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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (May 19, 2011)
WINK Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le (Charges may apply) SOUTHERNBELLE TREEHUG- GER HOPELESSROMANTIC BORED IN OREGON:] ‘Ello:] I moved here from Utah and can’t find a place to really chill. I’d like to meet some new friends and possibly find a rela- tionship:}. rainbowladybug, 18, g , #106227 justmoved here fromTN.im laid back.downtoearth lovemusic.art. goodbeer.goodbud.lookin to make new friends.meet new people.lovemusic!lovefestivals n shows.i am my own person.tat- toos.piercings.people whocan keep up with me.witty.outspo- ken.lil wild.like to party.if u wan- naknow morejust lemmeknow. southern_charmer89, 22, g , #106033 QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene Native,Single mother looking for someone to just hang out with and get to know on an intellec- tual level, not someone who just wants sex. Brat, 30, g , #106201 WORLD TRAVELER Sweet and honest person look- ing for the right, honest compan- ion and friend to share life’s experiences and pleasures. I love books, garage sales, NPR, the Ducks, football, track and traveling. loulou, 61, #101279 TG BLACK BARBIE TRANSEXUAL BLACK GODDESS Serving Massages, Companionship, and Good times. Incall only Mornings, Noon, and Late nights. Call and or text:Leave Voicemail. Serious callers. TsAhmazin, 25, g , #106186 DANCING FIDDLE MAKER SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE Newly single Shy guy, looking for the right one, gonna take my time deciding. SinglySHY, 31, g , #106236 LAIDBACK HUMOROUS CHAP Want meet some new people. Open to do just about anything. Looking for folk that don’t mind a kid, like to laugh, have a beer and kick back. Why not? stop- g , s4pennies, 33, #106232 SNOWBOARDING RAGER/ EX-YUMMER! I like the outdoors. I’m a blazer. I like music. I’m distracted easi- ly. I like to travel. I like to orga- nize. I love food. I like to Rage. BusBoy186, 20, g , #105839 GLENN BECK SUCKS Quirky gay boy, scientific mind, well kept and hygienic. Enjoys cuddling under the stars, good music, and Dan Savage’s column. Nonsmoker, 18, tall, open minded, passionate. viriproviri, 18, g , #105543 Looking for a woman who knows the meaning of Pragmatic and other large words!I have adegree inNetwork Admin.and in culinary arts aswellas otherdegrees(liket okeepthenogginbusy)would like someone to talk to The Pragmatist. Shag, 30, #106204 I’m a metal head who loves to smoke the green.I don’t really do much except hang out with friends and im looking for some- one to join me in my laziness. TheEugenian, 18, g , #106202 Married woman looking for a woman. captainbolo, 35, #106213 METAL, ANIME, COMICS, NERDY, GUITAR Im a metalhead nerd who is look- ing a for girl to hang with,who likes metal and going to metal shows with me so we can head- bang and mosh. Deth21, 20, #106217 NEED A FRIEND HELLO Hi I preffer you ask me. Jaydeb, 22, #106246 VA POUR G‚TEAU? Music history student at LCC. I like cooking, hanging out, and drink- ing coffee. I have no preference to kinks, as I am willing to try most things. Tehfuzzycrab, 23, g , #106199 THAT’S MY CUPCAKE! I love going to the movies, going out for dinner and drinks. Going to baseball games. I enjoy paint- ing, reading a good book or just listening to some good music. VintageLakeHouse, 26, g , #106088 Free Will Astrology CHILD-FREE ATHEIST PLANT SWAP Plant/seed swap w/ potluck. Sat. May 14th at the 10th and Lincoln apartments. Noon till 6pm. Please bring food swappables and your enthusiasm. Fliers posted hope to see you there! ZMerris, 26, #106237 29, married, no kids. Would like to find some cool girls to go out with, without worrying about babysitters. I can hang with any- one, but not into sports or reli- gion. DrGirlfriend, 29, g , #106120 BIRTHDAY DREAMER You are more beautiful this year then you were last year, and I’m so looking forward to making you happy for many many more years. Happy Birthday! When: Thursday, May 19, 2011. Where: next to me. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902096 LOSE A GUITAR? DAN SAVAGE CORVALLIS I saw two guys in a schoolyard in the evening on 05/13/11. One playing a guitar. As I walked by,I found it abandoned at the school. Identify the school. When: Friday, May 13, 2011. Where: Eugene School yard. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902100 You, Corvallis’s gay males. Why is it I can see you at this function but almost never around town??? Do you hide in your houses all day? BE MORE VISIBLE! When: Monday, May 9, 2011. Where: Dan Savage Corvallis Q&A. You: Man. Me: Man. #902095 CROSSING WILLAMETTE W/ BIKES 2404800 AND COUNTING Orange toothbrush; Moonrises, ìThe Mountainî, Desert skyscapes, Hidden at hanging rock, Palm oil and ìThe Cornelî, NW rains, Holding my hand, Cathedral of Sequoias. Banana Slugs Know The Truth. Love When: Wednesday, May 19, 2010. Where: Work. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902104 YEAR ONE PAPER Brock, I loved the last year and can’t wait for many more. I vow to cherish our love through the easy times and the hard. I love you. When: Sunday, May 15, 2011. Where: In my dreams!. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902103 BAGEL SPHERE Beauty working behind the coun- ter Sun May 15th, you came out of your way to help me unfortu- natly I was in such a hurry. Just wanted to say thank you! When: Sunday, May 15, 2011. Where: Bagel Sphere. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902102 Your 6 year old wasn’t riding bike yet, you went to red box at 7-11 and McDonald’s. Would love to converse more. When: Friday, May 13, 2011. Where: 29th and Willamette. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902099 MAY 17 U OF O ST. FAIR Kimmy thanks 4 the green crys- tal! A Long winter and 2 Bloody Marys @ Renee's Landing caused my temp. memory loss! Who won, Rock, Paper, Scissors? -N. LOST PHONE HELP My son lost his T-Mobile G2 phone Thursday 5/12 at the play- ground/skatepark by Cal Young Middle School. Please respond to this ad if you find. REWARD When: Thursday, May 12, 2011. Where: Cal Young Middle. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902098 SIR CHOPSIKINS I am SO lucky that I get to see you everyday. Your the most cre- ative, interesting, and beautiful person EVER! I’m yours, Happy Birthday Lover! Can I keep you? When: Tuesday, May 17, 2011. Where: In My Dreams and Every Morning When I Wake. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902097 don't have a computer but want to place a personals ad? Place an ad with EW directly, responses sent to us by snail mail $25 for four weeks, 30 words or less 541-484-0519 1251 Lincoln St 8am-5pm BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Today I received this email: Dear Chosen One: My name is Boopsky, also known as ‘The Impossible.’ I rule a small kingdom that exists in a secret place — an island with abundant riches and rhinoceros playgrounds. To make a long story short, you have won our ‘naked’ lottery. Please come visit us to claim your prizes. We will carve a statue of you out of butter and strawberry jam. Your funny ways of walking and talking will be imitated by all of our citizens. Then you will be caressed as a monarch on a pile of TVs and sung songs to by our reincarnation chorus. Can’t wait to see you be so happy! I suspect you may soon receive an invitation as puzzling as this one, Aries — an apparent blessing that carries mixed messages or odd undertones. My suggestion is to hold off on accepting it until you fi nd out more about it. Meanwhile, make sure it doesn’t distract you from taking advantage of a less fl ashy but more practical opportunity. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In order to capture the spirit of the landscapes he painted, French artist Claude Monet used to work outside in all kinds of weather. When I look at masterpieces like “Snow at Argenteuil” or “The Magpie, Snow Effect, Outskirts of Honfl eur,” I like to imagine he was so engrossed in his work that he barely even registered the bitter chill. I bet you’ll be able to achieve a similar inten- sity of focus in the coming week, Taurus. You could be so thoroughly absorbed in an act of creation or a ritual of transition or an attempt at transformation that you will be virtually exempt from any discomfort or inconvenience that might be involved. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): What’s going to happen for you in the coming week will be the metaphorical equivalent of gaining the ability to see infrared light with your naked eye or to detect the ultrasonic sounds that only dogs can hear. With this virtual superpower at your disposal, you just may be able to fi gure out how people’s unspoken feelings have been covertly affecting your destiny. You will intuit lucid inklings about the probable future that will help you adjust your decisions. You might even tune in to certain secrets that your own unconscious mind has been hiding from you. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Devilish laughter revels in chaos, says Loyola University philosophy professor John Clark. “It’s an assault on excessive order, authority, and seriousness.” Angelic laughter, on the other hand, “expresses delight in the wondrousness of life and in the mystery of the order and fi tness of things.” I’d like to suggest, Cancerian, that the time is ripe for you to revel equally in the devilish and the angelic varieties of laughter. So get out there and seek funny experiences that dissolve your fi xations and celebrate your life’s crazy beauty. The healing that results could be spectacular. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Last year a group of wealthy Germans asked their government to require them to pay higher taxes. “We have more 34 MAY 19, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY FRIENDS + MUSIC seeking band-mates who are in love with sound and are not very grouchy, to make fun songs, interesting songs, lovely songs, and songs that have to do with weather. and_jellyfish, 27, g , #105559 Fighting the mid-life crisis n los- ing the battle,don’t plan on going down easy or alone,need a part- ner in crime to get me into trou- ble or get me out of trouble. fishguy, 54, #105589 PRAGMATIC EDUCATED MAN STONED METAL HEAD SOMETHING INTERESTING Mermaid Ca r ve r, ViolinGuitarMaker, Artist, Dancer, Woodsman, Lover of Nature, Gardener, Farmer, Rain Showers, Skinny Dipper, Lover of Tropics, Beethoven, Bob Marley, Grateful Dead, Jazz, Arts, seeking Natural Hippie Woods Woman. fiddle- mon, 56, ☎, g , #106192 COLLEGE DOUCHE BAGS! Stop trashing our yards with lit- ter! One would think that the future leaders of America could master using a trash can. Seriously, its embarrassing. When: Saturday, May 14, 2011. Where: U of O Campus. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902101 money than we need,” said the 44 multi-millionaires. They wanted to help alleviate the ravages of poverty and unemployment. I urge you to make a comparable move, Leo. In what part of your life do you have more abundance than most people? Are there practical ways you could express your gratitude for the extravagant blessings life has given you? I think you’ll fi nd that raising your levels of generosity will ultimately lead to you receiving more love. (Here’s more on the story about rich Germans: tinyurl.com/RichHelp) VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “I don’t know what I’m looking for,” sings Brendan Benson in his bouncy pop song, “What I’m Looking For,” “but I know that I just want to look some more.” I suspect those words could come out of your mouth these days, Virgo. I worry that you’ve become so enamored with the endless quest that you’ve lost sight of what the object of the quest is. You almost seem to prefer the glamour of the restless runaround — as painful as it sometimes is. That probably means you’re at least somewhat out of touch with the evolution of your primal desires. Check back in with the raw, throbbing source, please. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When it’s fl ood season, the Amazon River rises as much as 60 feet. At that time, the adjoining forests earn their name — várzea, a Portuguese word meaning “fl ooded forests.” The river’s fi sh wander far and wide, venturing into the expanded territory to eat fruit from the trees. In the coming weeks, Libra, I imagine you’ll be like those fi sh: taking advantage of the opportunities provided by a natural windfall. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Provocative new infl uences are headed your way from a distance. Meanwhile, familiar infl uences that are close at hand are about to burst forth with fresh offerings. It’s likely that both the faraway and nearby phenomena will arrive on the scene at around the same time and with a similar intensity. Try not to get into a situation where they will compete with or oppose each other. Your best bet will be to put them both into play in ways that allow them to complement each other. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you live in the U.S., your chocolate almost certainly contains insect parts. The Food and Drug Administration understands that the mechanisms involved in making chocolate usually suck small passers-by into the works, which is why it allows manufacturers to include up to 60 bug fragments per 100 grams of chocolate. A lot of basically positive infl uences have a similar principle at work: Unpalatable ingredients get mixed in with the tasty stuff, but not in such abundance that they taint the experience. This week, Capricorn, you may be unusually tuned in to the unpalatable side of some good things in your life. Don’t overreact. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I went to a literary event in which young poets read their work. One poet, Shelby Hinte, began her seg- ment by talking about what inspires her. “I like to write about women who are more interesting than me,” she said. I was full of admira- tion for that perspective. It suggests she’s cultivating the abundant curiosity and humility that I think are essential to the creative process. As you slip deeper into an extra fertile phase of your personal cycle, Aquarius, I urge you to adopt a similar voracity for infl uences that surprise and fascinate and educate you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Any suffi ciently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic,” said science fi ction writer Arthur C. Clarke. So in other words, if you were able to time-travel back to medieval England with a laptop computer and a solar-powered battery charger, the natives might regard you as a wizard with supernatural powers. I think there will soon be a similar principle at work in your life, Pisces: You will get a vivid glimpse of amazing things you could accomplish in the future. They may seem fantastic and impossible to the person you are right now — tantamount to magic. Be alert for expanded states of awareness that reveal who you could ultimately become. HOMEWORK: Talk about the things you’d do if you lived for a week without consuming any Internet, TV, videos, radio, fi lms, newspa- pers, or magazines. Write: Freewillastrology.com. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Are you desperate for more companionship? Have your night dreams been crammed with soulful exchanges? Are you prowling around like a lusty panther, fantasizing about every candidate who’s even remotely appealing? If so, I have some advice from the poet Rumi: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and fi nd all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” In other words, Sagittarius: To foster the search for intimate connection, identify the patterns within yourself that are interfering with it. By the way, this is good counsel even if you’re only moderately hungry for closer connection. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
