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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (July 28, 2005)
BY ROB BREZSNY dreaming of frogs, worms, and potted plants? Researchers have found that pregnant women have an inordinate number of encounters with those three things during their sleep- time adventures. And while you may not technically be car- rying a developing baby inside you, you are at least gestat- ing a brainchild. Like a woman who will give birth in the not- too-distant future, you’re both delicate and strong, a bit lumbering but radiantly graceful, sometimes out of sorts but often wiser than you’ve ever been. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): As deputy influences from group to group and connects people who should be allies. In addition, I’d like you to imagine you’re cooking up metaphorical versions of chocolate mousse and apple pie. In other words, make it your goal to generate delicious effects that are both gourmet and down to earth. You might also want to be like another pollinator, bats. They ensure the fruitfulness of agave plants and hence are responsible for tequila. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Pioneer car- toonist Walt Disney had no doubts about what inspired his greatest ardor. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I’ve ever known,” he said. My sculptor friend Rachel has a similar relationship with her art. “I don’t have time for boyfriends,” she told me. “Men just distract me from my work, which is the only thing that gives me unconditional joy.” I suggest that in the coming weeks you make Walt and Rachel your role models, Scorpio. What form of creative self- expression inspires as much of your passion as your drive for romantic intimacy? Feed it with the same fervor you summon when you’re infatuated with a new lover. Massage HEAVENLY TOUCH Massage. Special intro. price. Strong and intuitive. Diane #9736 on call 12/7, with 1-2 hour notice, 461-5950. FRIDAY MASSAGE SPECIAL $35 for one hour $50 for 1 1/2 hours Swedish, Deep Tissue, Relaxation Jesse, 687-4879. LMT# 10398 Center for Integrative Massage THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE with Talicia, of Harmony Massage. We bill insurance! Now accepting Pacific Source, ODS, OEA, HealthNet and auto accident insurance. Downtown Eugene. 741-7240 or 337-0563. LMT#8193. defense secretary, Paul Wolfowitz was a key part of the team that planned America’s invasion of Iraq in 2003. These days he’s got a new gig, president of the World Bank, and prefers not to be distracted by the Downing Street memo and other ever-growing evidence that the war was built on faulty and deceitful assumptions. “There will be a time and place to talk about history,” he has said, “but I really don’t believe it’s now.” Wolfowitz should be your anti-role model in the coming week, Taurus. This is the time and this is the place for you to talk and think about your own personal history in exhaustive detail. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Pregnancy Support GEMINI (May 21-June 20): According to author Truman Capote, “It’s a scientific fact that if you stay in California, you lose one point of IQ for every year.” I hope he was wrong, since it would mean my IQ has already declined 28 points since I moved to the West Coast in 1977. But even if his theory is correct, and you’re a Gemini who lives in California, you’ll be able to recover some of your lost intelligence in the coming weeks. That’s because the current astrological configurations virtually guarantee that you’ll be getting smarter, and probably wiser as well. As for you Twins living outside of California, you can expect to soar as close to the genius level as you ever have. A few weeks ago I went to the Warped Tour, an outdoor music festival featuring 80 rock and punk bands on ten dif- ferent stages. Pummeled nonstop in mosh pits full of flailing dancers in the 100-degree heat, basking in the blasts of gui- tars, drums, and vocals roaring at jet-engine volumes, show- ered by saliva and sweat from the frenzied musicians, I had a religious experience. On the one hand, unbridled chaos seemed to be raging all around me. On the other hand, I felt perfectly safe and thoroughly entertained. I was also serenely amused by the knowledge that everyone was there primarily to play and have fun. That’s what I wish for you in the coming days, Sagittarius: a knack for putting yourself in the enjoyable eye of the human hurricane. ALPINE HOMEBIRTH LLC Jane Poznar CPM, LDEM. Complete in-home family centered midwifery care. 541-424-2271. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Emily CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Dickinson had a boundless imagination and an intense crav- ing for privacy. She wrote nearly 1,800 poems, but kept them to herself, stashing most of them in a trunk belonging to her maid. Only seven of them were published while she was alive. Why did she hide the brilliant and prolific outpour- ing of her soul? No one really knows. Let’s make sure you don’t follow her example, Cancerian. In my astrological opin- ion, it’s high time for you to begin revealing at least some of the incredible beauty that you conceal from the world. When you look back at this period of your life 40 years from now, maybe you’ll say, “That was the turning point, when I stopped being such a closely guarded secret.” There are at least 20 different kinds of kisses, and the ancient Indian book Kama Sutra describes 10 of them. Loving gazes and caresses come in an almost infinite vari- ety, and the 2,600-year-old book identifies a few of each. As for sexual positions, the Kama Sutra provides insight into how to perform 84. In the coming weeks, I suggest you explore the Kama Sutra or a text like it, Capricorn, because your astrological assignment is to be ingenious and experi- mental as you push past the frontiers of your sexual wis- dom. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “The fact that some genius- AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My brother Tom is a real estate agent. Lately he’s been noticing that a lot of people are suffering from what he calls IDD — Intention Deficit Disorder. They act as if they really want to buy or sell a house, but then never get past the first few fledgling steps toward that end. Their good intentions get derailed by modest challenges. I want to make sure that you Aquarians don’t develop a case of IDD in the coming weeks. The astrological omens suggest that you could fall prey to wandering around aimlessly unless you add a large dose of steel to your will. es were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses,” wrote Carl Sagan. “They laughed at Columbus and they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” I bring this to your atten- tion, Leo, because your bright ideas may be met with skepti- cal amusement in the coming week. Is that because they’re in the Wright brothers’ category or more like Bozo’s? I sus- pect they’ll actually be a mix of both — half-ingenious and half-cracked. Your job is to be ruthlessly honest as you fig- ure out which are which. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the 19th cen- VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Last June in Ethiopia, seven men kidnapped a 12-year-old girl and held her in a remote wilderness for seven days. Then a miracle occurred. Three lions sprang out of nowhere and chased the abductors away. They protected the girl until a search team arrived, then slipped away. “The lions stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest,” said one of the rescuers. I’ve told you this story, Virgo, because I believe it has metaphorical resemblances to an adventure you’re in the middle of. tury, ketchup was sold as a medicine. Physicians prescribed “Dr. Miles Compound Extract of Tomato” and similar potions to cure a variety of maladies, including liver disease, bald- ness, athlete’s foot, and depression. In this wacky tradition, I’m recommending that you eat lots of ketchup to cure what ails you. There’s actually nothing wrong with you at all, of course. But you have been feeding a tiny delusion with so much worried attention that it has bloomed into a big bad hallucination. One of the best medicines might be ketchup, whose healing power is as imaginary as your fake problem, and which is therefore a likely cure for it. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There would be no HOMEWORK: Compose a love apples if it weren’t for the bees that pollinate apple blos- soms. Likewise, chocolate wouldn’t exist without the flies that pollinate the flowers of the cacao tree. In the coming week, Libra, I encourage you to imagine you’re analogous to those bees and flies — a social pollinator who spreads good spell to get the exact kind of intimate connection you want — but without messing with anyone’s free will. Tell me about it at www.freewillastrology.com You can call for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: 1-900-950-7700 Intuitive Arts • $1.99 per minute. Touchtone phone 18 & over c/s 612-373-9785 40 JULY 28, 2005 WOMEN’S SPECIAL, 1 hour massage, your home, $55! Firm Swedish; acupressure; back therapy. Cindy M. #1617, 345-4123. RELAXING MASSAGE with Lisa Haber at Soterion, a place of natural healing, 1661 High St. Call 968-2521 or 683-7000. LMT#5066. Workshops TAI CHI with Sana Shanti. In Eugene July 31st, 6-9pm. Aug. 12th-14th. Relaxation, prin- ciples, structure and partner work. Contact Maureen, 484-7332, Jeanette, 915-3583. VIPASSANA MEDITATION as taught by S.N. Goenka 10 day course Sept 14-25. Rural retreat near S. OR. Heated cabins, veg. meals. Register www.kunja.dhamma.org 360-978-5434. Local, Julie 488-9474. Courses run solely through donations from old students. Yoga FREE YOGA and meditation classes. Relax body, mind, spirit. Thursdays, 7-8:30pm. 1st United Methodist, 1376 Olive. 686-0506. 2-BDRM, 851 W. 5th. Quiet, clean, private patio. $485/mo + deposits. NP. 729-5827. UNIQUE 1-BDRM+. Great sunroom, laundry hookups, large back yard, pets welcome. 545 Madison. Call for details. $550/mo. 338- 2190. Real Estate ALTERNATIVEREALTOR.COM Eugene’s Alternative Realtors. Free email listings. Toll free, 866-706-3283 or local, 521-DAVE. BANK FORECLOSURES! Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom available! HUD, Repo, REO, etc. These homes must sell! For Listings Call 1-800-820-6515 ext. 3015. 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Recently reno- vated, private entrance, patio, parking. NP, NS. 8th and Van Buren area. Utils. except elec. First, last + dep. 685-9517. ARTISTS COMMUNITY: Private, large studio apartment. Garden and greenhouse. NS. $550/mo + dep, utils. 683-0626. TWO-BDRM upstairs in home. Separate entrance. Very quiet, private, secure. Fully furnished. All utils paid. Easy walk to UO, downtown. $650/mo. 683-1644. “STUDIOS STUDIOS” $430/mo, utilities included. Going fast! 338-2190. Homes for Rent CLEAN ATTRACTIVE 2-bdrm, 2-ba house, W/D, wood heat in Marcola area. Access to river, woods, gardens. $750/mo + first, last, deposits. References. No dogs, cat OK. Avail Aug 1. 933-2568. 3+BDRM HOUSE 664 W. 5th. Has everything: laundry room, fireplace, 2-ba, fenced yard, pets welcome. $895/mo. 338-2190. Shared Housing ONE LARGE room for rent. $375/mo + utils. Spacious house, yard. W/D, easy bike and bus to campus. Vegetarian. NP. 520-6241. SHARE 3-BDRM. SE Eugene off bus line, trails. Wood stove, garden, W/D, NS, NP. $275/mo + last, $100 dep. 431-6658. NICE HOUSE with hardwood floors, back yard, garden. 1st room: $350/mo + utils. Small private bathroom, separate entrance. 2nd room: $300/mo + utils. House furnished, including W/D. Close to bus line, bike path, stores, park. Melissa, 541-344-6892. PEOPLE WHO Care. Private room in fur- nished Ferry St. Bridge house. $450/mo incl cable, utils, laundry, parking. NP, NS. 541- 686-1771, 541-913-6460. BEAUTIFUL 3+BDRM home with large yard, garden space seeks considerate, respectful housemate. $320/mo. 729-6182, 521-9430. LARGE ROOM in spacious house, with wooded yard and garden on quiet street in Ferry St Bridge area. Sunny HW floors, HS Internet, fireplace, W/D. Relaxed, mixed gen- der household. $350/mo +1/4 utils 686-3337. SHARE BEAUTIFUL vegetarian S Eugene home. Private room with own entrance and 1/2-ba. Share kitchen, laundry and shower. $375/mo and 1/3 utils + dep. 683-8271. LARGE ROOM for rent in 2-bdrm, 1.5-ba duplex. W/D, garage, nice neighborhood, on Harlow Rd. Share with massage therapy stu- dent. $350/mo + 1/2 utils. Call 521-6742. SUMMER BURN OUT? Let Jen’s healing hands and soothing Energy help nurture your body and mind. ♥ Jen Murray, Journey to Wellness ♥ GIFT CERTIFICATES AND MASSAGE PACKAGES AVAILABLE. 914-BACK (2225) LMT#5478 ARIES (March 21-April 19): Have you been GET BACK the one you love! Male Witch offering psychic readings and counseling. Casting and removal of spells. Contact with spirits. Call 24/7. Tom, 800-419-3346. Credit, Debit cards. (AAN CAN) P LAY WITH NWAACK’ S RUBBER BALLS SATURDAYS, 2-4PM, SKINNER BUTTE PARK www.myspace.com/nwaack Check us out @ www.eugeneweekly.com Get your LISTINGS out there! P R I C E S S T A R T A T $33 call Danica at 484-0519 E X T E N S I O N 1 0
