Street roots., July 20, 2018, Page 10, Image 10

Street Roots • July 20-26, 2018
DOWD, from page 10
homeless, millionaire, non-millionaire. If you
treat them with human dignity and you treat
them like they’re of equal value to you —
which they are — they tend to respond well.
I had a librarian say, “I can’t believe I flew
you out to tell my staff how to be nice to
homeless people, but I guess I had to.” It’s
more nuanced than just how to be nice, but
the essence of what I teach is, if you treat
people with human dignity, more often than
not they will follow your rules and not cause
trouble. It’s a pretty simple message but it
takes me three hours to say it, or 250 pages
of a book.
practicing the side of the aggressor. A t least in
my opinion.
R.D.: There’s nothing inherently wrong in
being the one with power. It’s how you use
it. Somebody is going to have more power in
any interaction. But if you abuse that power,
that’s a problem. If you use your power to
crush poor people, when you use your
power to kick poor people, kick homeless
people out of libraries, that’s not an ethical
use of power.
T.: Have you studied martial arts? Some of
the phrases in your book reminded me of Sun
Tzu and the philosophies espoused in “The Art
of War. ” “When you have power, appear weak,
and when you are weak, appear to have
power.”I believe that directly speaks to the
ethics of “I ’m the authority here. I ’m the one
with power. How do I show this person
humanity without being threatening?”
T.: You said homeless people are just like
other people.
........
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Armed Forces
experiencing
or at risk of
and are
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acknowledges the enormous disadvantages
that people are a t When we discount the
enormous disadvantages that other people
might be at, whatever those disadvantages
might be - race, gender - when we discount
those disadvantages, when we say everybody
is the same, we empower blaming the
victim.
T.: You mentioned a couple specific
characteristics of vocalization during
emotional moments or arguments. And that
was one of the things I thought was really
curious.
R.D.: Poverty is inherently loud. I was in
our shelter just last
night and it’s freaking
R.D.: In almost
loud,-because it’s a lot
every way, people
It's actually dangerous^ the
of people jampacked
experiencing
Idea that everyone Is exactly
into a tiny room. If
homelessness are
you want to be heard
the
same«
It
completely
identical to everyone
you have to be loud.
glosses ewer the massive
else. But there are
The research
some differences, but disadvantages aad massive
suggests, if you’re
those differences
lajastlees that h a w bee®
bom into poverty, you
come out of injustice. perpetuated against people«
tend to talk louder.
It’s actually
It’s not wrong; it’s
dangerous, the idea
justdifferent. And it
that everyone is
scares the hell out of
exactly the same. It
middle-class people who were born in the
completely glosses over the massive
suburbs where you don’t have to talk loud
disadvantages and massive injustices that
and they’re not used to volume. Now not
have been perpetuated against people. If I
every homeless person talks loud, not every
say everybody is exactly the same, what it -
person born into poverty talks loud, but
means basically is you and I had the exact
many do. There’s nothing wrong with being
same opportunities in life and you screwed
loud; there’s nothing wrong with being
it up and I didn’t. And it completely glosses
quiet. The problem ayiseswhen you have a
over the fact that if you were raised in
middle-class person who doesn’t understand
poverty, you are much more likely to be
that many people in poverty talk louder
poor as an adult than an individual who was
because poverty is loud and then they’re
raised - you know, Paris Hilton is not going
terrified when somebody is talking loud to
to be poor, no m atter what she does.
them.
Someone raised in the middle-class,
statistically speaking, is almost certainly
T.: Your book seems to be predisposed
going to grow up to be middle class. And
toward
empathy-driven tools, which you call
statistically someone who grows up poor is
“water tools.” Can you describe why you think
probably going to grow up to be poor,
that is important?
because you’re at a massive disadvantage.
We have to acknowledge the real
R.D.: Probably the biggest central idea in
differences, because those differences don’t
the
book that I really try to push is this idea
make homeless or poor people bad. It
that there’s two parallel systems for trying
R.D.: Just because society’s told you that
poor people are lesser than you - which
just, by the way, is just not true - you don’t
have to make someone lesser than you. The
irony of this all is when you treat someone
like a human, they treat you back like a
human being more often than not. But when
you treat someone like they’re inferior to
you, they tend to lash put.
We think that the best way to have a
calm, safe library; a calm, safe homeless
shelter; a calm, safe whatever — fill-in-the-
blank - is to use our power to force people
info compliance, and to really make sure,
that they know who’s in charge and who’s in
power and who carries the biggest stick.
And that’s just not true. The best way to a
calm, safe library; a calm, safe nonprofit; a
calm, safe homeless shelter - whatever - is
to actually treat people with human dignity.
And when you treat people with human
dignity, they tend to respond in kind. One of
the things I try to teach in the training is
lead people into the behavior you want from
them, don’t follow them in what you don’t
like about what they’re doing. This idea that,
if you’re a jerk to people, they tend to be a
jerk back. Regardless, homeless, non­
"""
Conversation
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homeless?
Transition
Projects
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Page 11
to get people to follow the rules:
punishment-driven enforcement and
empathy-driven enforcement. Punishment-
driven enforcement - or the “fire” tools
you get people to follow the rules by
threatening punishment. Return the book
on time or I’ll give you a fine. Don’t speed
or I’ll give you a ticket I tell my kids don’t
break curfew or I’m going to ground you.
It’s the threat of punishment that keeps you
in line. Those are your fire tools. Empathy-
driven tools are, if I’m nice to you, you’ll be
nice to me. If I do you a favor, you’ll
probably do me a favor. If I smile at you,
you’re much less likely to cuss me out. If I
ask you nicely to do something, you’re much
more likely to do it than if I’m a big, fat jerk
about it. And there’s a whole psychology
behind th a t I’m grossly oversimplifying it.
And what I try to teach people is that yelling
at people, threatening them, punishing, is
not the only way to get people to follow the
rules. Being nice to them, doing them
favors, treating them with human dignity, is
a whole parallel system for getting them to
follow the rules, and it actually works better.
T.: I saw your TEDx Talk at North Central
College, and you summarized that by saying,
“Be who you are. ” Could you expound upon
that a little bit?
R.D.: It was about figure out what your
deepest, most cherished values are and live
those values. To figure out what your truest
values are is the times you’ve failed them.
Because, when you fail one of your deepest-
held values, you feel like garbage. Think
about the times you were really
disappointed in yourself, and use those
moments to realize what you hold most
dear. For me, standing up for the vulnerable
is one of my most inherent core values. And
every time I’ve failed to do that. I’ve lost a
little bit of me. It’s not just about being who
you are, it’s about figuring out what are your
most cherished values and live that to the
fullest.
Courtesy of Street Roots’ sister paper Real
Change / INSP.ngo