLES, I love you more than life itself. I think you are AWESOME, and I love the way your water smells when I slurp it. I don't even mind that you bit me; your ears are so curly and pretty. Let's go on a puppy date. Love, James Earl Bones WE LOVE YOU!!!! ELLIOTT You’ve been my best friend for nearly six years. You don’t judge or speak with words, and you help me connect with other people and get outside. You make me laugh, and you’re a great cuddler. I love you! Thanks for being in my life. Katie ANNNA & TEDDYBEAR You are the loves of my life. Thank you for your devotion, and your teachings. I miss both of you every sin- gle day. Please continue to visit me in my dreams. Your momma, Sarah. PHILBERT, you'll always be the coolest cat in the west! I love you HAZELNUT, i love you even if you are crazy hazy. way to keepus on our toes! DAISY MAE, you are so cute and sweet as the day is long. I love you so much. You make me so happy. I'm glad you came into my life. BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): I love how the poet Rachel Loden week’s fl ashy, self-celebratory vibes. describes her impressions of Daniel Borzutzky’s The Book of Interfer- ing Bodies. She says that reading it is like “chancing upon a secret lake full of trembling lilies that projectile vomit both poems and petroleum.” I call this imaginary scene to your attention, Aries, be- cause I’m wondering if you might encounter a metaphorically similar landscape in the coming week. The astrological omens suggest that you’re attracted to that kind of strange beauty, surreal intensity, and tenderness mixed with ferocity. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When I was 19 years old, I was wounded TAURUS (April 20-May 20): This would be an excellent time to ripen and fi ne-tune your independence. Would you be willing to try some experiments in self-suffi ciency that would inspire you to love yourself better? Is there anything you could do to upgrade your mastery of taking good care of yourself? By working on your rela- tionship with yourself, you will set in motion a magic that will make you even more attractive to others than you already are. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Even if you don’t usually consider yourself a matchmaker, you could be a pretty good one in the com- ing week. That’s because you will have more insight than usual about how to combine things in harmonious and evocative ways. In fact, I suspect you will possess a sixth sense about which fragments might fi t together to create synergistic wholes. Take maximum advantage of this knack, Gemini. Use it to build connections between parts of your psyche and elements of your world that have not been in close enough touch lately. CANCER (June 21-July 22): You already know what you need to know in order to make the dicey, spicy transition, Cancerian. Even more amazingly, you already have what you need. But for some rea- son, you don’t trust what you know and don’t believe you have what you need. So you’re still in a fretful mode, hunting far and wide for the magic key that you think still eludes you. I’m here to persuade you to stop gazing longingly into the distance and stop assuming that help is far away. Look underfoot. Check with what’s right in front of you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): During my years as a singer in rock bands, I’ve had a theatrical approach to performing. On some occasions, I arrive on stage from the back of the club. Dressed in leather and rags and witchdoctor fi nery, with a rainbow of fake eagle feath- ers splayed from my coiffure, I climb into a grocery cart, stand up like a politician giving the V for Victory sign with my outstretched arms, and have my bandmates wheel me through the crowd. I highly recommend that you arrange to make an equally splashy entrance in the near future, Leo. Picture yourself arriving at your workplace or classroom or favorite cafe in resplendent glory, maybe even car- ried on a litter or throne (or in a grocery cart) by your entourage. It would be an excellent way to get yourself in rapt alignment with this 30 JULY 28, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY PEPPER POTTS Thanks for being by my side for the last 13 ½ years and here’s too many many more. OLDIE BUT GOODIE Holly was rescued days before being killed for con- venience. She doesn’t like dogs, children or other cats, but would love to fol- low you around and purr in your lap. Come meet her at our new facility! Free Will Astrology I am Jack and I can chase and catch any ball. I am smart and cute and can jump real good. Sometimes I run off if the gate is left open. by a shotgun-wielding assailant on the campus of Duke University. A few years ago, I revisited the scene of the crime. For two hours I sat there meditating on the exact spot where I’d been shot. Among the questions I pondered was this: Had there been any benefi ts that came out of that diffi cult event? The answer was a defi nitive YES. I identifi ed several wonderful developments that happened specifi cally because of how my destiny was altered by the shooting. For instance, I met three lifelong friends I would not have otherwise encountered. My challenge to you, Virgo, is to think back on a dark moment from your past and do what I did: Find the redemption. (Read my full story here: http://bit.ly/StrangeBlessing.) LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In her multi-platinum song “Tik Tok,” pop star Ke$ha claims that she brushes her teeth with whiskey — Jack Daniels, to be exact. In interviews, she has said this is not a glamorous fi ction or rhetorical device; she really does it. “Jack Daniels is an anti-bacterial,” she told Vanity Fair. You might want to experiment with rituals like that yourself, Libra. At least for the next two weeks or so, it wouldn’t be totally crazy to keep yourself more or less permanently in a party mood. Why not prep yourself for unfet- tered fun from the moment the day begins? From an astrological perspective, you need and deserve a phase of intense revelry. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): English raconteur Quentin Crisp told the story of a veteran Hollywood fi lm actor giving advice to a younger actor just getting started. “You’re at a level where you can only afford one mistake,” the wise older man said. “The higher up you go, the more mistakes you’re allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it’s considered to be your style.” I think this perspective is perfect for you to meditate on, Scorpio. The time is ripe to fuel your ambitions and gain more traction in your chosen fi eld. And one of the goals driving you as you do this should be the quest for a greater freedom to play around and experiment and risk making blunders. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I have regular intimate com- munion with the Divine Wow (formerly known as “God”). Whether I “believe” in my Dear Companion is irrelevant — just as I don’t need to “believe” in a juicy Fuji apple while I’m eating it. That’s why athe- ists seem to me like goofy kooks, as fundamentalist in their own way as evangelical Christians. They have absolute, unshakable faith that there’s no such thing as our Big Wild Friend. Agnostics I can understand better; they’re like pre-orgasmic virgins who are at least open to the possibility of getting the full treatment. I offer these comments as a prelude to my prediction for you, Sagittarius, which is that you will soon have a very good chance to get up-close and personal with the Divine Wow. (If that offends you because you’re an atheist, no worry. Nothing bad will happen if you turn down the invitation.) CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): For more than 11 years, a New Jersey man named Jesus Leonardo earned an annual income of about $45,000 by gathering up and cashing in horse-racing tickets that had been accidentally thrown away by the people who bought them (tinyurl.com/ScrapTreasure). I suggest we make him your role model and patron saint for the coming weeks. Like him, you are in line to capitalize on discarded riches and unappreciated assets. Be on the lookout for the treasure hidden in the trash. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re now in a phase of your long-term cycle when life will be extra responsive to your vivacious curiosity. That’s why I encourage you to ask riveting questions. Ask whom? God, if that’s your style; your higher self, if that works better; or sources of wisdom and vitality you respect, if you prefer that. Here are four queries to get you started: 1. “What is the most magnifi cent gift I can give to life in the next three years?” 2. “How can I become more powerful in a way that’s safe and wise?” 3. “How can I cultivate my relationships so that they thrive even as my life keeps changing?” 4. “What can I do that will help me get all the love I need?” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I was considering the possibility of getting me and my family members those GPS devices that allow you to locate your car if you’ve forgotten where you parked it. But then I had second thoughts. Wouldn’t that be one additional thing encouraging us to let our memories atrophy? The conveniences that technology provides are wonderful, but at a certain point don’t they start threatening to weaken our brain functions? I invite you to medi- tate on this issue, Pisces. It’s time to have a talk with yourself about anything — gadgets, comforts, habits — that might be dampening your willpower, compromising your mental acuity, or rendering you passive. HOMEWORK: Find a new person or institution you can fi ercely respect. Report on your triumph at http://www.freewillastrology.com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
