TO THE EDITOR
BY TOM LININGER
Changing Lanes
Should Lane County find a new namesake?
E
ver wonder why the residents of this county spend so much time cele-
brating heroes like Wayne Morse and Martin Luther King Jr., without
ever mentioning the man after whom our coun-
ty was named? It turns out that Joseph Lane was a
poor choice for a namesake. In the antebellum
period, he was an ardent defender of slavery. In
1860, he ran for vice president of the U.S., losing
to the ticket headed by Abraham Lincoln. So it’s
true: Our county is named after a bigoted loser.
Joseph Lane was the antithesis of the ideals that
our county now stands for. Luke Skywalker had
more in common with his dad, Darth Vader, than Lane
County has in common with its founding father.
It was only a matter of time before someone in Lane County asked the
Board of County Commissioners to find a new namesake. At our board meet-
ing last week, we considered a letter from Peter Roberts, who suggested that
the board should name our county after a different person with the surname
“Lane,” so we could disassociate our county from Joseph Lane’s sordid histo-
ry without causing too many administrative headaches. Mr. Roberts cited the
example of King County, Washington, which discarded its old namesake
William Rufus DeVane King (dubbed “a gentle slave monger” by John Quincy
Adams) in favor of Martin Luther King Jr.
At our Board meeting last week, a few commissioners expressed support
for dropping Joseph Lane as the county’s namesake. Bobby Green, who
recently championed the effort to name a street after Martin Luther King Jr.,
made us laugh when he said he’d probably sit this one out, because he’s had
his share of naming controversies for the year.
The trick is to find another namesake with the surname “Lane.” Mr.
Roberts suggested Franklin Knight Lane, who lived from 1864-1921 and helped
to establish the National Park Service. One big drawback: He was a
Californian. That might be a tough sell with my colleague Bill Dwyer, who has
protested the “Californication” of Oregon.
I did some research of my own, and I came up with 11 other candidates
named “Lane.”
1) Nathan Lane. He’s an actor whose résumé includes the roles of Timon
the Meerkat in The Lion King, and the role of “Mysterious Disco Man” in the
latest Austin Powers film
2) Diane Lane. She portrayed an adulterous wife in Unfaithful, and she
played a cop/judge/executioner alongside Sylvester Stallone in Judge Dredd.
Infidelity and summary executions — now there are some marketing themes
that CVALCO can work with!
3) Jennifer Lane. She’s a rhythm and blues singer. Her songs include this
hit: Ben is the Man (Doin’ our Septic Tank).
4) Charles Lane. He played a tight-fisted business manager on I Love
Lucy. Maybe his selection as our namesake might restore the voters’ confi-
dence in our county’s frugality, so we could finally pass a ballot measure
around here.
5) Roumelia Lane. She writes Harlequin Romance novels such as
Tempest in the Tropics and Night of the Beguine. We’d pick up some tourist
business if she would set one of her novels in Lane County (The Covered
Bridges of Passion? The Tree-Sitter’s Wife?).
6) Lane Shetterly. We need at least one Oregonian on the list! He’s a
state representative from Polk County — a nice, smart guy. The only problem
is that he’s a political moderate, and there’s nothing moderate about Lane
County.
7) The other Joseph Lane. Besides our current namesake, the most fa-
mous Joseph Lane in history is the self-described “anarchist communist” who
lived in England during the 1800s and wrote An Anti-Statist Communist
Manifesto. The national press would have a field day if we picked this guy.
8) Carpool Lane. Who says our county has to be named after a human
being? This choice would celebrate our conservationist values.
9) Penny Lane. This classic Beatles song features the following four words
back-to-back: “pouring rain/very strange.” If that’s not Lane County, I don’t
know what is.
10) Lois Lane. In later versions of the Superman saga, Clark’s journalist
girlfriend was a tough crime-fighter rather than a damsel in distress. Picking
Lois could draw attention to the fact that Lane County boasts one of the best
journalism schools in the U.S.
11) Memory Lane. There’s no better choice for a county where half the pop-
ulation thinks that the 1960s never ended.
Tom Lininger is the county commissioner for the East Lane District.
6 JULY 31, 2003
the events to date: The War on Freedom, by
British scholar Nafeez Ahmed. If Americans
only read chapter 5, “The Collapse of
Standard Operating Procedures on 9-11”,
they would be shocked. For example,
October 1999: Pro golfer Payne Stewart’s
chartered Learjet lost radio contact with the
FAA and deviated from its flight path. Within
21 minutes his jet had an escort of two F-16s
ready and able to destroy the plane. On
9/11/2001, 25 minutes before the first tower
was struck, the FAA, NORAD, and military
were aware that the first two jumbo jets had
been hijacked simultaneously, but did NOT
scramble fighters for 80 minutes, and then
only after the Pentagon strike. Fearless
grade-schoolers will be asking why not.
Last week’s news: The White House is
stalling the independent investigation into
9/11. Again, grade-schoolers will be asking
why. While the world is demanding answers
from George II for those 16 nasty words that
shouldn’t have been in a speech, I want him to
explain those 80 tortuous minutes when our
military machine was made to “stand down”
and not follow standard operating procedures.
God forbid, American citizens should ask
protection from the multi-trillion dollar mili-
tary monster the U.S. has built. If you doubt,
just put down your flag, pick up the book and
prepare for the ride.
Ron Roggensack
Cottage Grove
Tony would have been a great commissioner,
I also know that many people in my district
are glad Tony will continue to represent Lane
County in the Legislature.
Tony has been a champion for programs
that prevent child abuse, particularly the
South Lane Family Relief Nursery, which
could not have withstood its financial diffi-
culties a few years ago without Tony’s help.
There are probably hundreds of high-risk
families in rural Lane County who are free of
abuse due to Tony’s leadership.
On the issue of school funding, Tony has
been a great advocate. Throughout his five
sessions in the House and Senate, he has al-
ways insisted on stable and adequate funding
for public schools, while other legislators
were acquiescing in drastic cuts.
Tax fairness is another issue that has been
high on Tony’s agenda. If you ask Bill
Sizemore which legislator has caused him the
most grief, he’d probably say Tony Corcoran.
Tony understands that our tax system should
distribute the burden fairly across all eco-
nomic groups, and that we need to correct
some of the inequity in our present system.
The 2003 session has posed some difficult
challenges for our Legislature, and I don’t
think these challenges will go away in the fu-
ture. I’m glad that Tony will continue to rep-
resent Lane County in Salem during these
challenging times.
Tom Lininger
East Lane County Commissioner
THANKS TO TONY
State Sen. Tony Corcoran recently an-
nounced that he will remain in the Legislature
and will not seek appointment to the Board of
County Commissioners. While I believe that
FALSE SECURITY
Nine months ago, I was talking to my son
and told him he could have a bike if he could
get some kind of insurance on it. He agreed
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