THE
----- Q
^VtntShdck^’
It’s time to get those political juices flowing. Not
only arc the elections just a few months away, those
"Party Conventions” are just around the corner. Will
the Y ippies ol the 90’s choose to disrupt the
Republican Convention or will they allow the
Republicans to self-destruct amidst talk of cultural
warfare? Will Hillary Clinton be allowed to attend
the Democratic Convention or w ill she be trundled
oil to an all-important goodwill tour of the Arctic
Circle? And don’ t forget about Ross Perot Party or
whatever they are calling themselves these days.
They’ve made rumblings about a nominating
convention to which, presumably , the good Admiral
(W ho am I? Why am I here?) will be cordially un
invited.
These and other question will rattle around until
November and there will be a billion polls between
now and then telling us absolutely nothing about
anything (who exactly are these people that keep
changing their minds in these ridiculous polls ?).
Several years ago I pretty much dropped out of the
political w hirl and other than managing to keep my
voters registration card current, due mostly to my
diligent significant other, there arc few political
questions that I find interesting let alone tolerable.
Howev er, in try ing to write about this month all this
political stuff made me think back to my days at the
OSPIRG cult and the all important Question of the
Day. This question was designed to kill time by
asking people some outlandish question that usually
made no sense whatsoever (Which rock band was ’
the biggest waste of time? What was your favorite
outfit when you were 10 that you are most
embarrassed by now?, etc.)
My question is simply this: If each person of any
significance in the upcoming election were a bottle of
wine what kind of wine would they be?
Well, I have thought long and hard" about this and I
have some answers that I think arc quite rev ealing
into the character of each individual and to the depths
to which I will sink to cover a page with words.
Bill Clinton: Obv iously Bill Clinton could not be
one particular wine varietal. He would be Merlot,
White Zinfandel and Chardonnay. These are the 3
most popular wines in this country. Depending on
who you were he would be either a red, pink or
white wine. If it was a warm day and you wanted to
discuss education reform he could be a Chardonnay,
if you wanted to meander into topics such as military
spending, NATO and balanced budget amendments
he could be White Zin. Heck, if you asked enough
questions he could be a big old magnum filled with
all three.
Bob Dole: No question about it, Bob Dole would
be the second label of a Bordeaux producer.
Bordeaux and Bob Dole are so amazingly alike it’s
frightening. With either one you know what you are
getting when you buy it, there’s very little that it is
difficult to understand, both hav e good character and
are well refined, they are leaders in their field and are
strong and straightforward. Both are also very old.
But Bob Dole is the Pav ilion Rouge of Chateau
Margaux and not the Grand Vin. He’s Richard
Nixon’s former hatchet man, protégé and no doubt
his psychic channeler. Solid, unspectacular and in
each case you’re probably better off putting your
money somewhere else.
Pat Buchanan. As a left-winger how can you not
root for this guy to get major minutes in prime time
during the Republican Convention? Pat Buchanan is
Retsina. It was hard to pick a wine from any country
without offending the sensibilities of people from
that country so to all the good people of Greece I
apologize. Retsina is a wine made with pine resin
[used originally for preservative purposes] and it
tastes like a pine tar rag that baseball players use to
get a better grip on the bat [or hit home runs in
George Brett’s case]. Few people in the world
understand Retsina, fewer like it and most people
just think it is either downright loathsome or just a
might crazy. Mad Dog was a strong consideration
until I thought about the 20/20 part of that label and I
certainly didn’t want to imply that Mr. Buchanan
operates with any type of clarity of vision.
Ross Perot. Boone’s Farm. When you were young
and would take whatev er alcoholic bev eragc you
could get a hold of, Boone’s Farm was always a
kind of cool thing. It sort of tastes like Raspberry
Soda, is a little bubbly and even when you are 16
you aie fully aware that this is something that you
just cannot take seriously at all.
R ecom m ended W ine of the M onth: After all
that silliness you hav e got to be a little thirsty by
now. Folks, the 1994’s just keep rolling in. Good
producers are making really top notch w ines. Not
just Pi not Noir mind you but all varieties have clear
winners. This much-hyped vintage is showing its
colors and it is time to get on board.
1994 C r isto m M t. J e ffe r so n C u v ee P in ot
N oir: While many 1994 Pinot Noirs arc big,
robust and heady, this Pinot from Stev e Doeernecr
has elegance written all over it. Very Burgundian
flavors dominate in this wine. There is rich cherry
fruit but some underlying earthy qualities and some
sweet tannins on the finish remind me of some
Burgundies from Faively that I have had recently. It
can be drunk now but some cellaring will really
allow this wine to dev elop some incredible flavors.
Top notch. $20
3
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umx Ltfl tK t 3ULÏ flit.
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Cannon Beach
In Coaslcr Theater Courtyard
Established 1977
Featuring Northwest, California
& Imported Wines
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263 N. Hemlock
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1994 W itn e ss T r e e C h ard on n ay: One of the
best Chardonnays in the state. Their 1994 Pinot
Noir was pretty good bill I think the Chardonnay has
it over the Pinot. Rich fruits predominate and while
it is definitely on the toasty side there is such great
mouth feel to it that it washes down really smoothly.
Another few months w ill allow it to come together
more but you can’t really lose drinking it now for
$13.
1994 A u tu m n W ind Sauvignon Blanc: T here
are only a handful of Suav e. Blanc producers in
Oregon and most of them do it as a throw away
wine. Not Autumn Wind. This wine has amazing
richness to it provided by super ripe fruit from The
Dalles. Clover and honey flavors swirl in the mouth
and a touch of oak and coconut on the finish round
off this delicious wine. A great deal at $K.
436-9356
Cannon Beach, OR
Top-drawer eats"
. The Oregonian
Absolutely delicious homemade soups and sandwiches
Freshly baked desserts and Torrefazione Italia Coffee
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