TO PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD CALL 484.0519
PLUMBER:
EQUAL
Employment
Opportunity applications for apprentice
Plumber positions are being distributed by
the Are III Plumbing Apprenticeship com-
mittee. This is a State registered program
leading to an Oregon Plumber License. This
opening is for Eastern Lane county and
Douglas County with applications being
distributed from May 27, 2008 through
June 13, 2008. Mail a written request for an
application package and description of
trade to: Committee Administrator’s Office,
864 Nantucket Avenue, Eugene, OR 97404.
Please state in your request that you want
the Plumber application for Lane or
Douglas county. When returning the appli-
cation, supply a copy of a transcript, diplo-
ma, or GED certificate documenting gradu-
ation from high school. All returned appli-
cations must be postmarked no later than
Jun 20, 2008.
MCMENAMINS OUR locations in Eugene are
now hiring both seasonal and long-term,
experienced PT-FT Line Cooks and Servers
for our fast paced restaurants. Must have
flex schedule (days/eves/wknd/hldy). Apply
online at HYPERLINK “http://www.mcme-
namins.com” www.mcmenamins.com. No
phone calls please! E.O.E.
INSTRUCTIONAL ASSISTANT Lane ESD is
seeking applicants for the positions of SPED
Instructional Assistants. See our website at
www.lane.k12.or.us/hr/jobs/index.html.
Contact HR at 541-461-8244 or email
hr@lane.k12.or.us with questions.
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED for SARA’s Treasures
thrift shop & cat adoption center. Your fun,
rewarding 5 hour shift per week will help us
save lives! www.sarastreasures.org. 871
River Road, Eugene (541) 607-8892.
EUGENE’S PRIMER tattoo studio, Black
Lotus, is looking for a licensed tattoo artist.
Please call 541-434-8282 for details.
HOME REFUND JOBS. Earn $3,500-$5,000
Weekly Processing Company Refunds
Online! Guaranteed Paychecks! No
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Volunteer Opportunities
Business Opportunities
LAW OF ATTRACTION Potential to make your
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$100-$500,000 FREE CASH GRANTS!
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Live Operators! 1-800-592-0362 Ext. 235.
PACKAGES PROCESSING manager MAIL
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current job. Easy! Ship parcels from our
clients. Get paid $24 per parcel! Info:
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POST OFFICE now hiring! Avg. pay $20/hour
or $57K yr includes Federal Benefits and OT.
Placed by adSource, not affiliated w/ USPS
who hires. 1-866-616-7019. (AAN CAN)
EMPLOYMENT OFFER Part time. No experi-
ence required. Good people skills. Lots of
opportunities! Manufacturing Excellent pay &
benefits! Full benefits package. contact us for
more: davidsmark_co@yahoo.com Apply now!
GTS COMPUTING
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Jonathan Brown A.A.S., B.S.
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Hair Design by
Indoor Heated Pool
Christina
The Dublin House
“A touch of class on the Oregon Coast”
Advanced training at Toni & Guy Academy.
Ocean Views • Big Clean Rooms
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Color TV • Fly Shop • Trips
Always continuing education through classes and shows.
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Call for:
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(541)
337-1210
AUSSIE PET MOBILE
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Oct. thru June. Call for details.
(541) 547-3703
TOLL FREE:
1-866-yachats (922-4287)
email: dublinhs@casco.net
web: www.dublinhousemotel.com
Hwy. 101 & 7th St. • Yachats, OR 97498
Greenhill
❊ Pet of the Week ❊
Everybody deserves a good home
Patootie is a big, sweet
12 year old gray and
white tabby gentleman
with short fur. He’s talk-
ative and friendly.
Patootie likes being held
and will make a won-
derful lap cat. He was
an indoors/outdoors kitty in his previous home and is
already house trained. He gets along great with young
children and with other cats. Patootie has charmed the
staff here at Greenhill but can’t wait to find his very
own family that he can love and adore. Come meet him
at Greenhill Humane Society Friday through Tuesday,
11am-6pm. We are located at 88530 Green Hill Road
541-689-1503 • www.green-hill.org
88530 Greenhill Rd
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO
Dear Mexican: Why did the Mexican comedian Cantinflas never catch on
in Hollywood? I thought he was supposed to usher in the Mexican wave of
actors and movies that would help transform Hollywood. Instead, that move-
ment ended up flat as a tortilla. – El Curioso
Dear Curious Gabacho: Do people even know who Cantinflas is any-
more? For those of you not familiar with the actor, Cantinflas was
Mexico’s Charlie Chaplin — wait, do people even know who
Charlie Chaplin is anymore?
For those of you not familiar
with the actor, Charlie Chaplin
was the greatest star of the
silent film era — wait, do people
even know what silent films
are anymore? Sorry for the
digressions, but your pre-
gunta is so wonderfully
anachronistic that most
people might think it’s as
relevant to the present day
as the Nez Perce. But
Cantinflas (born Mario
Moreno) offers a valuable les-
son to today’s Mexican thespi-
ans. Instead of accepting every
stereotypical Mexican role Hollywood
offered, Cantinflas signed on for only two: as the butler Passepartout in
the 1956 film Around the World in 80 Days and the titular character in
1960’s Pepe. He drew praise for his acting in the first but bombed in the
second, mostly because of a linguistic comedic barrier: his verbal humor,
a mishmash of double entendres, non sequiturs, and puns so genius it
notched its own verb (cantinflear) in the Royal Academy of Spanish dic-
tionary. Understanding that the nuances of his craft were virtually impos-
sible to translate, Cantinflas decided to focus on Mexican films and never
appeared in another English-language production.
The lesson for today’s wabby Oliviers? Maintain your dignity, don’t
sell off your talent for a cheap buck, and never offer your services for
something called Beverly Hills Chihuahua — wait, Salma Hayek, Cheech
Marin, Edward James Olmos, Paul Rodriguez and George Lopez are
starring in this fall flick? Virtually every modern-day Mexican actor
that studios respect are willing to voice dogs?! Unless it’s a social
satire on the level of The Importance of Being Earnest, this Disney
movie seems like the worst Mexican disaster since NAFTA.
I’m a California white boy with many Mexican friends. In addition to that,
I’ve been running a fantasy baseball league for nine years. For the first time,
we have a large percentage of Mexicans in our league — of the 14 teams,
Mexicans run three of them, and one gabacho has a Mexican wife. One of
those Mexican-run teams came up with the name The Fence Hoppers. This
doesn’t really affect me personally, but as commissioner, I need to make sure
other people don’t get bent out of shape over it. Should I be worried, or is it
the equivalent to blacks dropping N-bombs on each other? You or Bud Selig
are the only two people who can help me. – Dinger Donger
Dear Gabacho: First off, fuck Bud Selig: the man wouldn’t know how
to run Major League Baseball if you gave him two balls and a
Louisville Slugger. Considering the sport features the Cleveland
Indians, whose mascot is a grinning, red-skinned Injun named Chief
Wahoo, and allows a team to ridiculously name itself the Los Angeles
Angels of Anaheim, The Fence Hoppers is benign — and, if anyone
asks, say it refers to horsehides landing in the bleachers instead of
Mexicans plopping onto American soil.
C ON FI D E NT I A L T O: The lady who sent me a profane rant weaving
together Poles, Mexicans, Ellis Island, taco necks and leprosy. Chula: I
loved your letter, but I’m not in the habit of printing thoughts; I answer
questions. Same goes for the rest of the Know Nothing nation:
Guatemalans are smart enough to turn their bile into preguntas — are
ustedes dumber than Guatemalans?
Get all your Mexican needs at youtube.com/askamexicano, myspace.com/ocwab,
and themexican@askamexican.net!
Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm • Closed Wednesday & Thursday
WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
EUGENE WEEKLY
MAY 22, 2008 37