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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 11, 2003)
BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Six miles from Maui is a Hawaiian island that tourists never visit — Kahoolawe. The U.S. Navy seized it in 1941 and used it as a target range for decades. After years of protests by Native Hawaiians, the Navy finally stopped bombing and began a clean-up campaign. Last month it formally turned control of the island over to the rightful own- ers. “You can get a feel on Kahoolawe of what it was like to live on Hawaii at the time of our ancestors,” says Native Hawaiian Davianna McGregor. “We can practice our traditions there without it being a tourist attraction. It’s one place we can go to be in commun- ion with our natural life forces.” Every one of us has a personal version of Kahoolawe, Aries: a part of our psyche that has been stolen or colonized by hostile forces. It’s a perfect moment for you to take back yours. Audi 1987 AUDI 5000 S Quatro. Reliable. Good mileage. $700 OBO. 915-3050. 1987 5000S. Runs, needs new front tires. $500 OBO. Ask for Mike, 914-7919. Chevrolet 1997 ASTRO van LT. Loaded. Leather. One owner. Excellent. Low miles. $6,250. 484-0521. 1984 SUBURBAN. 4x4 diesel. Good condition. Can be converted to bio-diesel. $2,500 OBO. 988- 3983. 1969 CHEVY 27 foot bus. 350 V8. 4 bolt main. 6’ 5” interior head room. Runs and drives great. Make offer. Klaus, 689-7178. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Three billion years ago, the Earth’s original single-cell organisms thrived in a carbon dioxide-rich atmosphere. As a byproduct of their metabolism, however, they released an abundant amount of oxygen. It was a pollutant that ultimately made their environment uninhabitable for them, though it prepared the way for the oxygen- breathers that now dominate the planet. Now let’s meditate on how this might be a useful metaphor for you, Taurus. Is there any “pollutant” produced by the person you were in the past that could be valuable for the person you will become in the future? Eagle 1994 TALON 2-door, stick, sporty, reliable, good condition, well maintained, records avail- able, must see!! $2,200/offer, 683-7071. Ford 1994 ESCORT LX, 4-dr, A/C, 5- speed, cassette, original owner, 106k miles, $1,699. Call 607-6659 1990 FORD 150. 5 Liter XLT Lariat. Good work truck. $2,500 OBO. 689-3964. 1980 5.0 Mustang. Recently built engine. Fantastic parts car. $900. 342-2377. 1978 FORD 250. New tires, towing, 351M V8, canopy. $900. 345-7541. Honda 1990 HONDA Accord, 4 door, CD, blue, good condition, $2,350 OBO. 485-8265. 1988 ACCORD LX. 4-dr, 5 speed, A/C, CD, loaded. Runs great and clean! $1,800 firm. Call 736-8058. 1987 CIVIC wagon. Low miles on newer engine. Good working condition. $1,200. 687-5676. Mercedes 1981 300 SD. Turbo diesel. 160k. Must see, drive. Tight engine and trans. Many new parts. Bio-deisel ready. $5,600. 968-7633. VEHICLE ADS ARE FREE! 4 lines, each extra line $2 Add a photo for $5 Call EW Classifieds by Monday, 5pm 484-0519, x10 Nissan 2000 SENTRA GXE. A/C, CD, PW, PL, 5-Speed, driver-passen- ger airbags, runs and drives per- fectly. $8,000. 543-6871. 1983 280ZX. Runs strong and fast but needs work fun project car. $425 OBO. Call Josh for details. 338-7161. Oldsmobile 1969 OLDSToronado. Very nice. Runs great. Need vinyl top. $3,900. 541-935-9707. 1985 VOLVO 245 wagon. Good old Volvo. Never let us down. $1,400. 686-2127. Jaguar 1995 JAGUAR XJ6 (95-2002 body). Excellent throughout. $11,800 offer. 503-394-4250. Motorcycles 1984 HONDA Shadow. VT700. Looks and runs great. $1,000 OBO. 913-9132. 1982 HONDA CB 750. Low miles. Runs great. Must sell. $950 OBO. With 2 new helmets. 302- 5892. Boats 1965 SEA SWIRL with 80 hp outboard. Looks and runs great. $850 OBO. 913-9132. Parts 1970 PONTIAC 455 motor with turbo 400 tran. Both or sepa- rate. Make offer. 913-9132. Volkswagen Charlie's 1993 PASSAT wagon GLX, VR6. Loaded, sun roof. Excellent throughout. $4,300 offer. 541- 990-0255. 1978 CAMPER looks great, low miles on rebuilt engine. Stove, sink, fridge, poptop. $2,800 OBO. Call for details, 517-8842. DOMESTIC, EUROPEAN & ASIAN Volvo 268 1/2 Madison St. • Eugene AUTO SERVICE S HOP 541-687-1199 1985 VOLVO Wagon. Burgundy, 4-speed with overdrive, leather interior, roof rack. Looks and runs great. $1,500. 345-2160. C ELL 541-914-8122 www.charliesautoservice.com Y OU VOLVO EXPERTS Alpine Import Service Exclusively Volvo 12th & Main, Springfield 541.726.1808 OWN A VOLVO FOR VERY , VERY GOOD REASONS. PERFORMANCE AND SAFETY ARE UNSURPASSED. Y OUR VOLVO SHOULD LAST A LIFETIME : • • • • ASE C ERTIFIED , F ACTORY T RAINED B OSCH A PPROVED S ERVICE CENTER C OMPLETE S YSTEM A NALYSIS F REE L OCAL S HUTTLE ! Vehicle ads are FREE! 4 lines, each extra line $2 Add a photo for $5 Call EW Classifieds by Monday, 5pm 484-0519, x10 GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Vanessa Lucero, a 14-year-old New Mexico girl, is your role model this week. In October, she was named home- coming princess at her high school. On the weekend of her reign, she also played in a game for the football team, becoming the first female in school history to score a touchdown. During the span of a few glorious hours, she wore both a helmet and a tiara. Like Vanessa, you Geminis now have the potential to notch triumphs in two separate spheres using different sets of skills. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The world’s most famous Cancer, U.S. President George W. Bush, has described his relationship with newspapers this way: “I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who read the news themselves.” Please don’t imitate Bush’s approach as you gather information in the coming days, my fellow Crabs. It’s crucial that you never rely on third-hand reports as you penetrate to the root of every unfolding plot. You know how journalists sometimes bury really interesting and mysterious details at the end of their stories? That’s what life will do. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): After a study found that a majority of heterosexual men dive into sexual inter- course without any warm-up, Britain launched its first annual National Foreplay Day last July. How about if we borrow this holiday for your use, Leo? I’m not say- ing you’ve been remiss in your approach to maximizing erotic pleasure, but there’s always room for improve- ment. Besides, from an astrological perspective this is a favorable time to expand your mastery of the arts of love. In fact, let’s borrow another British holiday, National Orgasm Day. I hereby proclaim this Universal Foreplay and Orgasm Week for all Leos. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This week’s horoscope features the poetry of U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Delivered at a news brief- ing, it provides a perfect frame for the current state of your fate. “As we know,” he said, “there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” You, Virgo, are very close to discover- ing at least two of your personal unknown unknowns. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): My Libran friend John was constantly harassed and shamed by his father over trivial issues when he was growing up. A typical scenario often occurred in the kitchen as John scanned the refrigerator for an appetizing snack. “You idiot!” his dad would scream at him. “How many mil- lions of times have I told you not to hold the refrigera- tor door open so long?” John would immediately close the door and leave in silence, feeling humiliated and hungry. When he told me this story today, here’s what I advised him to do: Keep his refrigerator door open for as long as it takes to wipe away the pain of his father’s inane cruelty. To the rest of you Libras I say: Rebel in a way that will heal a wound from childhood. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Like every species, harmful microbes evolve over time in response to environmental conditions. Syphilis, for example, was far more lethal and fast-spreading 500 years ago. It killed its human victims relatively quickly, which diminished its ability to proliferate in new hosts. Ultimately, a milder variety developed to ensure the survival of the species. An infected person lived longer and could spread the syphilis strain further. I propose that you adopt this model as a metaphor for dealing with your bad moods, aberrant behavior, and tempo- rary attacks of insanity. Cultivate your relationship with the milder forms of these pathologies, confident that this will make the nastier versions obsolete. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I saw the Acura commercial on TV tonight. The car was driving through a remote high desert. Through the magic of computer graphics, it seemed to be creating the road as it moved, laying down paved blacktop where before there was only dirt. I thought of you immediately, Sagittarius. You’re in a comparable situa- tion, right? There’s no path where you’re going, so you’ll have to make it for yourself as you proceed. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn actress Drea de Matteo’s career is in full bloom. Besides her regular role on HBO’s “The Sopranos,” she has been in nine movies since 2001. To what should we attribute her success? Lots of talent, for one. A playwright mother who exposed her to the theater early, for two. During her recent appearance on Carson Daly’s “Last Call” TV show, she revealed a ballsy magic that constitutes a third ingredient. She told Daly she keeps the testicles of her Great Dane, which she had neutered a few years ago, in a jar of formaldehyde by her bed. Take inspiration from her example, Capricorn. It’s high time you acknowledged the fact that skill and hard work may not be enough to get you where you want to go; you also need mojo. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “So many of us are not in our bodies, really at home and vibrantly present there,” says dancer Gabrielle Roth. “Nor are we in touch with the basic rhythms that con- stitute our bodily life. We live outside ourselves — in our heads, our memories, our longings — absentee landlords of our own estate.” Does any of that descrip- tion fit you, Aquarius? If so, here’s good news: The months ahead will provide you with the best opportuni- ty ever to come home to your body, to inhabit it with robust awareness and gratitude. And it all starts now. To show you’re ready, find a place to be alone in the dark, put on music that moves you, and dance yourself all the way back into your body. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Each week I give my readers homework. A recent assignment was to finish the sentence, “The one thing that keeps me from being myself is __________.” Many respon- dents filled in the blank with “my fears.” Other com- mon answers were “lack of money,” “my spouse,” and “my obsession with everyone’s images of me.” But the best contribution was from Ann-Marie at www.getun- derground.com. She said, “The one thing that keeps me from being myself is people’s reluctance to lick patent leather.” By not taking herself too seriously, she showed that nothing can keep her from being herself. Drawing inspiration from her sterling example, Pisces, finish this sentence in a more humorous way than you normally might: “The one thing that keeps me from being myself is __________.” Homework: Describe the slightly scary adventure you’re going to dare yourself to undertake in 2004. Write www.freewillastrology.com You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785 DECEMBER 11, 2003 37
