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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 2009)
Aissa to remarry. And how Aissa is better off with a man in the house is beyond me. He does not provide protection or fi nancial support; they are not procreating; they are not in love nor does Boiré provide Aissa with emotional security; and most importantly, she was not able or allowed to make such an important decision for herself. There was no maternity clinic to work from, no stirrups for a woman in labor, no light but the fl ashlight that Aissa held in her mouth by which to see at night. This past month, a law giving more rights to women, such as inheritance rights, was passed by Mali’s Congress. It lay on the president’s desk waiting for a signature when riots broke out across the country against the passage of the law. Malian men, and surprisingly, women, far and wide, were convinced that giving equality (or a watered down version of it) would lead to women obstinately disobeying their husbands, disregarding their work, and generally upsetting the entire social order. These past weeks, I learned that my villagers were similarly worked up in their aversion to the new law. After his wife had knelt down on one knee to serve Lahmine his dinner and given him water, Lahmine told me that if the law passed, wives everywhere would not only refuse to bring their husbands water when they came home but would also quit doing their work at all. To him, and to many of the other men I spoke with, equality means a complete disruption to the gender roles established in Malian culture. It means giving up power. Women would be incapable of taking responsibility of their families and homes without the supervision and orders of men. It’s largely a language problem. There is no word for equality in Bambara. Lahmine, like everyone else, translates equality as sameness: An bee kelen (We are all the same). But that’s just not possible in a society as gender segregated as this. To say that men and women are the same is as much as admitting you’re crazy and should be sent to the loony bin. Men and women are simply not the same and there is no point in trying to make them so. Moustapha told me that the law shouldn’t be passed because it didn’t make any sense for women to inherit money or land since they are not breadwinners. But! I said, But! Everywhere I look, women are making money. I do not know a single woman who is not engaged in some form of small enterprise, from selling street food to knitting to making brooms. Clearly, men are no longer able to comfortably provide for their families. If they did, women would not be working all hours of the day to both cook and clean and earn an extra little bit of money. Who can say that Aissa does not deserve an equal inheritance to that that her brothers will receive, when they are all breadwinners? There is no reasoning, there is no strong argument against this law except one: Men are better. Men are stronger. Men are the heads of the family, the village, the community. They are the owners of their wives and to give up any of that power would be terrifying and incomprehensible. But why, I keep asking, Why? Because, Mapha told me, men are simply better than women. “Are you really telling me that you are better than me?” I asked Mapha, looking him straight in the eyes, my hands almost shaking. He looked back and the joking expression that he always wears was gone from his face. “I’m not saying I’m better than you,” he said. “I’m saying your husband will be better than you.” Moussa laughed as Mapha exited the room. “He’s just scared,” I said to Moussa, a young man with such kind eyes who just passed his baccalaureate exam. He laughed, unwilling to join either Mapha’s side nor mine. Adama was the only man I talked to in favor of the law. He is also the only man I know with a relationship with his wife similar to what I hope to fi nd in marriage. It is not purely a social obligation and fi nancial relationship. They joke together, genuinely enjoy each other and help each other out. When Adama tells Sitan to do something, she can say no. And then they’ll joke about it. Sometimes, when Adama is late meeting me at the radio station, it’s because he’s been talking with Sitan and didn’t want to tear himself away. Real, emotional relationships, then, could be what’s missing. When you love each other, there need be no law to tell you to respect one another. When you respect each other, why would you be scared that giving equality to your partner would result in a loss of power? Perhaps the law will not pass. Perhaps the men will settle back into their chairs and call for a glass of water. Perhaps Soté will still kneel before Lahmine with a cup raised in her hand and her eyes down. But if you look carefully, the changes can’t be denied. And maybe that’s why the women aren’t all as riled up as I am. Maybe they know that whether or not the law passes will make no drastic difference to their daily lives. Maybe they will pursue a path that they have already chosen and in which they have more confi dence will produce results. By steadily taking more control of their families through earning their own money, striving for education, and joining women’s associations, perhaps women in my village feel that they are moving towards equality fast enough. Dooni dooni. Little by little. ew WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM JOIN THE YMCA IN NOVEMBER ... You will make a difference for yourself and for families in our community! BRING IN 10 HEALTHY NON-PERISHABLE FOOD ITEMS AND YOU’LL GET 50% OFF THE JOINING FEE Food donated will go to local families in need. EUGENE FAMILY YMCA 2055 Patterson | 686-9622 | www.eugeneymca.org We build strong kids, strong families, strong communities. Auto loan rates as low as 3.99% APR* Refinance with SELCO. Now is the perfect time to get the best deal. 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