► V t
Captain
'
W h i l e out for d i n n e r the o t h e r
n:qht, my fr i e n d and I w e r e approch-
ed by a p a n h a n d l e r .
My friend gave
him a q u a r t e r .
I say s he's a c h u m p
who just b e c a m e a c o d e p e n d e n t , and
the guy p r o b a b l y spent it on b ooze
or dope.
What do you think?
Shirley
C A N C E R : The w ork you ' v e been i n
vo l v e d w ith is about to pay off.
C o n t r a r y to what y our friends say,
y o u ' r e not a ni t w i t s i n k i n g into
d a n g e r o u s fantasies.
They'll see.
An d w hen they do, they'll f««] r e a l l y l
bad.
And you can rub it in the way
you a l w a y s do.
If Uncle Mike over found himself
standing on a corner asking people
like you for money to eat, he might
need a drink too.
if you can't
spare a quarter to make someone's
load a little lighter, at least
spare the rest of us your Calvinist
moralizing. Uncle Mike sincerely
hopes your job is secure.
l a s c i v i o u s l y at you.
have the time.
What
the w i n d is success.
No, you d on't
you smell on
V I R G O : As usual, you're w o r r y i n g
and fuss i n g too muc h
The 314 p r o
jects in p r o g r e s s will wait w h i l e
you get drunk and howl at the moon,
No one w i s h e s on their d e a t h bed
that they'd spent more time at the
office.
Turn off the belt sander.
put away the n e e d l e p o i n t ,
Ask some-
one to roll in the hay.
L I B R A : Those bor n under the sign
of the u n b a l a n c e d are e s p e c i a l l y
h a r m o n i o u s this month.
A rare c o n
j u n c t i o n of art and life turns bad
i n t e n t i o n s to great work.
On the
d o w n side, you r cat will have an
u n f o r t u n a t e e x p e r i e n c e wit h a pole
lamp.
The s u r g e r y will be s u c c e s s
ful but your s a v i n g s acco u n t dies.
No fair h o l d i n g a grudge.
S C O R P I O : H o pefully, last m o n t h
taught you a thing or two about
honesty, c o m p a s s i o n , and ho w fast
you can take a turn on your Harley.
S o m e o n e c lose to vou needs love and
understanding.
There's a d i f f e r e n c e
b e t w e e n g i v i n g and selling.
Your
m a n t r a this m o n t h is, Wor k W i t h o u t
Lust for Result.
C A P R I C O R N : When all else fails,
and this m o n t h it might, trust
your instincts.
There's nothing
g o i n g on you c a n ' t c o n t r o l and
manipulate.
If the c a r d s a r e n ' t
c o m i n g you r way, t h e r e ' s bee n some
m i s t a k e and, if you wait, the w o r l d
will s e l f - c o r r e c t .
If you must act
out, sit in the b a t h t u b and p u n c h
the b u b b l e s .
Silly, i s n ’t it?
A Q U A R I U S : No, life's not a l w a y s
fair in the s hort run
It'd be
a lot less so w i t h o u t you.
The
c o n s t r a i n t s you feel aren't r e a l .
N e i t h e r is the guilt.
Your w o r k
is not just wha t you do for m o n e y .
If it's not you r life, it'll e v e n
tually kill you.
Ask y o u r s e l f this:
"If this wer e the last day of my
life, h o w w o u l d I s p e n d it?"
Do
this e v e r y m o r ning.
I
K!>6 Okr SOwt
Eugvw. Ongur» 97401 ,
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Shirley,
B IS T R
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; 436 2661
»NWOh MACH
SINCE
V l i ^ lI K R
Dear U n c l e Mike,
Ou r d a u g h t e r J e n n i f e r is five.
Several m o n t h s ago, my wif e read
her a book about fairies.
Ever
since, J e n n i f e r insists she sees
and h e a r s them all ar o u n d her.
Her m o t h e r is b e s i d e h e r s e l f and
w 4 n t s 3 © n n i f © r t. o s © © ©
I say she'll o u t g r o w it.
Do o t h e r
kids go t h r o u g h this?
Art
M ic h a e l V o rc e T h o m s e n
503 325 3341 • FAX 503 325 3476
HO M E 325 1070
750 ASTO R STR EET • ASTO R IA. O R EG O N 97103
in N e t a r t s
Dear Howard,
Not n e a r l y enough.
T h e r e is,
in U ncle M i k e ' s h i l a r i o u s l y u n
q u a l i f i e d opinion, n o t h i n q w r o n g
with little J e nnifer.
She just
sees th i n g s you don't.
Cat s do
this all the time and we think
it's neat.
W h e n humans do it,
they need p r o f e s s i o n a l help.
Go
figure.
For what it's worth. Art,
pe o p l e hav e b e l i e v e d in faeries
for t h o u s a n d s of years.
Uncle
M ike s e r i o u s l y d o u b t s t h e y ' r e all
d e r a n g e d or stupid.
The faery
faith, or animism, rests on a b e
lief that all of na t u r e is alive.
S c i e n c e n o w rega r d s this as a fair
a s s e s s m e n t of the truth.
Are there
faeries?
T h e r e are if your d a u g h t e r
sees them.
B e f o r e you s h u f f l e the
poor kid off to the d r e a m - k i l l e r s ,
you might re m i n d y o u rself that no-
one has ever seen an electron.
Dear
SAG IT TARI U S : When t i l t i n g w i t h wind-
m i l l s , i t 's im p o r t a n t to w ear a h e l
met and knee pads.
And a big b a n d -
aid for your ego.
Pick y o u r s e l f up
and have at it again.
Whe n you r
h eart is pure, the w i n d s of the u n i
v e r s e are at your back.
So, u n f o r
tunately, are c r i t i c s .
» 31
in P o r t l a n d
About w h a t ?
Do I think the h uman
you feel s u p e r i o r to raced off w ith
your f r i e n d ' s q u a r t e r for a night of
debauchery?
who kn o w s ?
M aybe he
was p u t t i n g t o g e t h e r his P o r s c h e
payment.
Mostly, Uncle M ike thinks
it s not you r business.
He s u g g e s t s
you look up the w o r d s 'charity' and
’g i f t * in
II Funk S. W a g n a l l ' s .
Dear
* ■>
<. I : i t
> » li ’
d • i J I r
Mike,
G E M I N I : The several p e o p l e you a r e
plav nice t o g e t h e r this month.
If
vari e t y is the spice of life, this
m o n t h is c a j u n gumbo.
L augh at a d
v e r s i t y and flirt with paradox.
If thif d o e s n ' t work, sleep with
m y s t e r y as long as n e i t h e r you nor
it hav e a n y t h i n g c o n t a g i o u s .
Some
time after the 10th, you'll be a sked
to run away w i t h an a c c o u n t a n t .
Un
less you ' r e l o o k i n g for a tax s h e l
ter, it will end badly.
L E O : When the tough get going, Leos
hang o u t .
Why trv pushinu j r
ri g h t ?
M a t t e r s c o n t i n u e their u p
hill c l i m b and a very old d r e a m is
It t
true.
eve if you d o n ' t lash y o u r s e l f to
ip
ASK UNCLE MTKE
Dear U n c l e
T A U R U S : O t h e r s m a y call you p l o d
d i n g and dull, but we k n o w t h a t ’s
o nly half true.
Y o u ' r e also o b s t i
nate an d surly.
If you w e r e n ' t so
cute and d e p e n d a b l e , your loved ones
w ould h a v e s t u f f e d you in a burlap
bag and p i t c h e d you off a bridge
long ago.
S o m e t i m e a r o u n d the
10th, a m i m e will d e l i v e r a messa g e .
You'll ignore it and take a nap.
»• -*■
P I S C E S : Fish p e o p l e u s u a l l y feel
o u t of sorts d u r i n g the d r y season,
The rest of t he time, t h e y ' r e just
delirious.
I f it w e r e n ' t for myth,
romance, and f u l l b l o w n fantasy,
t h e r e ' d be no r e a l i t y at all.
Why
s weat d e t a i l s ?
C o n t i n u e to b e w i t c h
s t r a n g e r s and d a n c e w i t h m o o n b e a m s .
S o m e b o d y has to d o it and you ' v e
got the touch . And the ne u r o s e s .
Zodiac
W IFF:
It is said of Aries peo p l e
that they are fiery and brilliant,
1
p o s s e s s e d of a spirit of a d v e n t u r e
and d a r i n g .
Wha t this b o i l s down
to is a long s e r i e s of near fatal
m i s h a p s and e p i c h a n g o v e r s .
This
m o n t h is no e x c e p t i o n .
If you must
d a n c e on tables, w e a r clothes.
The
s p e c i a l p e r s o n you meet on the 16th
is an u n d e r c o v e r cop.
. v
Uncle
CANNON Bf Al H
BOOK COMPAQ
13? not Hi l.eir io. „
i3i,non hercii
4 3 6 - J 301
Mike,
If, as N e i l s Bohr said, a t o m s
aren't 'things', and the u n i v e r s e
is made of atoms, then it c an't
be a 'thing' either, right?
If
all there is is 'no t h i n g ’, ho w
come there 'a a n y t h i n g ?
Marv
Dear
in Newport
Marv,
Tricky q u e s t i o n , babe.
If you
ask me, von N e u m a n n was right.
The
u n m a n i f e s t c h a i n of q u a n t u m p o t e n
tial ( u n d i f f e r e n t i a t e d p r o b a b i l i t y )
is c o l l a p s e d into the o b s e r v a b l e
w o r l d by c o n s c i o u s n e s s , w h i c h is
to say, the a w a r e n e s s of d i f f e r e n c e .
H e i s e n b e r g said, "There is no q u a n
tum world.
T h e r e is onl y an a b s t r a c t
d e s c r i p t i o n of it."
Since von N e u
m a n n ' s Proof (1932) it has not bee n
p o s s i b l e to frame the rules of o b
s e r v e d r e a l i t y w i t h o u t r e f e r e n c e to
consciousness.
W i t h o u t it, the
u n i v e r s e b e c o m e s Oakland, about
w h i c h G e r t r u d e Stein said, "There
is no t here t h e r e . "
lighthouse
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