GORGEOUS GENIUS
DEAR TINA & LOUIE
ROCK MY VOTE
MENS HEALTH GROUP
we viewed each other on
cupid. missed contacting you.
me: psychotherapist, tall,
wicked smart, very playful,
high emotional i.q. if you sup-
ply email, ill send photo. Write
to blind box “Gorgeous
Genius” ✍
I felt a nice warm vibe from
you both when we met at the
Kiva on Mon. 2/4/08. Me: black
beret & grayish goatee. Maybe
we could coordinate our shop-
ping schedules & meet there
again? ✍ 2650
Sen. Obama. Hope to see you
in Eugene in the Spring!
Revolution?
Health group forming. Hiking,
weight lifting, massage, team
sports. 20’s & 30’s, bi & bi-curi-
ous. ✍ 2640
MY HEROES
Close call last Feb! Glad you
have friends who cover for
you! Sorry about your whining
alcoholic 2nd hand roommate.
I enjoy our morning ren-
dezvous’ also. Dave T.
To the gentleman who found
my purse at 30th & Main and
took it to the Springfield police
station, THANK YOU! There
should be more people in this
world like you.
DON W.
MANCHESTER
No coincidence running into to
you two days in a row. I regret
not being more outgoing.
Wanna make friends? Same
times and places?
HOTTIE VAMPIRE
You, Me at Springfield Family
Physicians Lab. You the hot,
petite vampire. You’re leaving,
I am having sadness! Who will
palpitate my throbbing veins
when you’re gone? You’ll be
missed..........
HUMBLE CONNECTION
We saw you, working with
humble heart across the alley
as we dish out our beautiful OG
produce. Shall we bowl? ✍
2654
NOWHERE
I’ll see you again, but nay will
you be there. And then there
you’ll be, but I’ll be waiting
here. And I’ll keep on search-
ing, for I’ve found you
nowhere. ✍ 2653
SCARY GUY AT VD
We love your murse aka man
purse it’s so frickin sexy you
can manage my calls anytime.
BROKEN HALLELUJAH
EW horoscopes, crosswords,
QL, Lword, potlucks, daily CL
show & tell, your snorty laugh-
ter, your peace, your love, your
beautiful eyes & smile. I miss it
all. I <3 u
SAMMY
Fri 2/1 @ cosmic pizza, we
talked about the jugglers & our
majors but we didn’t have
much time to talk about much
else, coffee sometime? ✍ sier-
ra
LEANNA
from Rainforest Espresso. I
hear you’re shop is no longer.
So sad. You’re super cool and
oh so beautiful. Let’s go out
sometime. Guy in red VW ✍
2652
CITY OF MOUNTAINS
You give me hope and make
me think about things I have
never thought about, you have
been an underlying gravity in
my life, you need to know this.
✍ 2648
Mature, petite & young at
heart. Fun with experience.
Open minded and discrete. In
& out calls 653-1565.
XXXXXXXXXXX
You are beautiful and catchy. I
would dip you in some batter
and fry you up, you are so deli-
cious! Perfect bangs and
sports knowledge! Be my
belated Valentine BABY!
JUNIPER TREE
Shade me with your tree. You
are the most amazing person I
have ever met. I’m so glad you
are mine.. Lets raise our family
together.. Love Tydye
ART SCHOOL GIRL
Wherever life takes us, my love
will always be with you.
MY SWEET CHIPMUNK
I was a fool to break our trust.
I beg you to forgive me so we
can share the rest of our lives
together. I’m sorry for every-
thing. Love, Chubby.
CAMMY
How’s the fireball coming
along? I trust you have dis-
patched Ryu for me. We should
meet and discuss our global
conquest. I can make you
Empress. M. Bison
SKY
Our old house is unoccupied.
Go there and get book from
black fridge in garage next to
Ford. PHX
LOVE OF MY LIFE
Day will come. No more cell
phones or mountain ranges to
separate us. I Love & Adore your
Heart & Soul. Happy Valentines
Day Kristine. Love Keene
49 YO BI LEZ
Newly single. Looking for fun,
bush mowing, mild b/d. Safe.
Discreet. No strings, drugs,
smoking, heavy drinking. Age,
gender unimportant. Must
love to give oral. 556 ✍
SXY BLONDE 4 BLACK
Sexy, thin, blonde housewife
seeking endowed black male
to help husband fulfill fantasy.
Ever wanted to do another
man’s sexy wife? email baby-
blonde@comcast.net We’re for
real! You be too!
FRIENDLY FLING
Married man missing warm
hugs and kisses. HWP, funny,
witty, sarcastic and shaved
head. Would love to share pas-
sion and romance. Lets start
with coffee and muffin. Write
to blind box “Friendly Fling” ✍
SWINGERS PARTY
A PLEASANT SURPRISE
Sensual, busty, pretty, atten-
tive, sexy massage, tan, classy.
Discreet.
Wanna
play?
Couples? Eugene, Florence,
Newport, Corvallis. Kristy. 337-
7847
HAPPIER ENDINGS!
Hot sex with hot babes! Sign-
up for free & get laid tonight!
www.ORSexSearch.com.
DESIREE’S ESCORTS
Sexy, sweet, and seductive.
Discreet, classy, and profes-
sional. Your pleasure is our
business. Desiree’s Escorts.
5 4 1 - 4 3 1 - 7 0 6 5 ,
www.desireesescorts.com.
Indulge in your fantasies!
A TRUE JEWEL
MRS. ROBINSON
Athletic, energetic, good look-
ing, long lasting 35 yo seeking
to please older women. Hot
tubbing, dinner or any other
secret rendezvous you desire.
Write to blind box “500”✍
Redheaded, BBW, 42DD, 200
lbs. Sensual Erotic Xtacy. Mon-
Sat, 10am-10pm. Incall only.
988-0562.
ARE YOU FREE?
CHUCKLES
DOMINA/COMPANION
MistressE, curvy, sexy & fun.
541-543-8558.
Sultry 30 year young female,
wavy blond hair, chocolate
brown eyes, golden bronze
skin, good listener, nonjudg-
mental, classy and sexy. Call
me lets have some fun.
Incall/outcall by apt. 541-543-
0202.
Attractive couple looking for
couples to get together for a
swingers party at our place for
more information please con-
tact us. Write to blind box
“Swingers Party” ✍
Middle aged, middle sized,
middle sexed, bi-male, consid-
erate, organic, vegan, long
lasting, energetic, creative,
love to give oral, eager to
please and enjoy, clean, bi-
friendly, honest, couple or sin-
gle man or woman. Corvallis
area. ✍ 2574
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
ALL THE FREAKS
Calling all the freaks! Want to
show the world how freaky
deaky you can be? Help us pre-
pare our "Freak of the Day"
calendar. Send pictures of you
in all your freaky splendor.
Write Blind Box: "Freaky."
TANNER
FREYA...
...where have you gone? We
raged and torn this town apart
with our ninja skillz, now your
no where to be seen...Come
find me, you know where i am.
LOST CONTACT
Debra Reid, I lost your contact
information. Please Call Duane
Smith, Ashland’s Lithia Springs
Resort. 540 660 8806, or email
me at duane@ashland-
magazine.com
Savage Love
MADISON
PLAYMATES ENTERTAIN-
MENT
Choose the right playmate for
your needs. Private shows,
Bachelor Parties, Body rub
down, Hot tub shows, Erotic
dances and much more. Open
24/7. Call 541-337-5820.
Myspace.com/playmatesent.
Daylyn, Chuckles is looking for
you. 760-553-4555.
EW! IT’S PERSONAL
WINK & KINK
Eugene Weekly will soon be
launching a fun, brand new, totally
local personals site. To be among
the first to know about the news
and special offers, sign up at
www.eugeneweekly.com
I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 30. He’s been married three times and has six chil-
dren from a variety of women. I know, I know, it sounds bad. But he’s one of those guys who
wanted a family. Anyway, long story short, I feel insecure because he has had a MILLION
experiences and I have not. So I asked him to take his porn off our computer. He did so.
When I came home today and sat at the computer, I noticed there was lubricant next to
the keyboard. I thought to myself, “That’s not where I saw you last.” I looked at his folders
(I KNOW: violation of privacy) and I didn’t see any porn. So I went to the internet browser
to look at the “history” and guess what? It had all been deleted. I know his computer is not
set to automatic history clearance, so he had to clear it manually.
Can I be a bitch and ask him about this? “I noticed that you deleted your history—and
what is the lube doing here?” Or should I let it drop? I know it’s unrealistic to expect him
never to masturbate. I just don’t want him looking at other girls while he does. My bitchy
side is just ROARING to get out. HELP!
Keep The Bitch Caged
What we have here, KTBC, is a failure to correctly diagnose the problem.
Why is this 30-year-old, thrice-married, six-times-a-father guy with you? Because men
like your boyfriend prefer to date pathetic, inexperienced 20-year-olds because they’re
foolish enough—you are foolish enough—to swallow his bullshit (“I’m one of those guys who
always wanted a family”) and regurgitate it on cue (“He’s one of those guys who always
wanted a family”). Someone who wants a family doesn’t start and destroy three of them
before age 30. Those aren’t the actions of an aspiring family man, little miss, those are the
actions of a sociopath.
As for his masturbatory habits, KTBC, as I see it, the more of his supercharged spunk
that winds up in dirty T-shirts and crusty socks, the better. Married three times, six kids by
a variety of women, and a 20-year-old girlfriend who, due to her youth and inexperience,
fails to see his marital and reproductive histories for the relationship-ending deal breakers
they ought to be, and who sends advice columnists letters about his porn use instead of,
say, the most effective possible forms of birth control available to her: Once again, KTBC,
the more of his spunk that winds up in the laundry, and not in you, the better.
Dump him. DTMFA. And find a new boyfriend—not one who never masturbates, as that
man doesn’t exist. All men masturbate (most women do, all should), all men look at porn
(many women do, more should), and all women need to get over the porn and masturbation
thing. If you want a male in your life who you can order never to look at porn or mastur-
bate—if you want a male you can castrate—get a dog.
Just before I married, I got a CB-2000 male chastity device and gave it to my wife as a
joke Xmas present. She had previous mates fool around on her and I wanted to let her
know I was serious.
We played with it some and a year later she got me a CB-3000. Soon she was keeping
me in it for a week at a time. Now she keeps me in it for a month at a time. While I have
adjusted to this, I miss being able to masturbate when I want to. I have tried to talk her
into allowing me to be free again and she refuses. It’s not that she’s afraid I will fool
around, but she believes that I’m more attentive, caring, and loving when kept in this con-
dition. Is it becoming more common for wives to keep their husbands in chastity?
Lost Over Cock Kept Erotically Denied
No, LOCKED, it’s not. Unfortunately, bullshit letters are all too common.
So you bought an expensive male chastity device as a gag gift—those CB-2000s start at
$150—because, hey, there’s nothing a woman with adultery issues wants more at Christmas
than a gag gift that plays on her fears and insecurities. You must be a gas at funerals,
LOCKED. And now your wife keeps your dick locked up for a month at a time. Against your
will. And you’re powerless to do anything about it.
Uh-huh.
If your wife keeps you in chastity—if you have a wife—it’s because being locked up in a
CB-3000 turns you on. Like most male chastity fetishists, you find the scenario more excit-
ing if it’s something your wife does to you, not something you have to beg the wife to do,
but you can’t expect the rest of us to play along. If you want to see your fetish discussed in
Savage Love, just be honest. Send me a letter that says, “Write about the freaky shit that
turns me on!” But don’t make up some bullshit scenario.
Oh, and KTBC? You have options besides a castrated dog: Dump the motherfucker
you’re with, go to the message boards at www.malechastityforum.com, and you’ll find guys
whose ultimate fantasy is being with a woman so insecure, or so controlling, that she wants
to keep his cock under lock and key.
I am a 25-year-old gay man. I love sex. So does my boyfriend. The problem is that my
boyfriend ejaculates prematurely when he bottoms. When he tops, he can hump me all day
and it’s awesome—but when I stick it in his ass, we only have about 60 seconds before he
ejaculates. He does not jack off while he bottoms and I have never seen anything like it.
The first time it happened, of course I felt like a hot stud. After the fifth time, I was wishing
the ride lasted longer. Sixty seconds just isn’t enough time to fully enjoy the awesomeness
that is butt sex. I asked him about it and he said that this quick splooge has always hap-
pened when he bottoms and he doesn’t think there is anything he can do. (So much for
feeling like a stud.)
Is there anything we can do to prolong the fuck? He never ejaculates so quickly other-
wise. I am in love, he gives a great blowjob, and I’ll stay with him no matter what. But if you
have any suggestions…
Timed Out Man
Just one: After your boyfriend comes, leave your dick in his ass. Stop fucking, stay very
still, and concentrate on keeping your erection. After a minute or two, once the boyfriend’s
orgasmic contractions have subsided, slowly start fucking him again. He’ll have to breathe
deep, concentrate on relaxing, and, yes, give it up for you, suffer a bit, take it like the bot-
tom bitch he is (at that moment, not all the time), etc.
It’s the only way you’ll ever get to spend more than 60 seconds fucking his ass—he’s got
a hair-trigger (or cock-trigger) prostate, and always will. Your only option for a nice, long,
leisurely fuck, TOM, is to keep fucking him after he comes, when the pleasure is drained—
quite literally—out of the action for him.
Tits on the boyfriend? Tabasco on the clit? Tranny sacks? Readers’ answers to those
unanswerable questions are up now at www.thestranger.com/savage/stumped.
Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
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FEBRUARY 21, 2008 43