Dateline Nov 6, 1993, LA The Oregonian
Featured is a w ire service photo, of an out of
work ball-player He s decked out in an apron and
a paper hat He's doing community service He s
serving food to volunteer f ire -f ighters in Malibu
Beach Yes, it's Vince Coleman
And do you know what the best thing is about
this picture7
He's smiling
And this is the last tim e I w ill w rite .about
Vince Coleman
Brief Notes, Karma Dept
Vince Coleman was always a f iqure of low
drama, culm inating in his debacle of assault,
conviction, plea bargain, and summary dismissal
from the worst team in baseball t est we forget,
let's re-cap
He was Rook le of the Year for the 85
Cardinals, one of the best teams in th e past
twenty years Although he could evade a tag at
second base, he somehow couldn t elude a 5mph
k iHer tarp machine at Busch Stadium, suffering a
leg injury and contributing to a World Series
defeat
He was an innual stolen base leader w ith an
abyssmal on-base percentage He could leg out
impossible infleld hits, but his strikeouts were a
constant headache He never could figure out how
to steal fir s t
in 91, the Cards gave up on him, and he signed
as a free agent w ith the Mets He immediately
established himself as a fixtu re of locker room
s trife and complaint, at one time claiming the
Shea Stadium surface was costing his place in,
get this, the Hall of Fame
This litany of woe came to its predictable
climax when Coleman tossed a chunk of dynamite
into a crowd of his wage payer s outside Chavez
Ravine and then sped off tnOarryl Strawberry s
jeep,laughing
At th is time, I suggested that perhaps this
o v e r -paid, out of touch <htld <ould benefit f
"service job at the beach" Now, feeding other
people can be a very spiritua l thing when it s
done right It's also bloody hard and dangerous
work And therein lies the rub
Gary A . i n n u i l v k h
''£<•< J a
Phono 503 4 •>, 9130
FAX 503 4 36 9525
<3
RISTAURANT
* MARKIT
©
i rosh Seafood • Restaurant • Gill Racks
Petty Bitchiness Dept
Last year, Paphael Palmiero took the T-xas
Rangers to arbitration and won. w ith good reason
The Rangers had no case Palmiero is or»e of the
new stars of the game and a backbone of this
team, along w ith Franco and Gonzalez The last
time we looked, the Rangers were one pitcher
away from a pennant
Nevertheless, in a f it of feudal temper, the
owners of the Rangers refused to deal w ith
Palmiero in good fa ith this year. and signed a
lamedurk w ill Clark to a free agent contract
instead
In the follow ing hubub, Palmiero named Clar k a
Union-Bust mg Greedhead, and W ill said Raphael
was entitled to his opinion
Baseball is a business, involving vast amounts
of money, and an owner can hire and terminate
employees as he or she sees f it Perhaps all
professional sports should be socialized and
treated as public works, w ith elected directors
But that's another issue
Raphael Palmiero has just plain blown away
W ill Clark in every stat that counts for the last
two years He is clear ly the better ballplayer
This contract decision is nothing more than a
vendetta on the part of the Texas Rangers
managing partner, and the long suffering fans in
Dallas deserve better If you number yourself
one of these, direct your correspondence to,
The Texas Rangers Baseball Club
I 799 Copeland Rd
|P D
Ar lington, TX
QUIZ
1) Three sluggers had an
astonishing career RBI per
game ra tio of 92 Who down t
belong here?
A) Ted W illiam s
9 ) Sam Thompson
C) lo u Gehrig
0 ) Hank Greenberg
2 ) Locked into an epic groove,
he hit 10 dingers in 20 at bats
in 1968 Who was this guy7
A) W illie Mctovey
B) B illy W illiam s
C) Richie Allen
0 ) fra nk Howard
3) Who is ihe only Hall ot
Famer to homer in his firs t
at-bat on opening day'1
A) Paul Waner
B) Earl A v e rill
C) t ou Brock
0 ) Yogi Berra
4) Tony Perez is going in the
Hall next year, if lustice
prevails Which one of these
guys has more RBIs than
7) And which of Ibese grazers
is the oldest player to hit 40
homers in a seewn'1
A) Darrel Evans
B) Carl Yastrzyrns*i
C) Hank Aaron
D) Mike Schmidt
8 ) Who is the only player to
score six runs in a game
twice7
A) Ty Cobb
B) Me!Ott
C) Sian Musial
D) Ricky Henderson
9 ) Which set of siblings
garnered the most
M ajor-league base hits?
A) Hank and Tommy Aaron
B) Paul and I loyd Waner
Ch*oe. Dorn & Vinoe DiMaggio
D) Felipe, Matty A Jesus Alou
10) Which of these ’ w irle rs
was the youngest wSen they
won the Cy Young'1
A) Fernando Valenzuela
B) Tom Glsvine
C) Dwight Gooden
D) Bret Saber hagm
Tony7
A)
B)
C)
0)
Rogers Hornsby
T ris Speaker
Harmon KHIabrew
Reggie Jackson
5 ) Everyone knows Al k aline
won a baiting title at age 20.
who was the youngest in the
National league?
A) Rico Carty
B) Pete Reiser
C) B illy Hamilton
D) B ill Madlock
EXTRA CREDIT
Who was the only Cy Young
award winner to fxjve a son
play in the Maiors7
Next Month Big league
Her Thai I in Cannon Beach'
Reader Mail
The State of the
Game
and a contest w ith
PRIZES'
6) Who was the oldest
mounds™ an to recor d 300
strikeouts in a season?
A) Steve Carlton
B) Tim Keefe
C) Mike Scott
D) Don Sutton
“ I
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U C IH S IO ftOMoro M M H )
123 S Hemlock • P O Bo« I 159 • ( annon Beach ♦ OH 97110
university Taylor street was experiencing
gentrification, and the party I attended
by Marsha Morgan
was a grand old six-flat, newly renovated
and inhabited by migrating North Siders
Oh, it was a very sad day in Bridgeport
Mighty Bo had struck out Not to mention The party was on two levels and
downstairs, the large TV screen was
the "Big Hurt" and the even bigger Bell
Chicago had three mighty Caseys and they surrounded by an upwardly mobile crowd
cheering the Sox m that do-or-die Sox
had all struck out
game in Toronto I joined in, of course, at
As I walked to the bus stop on the day
after the Sox ignominous defeat in Comisky this point, happy to be cheering any
winning Chicago team
Park. I saw a hand lettered sign in the
North side fans are forgiving They wait
gutter, "White Sox Suck" and graffiti on a
until next year, they make excuses, they
newly painted wall, a more economical,
"Sox Suk * Its not that south side fans are fill the stadium game after game and cheer
rude (they are), but they show their anger, for a team completely out of the running
The south siders tolerate no excuses
disappointment and sadness They don't
There is no pretence at genUemany or
make excuses, they just express
ladylike sportsmanship When the Cubs
themselves
At first this didn t sit right with me 1 m won the division and went to the playoffs
against San Diego, Sox fans wore San Diego
a Cubs fan after all, and I was shocked
T-shirts and hats When the Sox stink up
when the Sox fans booed their own home
the south side, the fans do not speak
team during the first two games of the
encouragingly about next year They get
playoffs Cubs fans go out of their minds
mad Sox suk
when the team makes it to 500, even
Perhaps it is time we do the same, to
when they win a game decisively,
speak out in anger and tell the Chicago
northsiders celebrate for days after
A few days before, 1 attended a party on Cubs organization just how disappointing it
is to be a Cubs fan How terrible it is to tell
Taylor Street in what remained of the old
Italian neighborhood before Mayor Richard our children and our friends, year after
J Daley turned it into a sprawling, soul-less year, to wait until next year To make
excuses and talk about sportsmanship and
im iE T T L D & E JA M M Y I W
sticking with your team, win or lose,
l e t t e r « frem Chicaqe
regardless of how crazy your friends and
especially your children think you might
be Being a Cubs fan is like expecting the
tooth fairy to leave money when you have
your wisdom teeth removed
Enough already Let s quit saying wait
until next year The waiting should be
over by now and the rewards should be
forthcoming Get it together, guys 1 don't
care whether it's management or coaching
or leadership or hitting or pitching or the
fact that the locker rooms are as old as Old
Man Doubleday For god's sake, let's
fervently pray that the Cubs make their
Number One resolution in 199-4 to Play
Ball, really Play Ball' Otherwise, I resolve
to attend all Cubs games in the parking lot
of the 7-11 across the street from the old
friendly confines and yell. Cubs Stink
Cubs Stink Oh, God That felt sooo good
Just try it once You'll feel so much better
Cubs Stink'
(Although we understand Marsha is just
going through the winter withdrawal
symptoms common m baseball fans, we
feel we must print this disclaimer Any
opinions of the author about the Cubs or
their fans, are strictly those of the author,
and are not necessarily those of The Upper
Left Edge, its publishers, editors, or its
advertisers It shall continue to be the
policy of this paper to support the Chicago
Cubs to its last dying breath -ed)
A*(tq«e« • Codectfclf« • CiA«
M a x im u m B ro w s a b lllty l
B a c k r o o m b o o k s to re
p rin t» o r .d a rt
xn»'n • KW3
AMcr*ft OO
Astoria's Best Kept Secret
W IIT
M A R IN I M IN I M A R T
Baseball
1- A
2- 0
J -B
4- D
Quiz Answers-
6-C
7-A
8 B
9 -B
5- B
TO-C
EXTRA CREDIT- Vernon la w ,
whose sun Vance toiled Tor the
Port'and Bevos before moving
up to the Pirates in 1980