D^ar t »nr I p Mik*,
Arp you p ro -litp or pro-choice7
Angela w , Rhododendron
Dear Anqela.
B efore answering, Unr le Mike would like to
point out thaf, w ith all due respect. it s non** of
your business This said, w*- go on, approa* hirtq
the issue through the ba*"k door
After much soul searching, Uncle Mike lias
decided he is neither a n ti- liie r»or a n ti-rh o ifp A
situation without choices is worse than a day
without sunsfiine it is a day without free w ill
Having grown fond of making his own decisions,
uncle Mike would miss the opportunity to makp
bonehpad mistakes Oh, the choices ftp s had and
the der 1510ns he s madp
hut w#* digress
Unc I p Mike stands foursquare behind the notion
that what's inside his body is his
a principle
applying to both fetuses and involuntary urine
samples Anything less and liber ty is a charade
As for being p ro -life , who is not7 Those who
are not would, Py definition, be either dead or
making arrangements A woman who decides to
abort her unborn child is not ant I-1 if e She is
simply, for one reason or another, unable to meet
the demands of raising a human being Given the
results of indictable parent inq displayed on thp
nightly news, such decisions are not necessarily
immoral •
Regarding death per se, relieving in the
conservation nt m atter and energy, Uncle Mike
has no end of trouble pinpointing the nanosecond
when a living system stops being alive Change
and decay don t qualify On the quantum level
(ttie proverbial bottom line), death is a
m isinterpretation of the data Life, as thpy say,
goes on In a closed (if inf in ite) universe, therp
is no place else to go
F inally, Uric le Mike guest ions the logic of true
believers who qun down doctors (aka agents of
the devil) in park mg lots A growing mountain of
evidence from physics and bioelectromagnetics
points to the com forting view that the universe
is its e lf alive, each b it of it conscious and
evolving
To believe that human life is more sacred than
any other is to indulqe in fuzzy thinking Uncle
Mike (who loves children and would wish them all
born into a best of all possible worlds) wonders
if those m illin g angr ily in front of Planned
Parenthood clin ic s a) eat meat, h) support armed
c o n flic t in which strangers slaughter each other
at a distance, or c) have any adopted children
Dear Unc le Mike,
l‘m 23 and my boyfr lend arid I have been living
together tor a year He wants to get married I'm
not so sure i know I love him, but l don t know if
I know enough to know if I want to make that
kind of commitment Is everyone this uncertain7
My mom reads you, so I figure you're older and
might have some good advice
Cold Feet in Neskowin
*
‘•guai to yotjr own, and m aintaining this posture
for better and i w ->rst that s impossible to
imagine And then there are the ► ids
Havmq been married once, and patented
several times, Uncle Mike is now happily
unattached bu* would not nave missed a minute
of pair bonding - ev**n the insanity arid hysteria
As for advice, one might a1« w ell f lip a rom
Given a good attitude, and the certainty that wp
learn more from our mistakes than we do from
our successes, there are precious few failures n
life
7 iw /i o f ‘^ rr^inc( by the Sea
• / o u £ u y /rn / and Site p u t dr
• t ’lN tcMB S it « u d
•f ubbie flath et
'ShiiMIfft tMp
•St artvntutfh e t Co
ïû tn e JrOffriirue ftvd u iU
4360129
2 3 4 HtmL* ( i.l (.an/urn JQa»A
Dear Un< le Mik e,
a while back, you printed a cure for hiccups I
was so impressed. I wrote it down Now l can't
find the piece of paper I wrote it down on Could
you give it to me again7
HOPE L
H A R R IS
L IC E N S E D
MASSAGE
T H E R A P IS T
Ted C . Lincoln City
303- 3 2 5 2 5 2 3
Dear Ted.
Uncle Mike sincerely hopes you ve not been
hiccupping (or hiccoughing) steadily, w aiting for
his reply if so, listen carefully You .are very
sick and should go to the hospital
Having no medical credentials, Uncle Mike cart
only report what he witnessed in a saloon A
woman who said she d Peen hiccoughing for four
hours (b e tw e e n Seattle and Portland) sat down
and asked the w aitress for a bottle of b itte rs
She sloshed some onto tier napk in, stuffed the
napk in in her mouth and surked on it Two
minutes la’ er. she was as cured as anyone
returning from Lourdes
IN N IW H I A U N 4
t m » O W I > l P K K lU S I N f c
» IT IIT K
C O M U U A N T •ÎH IIA H U -M » )
W R lT IR • IN N O V A T O R
(5 0 1 ) 7 )0 9 4 4 0
ROM 1 0 7 1
IIA IIP I
O R 9 7 1 )0
O * 6 A N I 2 A T IO N A l C H A N C I C l O » A l « I N I W A l R ( V I T A l 12 A T IO N
A c u p u n t u r e — ( h irw N - H e r b s — M a s s a g r
VICTOR H. PLUCY. m.fl.
Counseling Psychotherapy
IndtsndmiJs Couples & families
436 9225
SklM
AM56SIA
Geyor I «ewe
Pending
k a » v « a f v b i l H u f f he is a a 4e
a a i i l p ro s p e r ity m i ease t r y h i a
A P G eu lb ey
Rolfing
by
Linda S tephens
creating m drprndm cr from physical restriction
’ Injury Rehabiltatuxi
1SH00 S W
Ik .r w s Frrrv Kit C U T
Frrr fem aukabans
¡Akr Oswtgi. Or OTOBf.
IX» cat) Uhi4
14 sta rs r x ie n r t v t as ■ hralth ra rr iratit»<KT
BI I T O U
TV «nhM .
• » .
Laurel's
Cannon
H r« ( h
W ine Shop
] * J N . lin n l< x k
(9 0 1 ) 41S 1S S S
"Peaceful Solutions to D ifficu lt Problems*
STEPHEN J. RUFFO
Mediation & Facilitation
686 Manzanta A vo
503 368- 7272
Maruartta. OR97130
V m t w OMA
A»l<q»es • CoUeclfcif« • C»fU
M a x im u m B r o w s a tk llty l
B o c k ro o m b o o k s to re
p rin t» o r . d a r t
«s «m • xm c< Mcrcwi »Aon« o c
Christina Stanley RN. I Be 'LC
Lactation Consultant
Breast Feeding .Assistance
K r it ll
C C K H K A N , M S W .A C
M
I l t n g M t » »>tt»
S W
l I K ’ I I I I K l l 'i s l
nl»\l tK'|Mli I'M th tilitg l .ip|'fi»h ll
In I»-««-» ni gnu» ili tf.inxilHMi . «ptitluwhts girxivf
( S i l l )MK StiJI
1 - • • •
H Q < m .
KAREN ANDERSON
The M a t la v i a a r ig h t is b e fo re it starts
F r e 4 r ic k 9 L e v is
Dear Cold Feet,
You hunch is correct Uncle Mike is older' In
fa rt, deliriously so Paddling happily against the
currents of f jshion, U rrle Mike is in no hurry to
he young again He did that. wd it made him very
tired
Is everyone uncertain7 One would hope so
Those certain of everything make poor dinner
companions Is everyone uncertain about
rnarriaqe7 Aside from characters in poor novels
and those entirely ignorant of human nature.
Uncle Mike thinks ye^ And for good reason
Here s what rnarriaqe is. booblah An oath
between two people to love, honor, and cherish
each other
u n til d e jth It means vowing
friendship in the face of eat inq and sleeping w ith
each other for. say. f if t y years it means putting
another persons interests on a level at least
urrtre itn tö« iicirnuna
THEM PAGE
M e d e la Breast P um p
R e n ta l S ta tio n
P.O Box 201
179 Coolidge
Cannon Beach. OR 97110
(501)4 '6-0161