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street roots
July 20 2012
a rE YOU or your business a frequent traveller ?
gh Hotels4Change
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
A rolling stone gathers no moss, but only If It
showers once In a while. Get your restless feet,
your wandering eyes, your gypsy heart and the
rest of you Into a bathtub, stat.
Like most of the ice cream in
Portland, the rest of the month will be a sticky mix of
familiar flavors and strange ingredients that just barely
belong. Brace yourself for a funky aftertaste come
August.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Are you absolutely sure
that the state of Arkansas exists? Have you ever
actually met anybody from Arkansas? Well, you’re
about to.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Keep an eye on the sky
this month. You’ll catch some great sunsets. Also,
there’s a water balloon with your name on it.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
“Any humans out there
wondering if we miss our privates after we get fixed -
WE DO. #guiltthehumans,” tweeted George Bailey,
mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith’s puggle, last week Aries (March 21-April 19) Word on the street is that
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) When work gets you down,
and life is generally crappy, just keep telling yourself
(@GeorgeBaileyDog). Don’t ask the obvious questions. there’s a new reason to shut your window at night: bed
bugs are now piggybacking on squirrels and sneaking
that it could be worse. It could be “The Hunger Games”
played on a continuous loop, and you all “Alexed” from Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 23) Leopard print — sexy, into your home. But that free armchair you found on the
or kind of creepy in a casting-couch/aging trophy wife street should be fine.
“A Clockwork Orange.”
sort of way? You don’t care — keep rocking it, Sag!
Taurus (April 20-May 20) It’s time for suspenders to
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) The sun is shining here in
make a real comeback, and it’s up to you to force them
Portland, which means that “free” boxes are popping
Capricorn (Dec. 24-Jan. 19) Rumor is, former
upon the 21st century. You’re on your own, but this
up like acne across the city. There is a dog-chewed
congressman Anthony Weiner is “seriously considering” ain’t a bad city to start in.
pair of Crocs and mildewed copy of “Catcher In The
a run for mayor of NYC. If he’s got the balls to stop
Rye” in your future.
dwelling on past embarrassments, so can you. Be bold! Gemini (May 21-June 20) Ghosts are real!
Remember that come August.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
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Portland, OR 97209
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