Busting the Golden Hardhat
•
DEMOLITION, BLASPHEMY,
AND HYPERBOLE
C la rk F ie ld , A u s tin - A s p lit-le v e l outfield,
w ith a very unfriendly 12 foot limestone c lif f
running from the le ft fie ld foul line to right
center bisecting most of the o u tfie ld And yes,
the upper tier was in play
M e m o ria l S tadium , B a ltim o re - Before
June, 1954, you would have to battle a hedge on
a fly b a ll to center
"Several rules of stadium building should be
carved on every owner's forehead Old, if
properly refurbished, is always better than
new Sm aller is better than bigger Open is
better than closed Near beats far Silent
visual e ffe c ts are better than loud ones Eye
pollution hurts attendance Inside should look
as good as outside Domed stadiums are
crim inal ’
-Thomas Boswell
Regarding the ballyard, Thus Spake Boswell
But is It gospel?
Baseball, unlike other team sports, has an
almost sym biotic relationship between the
players on the stage upon which the grand
drama is set Ruth, a fte r all, had a house built
to his own specifications Wynn and Cruz had
their games constricted by the Astrodome Who
can say how many dingers Aaron would have hit
in 24 years In the launching pad In Atlanta?
And, of course, who can forget the national
debate regarding the consequences of a trade
sending W illiam s to the short rig ht porch In
Yankee Stadium and DiMagglo to the Green
Monster in Fenway?
This game is unlim ited in two dimensions,
having no game clock and no re strictio n s on
fie ld size, other than sixty feet six inches for
the pitcher and ninety feet on the base paths
(A th ird dimension, previously unhindered, has
been e ffe ctive ly truncated by domed ceilings )
Thus, o u tfie ld and foul ground areas are
radically varied and oftentim es determine the
character of the teams that occupy them The
older parks generally had more eccentricities
because they were bu ilt in inner c itie s, in great
density, tailored to the space provided This
resulted in various angles, overhangs, inclines,
slopes, screens, nets, flagpoles, tarps, pipes,
doors and ivy to torment the unwary fielder
Most parks in service to the "m ajor
leagues", which we can define as the American,
National, and Negro Leagues and the American
Association, had such quirks Imagine the
adventures you'd face playing in them
H u n tin g to n Avenue B a se b a ll Grounds,
B oston - Here you had to deal w ith dead sandy
spots in the ou tfield There was also a tool
shed in center that was in play, but most likely
you would fir s t have to battle through ten deep
spectators that ringed the yard
E a ste r P ark, B ro o klyn - Call me crazy, but
naming your team the "Trolley Dodgers' after
the ordeals your fans have to endure just to get
in the park does not spell customer service
It's like calling the Yankees the ‘Mugger
Outrunners"
Ebbets F le ld , B ro o klyn - Even th is beloved
brickpile, probably the closet thing to
perfection of any ballyard, had its flaw s It had
no press box for sixteen years, and the center
and rig ht fie ld walls had enough w eird angles
to make snooker hustlers out of Snider and
F u rlllo In one pennant c ritic a l 1950 game. Pee
Wee Reese h it a ball into the rig ht fie ld screen
that fe ll straight down and bounced on the top
of the w all several times, and then stopped
dead Reese scored on an inside-the-park home
run
L a k e fro n t, Chicago - A pitcher's living hell,
w ith miniscule foul lines of 180 feet to le ft
and 196 feet to right In 1884, the White
Stockings had 142 home runs in th is abberation,
an astounding figure In a dead ball team
Next Month Part 2
Ponce DeLeon P ark, A tla n ta - In right
center, a long fly ball would require you to run
up a steep embankment and play the ball o ff a
stand of magnolia trees, which were in play
8 WfftLLtfltB&t ftKYIW
It is dnigned to brook your heart The
gmoe begins in the spring, when
everything else begins egetn, and it
blossoms in the summer, f illin g the
afternoons and evenings, and then as
soon as the c h ill rains come, it stops
end leaves you to face the fa ll alone
- A B a rtle tt Oiam attl
Commissioner of Baseball 1 9 8 9
1922 - The United States Supreme
Court, under direction of ex-president
w illia m Howard Taft, bestows a g ift
upon organized baseball unheard of
then and since U 5 Steel can t get it,
General Motors doesn t have it, and
it s beyond the w ildest dreams of the
railroads, coal mines, and shipping
companies It is an exemption to the
Sherman A nti-T rust Law, on the
reasoning that baseball is neither
trade nor commerce This, mind you,
is a court that reatures such heavy
weights in jurisprudence as Oliver
wendall Holmes and Louis Brandeis,
and w rite s th is decision a mere two
years a fte r the Black Sox scandal
comes to light This Just has to rate
right up there w ith the Deed Scott vs
Sandford and Plessy vs Ferguson as
monumental Judicial stup idity it
allows management a free hand in
determining who plays where, when,
for who, and for how much Imagine
AT&T w ith a s im ila r mandate The
federal government did, file d suit, and
that s why you now have all those
really irrita tin g phone commercials
on TV, from Sprint and MCI
1972 - The Supreme Court, on
Judicial review, says, In effect, okay,
we screwed up on the baseball thing,
but now It's in the hands of Congress
These various committees, aside from
some useless blustering and sabre
ra ttlin g , have, through the ir "positive
inaction , e ffe c tiv e ly endorsed the
status-quo
1994 - The th ird s trik e /lo c k -o u t
in thirteen years is imminent
Unaccustomed as I am to the role of
apologist for a pride of m illionaires,
it s obvious the owners are engaged in
union busting, clear and simple
They are, as exem plified by their
exclusion of the entire state of
Florida u n til 1993, also engaged in
unreasonable re stra in t of trade The
standard argument against further
expansion is "We must avoid any more
dilution of ta le n t" This is s illy
Substitute "money and power" in that
sentence and you re nearer the truth
A fter all, seventy years ago there
were sixteen major league teams and
hundreds of minor league teams,
culled from a national population base
of half what it Is now But I digress
The owners want a salary cap in
the worst way, and the only quid pro
quo they are offering is revenue
sharing amongst themselves There
have been no financial disclosures, no
constructive proposals, v irtu a lly no
good fa ith bargaining on their part
whatsoever They are relying on the
current "era of good feeling" in the
game to sway public sentiment A
fundamental tenet of management
stresses that a strike or a lock-out is
a failure on everyone s part But
baseball players are s t ill nowhere
near the level of labor rights that the
rest of us take for granted True, the
average salary is about a m illio n
bucks a year, but th is is is a
short-term , labor intensive business
that raked in a cool $ I 9 b illio n in
revenue last year In the event of a
lock-out, the owners are banking on
your placidity and the inertia of
Congress to break the union and usher
in a new age of greed Perhaps not
Twenty-eight people do not own the
game of baseball There is one more
legal term that w ill come into play in
these labor negotiations
"Public Interest"