Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current, February 03, 2011, Image 35

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Eugene weekly., February 03, 2011, Page 35, Image 35

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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 3, 2011)

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Newspaper Page TextKINK Eugene Weekly’s Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own proﬁ le • Connect with local singles Respond to a Kink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3020 (Charges may apply) LOOSE-WOMAN WITH QUES- TIONABLE-MORALS MAD FOR IT. Lets meet up and have fun. mahdachod, 39, #105978 I am “America” looking for “Columbus” to DISCOVER ME! I want explosions, the earth mov- ing beneath my vibrating loins. I need a man stallion to fill me with his love-wand. fuck- BUCK, 20, #105539 ZOO WE MAMA!!! Looking for some one to hang out with.I’m a big time stoner so if your a stoner we could have a good time. Mainly lookin for guys 20 to 26. Addy89, 21, #105924 SEXPOTTHUNDERPUSSY DISNEYLOVER CHEESTCAKEFACE UNPREDICTABLE HUNGRY- STRIPER PROWLING My honey-pot is low and needs something sticky. Submissive at times, but this cowgirl can ride. Preferably a bucking bronco ;-). I’m a saucy whench boys, I need spanking. AlainaFuck, 21, #105484 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- mmmm vagina. Ifuckthespider son- thewall, 84, #105920 EXPLORING THE DOMINANT/ SUBMISSIVE WONDERING ABOUT YOU... You: Post ads here. Me: Journalist wondering what motivates you to do so. Inquisitivewriter, 22, #105919 EXUBERANT AND CURIOUS I’m 5’4” pixie-cut brunette with a penchant for adventure and a great smile. I am in a committed non-monogamous partnership, but hoping to branch out and meet other poly-friendly folks. g , gewilnian, 23, #104721 I am dominant in the bedroom, and I am seeking a submissive woman to tie up, blindfold, tease, please, generally enjoy each other’s bodies. curtismathis, 25, g , #105973 NUDIST, SWIMMER, RIDER Looking 4 Woman and or cpls. Swimmers and or erotic fun.I also need a Woman swim part- ner, I do a lot of lap swimming.I am attractive clean @ succesfull. Hotsauce, 50, #105959 I WANT PLEASURE CRAFYGIRL I’m in a committed non-monoga- mous partnership. Curious... CraftyGirl, 27, ☎, g , #105791 DISCREET FUN i’m an attractive, single mom looking for discreet fun...would enjoy an attractive, dominant, personality as i tend to 2 b more submissive...send me a msg and lets chat! Sammi, 43, g , #105766 ADVENTUROUS, EXCITED, EAGER I’m looking for a guy who’s dominant in the bedroom and wants to teach me new things. i’ve had a good start in D/s but i really want to explore! pink_ ocean, 32, g , #105553 HOT BI-GIRL lookin 2meet a hot, spunky, fun- loving, punk/goth, pierced/tatted girl- &a bit submissive, who enjoys life... preferably between the ages of ~19-29~ NO DRAMA, NO HARD DRUGS/HEAVY DRINKERS& DEFINITELY NO DISEASES. Lellabel, 35, ☎, g , #105770 I’m bored & tired of this vanilla world. I like 2 get what I want & please others. Live life to the full extent of what you imagine & what you want. DESIRE, 27, g , #101108 CURIOUS Bi-curious male, clean, fit, seeks beautiful boy for first time encounter. I want to adore your smooth, lean body. A lot to ask for? Of course. maxd, 40, g , #103934 BIGBOOBS, SEXY, FUN just moved back to engene and don’t know where to start. look- ing for a girl to hang out with and more. i’m 29, with long blonde hair. kissfan, 30, g , #104676 SEXY BUSTY BABE Needing someone to show me the ropes. Im not submissive just new to this. littleone, 20, #103646 YOU AND I Hey sex is good. We should have it...U and I. We can try this we, can try that. Mother earth wants this. hereiamiam, 26, #105980 ROCK YOUR WORLD im just looking for some fun, lets make some videos. =]. rideme, 18, g , #105979 UNEXPERIENCED Unexperienced young couple seeks dominant Male/Female or couple to teach us how to have fun and wants to play. lit- tlered, 18, #105950 Send your Valentine a message! I Love You ads Free! In February 10th issue email your ad to ofﬁ ce@eugeneweekly.com or call Jayme or Jennifer at 541-484-0519 deadline February 7th • 25 words max Does your guitar need a check up? “ Call the GUITAR DOCTOR ” experienced, honest, expert guitar repair Se et-Ups / All Manner of Repair Set-Ups C Complete Fretwork Complet Electronics Electron Reasonable Rates, Fast Turnaround Reasona Local Ba Bands Testify! CALL TODAY FOR A PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS Frances waxing specialist 541-510-5773 there’s nothing I can’t wax barebodywaxingstudio.com SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! DANCER AUDITIONS 5665;6!(4 *(33 NO COVER 465>,+ ;()3,+(5*,: WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage I read your column every week, mostly out of abstract interest. My thoughts reading your advice are usually some variation on “Wow, that’s a lot of work to do, just to have a sex life.” So reading you, I came to the conclusion that I was asexual. I liked this conclusion, as it was a sexual identity that made sense for me. Then I joined an asexual community. I soon realized that I was unlike those people, too. It turns out that they have no sexual attractions either way, whereas I comfortably identify as a straight male. I look when a pretty girl walks past (much to the chagrin of an asexual I dated for a short time), I like to kiss, and I enjoy some genital contact — but I’m in the mood for penetra- tion very rarely. Asexuals seemed to be turned off by physical intimacy. I soon realized that asexual was the wrong label for me. In reality, what I am is minimally sexual. Here’s the question: How do normally sexual persons feel about being with someone who can perform but doesn’t particularly want to? I know that being in a relationship means making compromises, but will a normally sexual person accept a partner who is able to have sex but does not wish to for certain reasons, e.g., a lack of conﬁ dence or stamina. Can a person please a partner without pleasing said partner in the euphemistic sense? Not Sexual, Not Asexual It should come as no shock to someone who reads my column every week — or any other advice column — that there are lots of people out there who want to be in relationships but don’t particularly want to have sex. We don’t usually hear directly from these “minimally sexual” types. Instead, we hear from their maximally unhappy partners, i.e., the “normally sexual persons” who ﬁ nd themselves unhappily married to and/or otherwise stuck with mini- mally sexual persons. With all the minimally sexuals out there making normally sexuals miserable, NSNA, it should be obvious to all regular readers that there’s not exactly a shortage of people who aren’t interested in sex. With that being the case, why would you even contemplate inﬂ icting yourself on a normally sexual person? Why not go ﬁ nd another minimally sexual person? You’ll be doing your minimally sexual self a favor, you’ll be doing your future minimally sexual part- ner a favor, and you’ll be doing all normally sexual persons everywhere a favor by removing two minimals — you and your future partner — from the dating pool. Unless you’re more interested in sex than you let on, NSNA, and you ﬁ nd the idea of a normally sexual partner appealing because a normal might be able to help you build your conﬁ dence and learn to enjoy sex. I certainly hope you’re not another asexual/minimally sexual person who wants a normally sexual partner because you take a perverse pleasure in depriving someone else of sex, constantly rejecting that person’s advances, and ultimately destroying their conﬁ dence. I’m a 22-year-old queer chick who came out only a couple years ago. Right when I was starting to talk honestly with my friends about my sexuality, I met a girl with whom I got along great. Fairly quickly, we both realized that she wanted the relationship to go further — she says this was the ﬁ rst time she had ever been attracted to another girl. I was not at all attracted to her, so I said something about being too unstable myself in the coming-out process to date someone who’s also just coming out. It worked, she dropped it, and we have since become extremely close friends. She began identifying openly as bi, and identiﬁ es me as the reason. Here’s the problem: Yesterday, out of the blue, she told me that she still really likes me and thinks we should be together. Dan, this girl is really important to me, but I am still not at all physically attracted to her. Am I a totally superﬁ cial a-hole? What can I tell her that won’t ruin this friendship? How can I make it clear that I don’t feel the same way without giving the actual reason? Can’t We Just Be Friends “I’m too unstable in the coming-out process to date someone who’s also just coming out,” is a baby-dyke variation on “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.” Unfortunately, CWJBF, not everyone on the receiving end of that white lie is smart enough to realize that their white liar actually means “I’m not interested in being in a relationship with you and I never will be.” This poor girl waited until you were further along in the coming-out process to ask you out again because she was foolish enough to believe you when you blamed bad timing. Now you’re going to have to tell her the truth — yes, you’re going to have to give her the actual reason — and the hurt is going to be worse when she realizes what a fool she was to wait. Apologize for not being direct when she ﬁ rst asked you out. Tell her you love her as a friend but you’re not attracted to her sexually or romantically and never will be. Leveling with her won’t make you an a-hole, CWJBF, but it could cost you this friendship. CONFIDENTIAL TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND: I was supposed to speak on your campus last Thursday night, but God had other plans. I was at the Cornerstone bar when the blizzard really started slamming and power lines started catching ﬁ re and all hell broke loose. The evening’s most distressing development: The bar had to stop serving once the power went out. Anyway, I’m looking forward to coming back to your campus — the Savage Love Live event/ shoot is being rescheduled and may take place this week — and when I return, I’d really like to meet the person responsible for some grafﬁ ti I spotted in the men’s room at the Cornerstone: “Don’t Raw Dog a Random.” That has to be the most effective peer-to-peer safer-sex message I’ve ever read while tak- ing a piss in Maryland. It did take me a second to work out exactly what it meant, as I’m old, so here’s a quick translation for other olds: “Don’t raw dog a random” means “For heaven’s sake, don’t engage in unprotected vaginal intercourse — don’t have sex without a condom — with a woman you’ve only just met, particularly if you met her in this drinking establishment. Bro.” It’s not a fail-safe strategy for avoiding sexually transmitted infections — people can get very speciﬁ c STIs from completely nonrandom sex partners — but the number of STIs could be cut dramatically if all male college students everywhere refrained from raw-dogging those lovely lady randoms and vice versa. (I realize that “random” is not gendered… but if you saw this bar, you would know that an exclusively heterosexual clientele can be safely assumed. A straight boy wrote that message, and he was addressing other straight boys, and “random” refers to female pickups, not male pickups.) I want to add that I was particularly impressed by the use of the word “random” in place of, say, “bitch,” “slut,” “whore,” or any of the other sexist/hostile/demeaning terms that college- town-bathroom-stall-grafﬁ tiing types typically use in place of “woman,” “female,” or “young lady coed.” Well done, DIY safe-sex educator! RICK KNEALE 541-513-9984 WWW.RKNEALEGUITARS.COM NUDE HOURS DAILY Savage Love Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net NO COVER :(:[YLL[:WYPUNMPLSK WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM EUGENE WEEKLY FEBRUARY 3, 2011 35