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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (April 14, 2011)
WINK Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site (Charges may apply) NATURE, TRUTH, CONNECTION I take good care of myself and I appreciate others that do. I love nature, walking, water, dancing. I also enjoy traveling. Men gener- ally like me and find me attrac- tive. sunlight, 63, ☎, #105954 METAL MUSE I need a metal man who is hope- fully a musician that could take my heart and party with me at the same time. Dru_616, 19, g , #105625 HORSES, GARDENS, SUNRISES Hoping to be inspired, chal- lenged, educated, explored! Cave Diving? Rock hunting? Comic- con’s? Paintball? Poi-Staff? Snowboarding? ect.!? Peace, Love, Rock ‘n Roll! (Not quite enough to sooth my soul!) ~Ani_ Oakley~ }=)~. Ani_Oakley, 30, g , #106054 EASY GOING ATTITUDE. A CHARMING POLYGON COOKING ROMANTIC DAD SUNSHINE DAYDREAMER THAT’S MY CUPCAKE! I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj. I like to cook, dance and bike to Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live in a house with tons of flowers. patty, 20, ☎, g , #105932 I love to cook, take walks around town, bicycle, meet new people. I am really enjoying life and would like to meet a smart, classy lady to share it with. singledad72, 39, #106163 Mellow, kind, considerate young man, seeking honest, sincere, mellow woman. mel- lowdude83, 25, g , #106112 PERFECT GENTLEMAN looking for a long term relation- ship with women of my same age 50+. felipe, 53, #106099 I love going to the movies, going out for dinner and drinks. Going to baseball games. I enjoy paint- ing, reading a good book or just listening to some good music. VintageLakeHouse, 26, g , #106088 BLONDE AND INTELLIGENT MUSICFINATIC Moved here 4rm da east coast. I LOVE GURLS. Basically I do wat I want wateva dat is lol. Im new 2 da area & ready have fun!! magic2701, 19, g , #106093 ANY GTFS READING? TRIPPY-CONVERSATIONS, THREESOMES I’m sick of being “The Smart One.” Let’s have some fun and pepper it with intelligent conver- sation. Nothing too serious; we’re all busy people and life’s too short! dorkylitchick, 25, #106046 We’re a solid, fun-loving, healthy, fit, drama- and STD-free, poly couple, looking for a female friend with benefits. Emphasis on friend. She’s 20, he’s 26. 420 and nerd friendly! two_sexy, 20, g , #106083 GIRLY GIRL, ADVENTUROUS SOUTHERNBELLE TREEHUG- GER HOPELESSROMANTIC get dressed up to go dancing, boots to hike.the coast. Confidence not cocky.After all life is what YOU MAKE YOURSELF not what you think you can make someone else to be. njgail, 48, g , #102173 CHILD-FREE ATHEIST Smart lady with taste, style and form seeks similar elemental of like mind:hu-Man must gno the difference between an alan wrench and a cresecent wrench. Electronic music whiz seeks muse. silverstar156, 51, g , #105860 ~WARPED WOLFRIDER CHIEFTESS~ justmoved here fromTN.im laid back.downtoearth lovemusic.art. goodbeer.goodbud.lookin to make new friends.meet new people.lovemusic!lovefestivals n shows.i am my own person.tat- toos.piercings.people whocan keep up with me.witty.outspo- ken.lil wild.like to party.if u wan- naknow morejust lemmeknow. southern_charmer89, 22, g , #106033 I’m a confident person who loves to be with other people. I try to be nice to the people around me. I like to do random things, and find adventures. kelandry4157, 19, g , #105724 LITTLEMISSFUNSHINE;) i’m a cat loving stoner, with a great body,i love dressing up, i have a boyfriend but this is for me, i would like to hang out and get to know a nice pretty girl,. ashliemae91, 20, g , #105720 loves to treat a lady like one. looking for friends the long time relationship maybe marriage . l ove n a t u re, b i ke rides,crafts,learning new t h i n g s , h e l p i n g people,movies,romantic times. funcorp, 50, g , #106136 SEEKING SOME FUN Nice caring guy bored and lonely looking for some fun to keep mind off work. Wardogin, 29, g , #106135 INTELECTUAL KIND OF GIRL AND FRIENDS? I’m new in town and I’m looking to meet some interesting women. I enjoy talking about a wide variety of subjects, if you contact me I’ll send you my pic- ture! Armando1983, 28, #106078 O.O 0.0 ^_^ Mainly looking for guys 21 to 30 to hang out with here in Corvallis/nearby, specifically gay males. Nice and laid-back? Drop me a line. Into old movies a plus. ragemanchoo, 29, ☎, g , #101557 Looking for a friend to talk to, that’s really all. mcveigsh, 21, g , #106097 LOOKING FOR FRIENDS SWM, 47 years of age, 5’7”, 220 pounds, brown hair and green eyes. never married, no children. Am looking for SWF’s between 21 and 40 for friendship and possi- ble dating. tallenlark63, 48, g , #105513 LOVE EXISTS Looking for friends on a love vibration. Not monogamous love, nor nsa sex. I’m describing evolv- ing unconditional love energy. We are shining lights in physical shells, all worthy of love. LadyofLight, 28, g , #105436 STDFREE COOL STONER DUDE ACTIVE, CARING, GENTLE- MAN MAKE LIFE HAPPY Find joy in the everyday experi- ence. Hold my hand. Have my heart. Run with me Walk with me climb with me. Laugh play and dance. PrinceVoknor, 30, #106170 I am looking for someone to share my activities and possibly travel. I would you like to get together for a cup or a walk along the river and talk. wesII, 70, g , #106126 JUST WONDERING... I am quite an honest genuine guy, looking for someone nice at heart,a great and thinking mind and also him being nice in bed would be just fine. AV, 34, g , #106152 Intelligent female wanted to hang out in totally cool house: weed, food, movies, conversa- tion. Please be pretty, confident, and interesting. warm and allur- ing yes; sad and angry no. smartash2011, 33, ☎, g , #106157 SORRY... Everyday for the last two years. I loved you as well as I could. I’m sorry it wasn’t enough. When: Saturday, April 9, 2011. Where: Oakridge. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902048 YMM Eating mangos in sunny para- dise struggles to come close to snuggly mornings in rainy Eugene with you. I miss you sweetheart! ILY YRMW! Love, your JMG. When: Thursday, April 14, 2011. Where: everywhere. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902047 BEAUTIFUL DREAMER I love you, with everything I am, every moment, with every breath. You are my Love. When: Thursday, April 7, 2011. Where: Next to me. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902046 MOHAWK WALGREENS CUTIE you,withyour friend in candy islewhen I saw you, she texting you looking cuteand smiling atme at the checkout. me,shy wearinghat inahoodie holding mtndew. thensaw youon centennial..I hope you see this. When: Wednesday, April 6, 2011. Where: mohawk walgreens. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902045 HARD NPF LOVES SEX AND JUST TALKING TOLADYS. domy, 46, #106130 Free Will Astrology SEXY SMILING BLONDE You were leaving as I walked in. Exchanged smiles and did dou- ble takes. Wish I would have stopped to talk with you. Grab a beer sometime? When: Monday, April 11, 2011. Where: Fred Meyers/ River Road 12:30PM. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902050 EW COVER JENNY warpaint bassist i like looking at you you look like my racoon eyes When: Thursday, March 31, 2011. Where: cover of EW. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902044 BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): In her blog, Jane at janebook.tumblr.com LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Nearly all men can stand adversity,” said answers questions from readers. A recent query went like this: “Who would win in a steel cage match, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?” Jane said, “Easter Bunny, no question; he has those big-ass teeth.” But I’m not so sure. My sources say that Santa has more raw wizardry at his disposal than the Bunny. His magical prowess would most likely neutralize the Bunny’s superior physical assets. Likewise, Aries, I’m guessing you will have a similar edge in upcoming steel cage matches — or any other competitions in which you’re involved. These days you’ve simply got too much mojo to be defeated. Abraham Lincoln, “but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” According to my analysis of the astrological omens, that thought will have extra meaning for you in the coming weeks. So far in 2011, you have gotten passing grades on the tests that adversity has brought you. But now come the trickier trials and tribulations. Will your integrity and impeccability stand up strong in the face of your waxing clout and infl uence? TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Dear Rob: Last January you predicted that 2011 might be the best year ever for us Bulls to commune with the invisible realms and get closer to the Source of All Life. And I have been enjoying the most amazing dreams ever. I’ve had several strong telepathic experiences and have even had conversations with the spirit of my dead grandmother. But that God character remains achingly elusive. Can’t I just have a face-to-face chat with his/her Royal High- ness? — Impatient Taurus. Dear Taurus: The coming weeks will be one of the potentially best times in your life to get up close and personal with the Divine Wow. For best results, empty your mind of what that would be like. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I was reading about how fantasy writer Terry Pratchett made his own sword using “thunderbolt iron” from a meteorite. It made me think how that would be an excellent thing for you to do. Not that you will need it to fi ght off dragons or literal bad guys. Rather, I suspect that creating your own sword from a meteorite would strengthen and tone your mental toughness. It would inspire you to cut away trivial wishes and soul-sucking infl uences that may seem interesting but aren’t really. It might even lead you to rouse in yourself the zeal of a knight on a noble quest — just in time for the arrival of an invitation to go on a noble quest. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Over the years I have on several occa- sions stood at a highway exit ramp with a handmade cardboard sign that reads, “I love to help; I need to give; please take some money.” I fl ash a wad of bills, and offer a few dollars to drivers whose curiosity impels them to stop and engage me. I’ve always been surprised at how many people hesitate to accept my gift. Some assume I have a hidden agenda; others think I’m crazy. Some are even angry, and shout things like “Go home, you freak!” If a comparable experience comes your way anytime soon, Cancerian, I urge you to lower your suspicions. Consider the possibility that a blessing is being offered to you with no strings attached. 38 APRIL 14, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY WHITNEY AT YONDER It was nice dancing with you, but I missed you on my way out. You were so cute with your pigtails! Can i take you out some time? Josh When: Sunday, April 10, 2011. Where: Younder. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902049 29, married, no kids. Would like to find some cool girls to go out with, without worrying about babysitters. I can hang with any- one, but not into sports or reli- gion. DrGirlfriend, 29, g , #106120 SNARLY UBER BEAST Country lady looking for her male counterpart- I have 2 hors- es and love to ride, need a part- ner! Would prefer someone with his own horse, please be single! g , goddess2, 60, #106091 NEED A FRIEND Fighting the mid-life crisis n los- ing the battle,don’t plan on going down easy or alone,need a part- ner in crime to get me into trou- ble or get me out of trouble. fishguy, 54, #105589 VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It would be a good week for you to as- semble a big pile of old TVs you bought for $5 apiece at a thrift store and run over them with a bulldozer. It would also be a favorable time to start a blazing fi re in a fi replace and throw in the photos of all the supposedly attractive people you used to be infatuated with even though you now realize that they were unworthy of your smart love. In other words, Virgo, it is a perfect moment to destroy symbols of things that have drained your energy and held you back. There’s an excellent chance this will provide a jolt of deliverance that will prime further liberations in the coming weeks. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The style of dance known as the samba seems to have its origins in the semba, an old Angolan dance in which partners rub their navels together. In the African Kimbundu language, semba also means “pleasing, enchanting,” and in the Kikongo tongue it denotes “honoring, revering.” In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you Libras to bring the spirit of semba to your life. Use your imagination as you dream up ways to infuse your intimate ex- changes with belly-to-belly reverence and enchantment. Be serpentine and worshipful. Be wild and sublime. Bestow your respectful care with all your slinky wiles unfurled. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the Philippines, there is a geo- graphic anomaly I want to call your attention to: a volcanic island in a lake that’s on a volcanic island in a lake that’s on an island. Can you picture that? Vulcan Point is an island in Crater Lake, and Crater Lake is on Volcano Island, and Volcano Island is in Lake Taal, and Lake Taal is on the island of Luzon. It’s confusing — just as your currently convo- luted state is perplexing, both to you and those around you. You could be aptly described as fi ery earth within cool water within fi ery earth within cool water within fi ery earth. Whether that’ll be a problem, I don’t know yet. Are you OK with containing so much paradox? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For the Navajo, the quality of your life isn’t measured by your wealth or status, but by whether you “walk in beauty.” It’s an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for you to evaluate yourself from that perspective. Do you stop to admire a fl ock of sparrows swirling toward a tangerine cloud at dusk? Are you skilled at giving gifts that surprise and delight others? When your heart isn’t sure what it feels, do you sing songs that help you transcend the need for certainty? Have you learned what your body needs to feel healthy? Do you know any jokes you could tell to ease the passing of a dying elder? Have you ever kissed a holy animal or crazy wise person or magic stone? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “He who wants to do good knocks at the gate,” says Bengali poet Rabindranath Tagore in one of his “Stray Bird” poems, while “he who loves fi nds the gate open.” I agree completely. That’s why I advise you, as you get ready to head off to your next assignment, not to be burning with a no-nonsense intention to fi x things. Rather, be fl owing with the desire to offer whatever gifts and blessings are most needed. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Once bread becomes toast, it can never become bread again.” Today I saw that piece of wisdom scrawled on the wall of a cafe’s restroom. I immediately thought of you. Metaphorically speaking, you’re thinking about dropping some slices in the toaster, even though you’re not actually ready to eat yet. If it were up to me, you would wait a while before transforming the bread into toast — until your hunger got ratcheted up to a higher level. The problem is, if you make the toast now, it’ll be unappetizing by the time your appetite reaches its optimum levels. That’s why I suggest: Put the bread back in the bag. For the moment, refrain from toasting. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t try so hard, Pisces. Give up the struggle. As soon as you really relax, your subconscious mind will provide you with simple, graceful suggestions about how to outwit the riddle. Notice I just said you will be able to “outwit the riddle.” I didn’t say you will “solve the riddle.” Big difference. Outwitting the riddle means you won’t have to solve it, because you will no longer allow it to defi ne the questions you’re asking or the answers you’re seeking. HOMEWORK: Compare the person you are now with the person you were two years ago. Make a list of the three most important differ- ences. Testify at Freewillastrology.com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
