Dayton tribune., August 21, 1914, Image 5

POULTRY —■■i™.......
and Dairy Produce
I I
>1 all bind« wsniel. Writ« far our
C 71 SH OFFER
-
PearHon-PaKeCo. H’KEioS®
SECOND-HAND MACHINERY
Fought, »«»H and »««hanani: »naIn*«. Loli«rc
»»* hiHU, tic. H*nd i* r Stark I .IM zim I Pr©*«.
I HE J. E. M AKTIN CO.. M Ut M.. Portland. Or.
OPPORTUNITY IS HERE
TO LEARN CHIROPRACTIC, ùulw «o
fo* LU«.»* tO^., 411 IMMM....I* M. faiUM O hl
The Erudite Druggist.
"Why wuh Holomon coneldereA bo
wise?”
“Well, tin learned the drug busfncB*
when he wuh young. After that ho
could »newer any queetlon pro­
pounded."
Old Habite.
“I think our new butler muet have
been a baseball umpire once."
"Why bo ?"
“He's duutlng oft the pinto with a
whlekhroon."
Now Suffrage Has Come.
lawyer (In equal euffrago *tnte) —
Don’t worry, the Jury la eure to dlB-
agree.
Prieoner But are yon certain?
Lawyer It e Inevitable; two of the
juror* are man and wife!—Puck.
Up a Tree.
Mr* Bird (late from suffrage meet­
ing) My! I hope I can get In without
waking hubby!
Mr. Hird (late from the club)—Gee!
I hope I can get In without waking
wifey,—Chicago News.
KAMU» BOML*4, IM OU*.» in, Kra. «Jr». *. X
Df À TV tosses tumv ptevwnD
111 Al K
€•«•*'• 11 I aah I«» PHI»
Low-
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fr*ah. r*ll*t4a. jiW
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a
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talar*
ia »•*• »k»»
80 1— *h»e
*41 ar
va**l«M
fall.
Bia*hia» run |i ao
Bl aedi e» Pilli 4M
a HP InJiwfnr. Hi« ('uttar'» heat.
TH! CUTTtR
LABORAfORY. BsrUln. C.lUw.lA
What He Weighed.
Pat—How much do yez weigh,
Mike?
«
Miks—Ol weigh 175 pound*.
Pat You must a' got weighed with
your coat on.
Miko—An' Ol did not. Ol held it in
mo arma all the time.—Magazine of
Eun.
WITH BOGUS PISTOLS
INSTANCES OF THIEVES HAVING
BEEN SCARED OFF.
Trick Is an Old On«, But Seldom
Faile of Success—Prank of New
York High School Boy* That
Looked Serious.
Recently Solomon Berman of Man­
hattan scared into flight two thieves
who entered his store by pointing hla
Index finger at them and fooling them
Into Buppoaing that he had a revolver.
It is an old trick and yet it succeeds,
just as the confidence man can al­
ways aell a gold brick to a farmer
who never heard of Hungry Joe.
A short time ago river thieves
boarded a tug moored along the Hud­
son and attempted to enter the cap­
tain's cabin and secure money and
valuables from a small Rafe he had
there The engineer of the little boat
heard the thieves, and creeping up
out of the engine room called: "Halt!
Who’s that? Halt, or 1'11 fire!” At
the same time he ran around the side
of the cabin with a dipper handle.
Not until the thieves got ashore did
it seem to occur to them that there
couldn't have been a pistol in their
disturber's hand or he would have
fired. When It camo to mind they re-
treated to a safe distance, and then
shaking their flats at the grinning en­
gineer cursed him profusely.
Over near Hunt's Point a few
month* ago they had an amusing case
of cross "pistol" purposes. Several
dwellings had been robbed and every­
body In the vicinity became suspicious
of the slightest unusual movement
after dark. Two high school boys
planned a masked holdup of a citizen
after dark They held him up all right,
both presenting proper looking pis­
tols with shining barrels. After the
citizen handed out all of his valuables
and whined abjectly that he had
nothing more the boy* revealed them-
selves.
In a great rage the citizen then blew
a police whistle and a mounted offi­
cer galloped up. The boys protested
they hud only joked with a neighbor.
The citizen declared they should be
punished. The officer was willing to
look lightly on the affair until It was
pointed out that pistols had been
brandished.
This made the matter serious. The
officer arrested the boys and took
from them the weapons that might
bring them a term of years in prison,
so heavy Is the New York penalty.
But when the pistols were exposed
the whole matter was dropped. The
pistols were first rate imitations of
the real thing, only tn this case they
could explode nothing more dead­
ly than a cap.—New York Herald.
Costly Clothes.
Too Much Publicity.
“I disapprove of the senate
secret session*. I favor the
publicity for everythin;-. “
"I did; but since the new
came out, I think the women
ing a bit too far.”
Members of the Chicago Dressmak­
having ers' club say that a few women In Chi­
utmost cago spend |75,000 each on clothes;
100 social leaders spend |50,000 each;
gowns 10,000 others get along on (5.000; well
are go­ dressed clubwomen manage to worry
along on (1,500 aplecs; but the mod­
est suffragists and church workers,
To Get Even.
who (though few- of us have probably
Gibbs—Have you decided where you
noticed it) must dress about alike,
will go this summer?
Dibbs—No; my wife always waits spend the same amount, namely (500.
until some neighbor with a grudge Having various causes much at heart,
against us recommends the worst spot they have other uses for their money
oa the continent.
than displaying It on their backs. The
social workers are. very properly,
India's financial difficulties have more modest still, spending only (300.
cause»! serious embarrassment to the The stenographers, shopgirls and fac­
pearl market.
tory girls spend, respectively, (275,
L obs quicksilver was produced in (250 and (200. As the wages of these
the United States last year than in girls cannot average above (15, (10
and (8. respectively, it will be seen
any year since 1860.
that they spend too much on their
clothes, and yet they could hardly
present a decent appearance on less.
They lose something by not making
their own clothes, but they must be
very strong to sew much after finish­
ing their day’s work.—Leslie's Week­
ly.
Takes “Grit” to Win
This really means
keeping the system full
of vim and vigor, the
blood pure and the
general health good,
all of which must come
from perfectly digested
food, and liver and
bowel regularity. This
is an especially good
reason why you should
try
HOSTETTER'S
Stomach Bitters
P. N. U.
No. 34, 1914
IVHEN writing to advtrtisera, please men­
tion thia paper.
When Poisoned by Ivy.
After exposure to poison ivy, the 11)
effects can often be warded off by
prompt removal of the irritating sub-
stance. Vigorous washing with soap
and water, preferably using a hand
brush, and after that with alcohol,
will do this. This often prevents the
111 effects, and often when the char
acterlsttc Inflammation has become
manifest It can be reduced to slight
intensity by the same measure. This
cannot be done, however, after the ir
citation has become Intense; vigorous
washings are impossible and alcohol
painful. Witch hazel water, followed
by application of dusting powder, is
comforting. Salves are not well borne
aa a rule, and if the poisoning hat
reached a stage not controlled by
these treatments, it is best to have
professional treatment, as few, If any.
of the Innumerable domestic remedies
prove to be entitled to reliance.
Send Coupon to Wade
For Free Blue Prints
On That New%Barn!!
Great, aren t they boy? Wade is doing a lot for us when
he furnishes these free blu» -Prints, mad* up just special for
the size barn we figure on building.
It shows uh how
PORTER’S PERFECT
Barn Equipment
WRITE FOR THESE FREE BLUE-PRINTS TODAY!
n)!
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JRF
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F H E E
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’ Sand m* Porter FREE Bam
* Equipment Catalogua.
THE PROGRESSIVE BUSINESS COLLEGE
PORTLAND, OREGON.
There in a completeness and finish about our students’ education that is bringing
praise from many of the leading business men of the Northwest The supreme
tost of a business college is to satisfy the hard-headed men of the business world.
Wc do. Write for literature which will truthfully tell you all you want to know.
All students ms1-1« application before Sept. 6. will «et the advantage ut the *£ per month
rate. Bright and <. U ent s-udre ^a complete our course in three months.
How It Worked.
Northern Illiteracy.
"Did you ever try to open one of
thoHe railroad car windows?” asked
the Paterson man.
“Oh, yes." replied the Passaic man.
"Well, how did you make out?"
"Well, 1 took one of tin ■ axt ■ from
the glass care, you know?”
"Yea, and you broke the window
open?”
"No, but I broke the ax, all right.”
—Yonkers Statesman.
Unless we can find some means of
stimulating the campaign against il­
literacy it is merely a matter of time
when the position* of the north and
the south will change places with re­
gard to that question. The manager
of the industrial league, with head­
quarters in New York, announces that
the percentage of adult illiterates in
that state has not decreased in the
last 20 years. The state has stood
still more persistently than any other
In the union in this respect. Connec­
ticut and New Jersey follow closely
upon its record. According to the
league’s bulletin, “the south is far
outstripping the north in its efforts
to deal with the problem of illiteracy.”
While the percentage Is still greater,
it is being cut down from a quarter
to a half every decade. The south's
population is more homogeneous and
more responsive at least to primary
educational influences.—Boston Tran­
script
I
Known of Old.
"Ambassador Thomas Nelson Page,
like most married novelists, treat*
married life in his books from the in­
side, as it were,” a Washington wo­
man said on her return from Rome.
“At a tea at the Excelsior. Mr. and
Mrs. Page had a ludicrous argument
over something or other; and, when
their misunderstanding was satisfae-
i torily cleared up. Page said:
” ’This seems like a chapter that han
slipped out of a novel, doesn't it?"
‘It seems,’ Mrs. Page retorted,
‘more like a chapter that will slip
into one.’”—Louisville Courier-Jour­
nal.
SUCCESS-
'
Depends Upon Your Training
Our courses in Shorthand. Pen­
Sunlight Intensified
manship, Business Training and
Ry Reflection from Ocean Bear h and
Teleirraphy will equip you for a
De ert Sand unrelieved by Foliage. Winds
successful business career.
and Mineral Laden, PomonoM Dust, all
FALL TERM SEPTEMBER 7.
bring Eye Iron Idea in their wake—Granu­
lated Eyelids, Red, Itching, Burning, Tired
and Watery Eyes, Impaired Vision and
Ete Pain. Reliable Relief is found in
Murine Eye Remedy, Mild and Harmless.
If y ou Wear Glm cs, Try Murine. Doesn’t
BUSINESS COLLEGE.
Smart. Feels Fine. Acts Quickly. Is an
Fourth Street, Near .^'o.Tison, Portland, Or.
Eve Tonic compounded by < leulists—not a
Patent Medicine”—but used in successful
We Guarantee Positions for All
Physician*’ Practice for many years. Now
dedicated to the Public and sold at
Our Graduates.
The age of sex equality may be here,
50c Par Bottle. Murine Eye Salve in
but
the
wives
frequently
decline
to
Write
Us,
No Trouble to Answer.
Aseptic Tulie«, 25c and 50c. Fold by
Druggists. For Books, write to Murine support their husbands. ■
V
Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago.
Fatal Disease.
A young painter who had just fin­
ished a picture insisted upon a friend
calling to see it.
“There, now,” enthused the artist,
“you see my new picture. What's
the matter with that?”
“I don’t know,” replied the bored
friend, “but I should say it was a case
of art failure.”—National Monthly.
DON’T ITCH! USE RESINOL
DIMES BUSINESS COLLEGE
The school that sreta you a
good position.
Thousands of Graduates
NONE IDLE
FREB INFORMATION
« ..hinnon^lJlh St..
PORTLAND. ORE.
I 1 ■
I OLDEST
I
I IfiUUt KI
We all would love the plasterer,
Who makes the walls so slick,
If he were not so much inclined
To lay it on so thick.
Obliging Disposition.
I “Are there any bears in these
। woods?”
"Not yet,” replied the resident “But
we’re going to do our best. The next
time a circus comes through here we
are going to take up a subscription
and buy a bear or two just to satisfy
। the summer boarders.”
YOUR OWN DRl'GGIST WILL TELL TOO
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red. Weak. Watery
Eyes and Granulated Eyelids; No Smarting—
just.Eye Comfort. Write for Book of the Eye
by mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
Just put on a little of that soothing,
antiseptic reslnol ointment and the
The big game season is on. T. R.
Itching and burning stop at once. Soon
In nil the European countries ex­
all trace of eczema, prickly heat, poi­ > is after the tammany tiger and the cept Russia the sugar beet production
son-ivy, poison oak, or other torment­ g. o. p. elephant and the government last year was one of the greatest on
ing skin trouble is gone. Fine for is after the loan sharks.
record.
baby’s skin. Every druggist sells res-
inol ointment and reslnol soap. Pre­
scribed by doctors for 19 years.—Adv.
The Proverb Trite.
"Man is a worm,” the preacher saith,
A b often we have heard.
Ah, yes! and he might also add,
"Woman’s the early bird."
—New York Sun.
"Man is a worm.” he speaketh true.
He gets it from the Book,
And that Is why poor mortal man
So often gets the hook!
IF YOU’RE GROUCHY
It is likely that your liver needs stir­
ring up. Wright's Indian Vegetable
Pills will set you right quickly. Adv.
Grave Danger if
Blood is Disordered
Little Causes Develop Worst Kind of Trouble—No
Danger if Blood is Fortified.
I love the soda fountain boy.
With his cut glass that clinks.
But I would love him better if
He didn’t mix my drinks.
Many of the forest fires attributed
to railroads are caused not by sparks
from locomotives, but by cigar and
cigarette butts thrown from smoking
car windows.
The Blood if Purified With S. S. S. Will Resist All Germ Infection.
There are ao many reasons why everyone
Bhould look to the blood for health that the
action of 8. 8. 8. as a purltier and preserver
Is of paramount Importance. We need so
much food, so much oxygen, so much water,
nil of which in right proportion maintain
nutrition.
Hut the liver, kidneys, lungs,
and bowels must all work in co-opera­
Putnam Fadeless Dyes are the »kin
tive harmony to convert the Intake and
brightest and fastest.
expel It after it has served Its purpose of
regenerating the tissues and cells of the
body. And this process is repented every
A Maine town has built a concrete few seconds throughout life. Now. aa It
Playing Even.
watering trough for horses that is happens with most people, the body docs
expel all the waste and It remains a
“Why do you insist that Robinson la flanked by high walls to shield ani­ not
destructive Influence to produce catarrh,
mals
using
it
from
sun,
wind
and
rheumatism, bolls, eruptions nnd n myriad
a provident man?”
of troubles recognized as the result of
"At dinner this evening I saw him storm.
poisoned blood.
Remarkable testimonials have been writ­
give the waiter ono of the asparagus
Well-known sayings of unknown ten thai pro, e beyond question there Is no
tips.’’—Puck.
men: “Them kind lias came to stay.” blood disease but what cun be cured by
An express train traveling from
Nice to Macon, France, was beaten
by 12 minutes by an eagle, which
raced it for 18 miles.
8. 8. R. And In all those eases that wer«
treated with mercury, iodides, arsenic, cop­
per and other mineials with no permanent
effect, the most astonishing recoveriea haw
been made bv S. S. 8.
There is not a blood taint of any nature
that can remain In a system fortified by
this most wonderful remedy, for it is abso­
lutely pure and contains only those ele­
ments that the blood naturally assimilates^
and which the tissues gratefully accept.
It agrees with the most delicate stomach,
even in those cases where the use of strong
drugs has so weakened the digestive system
that medlcilne can not be given.
Get a
$1.00 bottle of 8. 8. 8. at any drug stora
and thus be assured of a complete cure of
nny eruptive blood disease.
If your casa
is peculiar and you desire special advice
write to the Swift Specific €o., Medical
Dept., Swift Elfj, AC-uta, G:u