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About The North Coast times-eagle. (Wheeler, Oregon) 1971-2007 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1990)
PA GE 4 F R A N C IS C O G O Y A , " W IT H O R W IT H O U T R E A S O N " (1 8 0 8 ) F R O M " T H E D IS A S T E R S O F W A R " (" L O S D E S A S T R E S D E L A G U E R R A " ) A C O L L E C T IO N O F E IG H T Y -T H R E E P L A T E S D RAW N AN D E T C H E D MY FATHERS’ WARS B Y M A R G A R E T R . F R IM O T H M e m o r i a l D a y , 1 9 9 0 . M y l iv i n g r o o m is f a i r l y o r d e r l y g iv e n t h e v a r i e t y of th e p a s t w e e k 's a c t i v i t i e s . I a m r e l a x i n g w h ile B e e t h o v e n 's " S y m p h o n y N o . 9 " p l a y s in th e b a c k g r o u n d . T h e r u s h o f v i b r a t o f o llo w e d b y f lo w in g m e l o d i e s — p o w e r a n d t r a n q u i l i t y — g u id e s m y th o u g h ts . M y w e e k of triu m p h s a n d t r a u m a s s e t t l e s b e h in d m e a s a s e r e n e s u n s e t s b e h in d th e A s t o r i a b r i d g e . It i s M e m o r i a l D a y w e e k e n d . I a m s a f e . P r o te c te d . At le a s t I fe e l s a fe a n d p r o te c te d h e r e , s u r r o u n d e d by th e e n v ir o n m e n t I c a ll h o m e . I lo o k f o r w a r d t o t h e lo n g w e e k e n d b e c a u s e it a l l o w s m o r e t i m e f o r e n jo y i n g h o m e , f rie n d s an d f a m ily . B e c a u s e I hav e a n e x t r a d a y to r e l a x . N o t b e c a u s e I w a n t to t a k e t i m e to f e e l r e m o r s e o r g u i lt d u e to w a r t i m e r e p e r c u s s i o n s . I c h e c k th e l i s t i n g o f l o c a l w e e k e n d a c t i v i t i e s . P a r a d e s . B u g le c o r p s p r e s e n t a t i o n s . M o r e p a r a d e s . A nd m e m o r i a l s e r v i c e s in th e l o c a l c e m e t e r i e s . B e e t h o v e n 's a b r u p t m u s i c a l p u n c t u a t i o n b r a c k e t s t h e c a l m , a n d th e r e a l i s m o f th e w e e k e n d e ll ip s e s m y h o m e -b o u n d th o u g h ts . A M e m o r ia l D ay h o lid a y r e p r e s e n t s a r i t u a l o f c o p in g w ith t h e m e m o r i e s o f t h o s e w h o d ie d d u r in g o u r v a r io u s w a r s . G r ie f a c te d o u t th ro u g h h o lid a y . A s ta r tl in g c o n tra d ic tio n . T h i s w e e k e n d I w a n t to i m a g i n e m y s e l f s a f e a n d p r o t e c t e d . D o n 't w e a l l ? In t r u t h , o u r n a t i o n s b u i ld v e s t i g e s o f w a r f a r e , p r e te n d in g th a t d e fe n s iv e a r m s w ill c r e a te s a f e t y . I d o n o t w a n t t o h a v e to s t a r e w a r in t h e f a c e . I k n o w i t e x i s t s , b u t I d o n 't w a n t t o d e a l w ith i t d i r e c t l y . We t r i c k o u r s e l v e s i n t o b e l i e v i n g th e m y th o f s a f e t y b e c a u s e it i s s i m p l e r to f a t h o m t h a n th e c o m p l i c a t e d t r u t h o f th e m a n y d e f i n i t i o n s o f w a r a c t e d o u t th ro u g h v io le n c e . U l t i m a t e l y , w a r h a s n o t h in g to d o w ith th e a m o u n t o f d e f e n s e a r m s w e h a v e . W ar is a m i n d - s e t t h a t t r a n s f o r m s th e a c t o f p r o t e c t i o n i n t o th e s o c i a l l y a c c e p t a b l e a c t ol p o w e r o v e r o t h e r s . W a r is t h e a c t o f p r o t e c t i o n t a k e n o u t - o f - c o n t e x t a n d r e d e f i n e d a s th e r i g h t to b e v i o l e n t . U l t i m a t e l y , w e d o s t a r e w a r in th e f a c e . D a i ly . U n c o n s c i o u s l y . T h e e x is t e n c e of w a r is a c o n s ta n t f o r c e in a l l o u r l iv e s . W ar h a u n ts o u r la n d a n d i n v a d e s o u r e n v i r o n m e n t . W a r s l i p s i n to o u r h o m e s d i s g u i s e d a s e n t e r t a i n m e n t on t e l e v i s i o n s h o w s a n d m o v i e s . W a r , in th e f o r m o f d o m e s tic v io le n c e , in te r r u p ts r e l a ti o n s h ip s an d d e s tr o y s f a m ilie s . W ar a tta c k s c h i l d r e n in i t s f o r m s o f n e g l e c t a n d a b u s e . W e, a s a n a tio n o b s e r v e p r e s i d e n ts a n d p o li t ic ia n s a lik e , th ro w in g a ro u n d r a tio n iz a tio n s f o r d e fe n s iv e a c tio n s an d d e c is iv e a tta c k s lik e th e y w e re v o lle y b a lls a t a to u r n a m e n t. H o w e v e r , th e e n d r e s u l t i s n e v e r a t r o p h y ; i t h a r d l y s e e m s s u c c e s s f u l to w in a t w a r . I g u e ss I have b een s p a re d p e rs o n a l g rie f b e c a u s e m y f a m i l y h i s t o r y i s n o t f i l l e d w ith m i l i t a r y d e a t h s . B o th m y G r a n d f a t h e r a n d F a t h e r a r e v e t e r a n s . T h e y b o th s u r v i v e d th e a c t of w a r , b u t its p o w e rfu l im p r in t liv e s a n d is p a s s e d th ro u g h m y f a m ily to d a y . M y A m e ric a n - b o r n , D a n is h - r a is e d G ra n d fa th e r s t o l e a w a y f r o m D e n m a r k to r e t u r n to A m e r i c a a n d b e c o m e a W o r ld W a r I d a r e - d e v i l a i r f ig h te r . A h e ro , w ho n a r r o w ly e s c a p e d m a n y p l u n g in g , f i e r y d e a t h s , m y G r a n d f a t h e r f o u g h t to r e c l a i m a b r a v e h e r i t a g e w ith h o p e s f o r e v e n t u a l w e a l t h in t h e l a n d o f t h e f r e e . He w as s u c c e s s fu l as an a ir fig h te r. B ut s u c c e s s a n d th e a l l - A m e r i c a n d r e a m d id n o t m a k e h i m w e a l t h y . H is n e i g h b o r h o o d g r o c e r y s t o r e / c r e a m e r y w ith 30 f l a v o r s o f i c e c r e a m n e v e r o u t g r e w C l i n t o n , Io w a , a l t h o u g h th e i d e a h a s s i n c e p r o v e d p l e n t i f u l f o r th e l i k e s o f B a s k in a n d R o b b in s . He b e lie v e d th a t he d e s e r v e d a g o o d l if e b e c a u s e h e h a d f o u g h t th e g ood f ig h t. He b e lie v e d th a t r is k in g h is l i f e w h ile t a k i n g th e l i v e s o f o t h e r s w o u ld s o m e h o w e q u i p h i m w ith th e f o r m u l a o f n o ta b le s u c c e s s . M y G r a n d f a th e r p a s s e d on h is e x p e c t a t i o n s o f s u c c e s s a n d w e a l t h to h i s y o u n g e s t c h i l d a n d o n ly s o n , m y F a t h e r . At ag e e ig h te e n , m y F a th e r w a s d ra fte d . He c u r t a il e d h is A m e r ic a n d r e a m o f b e c o m in g a s u c c e s s f u l e l e c t r i c a l e n g i n e e r a n d w e n t to E u r o p e to f i g h t in th e w a r t o e n d a l l w a r s . A n d to b e a h e r o l i k e h i s D a d . T h e s t o r i e s m y F a t h e r t e l l s o f W o r ld W a r II d e l i g h t e d m u c h o f m y c h i l d h o o d . H e w a s a s t a r b a s k e t b a l l p l a y e r o n th e A r m y t e a m . H e w a s th e r e s p o n s i b l e m o n e y - k e e p e r f o r h i s b u d d i e s w h e n t h e y w e n t to th e E u r o p e a n b a r s . He a te q u a r ts of ic e c r e a m w h ile h is f r ie n d s s u c k e d dow n b e e r . He w a s g r a n te d a l e a v e a n d t r a v e l e d to D e n m a r k to s p e n d C h r i s t m a s w ith o u r d i s t a n t r e l a t i v e s . B u t on r a r e r o c c a s io n s m y F a t h e r e x p la in e d h o w th e w a r h a d c h a n g e d h i s l i f e . I g r e w to u n d e r s t a n d w h y h e n e v e r s a w h e r o i s m in f i g h t i n g ; w h y h e n e v e r b o u g h t m e to y g u n s ( th o u g h I b e g g e d t o b e l ik e a l l t h e o t h e r k i d s ) w hy he u n e v e n tfu lly p a s s e d on h is d u s ty , u n u s e d e n g i n e e r i n g t o o l s to m y y o u n g e s t b r o th e r ; w hy m y G r a n d fa th e r c u r s e d h im fo r m a r r y in g a s m a ll- to w n m i n i s t e r 's d a u g h te r; w h y he w a s c u r s e d a g a i n f o r c h o o s i n g a Café de laAíer 1287 S. Hemlock (503) 436-1179 Cannon Beach, Oregon Dinners begin at 5:30 nightly s m a l l - c h u r c h m i n i s t r y r a t h e r th a n s e e k in g b u s in e s s w e a lth . I r e m e m b e r th e few o c c a s io n s w h e n D ad s p o k e d i f f e r e n t w o rd s a b o u t t h e w a r . H ow h i s f a c e c h a n g e d t o r e f l e c t u n s p e a k a b le p a in , a c r in g e o f m e m o r y a s h e q u ie tly to ld of a p o s tw a r m a r c h to w a rd s a G e r m a n c o n c e n t r a t i o n c a m p ; o f s m e l l i n g it b e f o r e s e e i n g i t; o f k n o w in g t h e u n d i s g u i s e d tr u t h of w a r th ro u g h th e s te n c h of b u rn e d b o d i e s . W a r k i l l s . It k i l l s l i v e s a n d d r e a m s a n d h o p e a n d u n ity . W hat is f r e e d o m o r s a f e t y a f t e r s u c h a t o l l ? In s i m p l e a c t i o n s a n d p e n e t r a t i n g s t o r i e s , m y D a d c h a n g e d th e fa m ily i n te r p r e ta t io n of w a r . He r e c o g n iz e d t h e f r e e d o m t h a t l a y w a i t i n g , in p e a c e . My fa m ily h e r ita g e im p a c ts m e . I h av e tw o m o d e l s o f p o w e r t o l e a r n f r o m . W a r te a c h e s a b o u t p o w e r. D o I b e lie v e m y G ra n d f a t h e r 's t r u t h ? M y G r a n d f a t h e r w h o I lo v e b e c a u s e h e w a s s t r o n g a n d to u g h — a s u r v i v o r f r o m t h e o ld c o u n t r y , a n i m m i g r a n t w h o d a r e d to b u i l d a v i s i o n o f a n A m e r i c a n d r e a m . I lo v e d m y G r a n d f a th e r w h en he w a s a liv e , a n d fe lt h is p r e s e n c e w h en I s te p p e d on D a n is h s o il. O r do I lo o k to w a r d s m y D ad a n d s e e h is s t r u g g l e w ith m y b e l o v e d G r a n d f a t h e r ? M y D a d d a r e d t o g iv e u p . D a r e d to b e r i d i c u l e d . D a r e d to b e r e j e c t e d . T he p a r a d o x of p o w e r i s t h a t i t s s t r e n g t h i s in c h a n g e . We a r e n e i t h e r s a f e , n o r p r o t e c t e d . T h e u n f o r tu n a te t r u t h is th a t v io le n c e r e m a in s t h e s i m p l e s t m e a n s to a c q u i r i n g a d e s i r e d e n d . I c a n n o t h e lp b u t b e lie v e th a t th is s i m p l i c i t y i s th e m a t t e r t h a t b i n d s u s , l i m i t s u s . We f a l t e r in o u r q u e s t t o r i s e a b o v e d e s tr u c ti o n b e c a u s e we t o l e r a t e v io le n c e a s a m e a n s to e n d w a r . By p r a c t ic i n g w a r , we f a l l p r e y to it. U n til w e h o ld a c c o u n t a b l e a n y a c t o f v i o l a t i o n — w h a te v e r th e r e a s o n o r ju s t i f i c a t io n — w e w i l l n e v e r b e a b l e t o g iv e u p w a r . A n d w e r i s k l o s i n g th e p o s s i b i l i t y o f p e a c e . T h e liv in g r o o m is d a r k n o w , e x c e p t f o r t h e g lo w o f th e c o m p u t e r m o n i t o r a n d th e L E D l i g h t s on th e s t e r e o . I 'v e f l i p p e d th e B e e th o v e n o v e r , m u s in g a t m y o ld - f a s h io n e d e q u i p m e n t in t o d a y 's w o r l d o f t a p e s a n d C D s . T h e " C h o r a l e " s o f t l y c a p t u r e s th e f i r s t n o t e s in t h e " O d e to J o y . " T h e t e s e b e f o r e th e t r i u m p h . B l e n d in g o f d e l i c a c y w ith p o w e r . U n ity a m i d u n r e l e n t l e s s d i v e r s i t y . T h e m u s i c s e t s t h e to n e f o r t h e w e e k e n d . M e n ta l r e f l e c t i o n s . Q u e s t i o n s a n d c o n t r a d ic tio n s . G r ie f is a n a tu r a l p a r t of lif e . As is jo y . W hat r e m a in s u n n a tu r a l is th e p r e te n s e th a t we a r e u n a ffe c te d by v io le n c e , an d th e r e f o r e re m o v e d fro m a c c o u n ta b ility . C o m m e m o r a t i n g v i o l e n c e w i l l n e v e r be a c c e p t a b l e if w e t r u l y d e s i r e p e a c e . M a r g a r e t F r i m o t h l i v e s in A s t o r i a . S he i s a f o r m e r d i r e c t o r o f t h e C l a t s o p C o u n ty W o m e n 's C r i s i s S e r v i c e .
