THE ----- Q ^VtntShdck^’ It’s time to get those political juices flowing. Not only arc the elections just a few months away, those "Party Conventions” are just around the corner. Will the Y ippies ol the 90’s choose to disrupt the Republican Convention or will they allow the Republicans to self-destruct amidst talk of cultural warfare? Will Hillary Clinton be allowed to attend the Democratic Convention or w ill she be trundled oil to an all-important goodwill tour of the Arctic Circle? And don’ t forget about Ross Perot Party or whatever they are calling themselves these days. They’ve made rumblings about a nominating convention to which, presumably , the good Admiral (W ho am I? Why am I here?) will be cordially un­ invited. These and other question will rattle around until November and there will be a billion polls between now and then telling us absolutely nothing about anything (who exactly are these people that keep changing their minds in these ridiculous polls ?). Several years ago I pretty much dropped out of the political w hirl and other than managing to keep my voters registration card current, due mostly to my diligent significant other, there arc few political questions that I find interesting let alone tolerable. Howev er, in try ing to write about this month all this political stuff made me think back to my days at the OSPIRG cult and the all important Question of the Day. This question was designed to kill time by asking people some outlandish question that usually made no sense whatsoever (Which rock band was ’ the biggest waste of time? What was your favorite outfit when you were 10 that you are most embarrassed by now?, etc.) My question is simply this: If each person of any significance in the upcoming election were a bottle of wine what kind of wine would they be? Well, I have thought long and hard" about this and I have some answers that I think arc quite rev ealing into the character of each individual and to the depths to which I will sink to cover a page with words. Bill Clinton: Obv iously Bill Clinton could not be one particular wine varietal. He would be Merlot, White Zinfandel and Chardonnay. These are the 3 most popular wines in this country. Depending on who you were he would be either a red, pink or white wine. If it was a warm day and you wanted to discuss education reform he could be a Chardonnay, if you wanted to meander into topics such as military spending, NATO and balanced budget amendments he could be White Zin. Heck, if you asked enough questions he could be a big old magnum filled with all three. Bob Dole: No question about it, Bob Dole would be the second label of a Bordeaux producer. Bordeaux and Bob Dole are so amazingly alike it’s frightening. With either one you know what you are getting when you buy it, there’s very little that it is difficult to understand, both hav e good character and are well refined, they are leaders in their field and are strong and straightforward. Both are also very old. But Bob Dole is the Pav ilion Rouge of Chateau Margaux and not the Grand Vin. He’s Richard Nixon’s former hatchet man, protégé and no doubt his psychic channeler. Solid, unspectacular and in each case you’re probably better off putting your money somewhere else. Pat Buchanan. As a left-winger how can you not root for this guy to get major minutes in prime time during the Republican Convention? Pat Buchanan is Retsina. It was hard to pick a wine from any country without offending the sensibilities of people from that country so to all the good people of Greece I apologize. Retsina is a wine made with pine resin [used originally for preservative purposes] and it tastes like a pine tar rag that baseball players use to get a better grip on the bat [or hit home runs in George Brett’s case]. Few people in the world understand Retsina, fewer like it and most people just think it is either downright loathsome or just a might crazy. Mad Dog was a strong consideration until I thought about the 20/20 part of that label and I certainly didn’t want to imply that Mr. Buchanan operates with any type of clarity of vision. Ross Perot. Boone’s Farm. When you were young and would take whatev er alcoholic bev eragc you could get a hold of, Boone’s Farm was always a kind of cool thing. It sort of tastes like Raspberry Soda, is a little bubbly and even when you are 16 you aie fully aware that this is something that you just cannot take seriously at all. R ecom m ended W ine of the M onth: After all that silliness you hav e got to be a little thirsty by now. Folks, the 1994’s just keep rolling in. Good producers are making really top notch w ines. Not just Pi not Noir mind you but all varieties have clear winners. This much-hyped vintage is showing its colors and it is time to get on board. 1994 C r isto m M t. J e ffe r so n C u v ee P in ot N oir: While many 1994 Pinot Noirs arc big, robust and heady, this Pinot from Stev e Doeernecr has elegance written all over it. Very Burgundian flavors dominate in this wine. There is rich cherry fruit but some underlying earthy qualities and some sweet tannins on the finish remind me of some Burgundies from Faively that I have had recently. It can be drunk now but some cellaring will really allow this wine to dev elop some incredible flavors. Top notch. $20 3 I umx Ltfl tK t 3ULÏ flit. I Cannon Beach In Coaslcr Theater Courtyard Established 1977 Featuring Northwest, California & Imported Wines Collector Wines From 1875 Through Curreni Vintages Featuring Over 1000 Wines Wine Racks, Glasses &. Wine Related Items ★ ★ ★ Northwest Best Places Award al Excellence The Wine Spectator Casual Dining Overlooking the Hestucca River Spirits a Mot Sandwiches Fresh Seafood Dinners a Home Baked Desserts W in e T a stin g Live Music Every Saturday Hight Every Saturday Afternoon 1-5 PM 1 2 * 7 S. H e a la c k P.O . B a x 4 S C a n n es Beach, O B 9 7 1 1 * (9 9 3 )4 3 9 *1 1 7 9 pacific city , (5 0 3 ) 9 6 5 -6 7 2 2 O regon Different Wines From Around The World Each Week Open 11 AM-5 PM • Closed Tues. 1235 S. HEMLOCK Cannon Beach Laurel’s 7AM — 2PM C annon Breakfast 4t Lunch Closed Mon. 4k Tues. B each Wine Shop 263 N. Hemlock (503) 436-1666 flaming carrot catering p a t tip p e tt 1706 NE 32nd. Portland, Oregon 97212 (503) 288-3090 Ocean View Fine Coffee Tempting Sweets ( « m i i K vui (« » a m id e , it.m . 200 N. Hemlock Cannon Beach, OR 436-2467 "Where quality and tradition make kids happy” NATURE 5OLINDS & NATL IRE. FORCHILDREN Leamir13 Tapes &L C D s ___ -, Titles Include: 9 • R ockin'R eptiles • W hales of the World • Planet Me! £*? Htu <*i 7« ij« • The Green Revolution not 5 oe (S0W6-120J * e ' • T he Planet H a s a Plan - • Recycling I Ecology • Jurassic Explorers • IPs a Jungle O u t "There 1994 W itn e ss T r e e C h ard on n ay: One of the best Chardonnays in the state. Their 1994 Pinot Noir was pretty good bill I think the Chardonnay has it over the Pinot. Rich fruits predominate and while it is definitely on the toasty side there is such great mouth feel to it that it washes down really smoothly. Another few months w ill allow it to come together more but you can’t really lose drinking it now for $13. 1994 A u tu m n W ind Sauvignon Blanc: T here are only a handful of Suav e. Blanc producers in Oregon and most of them do it as a throw away wine. Not Autumn Wind. This wine has amazing richness to it provided by super ripe fruit from The Dalles. Clover and honey flavors swirl in the mouth and a touch of oak and coconut on the finish round off this delicious wine. A great deal at $K. 436-9356 Cannon Beach, OR Top-drawer eats" . The Oregonian Absolutely delicious homemade soups and sandwiches Freshly baked desserts and Torrefazione Italia Coffee 1