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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (May 19, 2011)
R UNCORKED R Mogen David (aka “Mad Dog 20/20”) V I N TA G E : circa January 2011 (a fine year indeed) W I N E N A M E : “Orange Jubilee” W I N E C AT E G O R Y : Slurpy w/alcohol G R A P E B L E N D : Orange R E G I O N : Westfield, New York A L C O H O L : 13 percent W I N E RY: The complex jamlike and lean taste of this wine may nudge one to more appropriately nickname it “Mad Dog Orange Julius.” The distinctly lemony orange temperance is reminiscent of a poorly made daiquiri mixed by your alcoholic aunt at a summer get-together. Lively and mouth fi lling, this is a drink that must be had on a hot day with cheap meat. REVIEW: The Grape American Acetic NyQuil Taste Test Carlo Rossi Vineyards V I N TA G E : circa May 2011 (shortly after we smoked Osama) W I N E N A M E : “Chablis” W I N E C AT E G O R Y : Holy Communion G R A P E B L E N D : Old world, French, pear, collegiate R E G I O N : Modesto, California A L C O H O L : 9.5 percent W I N E RY: BY DANTE ZUÑIGA-WEST Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise Mogen David (aka “Mad Dog 20/20”) V I N TA G E : circa April 2011 W I N E N A M E : “Banana Red” W I N E C AT E G O R Y : American “Fortified” Wine G R A P E B L E N D : Red bananas, gummy bears, cough syrup R E G I O N : Westfield, New York A L C O H O L : 13 percent W I N E RY: — PROV ER BS 20:1 A connoisseur evaluates a work of art on the basis of aesthetic conclusions. Judgments are informed by intuition, but must be grounded in a true understanding of the art form being evaluated. Wine is an art form. I am not a connoisseur. However, I am willing to bet that I have spent enough time with wine — possibly a great deal more time than you — that I can speak knowingly on its behalf. On the fundamental basis of experiential practice, the fi ne tuning of insight and a regimented system of analysis, I have attempted to attribute authorship, validate legitimacy and appraise value to a series of wines that most people consider infamous, juvenilely lowbrow or just plain bummy. These fi ndings have been collected and organized into a catalogue raisonné placed below: R E V I E W : This fruity, fl owery and overripe concoction is the staple of American art schools and religious ceremonies alike. The perfumed, raisiny, thin-bodied mix of ingredients ensures both a rite of passage and a heady hangover no matter who you are. Carlo Rossi’s Chablis is best served slightly chilled, through the plastic hose of a camel pack. Most importantly, this wine comes in excess of quantity over quality, making it all the more diffi cult (yet rewarding) to sneak into your dorm room. This refi ned spirit contains an element of the strawberry candies your grandmother used to buy you at the supermarket. A chewy “nouveau” style taste, similar to the gummy fl avor of cherry NyQuil, is the most prevalent feature of MD 20/20 Banana Red. Citrusy yet cloudy, this wine is a must-have for those looking to partake in the temperate (i.e., societally underrated) day drunk. REVIEW: S OUTHERN AND N ORTHERN I NDIAN C UISINE EW's BEST ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET 2008-2009 4 PM - 2:30 AM DAILY H APPY H OUR 4-9 PM MARTINI SPECIALS & FREE POOL 115 W. jamesons BROADWAY - bar.com 4 EUGENE WEEKLY’S UNCORKED L UNCH B UFFET 7 Days a Week 11:30am - 2:30pm * Dinner 5–9:30pm * 5 Years in Eugene E AT & P ARK F REE P ARKING FOR E VENTS AT M ATT K NIGHT A RENA WHEN YOU DINE WITH US * 1525 Franklin Blvd. Eugene, OR 541-343-7944 * 136 SW Third • Corvallis, OR * 541-754-7944 WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
