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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 3, 2007)
TO PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD CALL 484.0519 ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER The Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (members include papers like the one you’re holding in your hand) is looking for an experienced account executive or sales manager to sell advertising, as well as over- see marketing and operations for its suc- cessful national classified advertising net- work. You must be able to work independ- ently in our small, non-corporate DC office and know your way around spreadsheets, databases and the web. Significant income potential and excellent health, dental, vaca- tion benefits and IRA. Relocation expenses paid. Resume, cover letter and salary expectations no later than Friday, Jan. 11 to rkarpel at aan.org or AAN, 1250 Eye Street NW, Ste. 804, Washington, DC 20005. (AAN CAN) MYSTERY SHOPPERS. Get paid to shop! Retail/Dining establishments need under- cover clients to judge the quality/customer service. Earn up to $150 a day. Call 800-901- 9370. (AAN CAN) HOME REFUND jobs. 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HELP WANTED. Earn extra income assem- bling CD cases from home. No experience necessary. Start immediately. 1-800-405- 7619 ext. 150. http://www.easywork-great- pay.com (AAN CAN) MAKE $150/HOUR Get Paid Cash for Your Opinion! Earn $5 to $75 to fill out simple surveys online. Start NOW! http://www.paidchoice.com (AAN CAN) Mediation Problem Solving for People Willing to Work Together. Before you hire a lawyer call for a free consultation. Dan Stein Family Mediation Family - Divorce - Workplace 344-7068 www.dansteinmediation.com SALSA DANCE TANGO CENTER! F R I D AY , J an u ar y 4 t h F re e l es so n 9 - 1 0p m • D a nc e s t a rt s at 1 0 p m $ 5 • A l l A ge s N E W F O U R W E E K B E G I N N I N G L E V E L S AL S A CL AS S S T AR T S Thurs. January 3 rd $35 or $30 if you pre-Register 194 W. Broadway Ave., Eugene • 514-1393 ¡ASK A MEXICAN! BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO As everyone knows, dogs seem to reflect their masters’ personali- ties. Likewise, the breeds invented by a nation say a lot about that nation. Germans bred the German Shepard and Rottweilers: smart, loyal, faithful, yet a little cold and not the kind of dogs you want to piss off. The French created the poodle: all about style, yappy, not great fighters, yet not as dumb as they look. Canadians created the Labrador retriever: good hunters and friendly family dogs. Gringos seem to have adopted the pit bull as the national dog — both are reactive killers of children. When I think of Mexican breeds, one type comes to mind: the Chihuahua, play toys for fresas like Paris Hilton. After thinking much harder, I thought of the xoloitzcuintle: bald and edible. Are these dogs the best representa- tives of the national character of Mexico? Does a Chihuahua really fit a nation of macho men and feisty women? Or are you really a nation of perros electricos: scrappy little sur- vivors in need of some updated market- ing? — Dueño de un Perro Eléctrico Dear Owner of an Electric Dog. Tengo que take issue with your pit bull characterization. My chica caliente is the proud owner of one, and she’s the kindest bitch around humans (dogs are another story). With that in mind, I’d argue that pit bulls are the quintessential American dog, as wabs, negritos and gabachos alike own them for the same reason the world respects and fears Americans — a Manichean innateness that loves and kills with equal ease. The difference in comportment for both is a reflection of the trainer, and the results show up quickly — just look at us after eight years of the Bush II administration. Ahora, on to the Mexican dogs. Don’t give up so easily, Dueño: Mexico’s two indigenous breeds fully represent the Mexican soul. The American Kennel Club doesn’t recognize the xoloitzcuintle (also known as the Mexican hairless) even though the noble critters date back millennia, much like Congress won’t recognize illegal Mexicans despite their many years of work- ing in the United States. Chihuahuas are even more quintessentially Mexican: Napoleonic in complex, clannish, usually brown but available in all colors, maligned by gabachos as puny runts but secretly ferocious and smart and bearers of muchos, muchos babies. Some PC pendejos might cringe at the comparison, but hey: better the anthropomorphic conversation deal with dogs than cockroaches, ¿qué no? w w w . n o rt h we st s a ls ad a nc e n ew s . c om AUSSIE PET MOBILE Keep ’em Clean ’n Cute Greenhill ❊ Pet of the Week ❊ Everybody deserves a good home Zeke is a young, male Pit Bull/Border Collie mix who is a tad shy at first, but warms up quick. He gets along great with children over eight years old, but would do best in a home without a cat. Zeke knows several com- mands, but is eager to learn more. He is a ‘Second Chance’ dog, meaning he was is a transfer from another shelter. Zeke is eagerly awaiting his forever home and would be a great companion animal for the right family. 541-689-1503 • www.green-hill.org 88530 Greenhill Rd Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm • Closed Wednesday & Thursday M OBILE P ET G ROOMING THAT COMES TO YOU ! $ 10 OFF first time customers An additional $ 10 OFF OR FREE toothbrushing through January. 1-800-PET-MOBILE 1-800-738-6624 www.aussiepetmobile.com I'm a restaurant owner in Las Vegas. How come when a Mexican comes to apply for a job, he or she will bring several friends and sometimes their entire family? And when I ask them for their call back phone number, they get all paranoid and fumble through two or three phone numbers before they give the “right one.” Dude, I'm not asking for their social security number! — Chef Viva Las Vegas Dear Gabacho: Dude, the desert sun has cooked your brain into carne asada. Mexicans are bringing along friends and familia because they want you to give them a job. That’s how so many Mexicans came here in the first place: gabachos hired Mexicans, who knew other Mexicans and urged their bosses to hire them, who knew others until one day, Americans needed to dial 1 for English. Trust those family-bringing Mexicans and make sure to put the smartest one in the head slot to whip his compas into shape. As for the carousel of phone numbers, the answer is any number of reasons: Maybe the Mexican in question is debating whether to give you a cell or home num- ber. Perhaps they just moved into town and honestly can’t remember their new número. But it’s probably just that they’re trying to remember which stolen identity they’re using on that particular día. Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net. Letters will be edited for clarity, cabrones. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we’ll make one up for you! Gustavo Arellano is an investigative reporter on staff at the OC Weekly in Orange County, California. His "¡Ask a Mexican!" column began in 2004 and today is syndicated in 32 publications nationwide. He is also the author of a book by the same name. An extensive interview with Arellano can be found in the EW archives online for Nov. 29, 2007. JANUARY 3, 2008 33
