Street roots., June 16, 2017, Page 9, Image 9

Street Roots • June 16-225, 2017
News
Page 9
FOSTER, fro m page 8
not raise kids.
It was when Fisher had a client who
where festival goers can learn more about
routinely took in LG B T Q youths who had
becoming an adoptive or foster parent.
been evicted from their families that the
Last year 40 people who visited the
couple began to rethink the possibility of
Pride festival booth filled out forms for
having youths in their home.
adopting and fostering youths.
“She had commented about there being
But the booth is also intended to let the
a tremendous need,” said Fisher.
L G B T Q community know that in Oregon,
The couple began to think about taking
they are wanted as foster and adoptive
in wayward teens as a way of giving back to
parents.
the community.
Child welfare agencies in many states “go
“We were very specific about wanting
back and forth on whether they want to
roughly high-school age kids that were
work with LG B T Q couples,” said King.
displaced because of their sexual
“Not only is Oregon willing, but eager to
orientation,” said Fisher.
work with LG B T Q families.”
It was about seven years ago when the
Like same-sex couples, many people who
couple approached the DHS booth at the
rent or who are single often assume they
Portland Pride festival to find out more
are not eligible to become foster parents,
about how they could begin to help
Masserant said. But in Oregon, that’s not
displaced LG B T Q youths.
the case.
They soon took the introductory class,
But having someone who can accept and
and slowly, they completed the certification
support an LG B T Q child’s self expression
process, still weighing their options and
in the home can make a big difference in a
deciding whether or not foster parenting
youths’ life.
was right for them.
Among straight kids, a Human Rights
What they discovered was that most
Campaign survey of 10,000 American
teenagers who are evicted for being
teenagers found their top problems were
LGBTQ-identified, don’t end up in DHS
issues around college and career, grades
custody, said Fisher. They began to take in
and classes and finances related to college
children of all ages, and were often
contacted for temporary placement of
or their job.
LG B T Q youths just entering the system.
In contrast, the same survey found that
“What we’ve experienced is there is
for LG B T Q youths, school bullying, non­
really a lot of need for people to help trans
accepting families and fear of being out or
kids in the community,” said Williams. “We
open topped the list - not that they don’t
got a lot of phone calls that were either
have all the pressures of graduating high­
emergency placements or long-term
school and paying for college as well.
placements, and they were often at times
For kids growing up LG B T Q in Oregon’s
when our home was full.”
foster care system, a whole additional layer
Fisher added, “We would often turn kids
of trauma and family-related problems are
away because we were focused on the
piled on.
individuals here.”
“We’re looking for people with tools and
Today Williams is a stay-at-home dad, and
skills around supporting youth - whether
the couple has an adopted daughter and is
they be within the community or allies.
in the process of adopting two more kids
Understanding the nuances of caring for a
who came into their lives through foster
child who is LG B T Q is important.
care.
Especially given the statistics we’ve seen,”
“We traveled and we had a great time.
said King.
We have a whole wall covered with photos
King was referencing the Williams
of trips we’ve taken all over the world -
Institute’s Los Angeles Foster Youth Study
now we can’t even go to the theater!”
conducted in 2014.
laughed Fisher.
The study found: “LG B T Q youth have a
Less than six months after being placed
higher average number of foster care
in their home when he was 13, Bedolla
placements and are more likely to be living
came out to Williams and Fisher.
in a group home. They also reported being
“When he came out of the closet
treated less well by the child welfare
though,” Williams said, “those closet doors,
system, were more likely to have been
they blew off, and he came out with jazz
hospitalized for emotional reasons at some
hands!”
point in their lifetime, and were more likely
Fisher said if he could dictate a child’s
to have been homeless at some point in
sexual orientation, he would tell them to be
their life.”
straight - it’s much easier.
Regardless of religion or personal beliefs,
“We’ve never encouraged someone -
said King, D H S expects all foster families to
‘Being gay is awesome! You should give it a
accept and be affirming of all youths
shot!’ That’s not our job, our job is to
identities.
provide a safe and nurturing environment,”
It’s also a stipulation of the Oregon
he said.
Foster Children’s Bill of Rights. King said
But Fisher and Williams were able to
when D H S hears a foster parent is
help Bedolla with some of the nuances of
discriminating against a foster child, “we try
coming of age as a gay male.
to address that through their certifier.”
When Bedolla came home from sexual-
education class at school, they asked him if
he learned how to use a condom. He hadn’t,
so they were there to teach him without
‘Honorary family’
judgment.
Before they married, Fisher and Williams
Fisher said with the prevalence of HIV in
had discussed their priorities, and kids
the LG B T Q community, it was imperative
were not part of the plan. Williams worked
that Bedolla knew how to be safe, but they
as an executive restaurant chef and Fisher
made sure he also knew they were not
as a trial lawyer. Both had busy schedules
encouraging sexual activity.
and the couple wanted to travel the world,
ill
Find out if foster parenting
is right for you
Despite common misperceptions, Oregon DHS urges
foster parents. You must be at least 21 years of age and
ild welfare PRIDE
Pride Northwest festiva
«II be located in slot D5 to the I
stage along the main promenade on t
>lds ir
parent twice a month.
ill
is no
lali
or
.The
an overview
Wednesdays from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Use East Entrance
July 5
Aug. 2
Wednesdays from 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m.
July 19
Aug. 16
Sept, 20
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DHS East County Family Service Center
11826 NEGIisan S t
Portland, OR 97220
To register, call the Metro Training Line:
971-673-1822
If you are an Oregonian who lives outside of Multnomah
County: call 1-800-331-0503 toll free to find out about an
“We still refer to it as our ‘banana
condom dinner,” ’ Fisher said.
Now 17, Bedolla lives with his mother.
But he says the time he spent living with
Williams and Fisher was one of positive
growth. He still visits their home in Tigard
on a weekly basis.
“He’s honorary family,” said Fisher, to
which Bedolla grinned.
The couple has some advice for
prospective adoptive and foster parents.
“If there is anyone who is going to read
your story and thinks, I have heard horror
stories about the foster system, I don’t
want to be a part of that, but my husband
and I are really interested in adoption,” said
Fisher, “I think that you are potentially
setting yourself up for failure because you
don’t know what you are getting into unless
you have at least fostered a couple kids
first.”
Williams agreed. He said while foster
parenting can be challenging at times, it’s
beyond rewarding to see the changes made
in kids’ lives.
“We never knew we wanted to be parents
until we were parents,” said Williams. “And
the foster system led us there.”
emily@streetroots. org
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