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LOOKN’ TO LOOK.
WELL HUNG INTERESTED
Just thought we would take a
peek and see who is looking too.
rusumsexy4us, 37, g ,
#103774
Looking for a woman not afraid
to be herself and interested in
getting together from time to
time for FUN and ???
m r b o b 55 47 ,
44,
#103888
for a GENEROUS gentleman to
please in every way. Let me be
your naughty secret...discreet,
eager to please the right gener-
ous gentleman-could it be you??
aquabluegirl,
46,
#103756
BBW FOR BBC
Late 40’s big beautiful woman
looking for discreet fun with a
black men, one on one or in
groups. scandi, 47, g ,
#103619
SEXO’LICIOUS...AND
DELICIOUS!
Hi, My guy and I, are looking for
a lucious female for plaything.
and/or video girl-on-girl pleasure
as well.Into Hot sexy, and sassy.O
ral,Teasing,roleplay,experiment
open. maybe2day, 35,
#103666
GIRL IN TRAINING
“SPECIAL” FRIEND NEEDED
My fuck friend moved out of
state. Looking for a man that
can be available to keep me sat-
isfied to my standards. Bald men
encouraged to apply. Smilie,
43, ☎, #103439
TRYING NEW THINGS
haven’t tried a lot but am willing
to learn. open to most things.
just want clean fun that gets a
little dirty at times. See where it
all leads to!! cheesebrat, 24,
g , #103326
just looking to have some dis-
creet fun. I’m a nice guy who
loves sex and summer fun. look-
ing to have some new experi-
ences, maybe even learn or
teach some things. smiley-
nutty, 21, g , #103858
LETS FUCK TONIGHT
KINKY BAD DADDY
what I haven’t tried, I will. are
you knotty, lets chat. farmers
daughter, tell me about it.
g ,
BadDaddy,
50,
#103755
EROTIC HEADLINE HERE
Always attracted to older indi-
viduals. I am a pleasant bi-guy
looking to expand his circle of
friends for NSA fun. No harm in
seeing if we click. oboy97403,
52, g , #103641
I am looking for a girl to show me
the ropes. I am desperately
wanting to have a girl on girl
encounter. I have never been,and
want to badly. Yummy, 25,
#103155
LICK ME
PLEASURE SEEKER
I’m looking for a woman (some
couples ok) who is into hours of
oral pleasures. I’m new but am
wet and willing... let’s see if we’re
a match. naughtymommy,
28, #102330
LETS HAVE FUN!!!
im looking for guys dolls or cou-
ples that want some spice in
theyre life. i like bbws and cock.
im looking for sex cause i cant
get enough of it. skywalk-
er420, 25, #103792
well, im not going to lie, im very
attractive and im looking for fun
so message me if you are the
same way im 19, so message me
tonight.
ohyea,
19,
#103849
Looking for discreet encounters.
Massage, or worse... A hand-
some and handful man standing
with his toes on the edge of his
deep dark wild side. cedric, 30,
#103844
Experienced adaptive lover look-
ing for a good time. I like to
please as much as be pleased,
dominate or submit, and if it
sounds fun I am probably with it.
TwelvetoTwelve,
24,
#103841
SENIOR LOVER
SENSUAL STRANGER
Secure, fun, kinky women/cou-
ples need look no further for a
fantastically intimate encounter
with an equally secure, d/d free,
open-minded guy. What’s your
fantasy?
I can help.
SensualStranger, 28, g ,
#101593
I WANT PLEASURE
BI-MAN SEEKS FIST
I’m bored & tired of this vanilla
world. I like 2 get what I want &
please others. Live life to the full
extent of what you imagine &
what you want. DESIRE, 25,
g , #101108
Bi man, very oral and anal, seeks
biM/F couples, women, men for
rimming, fisting, more. bivia-
tor, 59, #101544
CURIOUS
BI SEEKS SAME
Seeking bi woman who is in LTR
with a man. Happily married,
hubby encourages my need for
a girlfriend. Want LTR friendship
and lover, femme, looking for
“out” sexy woman. Kimberlish,
41, g , #103927
I LOVE BOOBS!
Looking for a woman to have fun
with, in and out of the sexual
arena. I think it’s important to
make platonic connections
before you can make sexual con-
nections... bonnyluvsboo-
bies, 35, g , #103867
BODY IS TEMPLE
Inexperienced bi-curious, in love
with life and its possibilities.
Absent husband encourages
playmates. Love dancing, good
food, wine, and herb, hours of
skin on skin. Fit, youthful, lovely,
seek same. highpriestess,
39, g , #103860
Bi-curious, married male, clean,
fit, seeks beautiful boy, 18-22, for
first time encounter. I want to
adore your smooth, lean body. A
lot to ask for? Of course. maxd,
38, g , #103934
GET IT ON
NEEDS EXPERIENCE
I am moving back to eugene, and
would like to explore anything
from a fuck buddy to a relation-
ship. I love the outdoors, and am
real. hotrod, 47, ☎,
#103918
I’m new to it all kink, but I really
want to experience. I prefer any-
one under 30, the rest doesn’t
matter, just be patient. Dabble,
19, g , #103664
NEW TO THIS
BUTCH SNAKE EATER
Hey there ladies! I am just going
to see where this takes me.
Oshy, 31, #103894
FUN, COMPROMISING,
UNPREDICTABLE
Moderately experienced at
varrying forms of kinks, from BD/
SM, and Roleplaying. If you’re
new and want to learn, I’d like to
teach. If you’re experienced I’d
like to learn more. Sid66, 25,
g , #103891
YOUR AD HERE
for as little as
$38 per week
I LOVE ROLE PLAY.. KINK TOYS
ETC.. LOOKIN FOR SOMEONE TO
COME OVER AND PLAY. butch-
snakeeater, 46, g ,
#103638
FIRST TIME
SEXKITTEN AND TOMCAT
Happy couple wanting to explore.
Seeking Female for NSA sex and
possible
friendship.
MischiefMonster, 32, g ,
#103863
COUPLE LOOKING...
engaged couple looking to try
our first threesome. in our mid-
twenties, clean, healthy, and
(hopefully to you) attractive/in
shape. looking for female to
talk,meet, and...see where it goes
from there. TeamVenture,
26, ☎, g , #103847
im 19.....just trying to have a good
time. cali721, 20, g ,
#103559
FIRST TIME
Ready for the 1st time. Im a bot-
tom. Discreet. im handsome
18-48. timber, 30, #103352
$PPQFS
call Jayme or Geneva
484-0519
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
This question comes from a point of real frustration. I’m a 26-year-old straight guy. Due to
my being overweight, awkward and generally unable to attract women I’m actually interested
in, I have only been sexually intimate with prostitutes and women of low caliber. I have never
been able to sustain an erection during intercourse. I’ve climaxed during oral sex or handjobs.
I’m not physically accustomed to getting off with anything but my hand. Worst of all, the in-
tense fear of impotence has caused me to avoid sexual liaisons. When dating, I feel threatened
by the expectation of sex within the fi rst few dates. Any solid advice?
Sick Of Beatin’
SEXFINATIC, LOVER,
PLEASER
SUBMISSIVE SEXTOY
LOOKING.....
Savage Love
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Join a gym and lose some weight. You’ll gain some confi dence and improve your health
— and your circulation — which could help in the keeping-the-dick-hard department. (I’m not
telling you that you have to transform yourself into a muscle god to be happy or fi nd love.)
Seeing a doctor and getting your hands on some Viagra couldn’t hurt, either. Vary your mas-
turbatory technique.
Stop sleeping with women unless you’re attracted to them on some level, and recognize
that holding the women who will sleep with you in contempt is an expression of self-hatred
and knock it the fuck off. Since sex within the fi rst few dates makes you feel anxious, inform
anyone you date that you’re not up for having sex within the fi rst few dates. And the next
time you fi nd yourself in bed with someone or sense that things are headed there, SOB, tell
her that you’re really only interested in oral and mutual masturbation — at least at fi rst — and
that you generally take a long time to come. Then you don’t have to stress out about failing
to meet her expectations because she won’t be expecting anything other than what you’re
capable of delivering.
Finally, there are sex workers out there who will not only get you off in exchange for your
money, SOB, but will work with you on improving your skills and building up your confi dence.
You may have slept with one already without realizing it because you so resented having to
pay for it that you dismissed her as a cheap whore to protect your ego. Dumb mistake.
I’m a heterosexual male. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship, I’ve never been in a
short-term relationship, I’ve never been in a relationship. Four make-out sessions in my youth
and paid sex with cheap street prostitutes is all the physical intimacy I’ve ever known. And
some time before the end of this year, I’ll be turning 45. I have no explanation for how I fucked
up something this important this badly for this long, but here are my best clues:
1. Deep down, I don’t think I’ve ever really believed women could possibly fi nd me attractive.
2. For me, being rejected and/or humiliated after approaching someone is an almost para-
lyzing fear.
3. My professional/career/fi nancial situation is only slightly better than my romantic/sexual
situation: I’m always either barely getting by or in some crisis where staying non-homeless is
my only priority.
I want to understand what the fuck is wrong with me and why I’m staring at a lifetime of
totally unfulfi lled romantic and sexual hopes and dreams. The last thing I need right now is
some Pollyanna bullshit. I want brutal honesty.
A Lifelong Onanist Needs Explanations
Some people are alone all their lives because they’re too damaged or too terrifi ed or too
terrifying, ALONE, and some people are alone all their lives because they are simply, as the
cliché goes, unlucky in love. It sounds like you suffer from social and sexual anxieties — dam-
aged and terrifi ed — and could benefi t from seeing a shrink. You say you’re barely getting
by, ALONE, but if you’re spending money on cigarettes or booze or pot or all three, well, you
might want to prioritize your mental health over those nonessentials.
Now here’s the usual line of Pollyanna crap that we advice professionals are supposed to
squart out for people like you: There’s someone out there for everyone, kiddo, hang in there!
But that’s a lie, ALONE, and you know it and I know it and everyone who’s ever said that knows
it. If it were true, then … no one would be alone all his life. Unfortunately, I can’t just tell you to
accept that you’re going to be alone all your life because we can’t know for sure that you were
one of those people — one of those people destined to be alone all his life — until your life ends.
So here’s what you need to do between now and death: Keep a roof over your head, put food
on your table, get some help with your emotional problems and take your pleasures where you
can. Do things you enjoy — alone, if you must — and you might meet someone along the way.
Or not.
And fi nally, ALONE, if the only intimacy available to you is paid sex with cheap street
prostitutes — or, as they prefer to be called, “conveniently located and economically priced sex
workers” — that’s better than nothing. Remember: Sex workers are part of the solution for you,
if not an entirely satisfactory solution, so have a little gratitude and treat them with respect.
I’m a 60-year-old white male, securely retired from a successful professional career. I own a
nice home that’s paid for. I ought to be happy, right? There’s just one catch: I’m still a virgin.
Growing up, I suffered the outcast status to which class brains are routinely assigned. So I
fell behind socially. Then I went to an elite, all-male university and fell even further behind. The
sexual revolution passed me by. So I retreated into my career. I never learned how to date. I
considered paying for sex, but I decided that was the equivalent of admitting that I was a failed
human being. Now I spend my days consumed with loneliness, resentment of the past and a
constant longing for a hint of intimacy. Longevity is a family trait, and I expect to live into my
90s. Is there any plausible way to salvage something from this mess?
Stop The Parade, I Want To Get On
You’ve got a big advantage over ALONE, STPIWTGO, in that you’re fi nancially secure.
That’s something that many women look for in men — women are sex objects, men are success
objects, blah blah blah — and you could leverage your professional success to your personal
advantage. You wouldn’t be the fi rst man who was paying for sex but, since he was careful
to launder the money through a relationship, wouldn’t have to admit to “paying for sex.” So,
STPIWTGO, why not sell the house, move to a retirement community where single women
outnumber the men, wear nice clothes and drive a nice car?
But fi rst: See a doctor. Reading your letter, I wondered if you don’t suffer from an undiag-
nosed case of mild-to-moderate autism. There’s no cure, but a diagnosis might make you feel
like less of a failure, STPIWTGO, and it could give you a better idea of the obstacles you need
to overcome to make a personal and romantic connection with a woman between now and
death. And I know you’re opposed to “paying for it” in the traditional sense — no conveniently
located and economically priced sex workers for you — but you also might want to consider
seeing a shrink who can refer you to a sexual surrogate. Then your insurer will pay for it,
STPIWTGO, not you.
Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage
mail@savagelove.net
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EUGENE WEEKLY JULY 30, 2009
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