street roots
16
Aug. 29. 2014
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roots
By Soup Can Sam, staff astrologist
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
it’s your shift as the the P-town ghost cop. Give
eveiyone tickets for inappropriate haunting. Moan
tragically when they ask to see your badge.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) If you were a
yellow lab and your new neighbor were a
yellow lab you two could be friends. But sadly
300 times the folic acid as asphalt. Go figure.
they are not. They are4ike an angry tabby.
A ndgogreenh •;
Stay off the lawn.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Have you heard
about these bright blue jellyfish washing up on
the shore of Oregon? They’re called Velella
velellas. They form a giant blue sex island out
in the ocean. Embrace your inner Velella
velellas.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Kittens grow like
tomatoes in the summertime, not from green
to red, but by the cluster. Go out and get a
kitty, and promptly spay or neuter that-thing!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Everyone else
is going back-to-school crazy. Don’t be left
211 NW Davis S t
Portland, OR 97209
Return service requested.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Hair color, like
most rap lyrics, is just for fun.
behind! Take a class at PCC and buy some
new sparkly pencils. Or just stalk a campus.
the end of the summer? Someone’s got to
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Bellbottoms!
take the hit for the team. Try to love Portland,
Cancer (June 21 -July 22) A sinus cold at
regardless.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Brunettes are 18
times more likely to drink decaf coffee. Go
like the world is a big, heavy wet thing, and
figure. And go blond.
that everyone and their dog is part of the
Leo (July 23-Aug.22) You may be feeling
heavy wet thing. To brighten your spirits throw
Aries (March 21 -April 19) Don’t eat iceberg
Street Boots
lettuce. Life’s too short.
T a u r u s (A p r il 2 0 - M a y 2 0 ) Zucchini has
a quarter in the ol’ jukebox.
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