TO THE EDITOR
BY TOM LININGER
How the Grinch
Stole Labor Day
The rise and fall of Bill Sizemore.
A
ll the workers in Oregon loved Labor Day a lot
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Salem,
did not.
The Grinch hated unions! He hated Labor Day!
Now please don’t ask why. No one really can say.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be perhaps that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the reason for most of his hate
Was his campaign for governor in 1998
When the Grinch’s backside was left black and blue
By unions like OEA and OPEU.
Whatever the reason, his shoes or his pride,
The unions made the Grinch feel angry inside.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy smirk
At the union employees returning from work,
He growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I must find a way to stop Labor Day from coming!”
He shuddered to think of the Labor Day cheer,
With hot dogs and burgers and cheap domestic beer.
Then the Grinch got an idea. An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
“We’ll see if those workers will still celebrate
When I propose Measures 92 and 98.”
He climbed down their chimneys while they lay a-snooze
And then he slunk off with their union dues.
He took all the dues on his sled to Mt. Crumpit
And rushed to the top, getting ready to dump it,
When off in the distance he heard a faint noise –
He hoped it was crying by worker girls and boys.
The Grinch longed to hear their sobs and boo-hoos
When they learned he’d taken away all their dues.
But this wasn’t a sound of a sorrowful sort.
It seemed more like cheers coming out of a court.
The reason the workers were joyously cheering
Was a $2 million verdict for civil racketeering.
W
hat happened then? Well, in Oregon they say,
That the Grinch’s legal trouble grew three sizes that day.
In August 2003, the Grinch was served
With a personal lawsuit he richly deserved.
The Grinch could not stop Labor Day! It came!
The workers were carrying on just the same.
On Monday they celebrated instead of working
While the Grinch in his cave was sullenly lurking,
Holding his hands over both of his ears,
And he … HE HIMSELF! … drank cheap domestic beers.
Tom Lininger is a UO law professor and former county commissioner.
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6 AUGUST 28, 2003
ronment that they support are gone, no one
will be able to put them back. Not in our life-
time, if ever.
Susan Stricker
Eugene
CONAN THE GOVERNOR
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s candidacy for
the governorship of the state of California is
both ridiculous and an extremely dangerous
precedent. In March, the Terminator went to
Washington for a personal meeting with Karl
Rove. It was said “politics was not discussed.”
Later, when this recall nonsense began in
earnest, Rove was asked his opinion of a pos-
sible Schwarzenegger candidacy for governor.
He said, “It would be very, very nice.”
Arnie has worked hard over the last 10
years to style himself a “conservative,” while
projecting his usual attitude of powerful arro-
gance. He obviously reads the script from
Washington, since he has no real experience
in any kind of government service. Conan the
Barbarian doesn’t count, I’m afraid.
California has the fifth largest economy in
the world, even in the shaky condition that
it’s in. The neocons in the Executive Branch
and the corporations they service will use
Schwarzenegger as a puppet politico to loot
the rest of California’s economy in the same
fashion that Enron looted the power generat-
ing business there. The people will cheer him
on at first. Then, when the state economy
goes totally in the dumper, the neocons will
drop him like a hot rock. The empire has no
friends, only future victims. If California’s
economy melts down, what do you think will
happen to Oregon’s? It will be the same thing
that’s happened to every other area of the
country that’s been looted by our Corporatist
government — real crummy jobs with long
hours at low wages — if we’re lucky. Quality
of life? Hasta la vista, baby!
Michael Anderson
Eugene
GOOD GAS, BAD GAS
I just returned from a business trip to
California. When I crossed the border from
Brookings to California, the price of gas
jumped nearly 30 cents per gallon. And, of
course, I had to pump my own gas. I found
gas prices in San Francisco to be hovering at
$2 per gallon. And I had to pump my own
gas. On the return trip along I-5, the gas
prices dropped 25 cents per gallon from
California to Oregon. And I did not have to
pump gas!
Anyone still think that gas would be
cheaper if we had to pump it ourselves?
Anyone think the gas stations would not ab-
sorb the profit and leave us pumping our own
gas at higher prices? You do? Then move to
California!
Pete Giberson
Eugene
A CLOSER READ
The Lane County Bill of Rights Defense
Committee honors and takes seriously
Thomas Jefferson’s profound observation
that “the price of Freedom is eternal vigi-
lance.” Have you actually read the text of the
USA PATRIOT Act (UPA)? If you have you
will know why Hawaii, Alaska and Vermont
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