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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (July 20, 2006)
BY SALLY SHEKLOW Old Glory 029(68372:1727+( +8/7 Uber-conservatives flog their wedgies. J une was a newsy month. Rush Limbaugh’s latest ef- forts to pump himself up took the Comedic Muse prize. Yes, yes, we all hoped he’d face stiff penalties and do hard time — good ol’ LIMP- baugh, what an upstanding guy. Then we had Congress’s frisky roll in the hay with their two hot constitutional amendments. Thank Goddess those bans on gay marriage and flag burning failed. Whew! But don’t get too comfy — you can bet your rainbow bumper sticker that the queer-hating flag- wavers aren’t appeased. Soon as the Repuglicans need another wedge issue to muster religious right fervor, they’ll be baaaaack. And oh, how the uber-conservatives love to trot out their two big wedgies — as if defending the flag and the sanctity of marriage will distract us from the sorry state of health care and education and the horrors in Darfur. Not to mention Iraq. Seems to work for them. I wonder if trashing queer people and flag burners at the same time is part of their sinister strategy. We’ve all heard bigots justify discrimination against lesbian, gay, bi, and trans people by lumping us in with pedophilia, polygamy and bestiality. At least when they call us perverts you get where they’re coming from. But lumping us in with the flag burners? What’s up with that? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with flag burners — not that I know any. But it’s not like they’re oppressed. Nobody has to advocate for their rights. Unless you count the ACLU. Or the First Amendment. But get real. Other than a slap-on-the-wrist arrest here and there and a smattering of oddball death threats, what problems do flag burners face, anyway? It’s not like they live in some kind of flag burning closet where they’re afraid to be themselves. It’s not really a big issue for them. When was the last time you heard a rumor about some major celebrity or politician or White House correspondent being a flag burner? If they really feel the need to connect with other flag burners, let them form some kind of support group. Can you imagine? Hello. My name is Butch and I’m a flag burner. I first noticed the urge when I was a little kid. I’d go up into the attic with my best friend and pretend, but we didn’t actually DO anything, not till much later, anyway. In high school someone said it was sick to think about it all the time so I told my coun- selor. I guess that was the wrong person to confide in, but how could I have known she’d have a “moral and religious” problem with it? Anyhow, she told my parents and all hell broke loose. They were going to throw me out of the house unless I agreed to go to one of those camps. But camp just made it more intense. I thought about it morning and night. EVERY morning and night. Day in and day out, up the pole, down the pole — it was torture! Then I went to college. Whoa boy. Talk about temptation. In my dorm lots of peo- ple discussed it, right out in the open. Said it was nothing to be ashamed of. I knew by then not to mention that kind of talk to my parents. They were already convinced college was filling my head with rebellious ideas. As if I hadn’t been like this all my life. I guess I’d have to say I was born this way, but I also choose it. I choose to be myself and not be ashamed. Hey wait a minute! I get the picture. Same-sex couples and our friends who think we should have the freedom to marry actually do have something in common with flag burners. I mean if we aren’t free to express ourselves, what kind of a country is this? Somebody hand me a lighter. iÛi«iÌ>Ê Ã>LÌià iÀÞÊ i ÃiÀÛià : :RUGV0XVLFE\ $QGUHZ/OR\G:HEEHU 7LP5LFH Ê>ÊÃÞÃÌiÊÌ >̽ÃÊ >À`ÊÌ Õ`iÀÃÌ>`]Ê iÀÞÊ iÊ i«Ã «i«iÊÜÌ Ê`iÛi«iÌ>Ê `Ã>LÌiÃÊ>V iÛiÊÜ >ÌÊÌ iÞ Ü>ÌÊvÀÊvi°ÊºÊ>««ÀiV>Ìi }Û} L>V >` i«} «i«i /\ULFVE\ 'LUHFWHGE\ -RH=LQJR )ULGD\RU6DWXUGD\DW30-XO\ $FWRUV&DEDUHW:LOODPHWWH )ULGD\ 6DWXUGD\DW30 -XO\ 6XQGD\0DWLQHH-XO\DW30 6RUHQJ7KHDWHU &DOO 23(1,1*$8*867 $&(<RXWK$FDGHP\SUHVHQWV 7KXUVGD\)ULGD\RU6DWXUGD\DW30 6DWXUGD\DW30 $XJXVW $&($FDGHP\6WDJH :HVWWK$YH $ &DOO ZZZ$FWRUV&DEDUHWRUJ Dr. Miriam Mazure-Mitchell • Oregon board licensed • Naturopathic medicine • Primary health care Draws on current medical research to provide safe, cost- effective treatments. Mazure-Mitchell, ND personalizes patient care to resolve the causes of symptoms including: • ADD/Autism • Allergies/Asthma • Blood pressure • Cholesterol • Cancer • Cold/Flu/Viruses • Diabetes • Fatigue • Hormones/Thyroid • Irritable Bowel • Neurological conditions • More • In addition to diagnosis and treatments, General exams, Bowen adjustments, spine & tissue manipulations and detox hydrotherapy are available. • Covered by most insurance plans 686-3399 • 2833 Willamette St, Suite A WHO YOU GONNA BLAME? Award-winning writer Sally Sheklow waves the rainbow flag in Eugene. EDITORIAL Editor Ted Taylor News Editor Alan Pittman Associate Editor Melissa Bearns Arts Editor Molly Templeton Calendar Editor/Copy Editor Suzi Steffen Contributing Editor Anita Johnson Reporter Kera Abraham Contributing Writers Jason Blair, Brett Campbell, Rachael Carnes, Michael Cockram, David Constantin, Rachel Foster, Kate Rogers Gessert, James Johnston, Sharleen Nelson, Mary O’Brien, Sylvie Pederson, Vanessa Salvia, Steven Sawada, Sally Sheklow, Lance Sparks Interns Dan Hoyt, Tim O’Rourke, Adrienne van der Valk ART DEPARTMENT Art Director/Production Manager Kevin Dougherty Graphic Artist/Webmaster James Bateman Graphic Artists Todd Cooper, Barbara Cooper Contributing Photographers Kurt Jensen, Paul Neevel ADVERTISING National Sales Manager Mark Frisbee Display Marketing Consultant Jennifer Donohue, Rob Weiss Advertising Traffic Coordinator Geneva Miller Classified Manager Jeffrey Stout Classified Marketing Consultant Nate Krusi BUSINESS Director of Sales and Marketing Bill Shreve Circulation Manager Danica Stiles Controller Paula Hoemann Distributors Bob Becker, Kevin Greene, Seth Lawson, Susan and David Lawson, Benjamin Newman, Tim Risch, Quick Draw, Pedalers Express Printing Signature Graphics HOW TO REACH US BY E-MAIL: (letters): editor@eugeneweekly.com (advertising): ads@eugeneweekly.com (classifieds): classy@eugeneweekly.com (personals): personals@eugeneweekly.com (calendar): cal@eugeneweekly.com (music/clubs/special shows): music@eugeneweekly.com (art/openings/galleries): visualarts@eugeneweekly.com (performance/theater): performance@eugeneweekly.com (literary arts/readings): books@eugeneweekly.com (movies/film screenings): movies@eugeneweekly.com (circulation): distribution@eugeneweekly.com Eugene Weekly • 1251 Lincoln Street • Eugene, OR 97401 • 541.484.0519 • fax 541-484-4044 JULY 20, 2006 7
