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SNAFU FRIDAY 2/4/11
You male, me female. Friday @
Snafu you wore a black Bier Stein
T-shirt & black hat. I wore all
black. Meet me @ the Stein 2/16
@ 9pm. When: Friday,
February
4, 2011.
Where: Snafu. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #901972
NEW FRONTIER MARKET
It’s a receipt, for two copies, one
certified, from the cashier at the
Benton County Court house
dated June 7th 2005. He’s abso-
lutely right, the arraignment
transcript sounds bad. When:
Wednesday, July 11,
2007. Where: Prescott,
Arizona. You: Man. Me:
Man. #901971
QUIZNO’S COBURG ROAD
To the HOTTEST man at Coburg
Road Quizno’s. You make my
heart skip a beat every time I see
you. Thanks for an amazing
weekend! I love you! When:
Saturday, February 5,
2011. Where: Coburg
Road Quizno’s. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #901970
BIG LOVE
I miss my cubs.I wish for the great
spirit to heal this family.I love you
so much.I love you like a camilion.I
love you like a snail.Papa Bear :)
When: Tuesday, February
1, 2011. Where: In the
Spirit World. You: Woman.
Me: Man. #901957
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RE: SAYING GOODBYE
DUCKS KICKIN’ COUGARS
DR KNOW IT
What are you asking me? Last
weeks post was pointless and
void before the weekly even
printed it. When: Sunday,
February
6, 2011.
Where:
Nightmares
crowd my dreams when I
think of NLS. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #901969
You-at the end of the court,
super handsome in your white
shirt, shaking hands like crazy ;-).
Me-mid-court and diggin’ your
style. Loved the hug, cocktails
next? When: Thursday,
February
3, 2011.
Where: UofO basketball
game. You: Man. Me:
Woman. ☎ #901965
through seattle, ok and eugene
you still ask as if you don’t owe
me...what’s up, let’s settle this...
there won’t be a next lifettime
When:
Sunday,
December
3, 2006.
Where: eugene. You:
Man.
Me:
Woman.
#901961
LIKE YOUR MOVES
May I twiddle with your antenna?
I’ll twist your knob to find the
right spot. Flip through the chan-
nels and turn my volume up to a
deafening level. Electrical per-
fectrical! When: Friday,
February 11, 2011. Where:
MRP Vol. III. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #901960
SHANNDERKA
past 5 years we have been
through some shit but we’ve
stayed strong now things or
looking better its all thinks to
you being strong i love you and-
willneverstop
When:
Wednesday, February 2,
2011. Where: at home.
You: Woman. Me: Man.
#901968
SEXY!
Quit trippin thinking Im bein
sneeky!!! I LOVE YOU & ONLY
YOU!!!I WANT IS YOU!!!! WISH THE
FEELING WAS MUTUAL!!! Guess
not since you left alnite twice in
a week!!! When: Sunday,
February
6, 2011.
Where: from SEXY. You:
Woman.
Me:
Man.
#901967
(THE)PARADOX ALPHA
[MALE]
You steal from spirits to maintain
your condition of control. Their
loyalty doesn’t voluntarily waiv-
er to you. You are torn apart
commanded by the possessed
souls which you have thieved.
When:
Saturday,
February
5, 2011.
Where: Aeons. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #901966
Does your guitar need a check up?
“
Agate Alley every week, and I am
always hoping to see you. The
dancing chemistry is real. Saw
you in passing at the District.
Come find me on Saturday.
Megan? When: Sunday,
January 16, 2011. Where:
Agate Alley Bistro. You:
Woman.
Me:
Man.
#901964
GOODBYE PERFECT “10”
Winged we dance, infused with
love. All my travels lead me
home, inward. Childlike wisdom: I
cannot walk backwards into the
future but I can adore it. When:
Wednesday, January 5,
2011. Where: In the cos-
mos. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #901963
FIRSTIME I EVERSAWYOU
you in your cupcakedress with a
straw in yourIPA ADORABLE(haha)
Your the most special woaman in
my world right now...just wanted
to let you know your beautifl and
alwayson mymind FLESH
When: Friday, September
24, 2010. Where: ARt
WALK. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #901962
TV ONTHE RADIO
SMILE
You: Bartender, biggest smile I
have ever seen, good vibe, ohm
symbol tattooed on your arm,
eyes-beautiful, and you caught
my attention. Coffee sometime...
When: Friday, January
28, 2011. Where: Doc’s
Pad. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #901959
Savage Love
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I’ve written before, but I didn’t hear back from you — probably because my e-mail didn’t
contain fl ogging or santorum or whatever. But I won’t be IGNORED, Dan.
I’m a 32-year-old female. Second marriage, two kids: one kid with my ex and one with the
man I cheated on my ex with (my current husband). My problem: A year ago, I found my “fi rst
love” on a social network. I’d been looking for him off and on for more than 16 years. This per-
son was a jerk who left me for one of my friends back in high school. But he was and still is the
love of my life. Always has been. Always will be. He is not married, has never been married, and
has no children. We began an affair about seven months after fi nding each other. My marriage,
my second marriage, had been rocky before this. My second husband, of three years, stopped
having sex with me after I became pregnant, and this continued after our child was born. We
tried counseling. It didn’t help. In no way am I using this as an excuse. I know what I’ve done is
wrong. But I also have a pretty bad track record and have cheated on every man I’ve ever been
with, except for my fi rst love.
This man, my fi rst love, is the worst person in the world for me. Yet I’m in love with him. I
have ALWAYS been in love with him. He wants me to leave my white-collar husband for him, a
very blue-collar guy. I live in a nice home in the suburbs; my fi rst love lives in a small apartment
in the city. Five months after we began having sex with each other, my current husband found
out. Instead of leaving me, he has turned into a different man: extremely loving and attentive.
He says this experience has made him realize how much he loves me and that he doesn’t want
to lose me.
My other problem: I didn’t begin this affair to get my second husband’s attention. I began
it because I’m in love with my fi rst love and always have been. My husband knows of my deep
feelings for my “fi rst.” I mention divorce often, but it falls on deaf ears. I want to do what is
best for my kids — and that would be staying right where I am. But I feel my only chance for
“true” love, if there is such a thing, is passing me by. I’ve never felt for anyone as I do for this
man. Every man who has come into my life AFTER him knew about him and knew that if he
ever came back for me, I was gone. This includes my current husband. Dan, pull out all the
stops on this one, as you famously do, and please tell me what to do.
Serial Cheater In Love
HOT BEANERY GUY
You: Middle eastern/Indian, chin-
length hair, fine eyebrows, nice
clothes, very good looking, circa
5’8”. Me: 5’10”, Dark complection
white, dark hair/eyes, black lap-
top, striped alpaca scarf. Get
together for coffee? When:
Tuesday, February
1,
2011. Where: Corvallis
2nd Street Beanery.
You: Man. Me: Man.
#901958
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I’ve read what you’ve written before, SCIL, but I didn’t respond because I didn’t have much
to say to you and I still don’t. I had the same reaction reading your e-mail today that I had
reading all the other e-mails you’ve sent. My reaction is a little selfi sh, and I’m a little embar-
rassed to share it with you. But you keep pressing me, SCIL, and so here it is:
THIS BITCH CAN GET LEGALLY MARRIED AND I CAN’T?!?!
Sorry, sorry, sorry. That was cunty of me — nowhere near the level of respectful profession-
alism that people expect of me — and so now I’m going to have to make amends by scrounging
up some of that advice shit you’re after. But I’m going to offer you my advice on one condition:
You don’t write to me ever again.
Okay!
You say you’ve cheated on every man you’ve ever been with, with the exception of your
“fi rst love,” SCIL. You seem to be engaged in a little circular reasoning/magical thinking here
— you’ve concluded that he must be the love of your life because you didn’t cheat on him, and
you didn’t cheat on him because he’s the love of your life. No. You didn’t cheat on him, SCIL,
because you didn’t get around to it. You two broke up when you were 15 years old. If you’d
been with him a little longer, you would’ve cheated on him like you’ve cheated on everybody
else.
If you leave your current husband and break up your fi rst child’s second home and your
second child’s fi rst home, it won’t be long before you get around to cheating on the love of
your life, too. Because you’re a cheater, SCIL, a habitual, serial cheater. You’re precisely the
kind of person who shouldn’t make monogamous commitments.
Or get married. Or have children.
So what should you do? Stay? Go? Frankly, SCIL, I don’t give a fuck what you do. Stay or
go, it’s not going to make a fuck of a lot of difference. Your personal life is a mess, SCIL, and it
always will be. Because, you see, wherever you go, there you are.
That said: If your current husband doesn’t mind being cheated on, if he can put up with
your affairs and wants to put your children fi rst, then I think you should stay with him for the
sake of your kids. They deserve whatever stability and continuity you can provide for them
between infi delities. Again, if you leave your current husband for the love of your life, SCIL, it
won’t be long before you’re cheating on your third husband and preparing to uproot your kids
a third/second time. I know it, you know it, everyone out there reading this knows it, even your
current husband seems to know it.
So just stay put, okay?
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My girlfriend of two years, my fi rst real relationship, broke up with me a month ago.
Although I felt like shit for most of that month, we somehow managed to struggle through to a
close friendship. I wouldn’t say I’m entirely over her, but I understand why it happened and that
we won’t be getting back together. All in all, I’ve felt like we’ve both been pretty mature and
things are going well.
The complication: We still fi nd each other attractive and we work very well together sexu-
ally. So she proposed an FWB arrangement, and I said yes. We laid down ground rules — we are
not together, we are just friends who fuck, so no “I love you,” no commitments, no expectations
— and we started having hot sex. Is this foolhardy? We both know that I’d prefer something
more. So the question remains: Should we keep fucking?
Can’t Recall Acronym Procedure
:(:[YLL[:WYPUNMPLSK
How are you going to feel when your ex-girlfriend/current-fuck-buddy fi nds a new boy-
friend and ends your FWB arrangement? If you can honestly answer, “I’ll be happy for her,”
then keep fucking — but don’t forget to ask for your balls back when she dumps you that
second time.
If you can’t say that and you decide to keep fucking the ex anyway, CRAP, you wouldn’t
be the fi rst lovesick dumpee who agreed to enter into an FWB arrangement with an ex. If
the short-term rewards (all that hot sex) and the potential long-term payoff (getting back
together) make the risk seem worthwhile, then keep fucking.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
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EUGENE WEEKLY FEBRUARY 10, 2011 39