Savage Love
Abbreviations: A Asian • B Black • Bi Bisexual • C Couple • Ch Christian • D Divorced • F Female • G Gay • H Hispanic
HWP Height/ Weight proportionate • J Jewish • M Male • NA No alcohol • NAm Native American • ND No drugs • NS No smoking
P Professional • S Single • W White • Wi Widowed • ISO In search of • LTR Long-term relationship
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BSS
As we grow up we learn that
even one person that wasn’t;t
supposed to ever let you down
probably will. You have. What
about our porch swing fanta-
sy? Loving still, KB.
MY HAPPINESS
Love is a disease. She is love.
Throw the magnet away, I did.
Good-bye for now K.J. We too can
fall in love a second to late. ☎9561
PUMPKIN
You are my sunshine, my only
sunshine. I love you, Kiki, and
Apple! ☎ 9546
A LONG LIFE AHEAD
We met at the grocery store.
You asked me to watch a
movie. My heart was yours that
night. You are my superman.
SLACKERS UNITE
ISO SEXY FRIEND
COUPLE OF LOVERS
Fellow SubGeniuses and
Discordians of Eugene, let us
join together once more, and
reclaim this town which once
was ours! Call me, and let us
unite for grand times, and won-
drous merry making. Praise
Bob! All hail Discordia! ☎ 9618
Hot sexy couple ISO sexy
female to play and party with.
Let’s have a drink 2gether and
see what happens...Attractive
female only please. ☎ 9622
Seeking to share our time and
love with another. Looking for
a female interested in a simple
friendship. We are both early
30’s and attractive. We’re open
to you. ☎ 9564
TRANSGIRLS LIKE US
Corvallis MWM outdoorsy TG M-
F seeks other TG’s to go to
movies, museums, hiking,
shopping, eating, and talking.
ISO friends, not into clubbing,
heavy drinking, drugs, or
affairs. ☎ 9582
SCI-FI BOOK CLUB
Looking to start a book/activi-
ty club, focusing on specula-
tive fiction and horror, meet-
ing once a month to discuss
the book we’ve chosen to read
as a group. If interested, gim-
mie a call! ☎ 9572
WRITERS GROUP
Writer’s group forming to meet
weekly and discuss works of all
types, form poetry n’ prose to
short stories and longer works
in a friendly, casual atmos-
phere for serious writers bent
on getting published. Call for
details! ☎ 9626
SCI-FI WRITERS CLUB
A new writer’s group, focussing
on works of science-fiction, fan-
tasy, and horror, is forming to cri-
tique our works with one anoth-
er in a fun, laid back environ-
ment, with focus on getting pub-
lished! Call if interested! ☎ 9625
GOOD TIMES
To all of you at Coach Glass, I
wish you the best in Eugene
from an old friend Diaz in TX.
COUPLE WATCHING
MWC looking to watch other
MC having sex and vice versa.
It can be as crazy or sane as
you want. ☎ 9644
TRUCK DRIVERS WANTED
Man seeks truck drivers for
prostyle wrestling matches at
Provo, Utah, 40 to 70 years old,
5’10” to 6’4” tall, 240 to 350
pounds. Wayne, 801-623-1790.
WHEN IN GREECE...
Hi there, I live in Athens,
Greece. Looking for well
endowed man to give me sexu-
al pleasure. Can you come to
me? ☎ 9630
WANTED: OLDER WOMAN
CRUDE OIL
Attractive, 50, MM, 6’, 190,
clean and discreet seeks sexy
older woman (70+) for occa-
sional afternoons of fun and
sex. Please call. ☎ 9617
Kyoto. Telegram from Kuala
Lampur. Pirates off Coast of
Africa. Tribal Leaders in the
Americas. Islam and the
Russian Federation. Tip off the
Iceberg, for your 25th birthday,
hugs. ☎ 9384
LET’S ENJOY OURSELVES
Looking for experienced
women who know how to oper-
ate BeWa Balls. Show me
please what they have done
for you. It’s seventh heaven all
over again. ☎ 9611
MASSAGE
Couple, 40s, ISO fit, account-
able, playful couple or women
for connection, learning, mas-
sage and friendship. If you
have any questions come
check it out BABY! ☎ 9374
PSSST, HEY!
91.9 KRVM serves Breakfast
with the Blues every morning
of the week! Pass it on!
I WANT TO BE KEPT
I’m ready to be spoiled by a
real gentleman. Lonely? Need
a change? I love dates,
romance, sensual touches.
Must be handsome, kind, very
generous, goal oriented, finan-
cially secure, active, 30+. Take
care of my bills, I’ll take care of
you! I’m kind, pretty, sensual,
40, classy, ready for something
new! ☎ 9555
SHE’S SO FRESH!
Just like lemonade! Eugene
proudly welcomes Jade! 223-
6249.
SWEET & PETITE A NICE
LITTLE TREAT
LET’S HAVE SOME FUN
Chyna 541-606-3386
Honest. Have a relationship
that lacks. Discretion needed.
Strong, clean, handsome male.
Love to be safe, secure sup-
port system for a female
and/or couple who like to wig-
gle and show off. ☎ 9542
DESIREE’S ESCORTS
Oregon’s hottest in adult enter-
tainment. Beautiful ladies,
upscale, classy, sensual, profes-
sional, discreet and confiden-
tial. Open 24 hours, your pleas-
ure is our business. Call 541-431-
7065, www.desireesescorts.com
SWM, 48
SWM seeks voluptuous large
breasted lady for discreet hot
nasty fun. Age unimportant.
Let’s get hot and melt some
ice. Must be a good kisser! ☎
9565
MADISON
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I regard this column, gentle readers, as a sacred calling and I would never intentionally do anything that
would cause you to question my judgment. Sound judgment, after all, is the professional advice columnist’s
most precious commodity.
Nevertheless, I have—once again—stupidly auctioned off the right to give advice in this space. Every
once in a while some do-gooder gets me shitfaced and the next thing I know I’m raising money for some
dumbass charity. (This week’s column is feeding the homeless—you know, in addition to clothing them.)
Auctioning off the column is a risky business because what if the winning bidders are assholes? What if they
spew bullshit? What if they cruelly abuse readers seeking my counsel?
And what if they’re better at all of that than I am?
Because being an asshole, spewing bullshit, and cruelly abusing readers is my goddamn job. And it’s not
in my best interest to create the impression that just anyone can do this shit.
Meet the winning bidders: Steve Lippman and his lovely wife, Marla Russo. Steve is a 37-year-old Jewish
dude who does advocacy work for a socially responsible investment firm that I’m not allowed to name in
my skeezy advice column. Marla works in public health and was raised Catholic. For the sake of the folks
whose letters they’re responding to, I’m hoping Steve and Marla are good at this. But for the sake of my own
job security, gentle readers, I’m hoping Steve and Marla totally suck.
I hope you post this note as a warning. I recommend that everybody stay away from Craigslist. When
I started looking at the personals on Craigslist, I was fascinated (there are some freaks out there), but I was
also looking for pictures with bare female flesh. After I exhausted the pages for cities in the U.S., I started
looking at ads posted in other countries. That’s when I noticed that the same hot babe in Finland posted
the same picture in six different U.S. states and four different countries.
She wasn’t the only one posting the same ad in many different places. When I realized that all these
offers for NSA sex were scams, I lost interest in even looking at the pictures. Your readers should know
that hot anonymous sex is unlikely to occur—at least through Craigslist—and focus their efforts elsewhere.
Don’t Be Fooled
STEVE: If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. On the internet, that applies to: (1) offers
for creams to help men “grow extra inches”; (2) chain e-mails claiming that if you forward them, you’ll get
cash from Bill Gates/a big pharmaceutical company will give free drugs to a poor kid with cancer; and (3)
Craigslist ads for no-strings-attached sex posted by women with pictures that look remarkably similar to
porn stars or Lindsay Lohan.
But there are real women on Craigslist. Some of them post for NSA sex in the Casual Encounters sec-
tion, and many more post in other categories, like Women Seeking Men, Women Seeking Women, and
Missed Connections. I know this because five years ago I met my own “too good to be true” wife by answer-
ing her Craigslist ad (which I want my in-laws to know was NOT a posting for NSA sex).
MARLA: SA sex is fun, too.
DAN: Okay, that wasn’t too bad—although it would be nice if Marla would shut the fuck up and let Steve
get a word in edgewise. But Steve and Marla weren’t nearly abusive enough to DBF, who comes across like
a total douche. A true advice professional would call attention to DBF’s total douchebaggery. Grade: B-.
I’m sure you’ve answered a question like this before or have refused to answer on principle, but…
where can you find down-to-earth, laid-back gay men? I’m trying to avoid the online-dating thing because
it’s not really romantic, but trying to meet guys in a large room with a remix of a remix bouncing in the
background isn’t working either.
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STEVE: In less than five minutes of internet searching, I found the Steel City Skiers, a group for gay
skiers and snowboarders in Pittsburgh; Gapers Block, a Chicago book club for gays and lesbians who read
books about the Windy City or by authors from that area; Bottom Dwellers, a gay-and-lesbian scuba-diving
club in Seattle; and OUTdoors KC, “a gay-inclusive club for those interested in biking, hiking, walking, camp-
ing, and other outdoor recreational activities in Kansas City.” Point is, even if you don’t like online person-
als, with little or no effort you are only a few clicks away from finding a group of gay men who live near you
and like whatever scene you do.
MARLA: Nice job, Steve.
DAN: Blah blah, Marla! Let the man talk! But Steve really pounds his point home—and even works LONE’s
sign-off into his response. B+.
www.orsexsearch.com
I’m hoping you can give me some advice. I’m a happily married 27-year-old female. The problem is that
I’ve never been able to have an orgasm. I had several relationships before my husband and none of those
men were able to get me to orgasm. I’ve tried to masturbate several times, but am not able to reach
orgasm. Are some women physically incapable of having an orgasm? Do you have any advice for me? This
is upsetting my husband, and he feels like he’s failing.
Not Coming Around
MARLA: It’s a commonly cited statistic that 70 percent of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone,
so one question is whether your husband and previous sex partners have provided you with enough clitoral
stimulation with their hands, mouths, plush toys, etc., for you to orgasm. You haven’t given yourself much
clitoral stimulation either if you’ve only masturbated a few times.
Putting pressure on yourself with expectations from you or your husband isn’t going to help the situa-
tion any. But putting pressure on yourself with a Hitachi Magic Wand or other vibrators may help a whole
lot! Vibrators are so popular these days that it’s only a matter of time until Apple comes out with cute white
iVibes that let you listen to music, make cell-phone calls, send e-mail, and watch YouTube videos all while
stimulating your clitoris. Until then, there are great options available online at www.babeland.com and
www.goodvibrations.com. Take some time to experiment on your own with what feels good. If that works
for you, you can incorporate it into sex with your husband.
STEVE: If you still can’t orgasm, you should talk to your doctor because there are a few hormone dis-
orders, medications you may be on, or other medical conditions that can prevent orgasm. Some might say
to start with this step, but quality time with a new vibrator is more fun than talking to your doctor about
this issue, and might just be the cure. Plus, you can get a vibrator delivered to your door faster than you
can get an appointment with most HMO doctors.
DAN: Marla and Steve’s joint response to NCA was exhaustive, helpful, and informative. Hell, I learned a
thing or two. A+. But their response lacked the bile, invective, profanity, tangents, and poop jokes that are
the hallmark of a true advice professional at work. My job is saved!
For more from Marla and Steve—Marla explains why breastfeeding is the “best” birth-control option;
Steve and Marla lay into one total douche—go to eugeneweekly.com.
A new Savage Love podcast is available for download every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
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